Category Recommendations: Gay Male, Relationships
Thanks for reading my first story on Nifty. This will be a three-part story with the sex starting in part 2. Hopefully the wait is worth it.
Later parts will also feature humiliation (including the f***** word) and urination, so if those aren't your things, maybe look elsewhere.
Please know that everything that happens in this story is consensual. Towards the end of part 1 there is a scene where the narrator collapses after a meal and because of context, some readers may be tempted to think that he was drugged in some way. I can assure you that this is not the case: the fall is a result of the news he has just received and all of his actions in the story are completely willing.
Enjoy!
Before that day, it had been over a year since I'd seen Luis. We'd met on Scruff, dated for about two years, and then he told me he was moving away and that we couldn't be together anymore. I was devastated of course, but not surprised. When I say we dated for two years, I'm skipping over a lot of periods of us taking "breaks" from our relationship, him questioning whether he was ready to commit to anyone, and all that noise. Rather than bore you with details, just know that I was completely in love with him the whole time and probably a big part of that was because even when he was being difficult and distant, he still had a knack for drawing be back at the last minute. I'd send him a text saying something like "missing you, handsome" and not hear back for two days. Just when I was ready to cut him off, he'd FaceTime me, and even just seeing his picture pop up on my phone softened me. I'd pick up and he'd say "How's my babe?" and immediately I just wanted to be his.
You may not have ever felt like that about someone in your life, in which case this story won't make much sense. But if you have, then I bet you know what I'm talking about. I'm a reasonably confident, successful person in my day to day life. I have friends, a good job, and supportive family. But something about Luis has always made me willing to throw away all my morals and rules just for the chance to be with him. Of course he's incredibly handsome. A psychologist would probably say that my attraction comes from the fact that Luis's face happens to be especially masculine, with a lot of features that give him a paternal quality I find especially sexy. His face has a strong, rectangular shape with an impressive jawline. He has a dark black beard with a few areas of gray on his chin, and soft, full lips. He's an amazing kisser. A lot of this has to do with his confidence too: when I first met him, often I'd tell him how handsome he was and he'd just smile at me and say "I know," then kiss me and put his arm around me. It drove me wild.
The other thing you should know is that Luis is an ingenious liar and incredibly self-centered. You wouldn't realize this if you were to meet him. He has a kind demeanor, is a good listener, and asks questions that show he's interested in what you have to say. In my case, he made promise after promise of how he was working hard to solve his personal problems so that he could be a good boyfriend to me, how I was the most important person in the world to him, how he wanted to marry me someday. Even when he needed "space" from our relationship, he assured me that he still loved me and thought of me all the time. He promised me he wasn't looking for anyone else. One time over Christmas vacation he went on a multi-city trip to see old friends and told me that he needed us to take a break from being in touch so he could focus on rebuilding these old friendships. It was hard for me: he even told me that some of these friends in cities like Denver, Seattle, and Portland were past hook-ups, but that he had no interest in having a romantic or sexual relationship with them. Still, I agreed, telling myself that when you really love someone you have to give them space when they ask for it. I remember him posting pictures of himself with some of these people on Instagram, with captions about how great it was to reconnect. The guy in Portland was a handsome blond who smiled at him in a way that made me uncomfortable. Still, I trusted him.
Anyway, like I said, eventually Luis decided that he needed a change and told me that he needed to move to the West Coast so he could "work on himself" while he took a year-long break from dating. It broke my heart, but there was nothing I could say to stop him. Again, I told myself that my only hope of getting to be with him in the future was to let him go. Before he left I told him how deep my feelings were for him and that I'd be waiting if he was ever ready to come back. We had great sex. Then he was gone.
Obviously it was a difficult time for me, especially since none of my friends seemed to understand why I would wait for someone who gave me no assurances. Still, I felt noble and brave, and even special, since I loved someone so deeply.
That all came crashing down about six months ago when I checked his Instagram to see how he was doing. At first I thought he hadn't updated it since the picture with the blond guy in Portland. Then I realized I was looking at a new picture of the two of them. They were looking into each other's eyes and Luis had his hand on the other guy's cheek. There was no mistaking the love they felt for each other. And if there was still any doubt, Luis had captioned the picture "Better halvesÉ." With a heart emoji. My heart broke, instantly. Six months after he'd told me he was going to not date for a year, he'd found his better half? And he, who had always been closeted from his family, was even willing to post pictures of them online? He'd never once acknowledged his relationship with me on social media. I cried for days but didn't tell a soul. No one had ever understood my feelings for him anyway, always saying I "deserved better." And you know what? Even while I was bawling my eyes out, I still wanted him. I still believed he was the best man around.
Another six months or so passed. I felt better eventually, though mostly because I got better at not thinking about it. The one time I texted him to ask if we could talk, he ignored me. So in the absence of any further information on what had happened, I just tried to focus on other things. After a while I convinced myself that I was moving on. People told me I was looking good these days, that it seemed like things were going well for me.
