In the last almost two years I've learned some things about Bob and about me. I learned that Bob is a control freak, in a nice way and that I kinda like that. Well I guess that I always knew he was into control but I was surprised at how into that I got. Bob loves making decisions, he's great at it and I'm really happy to let him do it. Now it's not like he makes all the decisions and if I really object to something he'll change but it's kinda comforting having Bob take charge.
He took charge a little less than two years ago when we first became lovers. When we finally came down off of that hill after making love for the first time everything changed. The first thing we did was to go back to my house. I guess the way our world had changed was written on our faces because my dad took one look at us and came over and gave us both a hug. I wouldn't go so far as to say that Bob and my dad had set the whole thing up but it was something close to that. Bob had told me up on the hill that my mom and dad knew that I was gay.
"Oh fuck." Was the only thing I could think to say.
"I'm sorry babe but I had to tell your dad. He thought you were on crack or some shit like that." We were sitting on the ground and I was between Bob's legs with my back resting against his chest. "I begged him to let me handle it but he would only give me a week." He pulled me tight to him and kissed my neck. "Thank god you were a pushover." God I could get used to this. Even though the sex was over I could still feel Bob's cock as if it were still in me. It made me feel warm and loved. His arms were wrapped around me and the spring sun was warm on my face.
"You mean he knows about Dave and everything?"
"No hun I wouldn't tell your dad that he'd flip out. I just told him you were in love with some dude who didn't want any part of it and you were bummed out." He kissed my neck again. "He seemed to be able to deal with that even though he probably knows there's more to it. I told him that I loved you and was gonna tell you about me and then everything would be OK. It is OK isn't it? I mean your not having regrets are ya dude?" There was the cutest worried tone to his voice. "I mean this is kinda outta left field and all but Billy I've been in love with you for so long and it feels so right to me, so kinda meant to be."
"It feels right to me too Bob. I just wish we knew this a few years ago." I took his right hand and interlock the fingers of my left hand into it and then kissed it. "I didn't know that feelings like these existed. Dave was such a cold...well we never did this." Then I turned in his arms until I was facing him and straddling his lap. I kissed him deeply and he kissed me back. Oh those green eyes!
"Just tell me what you need me to do babe." He spoke softly to me. "I'm here for whatever you need. Don't think about him baby, it's like he never happened." He was stroking my hair and I could feel his chest tighten.
I put my mouth next to his ear and nuzzled the side of his face. "It feels so good when you touch me. He never really did and I need you to do that. I've felt so lonely. I mean it's like I never really had him, I mean he just used me and then that made it like I couldn't be near you either cause you might find out what I was doing and like I couldn't even be close to my mom and dad cause like maybe they'd read my mind or some shit." I was beginning to choke up. "I've just felt like I didn't really have anyone." He tightened his grip on me and I just buried my face in his neck. He smelled so good, so clean and so him.
Bob has got really big hands and for the next few weeks they were hardly ever not touching me in some way. No matter where we were Bob would find some way of making physical contact with me. I felt like an old sponge that had dried up and now was being loaded with water again, my soul seemed to expand as my love for Bob grew. Whenever he wasn't there I would feel a sense of panic but then there he would be by my side secretly palming my ass in his hand or just putting his arm around my shoulder.
That first night after we had talked to my dad we went to Bob's house. His parents were out of town but it wouldn't have mattered the house was laid out with a big master bedroom suite at one side of the house and three other bedrooms on the other. Now that Bob's sister and brother were gone that wing of the house was occupied only by him.
It felt so wonderful and strange to be walking around Bob's bedroom naked. Of course I had seen him naked before but now that cock had been in me, those arms had held me and those lips had kissed me. We had gone from being friends to being lovers and I felt totally goofy. My emotion were going crazy, one minute I wanted to laugh and the next minute tears were coming to my eyes. I know that this sounds screwy but there seemed to be this kinda golden glow around everything. We had been messing around a bit and then started to get into bed and Bob took off his watch and sat it on the nightstand and I thought how many times in our life together will I see him do that simple thing. Will God really let me watch forever how the muscles in his back work as he bends over slightly and places his watch on the night stand or the way he ducks his head and touches his forehead when he's feeling a little shy or is this going to be jerked away from me because I don't deserve it. What deal do I have to make with the gods to keep this beautiful, kind, loving man. When we finally slide naked under the cool sheets together and the sheer eroticism of the moment brought tears to my eyes and he wraps me in his arms and tells me we don't have to do anything if I don't want to even though I know he's so horny he could be drilling for oil with that dick. Well there's no way that I'm going to pass up this moment and I take things in hand and guide him into me. When we make love he is so gentle so concerned that he might hurt me. There's something about a physically powerful guy being gentle that is an incredible turn on, knowing that he was strong enough to do anything to me he wanted to do but was concerned enough to be gentle. And then when we finally turned to sleep he would spoon me from behind wrapping me in his arms and his cock would still be half hard and pressed against my butt. I can't tell you how much sleep we've lost because of that position.
