Disclaimer: this work is fiction. I do not know, have never met, or have any knowledge of any celebrity mentioned, nor do I know their sexuality, or have any idea about their private lives.
Mike's Goodbye
He stands over me, watching. Like a guardian angel, hoping that I show some sign of life. I haven't now for three days, but he hasn't given up hope, shame I never will, his faith is so fragile right now.
I pray for death.
When you're in a coma you hear everything, the doctors told Danny that I probably couldn't, but he talks to me all the same. I hear his prayers to god, wishing me to be all right, or to not let me feel pain - which I don't. My body is just a shell full of broken pieces, my pelvis shattered, ribs cracked, legs broken, skull fractured. Only a matter of time before my mind tells my body to give in.
Hooked to machines that prolong my life, a life that shouldn't be. I had already died once, in the ambulance, on the way to the hospital, for a little over four minutes I was officially deceased.
It should of ended there.
Danny takes my right hand in both of his and lowers his forehead and holds my hand to it, I feel his touch ever so slightly, almost as if he was trying to give me some of his strength to go on.
Oh, sweet, Danny.
He sobs slightly. Any minute now the doctor was going to come in and he would ask Danny for his answer. Danny asks me.
"What should I do?" he quietly sobs, gripping my hand for all he was worth.
Do it. But he'll never hear.
THREE DAYS AGO.
I whistle along to a Metallica song as I pull a blue t-shirt that Danny had bought me the other day over my head, I was set to meet him in about fifteen minutes and had just had a quick wash, the t-shirt was the last thing I had to do before I went. Switching off the hi-fi, I hurry to the door, stuffing my wallet and keys into separate pockets as I do, and start my steady walk to our agreed meeting place. He had something to tell me, and I wanted to hear it, well actually I didn't care, I just wanted to see him.
My Danny.
It wasn't sunny but the day was still warm, and the streets were nearly empty. The Metallica song kept me on a continuous loop of whistling to just one part of the song. I never usually whistled at all, but I was happy now see, before Danny there was nothing, now it seemed like my life had purpose.
Funny now thinking back just how cruel fate can be.
I had met Danny only five months ago. Won a competition on the radio, answered some easy question and I was on my way to meet McFly. Well watch their gig first, then meet the band afterwards. The set had been great, but meeting the band was excellent. Paying most of my attention to Tom, `cause I have this thing for him see, word of advice, don't meet your crushes, they usually aren't the same people you think you like them for in your fantasies, but anyways. Paying close attention to Tom, and pretty much ignoring the rest of them for the fist fifteen minutes of the meet, but then I'd got bored of him, and it was Danny who'd caught my attention.
The slight glances, laughing at some of the things I said, etc. and suddenly it was a whole different situation. For the best part of three hours just me and him chatted as the others went off to do whatever, talked about most things, then it was time to go. Fair enough. Except he hadn't let me go empty handed, he quickly scribbled down his E-mail address and told me to write him soon, which I did, and we chatted on line and exchanged mail for nearly a month until we met up again.
Only this time when we met, Danny did something I really didn't expect. A kiss, a quick kiss, but a perfect one. My body felt on fire and I knew from that moment that I wanted him, and not just in lust, dare I say the word: love. We'd steadily dated from then on, meeting about twice a week or whenever we could, always keeping out of the public however, he did have an image and a career to look out for.
And that brings us back to now, as I walked to meet him on another of our secret rendezvous.
I heard something behind me, tyres screech, a scream...pain! But then it was gone, I couldn't feel nothing, sight was a bit out for my glasses had been knocked off, but I couldn't feel nothing from the chest down. Probably something to do with that Range Rover sandwiching me between it and the wall behind me.
The screams echoed in my mind, some woman. Then I saw Danny stood just down the road, walking slowly towards the scene, slowly, ever so slowly. When he finally arrived at the side of the car he reached over for my right hand, which I had trouble moving towards him, his touch was soft, if only I'd known how hard he was squeezing?
"Mike?" he said, the tears welling behind his eyes, his grip tightening on my hand.
"Might not be able to make that meeting, Danny," I said, trying with everything I had not to think about my body, my voice shallow and weak, it took a lot to speak. Danny let out a small laugh, purely for my benefit, "Guess we can always rearrange it for some other time..." he said, but I was already beginning to think about the fact that they wasn't going to be another time.
