Maze of Moments

DISCLAIMER, WARNINGS, & ALL THAT GOOD STUFF:

Nope, I don't know Lance Bass, nor do I know the other members of N'Sync, and what follows should not imply anything about their sexuality. The following work is fiction. Still, one can always dream, right?

If you aren't old enough to be reading this...well, hell, don't!

This story is copyright by me, and any posting or other use without my expressed consent is strictly prohibited! Don't make me come find you!

I also would like to thank everyone who has been kind enough to drop me a line about the first two chapters...your input is most welcome! Hey, join the club - tell me what you think about the infancy of the "Kevin and Lance Universe!" Forward all questions and comments to:

Kandlstories@aol.com

Thanks for waiting...now, on with the show!

---Tony

The Maze of Moments - A Kevin and Lance Story

From the end of chapter two......

Kevin got up and left the room, leaving his roommate and his guest.

"Wow," Lance said quietly.

"Yeah, tell me about it. He's been through a lot. I can't imagine never knowing my folks. I guess he's turned out okay though. He did pretty well on the house sale, and my dad helped him invest a good chunk of that money, so Kevin is set for a good long while."

"He seems to be okay with it though."

"Yeah, more or less I guess. Losing his parents without even knowing them has affected him though. Let me tell you Lance...I love Kevin to death, I really do. On the outside, he's got it all going for him: the muscles, the music, everything. But inside, there's a very scared little boy. He tries not to show his emotions, but I can tell that it bothers him. I think he feels like he was abandoned."

"But it wasn't his fault, or his parents either for that matter."

"I know that, and so do you, and Kevin would probably agree with us. But on the inside....well, I think that's a little different. There are some things you still don't know about."

Kevin walked back into the living room and handed beers to his friends, and sat back down on the couch.

"Okay, you've heard my story, or most of it at least. What about you?"

Chapter Three - Knowing Me, Knowing You, part two

"We've got all night, let's take our time. Tell me your secrets, I'll tell you mine."

• from "Call It Love" by Poco

"Well," Lance began, "not much to tell really." He paused for a moment and took a sip from the beer bottle in his hand. "Grew up here in Mississippi, sang in chorus, got a call from Justin, and the rest is history."

Kevin and Eric stared at Lance for a moment. "That's it?" Kevin asked.

Lance shrugged and grinned.

"Oh, come on now, there's got to be more to it than that," Eric added.

Lance gave a short laugh and sighed. "Okay, but remember, you asked for it." He then told his hosts the condensed version of his life story; of growing up in Clinton, Mississippi, just outside of Jackson; of his parents, Jim and Diane; his sister Stacy and her husband Ford; about how he was a member of the "Mississippi Show Stoppers" Choir when he was fourteen; of how he wanted to be an astronaut when he was growing up. Finally, he talked about NSYNC, his fellow bandmates and friends, Justin, JC, Joey, and Chris, and how they first achieved success in Europe, their debut in the United States, and their trials and legal difficulties which ended with the "No Strings Attached" album. What had supposed to have been a shortened version of the Official Biography of James Lance Bass actually turned into an hour and a half session, interrupted by the odd question here or there from Eric or Kevin. When he was finished, the sun had already set.

"Damn, guess I can really get going there when I want to," he laughed.

Eric looked behind him at the clock sitting on the counter. "Shit," he muttered, "it's almost nine. I've got a ton of work to do before work tomorrow. I'm gonna head upstairs, you two have fun. Lance, a pleasure as always."

The three rose from their respective seats, and Lance shook Eric's hand. "Thanks for putting up with me Eric, I appreciate it."

"You're more than welcome, anytime. Good night guys...don't do anything I wouldn't." Eric winked at Kevin, and quickly trotted up the stairs to his room before his roommate had a chance to respond.

Kevin and Lance looked at each other for a moment before sitting back down on the couch.

"So," they said in unison.

"You first," Kevin said with a grin.

"Well, I was wondering...and you can tell me if this is something too personal...but, do you miss seeing your relatives in Chicago? I mean, I need a family fix every once and awhile...isn't it hard for you?"

