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"Losing My Virginity And Then My Heart." Part Two.
By Danny D
My mom and dad drove me to Stanford. My dad was beaming. I was finally able to believe that he was proud of me. It was all over his face. My mother talked a lot about her experiences there. I wondered how she might have been different if it were the twins instead of me she was dropping off. We went to my dorm, found my room and I met my roommate Hunter who was from Fresno. He seemed like a nice guy: freshman, high school football quarterback, attractive and friendly.
My mom and dad introduced themselves to his parents. Finally, everyone left.
Over time, Hunter and I became good roommates, and slowly started becoming friends. Quickly we realized that we had different interests, but maintained a mutual respect. He was pledging a fraternity, played touch football on the lawn, either had a date on the weekend or was at his frat house and was majoring in business. My major was chemistry, I joined a yoga group (Coach Wilson always talked about doing yoga and I had started during my senior year), started swimming twice a week, and spent my weekends hanging around the dorms.
But there was no tension between us. We spoke and went to dinner together once in a while in the commons. He talked about the girlfriend he left at home Ð he missed her. He talked about the girls he dated at school.
I was also becoming friends with other guys on the floor. Some of them seemed like jerks, but a few of them really seemed interesting and cool.
The week before finals, everyone hit the books hard. Hunter and I were up late, studying in our room. It was almost two in the morning when we decided to call it a night. It wasn't odd for him to talk about the girls he was dating and getting laid or not getting laid. And it wasn't odd for him to start the conversation around bedtime.
"If you're interested, I could fix you up," he said.
"I'm good. Right now I'm really just interested in focusing on my studies. And believe me, I'm got my hands full."
He and I began undressing. "I knew that gymnastics got guys in shape but you're like ripped. Does yoga keep you in shape?"
"Yoga, yeah, I mean the tough stuff, takes more strength than you might think, plus I'm a lot more flexible than most people."
"Yeah, I know." He had seen me stretching in the room. "If I were that flexible, I might never leave the room," he said, getting into his bed.
I looked at him, wondering if he meant what I thought he meant. "Maybe that's why I don't," I said and smiled.
He laughed.
I turned off the light and got into bed.
"You were kidding, right," he said. "Fuck, if I thought doing yoga would make me flexible enough, I'd be out there everyday."
I laughed, looking toward his bed. "I've always been flexible. Gymnastics really helped, but yoga does too."
He rolled over in his bed and looked across the room at me. "You are kidding, right? Can you really suck your own dick?"
I laughed. "Good night."
"Fuck. That's crazy. Can you?"
"Good night."
"A friend of mine in high school could do that."
"He told you he could, or you saw him?" I asked.
"He's like my best friend. So I saw him do it. I thought it was crazy hot."
"Really? Why is that?"
"Come on. There is hardly a guy who wouldn't if he could."
"I guess. Good night." I rolled over and faced the wall.
"Now you've got me really horny."
I chuckled. "So, do what you usually do."
He moved in his bed. I looked over and he was looking at me. "You can hear?"
"Come on, it's not like you're a stealth jerker." I smiled. "Everyone makes a little noise."
"I never hear you."
"That's because I do it mostly when you're on your dates or at the house. I can't very well do it when you're hear."
"Because I'll hear you," he said.
"No, because you'd see me rolled into a ball sucking myself off," I said and laughed.
He laughed. "I hate you." Neither of us spoke. Then he said, "Can you really?"
"We should stop talking about this because now you're making me horny."
"So be horny. I'm horny as hell." We lay in bed not speaking for a while. I found the silence uncomfortable. "Are we buddies?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'd say we are," I said, looking toward him.
"So I can tell you something. Just between you and me."
"Yeah, I guess."
"My buddy who could suck his own cock," he said and then said nothing. "He sucked mine. I mean if you're going to suck your own dick, why not your buddies? Right?"
"Probably a lot of guys do that with friends," I said. My heart was pounding. Was he going to ask me to suck his cock? What would I say? "I mean, if he sucked his own I guess sucking yours,"
He interrupted. "We sucked each others."
"Like I said, I'm sure a lot of guys do that with friends." My cock was throbbing.
"Have you?"
"Sucked a guys cock? No. I never really had a good enough friend, I guess."
A long silence. I sat up and looked at him. "Are you still friends with him?"
"Yeah, he's like my best bud." Silence. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"
"Absolutely not. Like I said, I'm sure a lot of guys do it and I'm sure I would have if I had a good enough friend."
"Because, like him, you can suck your own."
I chuckled.
Moments later I heard him masturbating. I rolled over, with my back to him and began stroking my cock. I was close almost immediately.
"You're not all that quiet yourself," he said.