We had just finished our first night of sleeping together. Well actually we had slept together before but never as boyfriends and with sex. Bob's bedroom has a southern exposure and is very bright in the morning so I got a really good chance to watch him sleep. This is one of my favorite times when there's no rush to go do something and the phone isn't ringing and I can just stare at him and touch his hair. It isn't often when you can just stare closely at someone and I was looking at how his dark brown hair was laying across his forehead and how strong his jawline was when he rolled over on his side and buried his face in the crook of my neck and started mumbling about getting up. He had thrown his right arm around me and pulled me into his body kinda pivoting me until we were spooning again. Because he's a lot bigger than me it's kinda like he envelopes me and I can feel a hard dick poking my butt and as he stretches his legs out he shoves his dick even harder towards me and I grab it and guide it in. He feels right away that he's in me and and just says, "Oh babe." There isn't much lube left from last night and I try to keep him from just ramming it in cause he's really not awake yet and is just kinda doing what comes naturally. He's filling me up quickly and starting to be more and more aware of what he's doing and he begins rubbing his hands over my shoulders and arms. This is the third time that we've made love and for the third time when his cock is about a third of the way in me I shoot and I say, "Bob I'm gonna shoot." And he says, "Yeah babe!" And he catches my cum in his hand and smears it over my cock and balls and start slowly jacking me to cum again with him. Now I know that this is not totally unusual cause I've talked to a few other guys on the web that have had this happen but now after almost two years it still happens most of the time. Bob by the way loves this and when it happens I can feel him go into overdrive. I've thought a lot about why this happens, because for one thing it only happened twice with Dave in three years, and happens almost all the time with Bob. Well of course I love Bob and surely that's a big part of it but there are some other things that I kinda isolated as causes for this. Trust is a big part of it and it's easy to trust Bob. He's one of those people that simply never lie, he may dance around and do about anything not to answer a question but he never lies and never did even when we were little kids. Another thing that wouldn't seem to be a turnon seems somehow to be one and that is that Bob respects people. My dad finally gave up after about ten years of trying to get Bob to call him by his first name instead of saying "Sir". Bob treats all older people like they're his parents, even a lot of times when I don't think they deserve it. These are trust and respect issues and I think that when you love someone to begin with and then also trust and respect them it makes it possible to be totally open to sexual attraction. I've already said that Bob is attractive and sexy and has a great cock but there are two other really compelling qualities; he is very confident that he knows what should be done at any given moment and he has this unbelievably sexy voice. When he pulls me to him and says "Babe I need you." It sends vibrations exploding into my brain and then making a fast trip to my cock. Now usually after I shoot the first time I go a little soft and then get hard again so that by the time Bob is ready to cum I'm usually ready to cum again too.
Well I'm not really sure how I got started on all this descriptive sex stuff. Bob'll be mad when he reads it, well not really mad, he's just a really kinda private guy.
We goofed around most of that morning, breakfast at Denny's, playing footsie under that table, stuff like that. Later we met Bob's brother Mark for lunch.
Like I said in My Confession Part 1 Bob's brother Mark is stud city. He's ten years older than Bob and works for their Dad. Actually I guess Mark pretty much runs the office because their dad is almost never there. Mark and his wife are the only ones in Bob's family that know he's gay and they're both cool about it. Mark just said to me, "Well Bill you were practically a member of the family already." Then to the both of us, "I hope I don't have to give you guys lectures about playing safe." We both assured him that that base was totally covered cause we were just with each other and it was like a real couple thing. I think it was at this meeting with Mark that we also brought up the college thing, Bob had already signed up to go to the University of Wisconsin at Madison and I had decided to go to the local branch, well not local but much closer. Well now that we were lovers that was all out the window and there was no way that I wasn't going to Madison with Bob, anyway I think it was then that we asked Mark to help us with the paperwork and he got it done. Mark is a totally sweet guy and if that's what Bob is going to look like in ten years woof !!