"Not really," Kevin answered. "My Nanna Douglas...that's my grandmother, my dad's mom...she can be, well, a little overbearing at times. I guess that's the result of having money. You expect things to be your way, and if they aren't, then it's automatically wrong......" Kevin froze before going on. Great, he thought, didn't engage brain again before talking. Lance has money, you asshole, and probably a good chunk of it too. "Uh...I didn't mean..."

"It's okay, I know what you meant. Go on."

Kevin looked relieved. "Well, I go up north once, maybe twice a year, put in my appearance. But I don't feel at home there. See, there was some kind of big argument over where I was going to live after mom and dad died...took awhile for things to get settled. I think Nanna held a grudge against my Grandpa Ray and Grandma Helen. Anyway, she tries to get me to move every time I talk to her, go to Chicago and get absorbed into the family business. Right now, my Uncle Jake is running things, and I guess they're grooming my cousin Chad to take over one day, and Nanna would love for me to be right there along with him."

"What business is your family in?"

Kevin shrugged. "You know, I really don't know a whole hell of a lot about it. It has something to do with stocks, investments, that sort of thing. All I know for sure is that the stipend each year says 'Douglas Foundation' on it."

"A stipend? You get money from the family then?" Lance asked.

"Yeah, I just shove it into savings. Out of sight, out of mind, right?"

"Yeah, I suppose so."

The room became quiet again.

"Okay, mind if I ask you something....personal?" Kevin said.

Lance could feel a burning sensation rising up from his neck, and his stomach began to churn. "Uhm...yeah. Sure, go ahead."

Kevin took a deep breath. "Eric....kind of said something before when I was grilling, and I think he was just pulling my leg, but....it's been on my mind all evening."

"Go on," Lance urged, slight hesitation to his voice.

"Well, this may be way out of line.....Eric thinks you're....gay."

Lance closed his eyes and sighed. Well Bass, he thought to himself, you've been wondering all damn day, guess it's time to face the music.

Kevin, meanwhile, saw the discomfort his friend was now in, and shifted a little on the couch. Great, either he gets this question all the time and is tired or embarrassed by it....or Eric was right after all.

"Sounds crazy, I know," he said. "You don't have to answer it you know...it was probably wrong of me to even ask in the first..."

Lance brought his right hand up to his mouth and began to chew at his thumbnail. "Uh.....yeah. Yeah, I'm gay Kevin," he replied quietly.

Kevin's eyes grew wide. "Holy shit," he muttered under his breath.

The hot sensation spread to the rest of Lance's face upon hearing Kevin's reaction. "I'll....I'll leave if you want me to..."

"What? God, no, why would you do that? Lance, it's okay, really."

Lance was still chewing his nail, and looking at the floor. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I mean, it didn't sound like it was okay."

"Huh?" Kevin was confused for a second. "Oh! No, no....I'm not pissed or freaked out or anything, it's just....well, it's kind of hard to explain."

Lance stopped nibbling as a glimmer of hope, that same glimmer that was present earlier in the day slowly started to return. Is he after all, he thought? He looked up from the floor to his friend. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know if I want to get into this or not," Kevin said while looking away.

"Now, hang on just a second...I just came out to you, don't leave me hanging here," Lance said with a slight laugh.

"Good point. Okay, here goes. I'm....uh...that is...I'm bi."

Now it was Lance's turn to looked surprised. "Bi? As in, bisexual?"

"Yeah. I'm attracted to both men and women. I hope that doesn't gross you out or anything. And the reason I said 'holy shit' is because Eric was right in pegging you...I mean, that is, he figured you were...well, what I'm trying to say..."

Lance started to relax again and smiled at Kevin, who looked like a toddler trying to explain how the priceless vase was broken by the wayward baseball in the house. He also noted how cute his new friend looked when he was at a loss for words, which apparently happened quite a bit.

"I think I know what you mean," he said, interrupting what was turning out to be a rambling monologue. "Eric figured it out when I asked him if you guys were gay, although I'm not entirely sure how he did it. But he said you guys were straight....no, wait a second, he said he was straight, he never mentioned you at all."

