Disclaimer: Do not Read this story if it is illegal in your area or if you are under age. All characters in this story are completely made up and the events in this story are a combination of real events which happened to me and false events which I made up. Any comments you have can be sent to: kool_31@hotmail.com all flames are ignored. Please enjoy the story.
"Damn this sucks" I said to myself. It's Friday night and I'm sitting here all alone in my room. I could have gone out but with who, and to do what. I'm not a loser my so called friends just don't want to do the things I like, so I'm stuck here playing solitaire on my computer and listening to my stereo. I got home from school about three hours ago and I'm extremely bored. I'm on my tenth game with Westlife playing on my stereo. My school has a certain stereotype about guys who listen to boy bands. They are supposedly gay if they listen to Backstreet boys or N'sync, well I guess they are right about me but I'm not about to let them know that.
My name is Scott and I'm 15 years old I'm in the tenth grade this year. And I must be the most lonely person in the world. I wouldn't say I'm ugly, just not as cute as all the jocks. I have been called cute but I think they were only being nice. I have bad luck with relationships I don't recall having one last over two months every time I find someone that makes me happy they leave me with a broken heart. I'm starting to think I'm meant to be alone forever. It doesn't help that I have clinical depression in fact it makes it ten times worse. I can't tell anyone what I'm going through without telling them I'm gay so I don't say anything I just smile and bear it. The only people who know I'm gay are my friends on the net, but they all live far away.
Well I met this guy in a chat room a few weeks ago. He was nice to me from the moment I entered the room. I like him a lot but too bad he lives far away. We always talk to each other every night. If he's having a bad day he'll tell me about it and I'll do the same. It helps to have him to talk to. Well tonight we were taking and he was telling me about his day. He found out that he has to move and won't be able to talk to me for awhile. I was really depressed. He asked for my home address so he could write me letters. I gave him my address then I had to say good bye to me cause It was getting late. I shut my computer off and climbed into bed and fell asleep quickly.
I woke up the next morning and jumped in the shower. I got out of the shower and went to my room to get dressed. Mom was taking me to get some new clothes, even though I had tons of clothes. My mom is awesome. We jumped into the car and headed towards the mall. I sat in the front seat staring out the window. "what's wrong Scott" Mom asked.
"A friend that I talk to a lot is moving and won't be able to talk for awhile" I told her. "It'll be alright Scott" she said pulling in the parking lot.
We headed towards the stores and we went to MacDonald's after. We got home around 4pm. I went up to my room with the clothes Mom bought me and put them away. I turned my computer on. I sat at my desk and opened my ICQ I had a message from Justin. He told me that he was leaving tomorrow for his new house, but he said he would write me. I was glad that he would write me. I decided to go for a walk. I put some of my new shorts on and one of my new t-shirts on. I threw on my new Nike sneakers and went downstairs. "Mom I'm going outside for a bit I'll be home in a bit" I told her. "Ok Scott" she replied. I grabbed my discman off the counter and put my headphones on and walked out the door.
I headed towards the park. On my way I passed a house that used to be empty but had curtains on the windows. "I could have sworn that house was empty yesterday" I said. I continued walking and when I got to the park there were some kids playing basketball I noticed a new kid sitting on the swings along he looked kinda sad so I walked over. "Is this swing taken" I asked. "No" he replied. "You must be new around here" "yeah we just moved today" "may I ask why you look so upset." "Well I my friend" "where does he live" "somewhere around here" "well do you know his address" "yes, why" "let's go find his house" "are you this nice to everyone you meet" he asked surprised. "Come to think of it not really I'm usually only this nice to people I know" I told him. "Cool well My name is Justin" he said putting his hand out towards me. "I'm Scott" I replied shaking his hand. "My friend has the same name as you" he told me. "He does, do you know where this address is" he asked showing me the paper.
