I stood transfixed a mixture of shock and bewilderment and anger. Kiwi had been in St Andrews since 1988 and had never got in touch . How could he do that to me. I just sat there and stared. About an hour later Griff arrived and came in. He hugged me and got it full blast "How the fuck could he be there all that time and not get in touch. I mean St Andrews its just up the road we could have ... " I blustered.
"Mondo mate calm down it was his choice he knew how to get to us I mean we have not been hard to find, have we. . I never told you, he made me promise not to, but I have met him twice over the years . Once he came to see me when we played at Charlton. He told me he had got a job on a cruise ship arranging entertainment" Griff said hesitantly
"He'd be good at that he'd have all the old biddies round his little finger within minutes." I interrupted.
"Most of the time he asked about you how you were doing and I told him about Fi and how well things were going. The next time must have been just after he came back here. We were playing a friendly at Dunfermline and he was standing outside after the game . Told me he had moved back to hiss sisters but wouldn't be pressed on it. Just kept asking about you mate and were you happy." He said. My eyes were welled with tears..
" Griff" I said, "I'm gonna tell you something I ain't ever told anyone and don't want ever repeated not even to my sis. That night I stayed together with him when I was at university well I stayed together with him in every sense of the word."
" Hey" said Griff his arms round me "I guessed as much. You didn't need to say, I could see it in your eyes whenever we talked about him and when he talked about you it wasn't in the same way as he talked about others - it never was, even right at the first time when we were in Arbroath that summer. . You never said but there was also some chemistry between you two."
The next week we went off to St Andrews for the funeral There was not surprisingly a good turnout Kiwi was that kind of guy very popular. A few faces were there from our past - GG who recognised Griff from his newspaper photos and Johnno and Jeff from Falkirk. All amazingly had kept out of trouble and were doing well for themselves, though I have to say they were looking older than us . We had a few drinks together catching up, and recounting stories of Kiwi. We paid our respects to Kiwi's sister and she asked us to call her in a couple of days.
The following week Griff and I met with his sister in St Andrews. "Three weeks ago I hated you two profoundly. He always talked about you all the time said you were his best mates ever. He was so proud of you both and what you had achieved, I could never understand why such good mates never came to see him . Then I found out that it was his choice , it was in a letter he left for me You" ,she said looking at Griff, "he regarded as a real mate, he idolised you. You , I don't know, you were something really special to him. He said it was his decision to keep his distance from you and he made sure of it.. I've no idea why but I'm sure he had his reasons. "
We asked a few questions about Kiwi and his sister filled us in. She was two years older than Kiwi and they had a hard upbringing . Kiwi had always been in with a bad crowd and thought he could charm his way out of anything.
From the age of 10 he had been almost out of control covering for his lack of stature with in creased bravado and willing to do any dare. That was what got him to Arbroath when he took a car but I mean he had already been in court twice before that.
"Typical Kiwi" Griff and I said "we get sent away for our first real offence and he would have got the judge on his side"
". I don't know ho wI don't know how much he told you about his home life but we were having a few problems by the time he got out on probation and he went even wilder which was why he ended up in your place. After that summer which was the happiest I ever saw him the move South didn't go well.
He resented being there he wanted to be back up here with you. Argument followed argument and when I moved out to go to college he cleared off and went to London. He kept in touch with me though. I was worried sick about him. I was sure he would end up back inside or worse and I had all sorts of fears as to how he was earning. A few years later he told me about the modelling, which didn't really surprise me , but he was adamant that was all he did. In his bar work where he met a lot of people from the entertainment business and you know what he was like got on well with them Then I heard from him that he was going on a cruise ship as an entertainment officer "
" I saw him and . he looked different somehow and mentioned that he had seen both of you recently. ( Stretching the truth a bit I thought) . It turned out to be a great move for him. He was great at the job and got promotion and ended up leaving with a fair bit saved. He had the idea of setting up a Club and I heard of an opening here in St Andrews where I had moved. I really wanted my baby brother home where I could keep an eye on him and between his savings and my husband's we were able to get a lease on the place. After a slow start it became the in place to be and was packed out every weekend and as you will see from his will did really well. He was always the life and soul of the party and had boundless energy and despite being your age could mix easily with the student crowd in the term time and the golf tourists in the rest of the year with equal success. It's a pity he had never married what a catch he would have been but although there were always plenty offers he tended to keep himself to himself and I suppose away from work he was very lonely, not that he was away from work very often. He was a magic uncle to my kids they loved him and he did a hell of a lot of private good work for charities in the areas especially kids charities. But funnily I think the happiest time of his life was when he was with you guys."