"He knows better I think. My sex life is my business after all, and he doesn't go out of his way to bring it up unless he knows I have first. After all, we just met you and everything."

"Do you guys....uh...do you all...?"

"Mess around?" Kevin completed.

"Um...yeah."

Kevin smiled as he shook his head. "Nope, never have. Probably never will either. Well, we've jack....uh, never mind." Kevin stopped himself before going any further, figuring that if Eric was polite enough not to tell Lance that he was bi, he wasn't going to mention that they had masturbated in front of each other once and awhile, even if it was the rare occasion these days. Besides, Lance still hadn't really reacted to how he felt about bisexual people, and he wanted to know this. "So, you're not, like, grossed out or anything, are you?"

"About what?" Lance had now turned and brought his legs up onto the couch, sitting cross-legged and facing his host.

"About me swinging both ways."

"Why should I be? It's your life after all. Hell, if I can be gay, you can be bi, right? People are people, what difference should it make." Inside, however, he felt that his own chances with Kevin were fading rather quickly. It just figures, he thought. The first guy I meet in a long time that I find attractive, and funny, and smart, and he goes both ways. What chance do I have then when I gotta compete with not just other guys, but with women too?

Kevin, meanwhile, and unknown to Lance, was thinking along the same lines. Shit, first guy that comes along in forever that I kinda like and think is cute, and I bet that he really does care that I've been with girls as well as guys...and he's famous to boot. What chance do I have then when I gotta compete with any guy in the world that he wants?

Silence fell over the room for a minute as both young men pondered the conversation and their own private fears. Lance turned his head towards the television, and noticed the cabinet next to it which held at least three dozen or so video tapes. Gotta change the subject Bass....

"Wow, you guys sure have a ton of movies."

Thank God he's changing the subject, Kevin thought. "Yeah, we're both movie fanatics. There's a ton more upstairs. Did you want to watch something? You mentioned earlier that you and your friends were gonna rent some flicks and get something to eat...well, I fed you, so why not pick out something and the night will be complete." Kevin finished with a smile and a tilt of his head.

Lance got off the couch and took the four or five steps to the cabinet, and began to look over the titles. He noticed that most of them reflected what Kevin and Eric were studying in school, as they dealt with some sort of legal drama or were historic in nature. He took one off the shelf and read the back of it. "Stalag 17....never saw it. Any good?"

"Yeah." Kevin had also stood up and moved over to his friend. "You know the old show 'Hogan's Heroes'? This is the movie it's based on. It's really good. Wanna watch it?"

Lance straightened up and turned, facing Kevin. "Sure, let me use the bathroom real quick though, gotta get rid of that beer." His comments were punctuated with a sheepish grin.

Kevin turned on the set and the VCR as Lance excused himself, and put in the tape. Then, grabbing the remote, he sat back down on the couch, leaving enough room for another person. Okay, if he comes back and sits down next to me, everything is cool....if he takes the chair, I don't have a shot.

In the bathroom adjacent to the kitchen, Lance was washing his hands after relieving himself. Okay, if he's sitting on the couch when I go back in, it's all good...if he's in the chair, I don't have a chance. Shit, what if he's standing up? What if he's waiting for me to decide where to sit?

He looked up at himself in the mirror. "Get a grip on yourself Bass," he muttered quietly.

Walking back into the living room, he saw that Kevin was indeed on the couch, and that there was plenty of room in which to join him.

Kevin smiled.

Lance smiled back, took a deep breath, and sat next to him on the couch.

"Ready?" Kevin aimed the remote and was about to push the play button.

"Listen, Kev...is it okay if I call you that?"

"Sure, all my friends do."

"I just wanted to say....well...I'm totally okay with you being bi. I think it's cool." Might as well put it all on one throw, he figured.

"Thanks. It's kind of a touchy issue, you know? It's like I'm a minority within a minority or something. But it's not like I can't make up my mind or anything like that. When I'm seeing someone, regardless of their gender, I put my whole heart and soul into it." Kevin silently prayed that Lance would take the hint.