My eyes went wide as I saw that the address he had was in fact my address. "Yeah I know where that place is, in fact I know the person living there" I said. "You do, that's cool" Justin said. "Well I hope I know him cause that's my house." I said. "What, you the Scott I have been talking to on ICQ" Justin said. "Yep" I said. "I should have known" Justin said. "Well come on you can meet my Mom" "ok let's go I just need to stop at my house to tell my parents ok" "no prob Justin." "Hey you can meet my parents Scott" "cool"
We got to Justin's house a few minutes later. "Mom, Dad I'm home" Justin yelled. "In here Justin" his Dad yelled. We walked in to the living room "Mom, Dad remember my friend I was supposed to write when we got here" Justin asked. "Yeah why" his mom asked. "Well this is Scott his lives down the street from us, he is the one I was supposed to write to" Justin said. "Well Scott it's nice to meet you, we heard so much about you from Justin." his Dad said. " I hope it was all good" I said laughing. "It was" his Mom said. "Well Mom I'm going to Scott's house for bit ok" Justin asked. "Ok don't be out too late" "thanks Mom."
We headed towards my house. "So Scott how are things with you" Justin asked. "Ok I guess" I reply. "Things will get better" Justin said putting his arm around my shoulder. We arrived at my house and Justin followed me inside. "Mom I have some good news" I yelled. Mom came out from the kitchen. "What is it Scott" she asked drying her hands. "This is my friend Justin he was the one I told you about, you were right things did turn out alright" I said. She just smiled and shook Justin's hand. "Well I have to finish doing those dishes." she said.
We went up to my room. "Wow you have a big room Scott" Justin said. "Thanks" I replied. Justin sat at my computer desk while I sat on my bed. "Nice computer Scott" he said. " My mom bought it for me last Christmas" I told me. "So Scott tell me what's been going on to look so depressed" Justin suddenly said. "Well it's a mixture of things most of which you have heard before, but mostly I want what I read about in the Internet. I want someone who understands what I feel and can comfort me. I want someone I can hold and someone who won't give up on me when I'm being a jerk" I said letting a few tears escape. Justin got up and walked over to me and knelt down in front of me, he brought his hand to my face and wiped the tears away. "Scott I know I have only known you for only a few weeks, but I understand what you have been going through cause I have been looking for the same thing, and I knew you were depressed so I have that part covered, Scott what I'm saying to say is that I have fallen in love with you" Justin said softly. "Justin I fell in love with you the very first time I talked to you but I never figured we would be together so I didn't get my hopes up" I whispered. "Scott me moving here was no accident I begged my parents to move here. I told them you were going through some bad times and that you really needed a friend to help you get through it and said they would think it over, the next day my dad said he requested that his transfer be moved here and they approved it. When they told me I was so happy"Justin said.
Justin had moved from the floor to beside me. It looked like he was going to cry "Justin what's wrong" I asked. "Nothing it's just hard to believe that we are here together." he said. "Does that mean your my boyfriend" I asked looking at the floor. "If you want me to be your boyfriend" Justin replied lifting my face to meet his eyes. Justin had these deep Blue eyes that just looking into them made to forget about everything around, it felt like he could peer into my soul. "I'd like that very much" I said. "Then it's settled I'm yours forever" Justin said. "Justin don't make promises you can't keep" I said. "Scott you have to believe me I'm yours forever, I know you have been hurt before and I plan on making you forget all of that. I know you put a barrier around your feelings and personally I don't blame you but I intend to help you knock it down, but Scott I'm not going anywhere unless it's with you" Justin said. "Justin are you sure you want to be with a depressed person" I said. "Scott you have to stop thinking you are meant to be happy, I'm here aren't I give me your hand" Justin said holding out his hand. I reached towards his hand a grabbed it. "See I'm real, I'm not a dream and I'm here for you Scott." Justin said Squeezing my hand. Justin let go of my hand and pulled my into a hug. "I love you Scott" "I love you too Justin" we held each other tightly. Every time Justin tried to move I squeezed tighter. I moved us onto my bed and we just laid there holding each other for a while.
Justin turned so he was facing me he moved his face close to mine so that our foreheads were touching then he kissed me. He pulled back a little and I moved my face up to his and kissed him back. "Scott does your mom know your gay" Justin asked softly. "No I'm scared to tell her do your parents know" I replied. "No they would kill me if they found out they are completely against gay people, my dad said they should all be killed." Justin said with a tear in his eye. "It'll be alright Justin I won't let him hurt you and I know my mom won't have a problem cause she has had to treat gay people who have been beaten badly." I said. "She has?" Justin asked. "Yep the other day she was telling she treated a young guy who was beaten by a group of people cause he was gay, she says it shouldn't matter if a person is gay or not" I told Justin.
