Mark knew it would happen. Sooner or later it would. He just didn't know who, when or where. And he hoped that given his usual conservative habits, he wouldn't let the moment pass with it could occur.
Stephanie had slid her hand down his swim shorts one summer. It was the first time he remembered anyone touching his private parts. Others had touched him years before obviously Doctors, parents and inquisitive cousins but he didn't remember them.
Mark remembered Stephanie. She said his was the first penis that she'd ever touched. Her fingers explored the length of his cock and juggled his testicles.
"You're not hard" she exclaimed. He had feared his cock would do exactly that. It wasn't that her fingers didn't feel good, they did.
Mark felt a tingle in his gut but not the usual feelings he had when he was about to masturbate. Or the little shivers he felt when he lay naked on his bed running the tips of his fingers of one hand on the other side of his body.
And it certainly wasn't a combination of pleasure and pain he felt when he pinched very hard the dark pink nipples that got hard and erect when he did so.
"Nice" she said when Stephanie withdrew her hand. "Wanna feel my tits?" she offered.
Truthfully Mark didn't care about her breasts. He remembered seeing his little baby brother suck on his mother's breasts when they were both younger. He stared but not because of seeing her tits. It was beautiful to watch.
He shouldered the bag and climbed the steps to the third floor. Mark liked the third floor actually because there wasn't anybody making noise above his dorm room. And the older dormatories had little balcony like things out the windows.
He and his roommate could both fit outside standing on the foot deep ledges or sit on the window sill and dangle their feet behind the vanity walls. There were times when they sat there naked, their indecency protected from sight.
At times Mark, relying on the amount of beer or smoke they had consumed thought about letting his hand move to the bare thigh of his roommate or even further. But he didn't.
They lay around their dorm room in underwear, wet towels or nothing at all. The heat that rose to the third floor rooms offered an excuse for that rather then the real reason.
Mark's cock got hard often of course. His roommate didn't seem to mind though there were comments friends make about each other. And Danny too hardened now and then inviting Mark to joke in the same way.
Perhaps this year, Mark thought as he neared the top flight of stairs, he would find a way to satisfy his friend.
In the darkness of the nights, the rustle of sheets would telecast their nocturnal self satisfaction. Each would listen to be inspire for their own actions. Sometimes both would silently join the other's deep breathing exercise sharing little moans they both ignored.
"Shit" Danny or Mark might say aloud amazed at the feeling, number of spurts or amount of satisfaction they felt. The other might giggle or silently enjoy the sounds.
Conway walked past him wearing only a towel. They did that. Sometimes in the middle of the night regardless whether the hallways were hot or not, dorm neigbors walked naked from and to the communal bathroom. Their bare skin lit by the blue lights that replaced the flouresents at 2 am.
Mark had walked that way now and then. Now and then he let his cock point the way in a subsconscious call for others like him to acknowledge and take that step he had been relunctant to take.
"Hey, welcome back" Conway said twisting his body to greet Mark. His cock was flacid but very visable.
"Thanks, nice to see you" Mark smiled and his eyes stared at what he was glad to see.
Conway grabbed his penis and waved it like a hand saying hello, laughing.
"This is gonna be the year" Mark said in a quiet voice low enough to qualify as an aside but loud enough for Conway to hear, perhaps on purpose.
The door was locked. Mark let his bag slide from his shoulder to the floor. There wasn't the telltale tie on the doorknob, a signal that Danny and he had agreed upon but never used.
Danny talked about the campus female population like any horny male student. Mark laughed or shared amiration. He truthfully liked attractive females. Their grace, physical beauty, smiles and personalities were worth the comments the dormmates shared.
"Shit" he muttered as he fumbled for the key he kept in the bottom of his bag.
It was an old Army canvase bag. In fact it was the one his father had used when wearing a uniform. Mark didn't remember those years too well. There was the image of his father in a uniform hugging his mother burned in his brain.
But his Dad had retired from that job and moved on to working for an airline. That was cool because Mark got to hang around the type of huge jet planes his Dad piloted. And he too planned for that to be his career.
The key slid in easily and the door opened wide.
He had once seen his father's bare ass. It was moving and flexing. The way the buttock muscles clenched and released was mesmorizing to him that time. The fact his father was fucking some Airline attendant in the back of a Boeing 707 didn't permeate his consciousness then.
And the fact his father was cheating on his mother didn't have the impact it had years later when his mother caught the man doing the same thing.
But the image of his fathers smooth buttocks remained in his head as beatiful. Later it bothered Mark that that was the image he remembered. Still later, he knew why. And finally he laughed at himself knowing it didn't matter.
What mattered was he knew he was gay. And he'd have sexual relationships eventually when the time was right.
Like some cheap SciFi channel movie that image filled his brain again. The rounded curves hardening, the fully round shape becoming hard muscle and indented skin alternating with the returning to full shape. The grunts and moans he hadn/t thought about much were there again in his ears, not distracting his eyes from absorbing the top of the thick thighs.
But the images were different. There were no Pilot uniform trouser cloth around the thighs or the laughable image of his Dad's pilot hat on the back of his head. The bare shoulders and flexing back muscles were there.
And there was a tatoo on the shoulder, an image of a goat, indeed the astronomical sign of a Capricorn.
His father was a Pices. His roommate Danny was a capricorn.
His hands braced him on the bed. The bottoms of the tennis shoes of the feet of whoever was below him were high in the air.
"Shit" Mark finally said. He realized he had been standing there watching, learning, absorbing and slowly realizing he knew this would be the year.
Mark just knew.