"Neither are you."
I heard his breathing quicken. It seemed louder this time. Seconds later, I shot a huge load into my briefs. I heard him pulling his underwear off. I did the same. We both sat up and tossed them toward our closets.
We were up early, in the shower and dressed to head to the commons for breakfast. He and I sat together. "I need to check in," he said.
"What do you mean?"
"With what I told you last night. You're cool with that."
"Is it true? I mean you just didn't say it to get me to say whether or not I can give myself head?"
He stared at me. "I'm not like that, but I get it. Yeah, it's true. I swear."
"I'm absolutely fine with it." He stared at me and then nodded. I said, "And yes I can suck my own cock."
He stared at me and then smiled. "Damn, you are so lucky. I wish I could do that."
I smiled. "Do what? Suck my cock?"
"You're funny. So, where do you go for these yoga sessions?" he said and smiled.
The next ten days were stressful. Studying for our first set of finals. I had done very well on my midterms, but these were finals. Each night we studied until late. Each night we climbed into bed and each night we jerked off. I found it extremely exciting and wished I could watch him. I couldn't stop thinking about what he told me and wondered if he thought anymore about my flexibility. I wondered if he'd want to watch me suck my dick, but I was too afraid to ask.
Finals were over. Hunter headed to Fresno. I got a ride to San Jose and then flew to LA. My dad picked me up. Being home for Christmas was okay. One of my sisters, Amy, dropped out of college and got a job selling costume jewelry at a department store. She now had a boyfriend who seemed to be a real jerk. My other sister, Sarah, had transferred to Cal State University Northridge. She was majoring in biology and had plans on going to school so she could work as a crime scene lab tech. She also had a boyfriend who seemed like a nice guy. Everyone was over for Christmas dinner, which was uneventful. But what was interesting was that for the first time I noticed that the twins were at odds with each other and my mom sat silently. Clearly, they didn't like each other's boyfriends.
I called Coach Wilson. He invited me over for dinner. I met his partner, Gary. He was a really nice guy and very athletic looking. We talked about being at Stanford. That's where they met. They went their separate ways after graduation and then met again and became partners. They had been together for over fifteen years. They asked if I was out with my family or at Stanford. I told them I wasn't. Gary encouraged me to go to LGBT meeting and get to know other gay men. I wasn't sure I was ready. "You're not that skinny prepubescent boy anymore. You're a man who deserves respect," The Coach said.
I flew back north and took a van to Palo Alto. I hung out with a few of the guys on the floor that I was becoming friends with. Derek lived a few doors down. Another guy named Sam. And there was this really cool guy whose parents were originally from a small town outside of Amsterdam, Netherlands and had come to California when he was ten years old. His name was Bastian, which he said is a derivative of Sebastian. I thought he was one of the hottest guys on the floor. He was blond, blue-eyed, about my height, smooth all over (even shaved his pubes), thin but defined with a nice set of abs, great ass and an uncut cock that hung like mine did. What I thought was really cool was that he had this great tattoo of a dragon on his side. The other thing that I noticed was that when all the guys would head to the bathroom in the morning or night to shower, they'd be wrapped in a towel until they pulled it off to step into the shower. Then they'd dry off in the shower and wrap their towel around themselves. Bastian pulled off his towel as soon as he entered the bathroom and then shaved, brushed his teeth, went to the shower and didn't put his towel back on until he was about to step out of the bathroom. Soon I began doing the same.
Of all the guys on the floor, he was the one who I found the most interesting and he and I were becoming good friends. His father was some big computer guy and Bastian was majoring in engineering.
During finals, I heard a couple of guys commenting on him being comfortable walking around naked and John, Bastian's roommate, said, "Yeah, well, I know for sure that he's is straight. It's just that European thing. You know how they are. Besides, if I looked like him, I'd walk the campus naked."
I told Bastian about it. He laughed. "When I go back to visit my grandparents and cousins for the summers, my cousins and I go to the beach and every one is naked. If you go to a sauna the men and the women use the same one and they are all naked. It's Americans who are weird about being naked. And who said I am straight?"
"John," I said. I felt butterflies in my stomach.
"He's stupid. I don't think like that. I am me. He says that because I was dating Cathy. Tomorrow I might date her brother." He looked at me and smiled. "I do what I want with who I want to do it with. You don't think like them."
"No," I said.
"No, I mean, I know you don't. My parents don't get the way Americans are so uptight about sex and nudity."
I did really well my first quarter at Stanford, so I wasn't as nervous as I was then. Everyone, even I was proud of me.
Hunter returned. Classes started. He said he did well, but could have done better. "A lot to juggle with pledging," he said.