"I lo...I love..." I nearly said it, but it was hard to talk, the amount of strength it took was exhausting.
"I know," he said, not needing me to finish. "But you're not saying goodbye to me yet," he said determined. I so wanted to believe him.
The sirens were coming into the area now, just a few more seconds and they'd be here. But I could already feel my body slipping away, into the warmth, but there was one thing I needed to say before I let myself slip away...
"Danny...promise me..." I took a deep breath. "Promise me..." He looked at me intently, "Anything." he said.
"Be happy," I said, he burst into tears as I started to slump.
"Mike? MIKE?" he yelled at me as the ambulance pulled up and the paramedics jumped from it and to my side. "Don't leave me," he said finally, one of the ambulance crew moving him away, tears flowing down his face.
I fade away.
Regaining feeling in the back of the ambulance, but everything was dark, forever darkness, yet I could hear everything, even the paramedic say:
"We got a pulse, here," he says to the woman who was also in the back with us, "You're not dying today," he said pointing the comment at me.
"How long was he gone?" the female paramedic asks him. He checks his watch. "Four minutes."
We arrived at the hospital shortly after, I slip in and out of what I could call consciousness, but it wasn't, I felt, well, dead. Out of it. But I wasn't dead either. It's a hard feeling to describe, when you're not dead, but not alive either.
Upon the next time I could hear again, my body I couldn't move, my eyes I couldn't open, I was just stuck, forced to listen. And the doctor as if hearing my thoughts, told the stunned Danny who stood in the room listening to him whilst holding my hand, that I was comatose. He told Danny that I'd probably never regain consciousness again, that I was alive purely because a machine was keeping me that way. Essentially, my life was over. And that's how it has been for the last three days. Listening to other peoples conversations over my body, stuck in never ending darkness and knowing, yes by now I knew, that I was never going to wake back up.
PRESENT.
The doctor had come into the room and stood behind Danny, he does that annoying fake cough to make Danny turn around, and...
"Have you made your decision, sir?" he asks Danny.
The moment of truth.
"Turn them off," he spoke quietly. "Can I have a few more minutes alone with him before you do?" he asks the doctor who nods his approval.
"Just let me know when you're ready." he leaves.
"So I guess this is it," Danny speaks softly, taking his time to speak his mind, one last time. "Never thought it'd be so soon. I hope I made the right choice?"
You have Danny, there's nothing to be scared of.
"Christ, this is hard," he says, holding back the tears.
Be strong, you're saving me. Be brave.
"I wish we'd have had more time together. Time enough for me to show you how much I cared for you."
You've shown me now, you're releasing me, I know you care.
"I wish I'd have given you a little more attention, told you that I loved you and that you're special. `Cause you are, and I should've told you." he strokes my hand, the softest of touches. "I'll always remember what I promised you, to be happy. To never let anyone get me down. To be adventurous and find things out my own way. I just wish you could be here to be by my side."
I'll always watch over you.
"'Cause I really need you here," the tears flow freely down his face. "I hope to god you were never in pain, `cause you never deserved that. Mike...I just want you to know that...well...I just want you to know that I love you. Be free."
Thank you, Danny. I love you too.
He lets go of my hand and leaves the room, returning a few seconds later with the doctor and some other medical type person. Danny nods his head at the doctor who begins switching off machines. Finally he reaches the last switch, the life-support-unit, and then he turns that off too. I feel myself breakaway from my body, the warmth flowing through me. I stop and look at Danny. The doctor wait's a few seconds before he puts his stethoscope to my chest, then to another point on my chest. Finally, he moves away and looks at his watch...
"Time of death: 10:53p.m." he looks over at Danny. "I'll give you a couple of minutes alone," he says as he leads the way, the other medic leaving right behind.
Danny leans over the bed, putting his head on my chest and breathes in deeply, then begins to heave his body as he sobs, his sobs loud and echo in the room.
I finally leave, hoping that Danny will go find happiness after he says his final farewell to me, and hope he won't grieve my death too bad. I love you, Danny. You set me free. Be happy, forever.
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