They smiled at each other, and Kevin pushed play.

Sometime during the course of the movie, Lance had fallen asleep. Whether it was because the movie wasn't to his liking, or perhaps it had just been a long day, Kevin didn't know. What he did know, is that while sleeping, his body had shifted closer to his own. Eventually, Lance's head was resting on his shoulder.

Kevin had unconsciously placed an arm around his sleeping companion, and was gently stroking his back. This went on for several minutes before he realized he was even doing it. Force of habit. Just about everyone he went out with, male or female, had fallen asleep on him at some point, usually while watching a movie or some tv show, and this was his natural reaction. He looked down at Lance and smiled. He could see the steady rising and falling of his chest, the slight parting of his lips, the facial features that were now relaxed.

Finally, the ending credits began to roll, and Kevin looked over to their clock. It was now well past midnight.

"Lance? Lance?" Kevin asked softly, while nudging him.

"Mmmm?" was all that he got in reply.

"Lance, the tape is over and it's late. Do you wanna crash on our couch?"

"Mmmm-hmmm"

"Okay buddy, let me up."

Kevin gently pried himself up and off the couch, as Lance stretched out on it. He reached over to the recliner and took an afghan that was folded over its back, and placed it over his sleeping friend. Then, he knelt down next to the couch and whispered: "Night buddy...I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Okay" Lance muttered sleepily.

Kevin turned off the tv and the light, and made his way to the stairs. As he began to walk them, he stopped. Turning around, he took one last look at the young man that was now fast asleep on his couch, bathed in the moonlight from the widows of the living room. He smiled when he saw this, and the words to a song from many years past began to creep into his head. Turning back around and walking up to his room, he sang them quietly:

"Something tells me I'm into something good...."

Saturday morning.

Lance stirred a bit and squinted as sunlight streamed in and hit him in the face, causing brightness to appear even though his eyes were closed. He also swore he could smell coffee brewing. Sitting up, he pushed back the afghan that covered him and stretched, working the kinks out of his neck at the same time.

"I hope the sun didn't bother you too much. I probably should have closed the blinds when I came downstairs."

Lance turned in the direction of the voice, and saw Eric in the kitchen, pouring coffee into a bright blue mug. "Morning, Lancelot. You sleep okay?"

"Yeah, thanks. Good morning to you too. This couch is pretty comfy." He stood up and walked into the kitchen to join Eric, who held out the coffee mug to him.

"Cream and sugar?"

"Just cream. What time is it?"

"A little after eight," Eric said while opening the refrigerator. He pulled out a carton of creamer and handed it to Lance, then reached back inside for a package of bagels and a container of cream cheese. "I have to be at work at nine, otherwise I'd probably still be in bed. Kevin's up already too, working on that paper of his. Stupid topic. I told him to take the Civil War, but oh, no, he just had to take that course on diplomatic history."

Lance was pouring creamer into his mug, and made a face as he heard the name of the class. "Sounds painful."

Eric sliced a bagel and put the halves into the toaster. "Want one?"

"No thanks, I'm good with the coffee for right now. I might grab something later though."

"So," Eric began, as he leaned on the counter, "did you guys have a good time last night?"

"We talked some, started to watch a movie, and I zoned out. I think I fell asleep on him, too. I guess I was really beat." Lance paused as he took a sip of his coffee. "Eric, how did you know?"

"Know what?" Eric's attention was back at his bagel, which he was now smearing with cream cheese.

"How did you know I was gay?"

"Oh...that." He grabbed his plate and coffee mug and sat down at the kitchen table, indicating with a motion of his hand for Lance to join him. "I didn't really. I just guessed. Turns out I guessed correctly, huh?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I suppose you did."

"You're not upset with me or anything, are you?" Eric said through a mouthful of bagel.

"No, no I'm not upset. It's that...am I that obvious? I mean, other than the guys, and I guess you two now, no one else knows. I mean, there are always rumors, but for the most part, the majority of the world thinks I'm your typical heterosexual guy. What tipped you off?"