We laid there for a while longer and I noticed Justin had his eyes closed. "Justin are you asleep" I whispered. No reply. I slowly slipped out from under him and quietly left my room. I walked down the stairs and entered the living room. "Mom would it be alright if Justin stayed the night cause he kinda fell asleep while we were talking." I asked her. "If it's alright with his parents do you know the number" she asked me. I shook my head. "I run over there real quick and ask his parents." I said grabbing my jacket. I opened my front door and left.
I ran all the way to Justin's house. I knocked on the front door. "Why, hello Scott, where's Justin" his Mom asked. "He fell asleep at my house and I was wondering if it would be ok if he stayed the night" I replied. "Sure no sense waking him up if he is already asleep, but I'm gonna have to call your mom to make sure it's alright with her ok" she asked. "Sure" I told her. I gave her my phone number and after she talked to my mom it was settled. I thanks his Mom and ran back to my house. I opened my front door and hung my jacket in the closet. I walked up the stairs and opened my door. There was Justin lying on my bed sleeping. I closed the door behind me and walked over to the bed. I knelt beside Justin I ran my hand gently down his face. I brushed his hair off hi face. "I can't believe I finally got what I have wished for after all these years" I said quietly. "And you'll always have it Scott" Justin whispered. "Justin your awake" I said surprised. "Yeah I woke up when I felt your hand against my face" Justin said. "Sorry" I said. "Don't be, I should be getting home" Justin said getting up. "Your mom said you could stay here tonight" I said. "Cool then lets get some sleep I'm really tired" Justin said before he yawned. "Ok you take my bed I'll sleep on the floor" I told him. "OH NO your sleeping with me so you can't get anymore depressed plus so I won't have to sleep alone" Justin said.
We stripped to our boxers and climbed into my bed. "No funny stuff mister" I said looking at Justin. "Ok but can I have a goodnight kiss" he asked. "Sure" I said. I faced Justin and kissed him. I could feel Justin tongue move against my lips, I opened my mouth to allow him access we probed each others mouths and when we released we were out of breath. "Wow that was great Justin" I said. "Thanks it was my first time" He replied softly. "Same here but I'm glad it was with you" I said giving Justin a quick kiss. "Goodnight Scott I love you" "I love you too Justin"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO." I sat up in a cold sweat. I looked around unsure of where I was. "Scott what's wrong" Justin asked pulling me into a hug. "I had a nightmare I'll be alright Justin" I sobbed. "Scott this nightmare had a big affect on you please tell me what is was about" Justin pleaded. I told him about my nightmare. The whole time I was talking he never let go of me and I'm glad cause I was crying the whole time. "Oh Scott I'm not gonna leave you it was all a dream, let's try to get some sleep ok" Justin said kissing me. I laid back down with Justin and fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning before Justin, he had his arm around me and one of his legs draped over mine. I watched Justin sleep and got to thinking what are we going to do about school on Tomorrow and what about his parents. I didn't have much time to think cause Justin woke up. "Morning Scott" he said with a kiss. "Morning Justin how did you sleep" I replied with another kiss. "Great" he said smiling. We got out of bed "you can have the shower first" I said. "Thanks I'll be right back" he replied. I sat on the edge of my bed thinking of how my life was going It started out good then went bad then went good, what's next will it turn bad again. I started to cry, I'm not sure why but I did. Justin walked in my room and saw me crying. He rushed over to me "Scott what's wrong" he asked worried. I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn't stop crying. "I'll be right back" Justin said running out of my room. He was back a minuted later with my mom. When she saw me her face went pale "What's wrong Scott" she asked. "I don't know" I whispered. "Justin go get Scott's jacket and shoes please" Justin ran downstairs he was back a few minutes later. Mom had me dressed by the time he was back . "ok Justin I'm taking him to the hospital do you wanna come or stay" Mom asked him. "I'm going with him if it's ok with you" Justin replied. "Sure lets' go" mom said. Justin helped me down the stairs he put my arm around his neck for balance and he slowly walked to the car with me. I felt like shit and couldn't stop crying.