I asked him about his holiday. He said it wasn't what he had hoped for. He and his girlfriend broke up. Actually, she broke up with him. He said he expected it but it was still hard. And his best friend, the self-sucker, was busy with his girlfriend almost every night. I wondered if he was referring to him not being around as a friend or as someone to have sex with. I didn't ask.
Even though he wanted to do better with grades, it seemed that he was hanging out a lot more with his frat brothers and drinking more often.
Bastian, Sam and I had a class together. That was nice. Bastian joined me at the yoga club. He did better than he thought he would do. He and I started studying together and eating meals together. That quarter was turning out to be much better in terms of making friends, than the last quarter. Coach Wilson told me, "It takes time. You'll find guys who you want to be friends with."
Bastian had asked a girl out that he was very interested in. He had talked about her but thought she might not go out with him. I couldn't imagine anyone turning him down. She accepted. He was very excited. He talked about it a lot and wondered where to take her. I knew who she was and thought she was very pretty and seemed nice.
I spent the evening hanging around the dorm. Hunter was at the frat house. At one o'clock in the morning, someone knocked on my door. I jumped up and stumbled to the door, still asleep. After I opened it I realized that I had an erection and it was bulging in my boxer briefs.
"Sorry, Jordan," Bastian said. "I didn't mean to bother you. I thought maybe you were studying." He started to walk away.
"Is something wrong?"
I hadn't jerked off. I sometimes wake up with a hard on at night. I always wake up with a hard on in the morning. When he woke me I had a raging hard on. I noticed him glancing down.
"I'm sorry," he said. `I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"No," I said, pressing my cock against my stomach. "Bastian, come back. I was asleep but I'm up now. Hunter won't be back tonight."
"I just have to talk to someone. You're the one I thought of."
"Cool, what's up?" I turned on my light.
He stepped into my room. I got back in my bed and covered up.
"I interrupted," he said.
I felt my face blush. "No, ah, I really was asleep. I woke up with a boner."
"Yeah, I do that all the time."
"What's up?" I asked.
"This is stupid," he sounded upset. He sat at my desk, facing me.
I sat up in bed, turning toward him and put my pillow over my lap.
"You've seen my cock. Right?" he asked.
I was surprised by his question and not sure why he was asking. "Yeah, sure," I said confused. "Why?"
"We were making out. I was really turned on. I think she was turned on. I mean when I touched her pussy it was wet."
"Sounds like it was going good."
"I undid my pants. I had a boner. She put her hand on it. Then she looked down at it and took her hand away. I kept touching her, but I could tell something changed."
"It scared her? She thought you're too big," I said smiling. "I mean you look like you're hung."
He said, "She said, I don't like uncircumcised guys. It's too weird. She said my cock is weird because it's uncircumcised. What is it with these girls?"
"Girls. This happened with other girls?
"In high school. Same thing happened. It's so fucked up."
"Damn," I said. "You're kidding me. What difference would it make to them?"
"She said it looks weird and someone told her that you get yeast infections from guys with foreskin."
"What a stupid thing to say."
"First, it's not true. Second, I don't fuck without a condom on. Third, I don't fuck stupid girls."
"Damn, I'm sorry."
"Americans are weird about sex, really weird. When I graduate, I'm going back to The Netherlands."
"I'm sorry. If I were a girl, I'd let you fuck me," I said smiling.
He stared at me and then smiled. "See you're weird about sex too."
I blushed.
"I'm kidding," he said. "I haven't let anyone fuck me either."
"Ah ha, so you're weird about sex, too," I said smiling but feeling nervous.
He chuckled. "I just haven't met the right guy."
I smiled. "Me neither, but I'd fuck you even though you have skin."
He smiled. "That's big of you." Then he laughed. "I saw that bulge in your underwear." I chuckled. "You still hard?" he asked.
"Yeah, it's not going away."
"Can I see it," he said smiling. "Or is that weird."
My face felt like it was on fire. "It's not weird I guess." I started to move my pillow. "But it's weird to whip it out while you're sitting there dressed."
"You are weird about sex," he said. He stood up. Undid his pants and pulled out his cock and got himself hard while I watched. I had never seen a hard cock, other than my own, in real life. I watched it go from soft to hard. He did it with such comfort and I was so turned on and so nervous that I felt like I could start shaking. He moved closer to me, turned sideways and pushed his hips forward and then pulled back the foreskin. "Have you seen many uncut cocks?"
"No," I said. He was about seven inches or more. My mouth watered. I wanted to fall down on my knees and take him deep into my throat.
I pulled the pillow from my lap and stood up. My legs felt weak. I pulled down my boxer briefs. My cock was rock hard and pulsing.