Eric put down the bagel half he was munching on. "Well," he began, " you asked me if we were gay. Now, like I said before, others have asked us that. I guess that's what happens when two guys are partners in crime like Kev and I are. But it was the way you asked me that got my wheels turning."

"The way I asked?"

"Yeah, you sounded....I don't know....hopeful, maybe? And when I told you that I was straight, I purposefully made no mention of Kev, and your expression didn't change a bit. Now, if I had told you that we both were, I'm guessing you would have looked heartbroken, am I right?"

Lance looked down into his mug. "Maybe."

Eric chuckled as he took a drink. "Maybe. Listen to you. I saw the way you looked at our boy. Who couldn't resist those chiseled looks, the bulging biceps, the broad pecs..."

"Okay, enough," Lance laughed. "I give! Yes, I was asking because I wanted to know about the two of you and more specifically, about Kev."

"What do you think?" Eric was now finishing off half of the bagel.

"About what?" Lance replied, a bit confused.

"About Kevin."

"What do you mean?" He was genuinely perplexed now.

Eric sighed and felt like he was in grade school again. "Do you like him, think he's cute, want to rip off his clothes and throw him down on the ground and have your way with him? I'll pass him a note in study hall if you want me to."

Lance blushed and laughed. "Yes, to most of the first part of your questions, and no to the second one. I can pass my own notes. Don't want to get you in trouble and have you stay after school."

Eric joined in the laughter. "Did you tell him you're attracted to him?"

"No." Lance was looking back down at his coffee again.

"Why not? Listen, mind taking some advice?"

Lance looked back up. "Yeah, sure."

"If you want this to happen Lancelot, and I think you do, and I'm almost certain Kevin does, you're gonna have to make the first move. Ask him out or something."

"Man," Lance groaned. "Why did I know you were gonna say that. I suck at this kind of thing. Do you have any idea how hard it is to date when you live the life I do?"

"No, but I can imagine. It must be rough. But I don't think Kev is going to take that first step. The last relationship he was in....well....let's just say it ended badly."

"Why? What happened?"

Eric looked at his watch and stood up. "Sorry, you're gonna have to let Kev tell you about that one. Roommate code of silence and all. Look, I need to get going, but don't be afraid. Talk to him. Here, go upstairs and give him the rest of this." He pushed the plate with the other bagel half in front of Lance. "He'll need something in his system if he's going to finish up that boring shit."

Walking over to the counter, Eric grabbed his keys and began making his way to the front door. Lance, who had stood up from the table and had the plate in hand, was following him.

"I'll see you later on, okay? Good luck."

"Later on?" Lance asked. "You seem pretty certain that I'll be around."

"I have a feeling, and I haven't been wrong yet. Later on, Lancelot." With that, Eric gave a wide smile to his friend and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

Well, Lance thought as he looked down at the bagel, if the way to a man's heart is really through his stomach...

He walked up the stairs, and rounded the corner that led to Kevin's room. The door was slightly ajar, and he pushed it open slowly with his foot, while knocking quietly. "Kevin?"

Kevin was sitting at his desk, typing away on his computer. Occasionally, he glanced over to some hand made notes, and this allowed Lance to see the gold-rimmed, round glasses that sat on the bridge of his nose. He also noticed that Kevin was only wearing a pair of shorts, no top. He saw the muscles of his shoulders and back flex as he moved or typed, and the small tattoo of an eagle that was drawn on the left shoulder blade. He was wearing headphones, and while Lance couldn't make out the song he was listening to, it undoubtedly explained why any of the conversation he had with Eric did not draw his attention. Tiptoeing over, Lance took the bagel off of the plate, and slowly moved his hand around to the front of Kevin's face.

Kevin, who was engrossed by his typing, saw the bagel out of the corner of his eye. Yet, he was so preoccupied, that it did not register that a bagel with cream cheese spread on it was approaching his face. As it neared his lips, he opened his mouth and took a bite, chewing and swallowing it down.

Wait a minute. A bagel?

He spun around quickly, taking off his headphones in the process, and saw Lance, grinning from ear to ear with the food in his hand.

"Hey there, good morning," Lance said.