Well the next couple of weeks were pure bliss, some of the happiest days of my life. Both of us were still working and we had high school graduation coming up but we still managed to sleep together two or three nights a week and I think we had sex everyday. By this time we were deeply in love and I was soooo happy.
I don't know why I didn't see it coming but I didn't it never occurred to me as a possibility that I would ever hear from Dave again. My new relationship with Bob and especially as it was overlaid onto our old friendship just made what had happened with Dave seem to be a million years ago. It happened on a Friday afternoon, Bob and I were at my house, my mom and dad were out for shopping and then were going to dinner, we were sitting on the sofa just kinda lightly kissing and stuff when the phone rang. I reached over and grabbed the phone and of course said hello.
"Hey Billy, you still needin to get fucked?" It was Dave.
I remember shouting something and holding the phone away from me and I remember Bob coming up off of the sofa. I think that I was standing next to the table with the phone on it and I remember Bob looking like I'd never seen him before and somewhere in my mind I thought that this is what he must look like when he plays football. He seemed to get bigger and had this terrible look on his face. In that instant I guess I thought that Bob was mad at me for the whole Dave thing and bringing him into our lives and all and I felt really scared because he looked so mad. I don't remember what he said when he grabbed the phone from me. I must have shut down because I felt myself falling but like in slow motion and these big white flashes in my brain and I could feel myself crying and I could hear Bob screaming and yelling swear words which is really strange because he doesn't do that hardly ever I mean I swear all the time but he doesn't but I can hear him swearing now but not at me so it must be at Dave but it doesn't matter because while I'm crying nonstop in my mind I'm just floating down like in deep dark water but it's not scary it's actually kinda peaceful and I just hear the yelling in the distance but it doesn't really matter because I'm in this peaceful dark place and I don't ever want to go back I just want to rest. But someone is pulling me back and I suppose it has to be Bob but I can't really tell but I know that I'm still crying and while that's something I know it seems odd because it's like only my body that's doing that not really me. I can hear Bob calling me but I just can't go back there not yet I'm just not ready for that so I just float. It's strange because I can hear Bob freaking out but it's not in a way really happening but then I feel Bob lifting me and carrying me and somehow I know that my body is curled up into this little ball and I can feel my tears running down my legs and I know Bob is talking to me but it doesn't matter because I'm not ready yet and then everything is very quiet, quiet and warm and I can feel Bob holding me and just whispering, "It's ok baby it's ok." And then I start coming back and I realize that we're in my bedroom and I feel like a total jackoff for going nuts like that but it's just that I never expected to hear Dave's voice again and I had forgotten how sleazy he could be and it just made me feel really dirty and I felt in this totally illogical way that maybe Dave could come and get me and make me have sex with him that he somehow still owned me and could use me anytime he wanted to and it just overloaded my circuits. One of the huge differences between my time with Dave and my life with Bob, is that sex with Bob isn't dirty, it's sexy and hot and fun and often messy but I never feel like I'm less a human with Bob. Bob always makes me feel like a better person for being with him.
Well after that Bob became even more protective of me and even came up with some lame ass excuse to drive me to and from work. Well I didn't like that on one level but on another level well I guess I did liked it. When we would walk around the mall it was like he was my bodyguard he was always watching I guess for Dave or someone like Dave. Good thing nobody ever tried to grab me he would have killed them. During this time Bob and my dad became even closer. I didn't realize it at the time but he was slowly telling my dad the truth about what had happened to me or at least a relatively palatable version of it and in turn my dad was vesting even more trust in Bob. I guess they were both afraid for me and Bob made it a fulltime project to protect me. I also noticed that Bob had started to stay in constant physical contact with me, he'd be rubbing my back or touching my hair. Even when I'd be falling asleep I could feel Bob running his fingers lightly over my face and hair.
In August of that year our real life as a couple began when we started sharing a room at college. I think we both felt and still feel like a married couple. The next year, we got an apartment off campus and it is really unbelievable our first real home together where we can walk around naked all day long if we want and I want.
Thanks to everyone who emailed me. I appreciate them all.
I love you Bob and will always be yours.