"You're bigger than me," he said. "And thicker, but our balls are the same." He sounded so calm. He pulled his cock up against his stomach and then pulled his scrotum forward. I did the same.
"I don't think your cock looks weird."
He smiled and pressed his cock back into his pants. "I'm going to go to the bathroom and jerk off."
"Why can't you jerk off in your room?" I asked.
"John thinks it's weird. On night, I was in my bed jerking off and he got up and said that when I was done I should tell him. He went to the lounge."
I laughed. "Americans," I said. I sat on my bed, but didn't cover myself.
"Are you offended by a guy jerking off?" he asked.
"No. If I tell you this, you can't tell anyone." He nodded. "Only because of guys like John." He nodded again. "Hunter jerks off in his bed and I jerk off in mine. I mean the lights are off and he's all covered. But I can hear him and he says he hears me."
"So as long as you can't see him and he can't see you. That's okay?"
"No," I said. "I wouldn't care if I saw him or he saw me, but I think it would bother him."
"So you want to jerk off with me?"
"In the bathroom? No, but if you want to do it here, I'll join you."
He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his socks. He pulled his sweater and shirt off. His chest looked incredible Ð smooth, defined, tight abs. Then off came his pants and underwear. "Can I sit on your bed?"
"Make yourself comfortable," I said, moving so he could sit beside me. There were thousands of butterflies in my stomach. My arms were almost shaking. We both sat on my bed, our backs against the wall. He moved his leg, it touch mine. He began stroking his cock. I began stroking mine, but not hard. I was close already.
"I've jerked off with guys in The Netherlands, even two of my cousins. Over there jerking off is very natural."
"Have you ever jerked off with a guy here?" I asked.
"No, guys here think it's weird. Have you?"
"No," I said. "I've thought about it, but like you said, guys are weird about it."
He kept stroking. I felt lightheaded. My cock felt like it was going to burst it was so hard. He was stroking hard. "She really pissed me off. She's going to tell other girls." He stopped stroking his cock and pressed if forward from the base and said, "Do you think it looks weird."
"No, not at all," I said staring at his beautiful cock. He pulled the skin back and forth. I noticed him staring at mine. I pressed it forward for him to see. "Very nice," he said.
"Bastian, she's stupid and any girl who won't go out with you because you've got an uncut cock is stupid. Why would you want to go with them? I mean would you not go out with a girl because she had small tits."
"Yes," he said. Then he laughed. I laughed. He started laughing harder. "That was funny. Yes." He nudged me with his shoulder. "I've gone out with girls with small tits. What about you?"
"I haven't dated."
"Really? Why not? You're a really good-looking guy. You have a great body and your cock is awesome."
I chuckled. "I'm kind of shy and never asked anyone out. Now, I think I want to just focus on school."
He looked at me. "I'm probably not going out for a while. We can hang out."
"That's cool. We can do yoga."
"And this, if you want? And I'm getting close," he said. "Are you close?"
"Yeah." I said.
"Okay, you go first. I love watching guys shoot."
I began stroking hard. It didn't take long. "I'm going to shoot," I said. He moved forward so he could better see. I stroked faster. I moaned and cum exploded from my cock. It hit my face twice. Then I pulled my cock close to my stomach and wet my chest. "Fuck," I moaned. "Big load."
"Oh man that's so hot." He sat back. "Look at me, I'm close. I like being watched."
"Go for it," I said.
"I like that you hit your face. Watch this." He stroked hard. Then he leaned forward and opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue. Cum hit his face and shot into his mouth and onto his chin. Then he sat back and kept coming.
He looked at me. "That was a big load too," I said. "You got it in your mouth."
He licked his lips. "I'm trying to blow your mind."
"Not happening yet," I said. I ran my finger over my cheek where there was cum and then over my chest. I gathered a big glob of cum and then ran my finger over my tongue.
He smiled. "Maybe you're not weird."
I laughed and grabbed my briefs and wiped myself clean.
"Can I use this to wipe up?" he said grabbing my cum wet briefs.
I got up. "I can give you a clean tee shirt or boxers."
"Forget it." He wiped his chest, his fingers and his cock. He dressed. I stayed naked. "You know something. You're weird like me and that's cool, really cool."
"You're cool too."
He left. I picked up my briefs to toss them into my laundry bag. They were wet to my hand. I looked at them. My face tingled when I brought my briefs to my face and took a deep breath. Chills ran through my body.
Bastian and I became a lot better friends as the quarter continued. I found myself feeling attracted to him, but felt scared too. Although he was comfortable jerking off with guys, he was clearly attracted to girls. I thought about that night often but hadn't suggested we do it again and neither had he. At least not for a while.
Thank you for reading along.
dannyd