Then a couple of weeks ago, Luis texted me out of the blue. He was coming back to town for a few nights for a work thing, did I want to get together? I thought, why not? I've moved on, what's the harm in having dinner with someone I haven't seen in a while? He'll see how well I'm doing, we'll catch up, and when I walk out the door he'll do one of two things: (1) regret leaving me and realize what a jerk he is and how he blew his last chance with me, or (2) go back to his hotel room, call his new boyfriend, and never think about me again. What did I care? I didn't need him either way.
I responded, and we set up the dinner. It seemed easiest to go to the restaurant at his hotel, so I met him in the lobby at 7:30. I put a little extra care into the way I dressed but nothing crazy, I just chose clothes that didn't hide what good shape I was in. He was dressed pretty simply, just black khakis and a blue polo shirt with the top button undone. We hugged and smiled, I said it was good to see him. Sure, I recognized that he was still handsome, but I thought, so what? There's plenty of handsome guys in the world. This one's gonna buy me dinner and then I'll leave and never think about him again.
Dinner was fine, he told me about his job, which was just ok but he was satisfied with it for now. We asked about each other's families. We talked about a couple of movies that had come out that I knew he would have seen. We laughed, it felt pretty easy. Towards the end he casually mentioned having gone on a trip with someone named Sven and before I could think about it I said, "is that your boyfriend?"
"Yeah," he said, "he's great."
It was those words that made me realize I wasn't on as solid footing as I'd thought. I felt my heart lurch when he said them. Still, I was sure he hadn't noticed anything. I felt that I was calm and collected on the outside. Actually, I felt confident enough to ask lightly, "how did you guys meet?"
"Through friends," he said. "Our friend Adam invited us both to his birthday party a few months ago. Adam kept telling me how much I'd like him but I thought, nah, those things never work out. But then we started talking and we ended up spending the whole night talking. He's awesome."
My brain, heart, and stomach were in turmoil. I'd lost track of the number of lies he'd just told me, then I realized that I was basing that on what he'd told me when we were together, so at least some of what he'd said then must have been a lie also. I kept control of myself and watched him happily finish his dessert, with no trace of guilt on his face. Silently I gave thanks that I could make my escape soon Ð the waiter brought the bill to our table but since Luis was staying at the hotel, all he had to do was write down his room number, sign it, and we were done. I tried to think of the quickest way I could get out of there without appearing upset.
"Well, that's really great," I said, "I'm happy things are going so well for you. I should probably head out, I think my parking meter runs out soon." I had taken a taxi, but the parking meter excuse had worked for me in the past.
"Sure," he said, "thanks for meeting me. You look great, too." I told myself all I had to do was stand up, give him a hug, tell him to take care, and leave. I stood up.
I immediately collapsed on the floor. It was like when you're dehydrated and you kneel to pick something up, and when you stand up the blood seems to rush from your head and you have to grab something to hold on to. Except I didn't, so I just fell on the ground and the next thing I knew Luis was kneeling next to me and the waiter was standing next to me asking if he should call 911. I couldn't speak for a few seconds. Then I started to recover and realized two things in quick succession: I wasn't hurt (except for my dignity) and Luis was holding my hand. My eyes went to his and he smiled, then he put his hand on my cheek. I smiled too and managed to say, "I'm fine, don't worry. Just stood up too fast." I must have been convincing enough, because the waiter shrugged and walked away. I stood up (slowly), mainly so that the other people in the restaurant would stop staring at me, and Luis put an arm around my waist.
"Bryan, you scared me," he said. "I don't want you driving right now, do you want to come up to my room?"
"No, I'm fine," I said, "just give me a minute and I'll be fine." Then I made a big mistake: I made eye contact with him again, trying to reassure him that I was ok. It was a mistake because Luis was looking at me in a way that only he has ever looked at me: with his features perfectly arranged and his eyes drawn together in a way that shows real concern and that told me undeniably that he still cared about me. And that was all it took, I feel in love with him again in that moment. Or, I suppose it would be more accurate to say in that moment I realized that I'd never stopped loving him.
I don't know whether he saw something change in me. He lowered his voice and said, "Come up to my room. Just for a few minutes. They never ticket around here anyway." And before I knew it he was leading me to the elevators. We didn't talk on the ride up. I had a lot running through my head but I had no idea what he was thinking, or what to say. He took me into his room and helped me sit on the edge of his bed, then he sat down next to me. He was still treating me the way a concerned friend would. He put a hand on my shoulder and asked, "Feeling any better? Do you want some water?"
"No thanks," I said, "I had plenty during dinner. I think it's just the weatherÉ" I don't know if it was the ridiculousness of that statement, but his demeanor started to change from that point. His hand started to caress my shoulder very gently. He leaned his forehead against mine for a moment. Then he lay back on the bed and said, "Come here, lay with me for a minute." It was so easy to shape my body into his again. He had his arm around me and guided my head to lay on his chest. I held on to him with my free arm. I felt completely, utterly, safe.