We pulled in to the hospital parking lot and before mom could stop the car Justin was out and helping me out of the car. Mom ran ahead to tell the nurse we needed help. They put me in a wheel chair and Justin wheeled me to the room the nurse told us to go to. Justin helped me on to the table and sat beside me. Mom went to get some coffee. "Scott I love you please tell me what's wrong' Justin whispered. I didn't respond I just sat there. I had stopped crying but didn't talk or move. Mom came back a few minutes before the doctor. Mom told the doctor that Justin was there for it all. The doctor asked Justin a few questions and then left he came back with another doctor. "This is doctor Andrews his is a expert on depression he was visiting an depressed patient so I figured he could help" the doctor told us. "Why, what's wrong with my son" My mom asked. "I'm not sure but Doctor Andrews might be able to give you a better answer." "Mrs. Summers, from what you and Scott's friend told me I think your son had Clinical Depression but I'm not sure what type as of yet I'll need to speak with him alone if you don't mind" Doctor Andrews said. "Sure come on Justin lets go get something to drink" Mom said as Justin and her left. The other doctor left.
Doctor Andrews pulled a chair over next to the table. "Scott I'm doctor Andrews but you can call me Ken, I'm going to ask you a few questions ok" he asked. I nodded. "Ok just nod if it' a yes and shake you head for no, have you been feeling really down for a long time" I nodded. "Have you had thoughts of killing your self a few times" I nodded. "Have you had been thinking your life is worthless and that someone is playing a cruel trick on you" I nodded. " have you ever talked to anyone else about this' I shock my head. "Can I ask you a personal question Scott" I nodded. "Do you feel different than other boys do, like that somehow your different" I nodded. "Your gay right Scott" I looked at the doctor with fear. "Don't Worry Scott it's ok I'm not going to say anything, in fact I have a son that is gay and he is younger than you" I relaxed a bit. 'The friend you came in here with, you lobe him don't you" I nodded. "I could tell he loves you, he seems really worried about you." I nodded. "Scott I'm going to get you to take some antidepressants for a while ok, plus I'll also talk with you once a week ok" I nodded. "And Scott, you should tell your Mom, It'll take some worry away form you." the doctor patted me on my back and asked me to follow him. The doctor talked with me as we made our way to the cafeteria. We saw Justin and my mom sitting there. Justin looked around the room and when his eyes met mine he jumped up from the table and ran towards me, mom was right behind him "Scott" Justin yelled. He gave me a big hug. I returned the hug but squeezed hard. "Scott, Are you alright" Mom said suddenly. I let go of Justin and Nodded. "Mrs. Summers I'm gonna get Scott on some antidepressants and I'm going to be seeing him once a week ok" the doctor told my Mom. "Sure anything to help him" she replied.
Mom went with the doctor to sign some papers Justin walked me over to the table and sat down next to me. "Scott you mom knows your gay" Justin said. "I looked at him. "I didn't tell her, we were sitting here and she said she hopped that it wasn't cause you were gay. I asked her how she knew and she explained that you never had many girlfriends and she asked me if I was gay" Justin said. "I'm sorry Justin" I said. "Don't be I'm glad I told her now at least someone else knows and I don't have this big secret hanging over me." Justin said hugging me. "Scott, Justin you two ready to leave" Mom asked walking up to us. "I'm sorry mom" I said. "For what Scott" "for not telling you about me" I said. "Scott I understand it's a hard thing to admit to someone that your gay but I'll still love you just as much cause your still my son and plus I'm not the only one that loves you" she said glancing towards Justin. "Mom thanks, you don't know how much I need to hear that" I said hugging her. I looked up at her and she smiled at me. "Justin can you come here for a minute please" Justin slowly walked over. "Justin I want to thanks you for what you did today" mom said. "What did I do?" Justin asked. "You helped my son you were there and you two are good together last night was the happiest I have seen him in a long time" she said giving Justin a hug.