"Here I think you will want to see this", she handed me a thick folder and left the room. I opened it and immediately tears came into my eyes. It was a scrap book. Kiwi had kept every little thing about us that had ever appeared in the papers and there were hundreds of pics going all the way back to our holiday in Blackpool and even of our junior football team which he had watched that summer. We looked and laughed at the change of hairstyles and memories..
His sister returned , " He left these for you too" . There were letters for us both , a voice from the grave, I sat down and opened it.
"Mondo if you are reading this then I'm not with us anymore and we've never been back in touch. I know you will be hurt about this especially when you find out that I am only over the water from you , and by the way don't blame Griff , he is , as I know you know , a fantastic mate, no man could have a better one , although he saw me a couple of times I never let it slip. I couldn't let you know. I know how happy you are with Fi .I've actually met her you know, through a mutual friend. She was introduced to me one night at a charity dinner and shit I almost collapsed when I realised who she was. I can see why you two get on so much. I felt so easy with her,
it was like how the two of us and Griff got along just so comfortable in each other's company. Griff told me how much you two are in love and that was obvious from the one night.. I even met your oldest daughter who has been in my Club a couple of times she's got your eyes. I know that somehow if we had got together then something might have happened which would have damaged so many people and end up damaging you too and I couldn't let that happen."
"You can't know the number of times I wanted to pick up the phone , just to talk to you or invite you out for a drink but it would just have been selfish of me. Mondo that night we spent in my flat in London, I decided that morning that if I saw you again it would be too hard to let go, maybe for both of us. It was the best night of my life. I loved you more than anything and always will"
I was crying buckets Griff just looking at me as I wept. "I loved you too wee guy. It might be a different type of love but love it certainly was."
Griff and I left and we took the book. I let him read the letter vowing him to secrecy, and I knew it would be kept.
There was another envelope for the two of us - it contained the Dundee Telegraph cutting I had been sent seven years earlier highlighted at the section "Cornfoot claimed only to have had two drinks" and written beside it on a post-it was " He did but it was in my bar, and I made sure that they had some extra punch in them . Yes I then called the cops when he left with the reg. number. The clowns should have got him before the open road where he could have hurt someone but as usual they were too slow. Thank fuck he didn't hurt anyone but the result was magnificent. It was for the three of us and the others he fucked with "
I smiled "Thanks mate" I said to myself I saw Griff looking to looking to the sky and giving a thumbs up.
His Club had been a big success and he left in the region on £ 1 1/2 million. It had even been the haunt of the heir to the throne in the last year or so , I could just imagine Kiwi and a prince, unlike many he would have just fitted in without trying . He left £500,000 to the two of us to set up a trust to give people a second chance at life like we all had. Griff and I vowed that day to match that amount . Griff has made a fair bit with is football and donated 200k and with my company sold I was able to donate £1m The last ten years have been spent administering the trust and giving young guys a chance.
This is the sixth anniversary of Kiwis death and I felt it was time this story was told. My inspiration was as always Kiwi. It is like he has never really left as I keep finding cryptic notes in the huge folder of clippings he left me. This is dedicated to you wee guy hope you are laughing and charming the pants of everyone up there.
That's the end of the story - the names and places have bene changed to protect the innocent but the basis is based on truth. I enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoyed reading it