Disclaimer: If you are under 18 or do not want to view material that involves gay sex, then read no further. I make no claims that the members of 'NSYNC are gay, especially Lance Bass, however, one can always dream.
This is my first piece of fan fiction. Please send me any feedback and comments. I will also like to know what you think should happen next in this story. THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION-- at least that is what I will tell you-- e-mail any comments or suggestions to LanceFan2001@aol.com
My Lance Part 2
Lance disappeared into the bathroom and came out carrying out two aspirins and a glass of water. He offered them to me and I took them.
"So Lance, what do you do? Are you here on a vacation or something?" I inquired.
"Well, I sing and stuff. Kauai is one of my favorite places to be. I beaches are amazing, the scenery is so tranquil. It is a great place to come and relax," he replied. "But that's enough about me. Tell me about you. What do you do? What's your family like?"
"I work for my own business. I design WebPages. I find that I can do that at night, and that during the day, I can surf, go hiking, do stuff that I missed out on during my childhood. I was born and raised on these islands, and well, me and my parents have never really got along too well. They don't really talk to me much anymore," I said as my eyes started to tear up.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up such a sensitive subject," Lance said.
"That's o-kay. I have learned to cope. I have a lot of great friends that helped me through the hard times that I had. It's because of them-- anyway," I said, trying to change the subject.
"I hear you. Me and my buds, we are tight. We do everything together, but sometimes you just have to get away. It can be just so-- so-- AARRRGH!"
"I know what you mean Lance. I really know what you mean."
The phone rang, and Lance excused himself to go get it.
"Hello," he says into the receiver. "Hey guys-- Oh, you guys are coming down?-- when?-- That's cool-- So I'll see you guys later-- Bye."
"Who was that?" I asked.
"Oh, those were my buds," Lance said, "They decided that they want to come down to Kauai tomorrow."
"Cool," I replied.
"Ya, I guess," he said.
"Lance, are you o-kay?"
"It's just that I wanted to spend some time alone. We hang around all the time, and I really wanted to go off on my own. Sometimes--" he deep voice trailed off, "Sometimes, I just want to be by myself."
"Well if you want, I can leave," I offered.
"No. Please stay. I just don't want to be with them right now. Sometimes it feels like they are the only people who I know. It's just scary sometimes. They are great guys, don't get me wrong, I love those guys, but well I want to meet other people too. 'Expand my horizons' as they say."
"I get you," I replied, "If you ever want to talk about it--"
"Thanks, anyway, tell me about this restaurant you're taking me to," he said.
"It's called the Green Garden Restaurant. It's this small restaurant on the roadside. Inside there are private rooms. Oh, did I mention that it's Japanese food?"
"It sounds pretty cool, just as long as I don't have to eat any raw fish.
I've never had sushi before," he said, chuckling.
"Lance, Lance, Lance, sushi is vinegar-seasoned rice wrapped in seaweed. Sashimi is raw fish, and those are two items that will definitely be on the menu tonight." I said trying to hide my giggles as Lance made these really strange faces.
"Oh ya mister, well take that," he said as he tossed a pillow in my direction.
As the ice pack dropped and I jumped to escape the pillow, I called out, "This means war."
I tackled Lance onto the couch behind him, and launch into a fury of tickling. Lance continued his assault with the pillows, and I continue tickling him. We roll onto the ground both of us just laughing. All of a sudden, as we gaze into each other's eyes, we stop. Within Lances big green eyes, I see passion building. There is a whole world in those eyes. But at the same time, I see something else there. I can see a little bit of pain.
As I stared into Lance's eyes, I didn't realize that he had closed the gap between us. He drew his lips close to mine, and we kissed in our snug embrace. I slowly ran my hand up and down his back, feeling his strong back.
Lance broke the kiss. "I'm sorry," he said.
"What for?"
"I really shouldn't be doing this."
"Why? It feels right to me," I said.
"It's just-- Oh, I don't know. I'm sorry," Lance said as he stood up.
"What's wrong Lance?" I asked.
"It's just that-- It's just that it's been a long time since I've had these types of feelings. I thought I knew who I was, but it's like I really don't know anything anymore," Lance said as he sat down on the couch, hanging his head between his knees.
"I'm sorry," I replied as I joined him on the couch.
"Sometimes, I feel like I'm someone I'm not anymore. At times, it feels like I can't be who I really am. There are times when I look in the mirror, and I don't know the person staring back at me. I am a stranger to my own reflection."
"Everyone feels that way at some point in their life," I said, trying to comfort him. I put my hand around his neck. "Everyone does that from time to time. We all change. It's the natural order of things. I mean, if no one changed, the world would be a pretty boring place."
"I guess you have a point there," Lance replied, "but sometimes, it seems that I'm not being true to myself. People have this preconceived notion of who I am, and I can't really do anything to change that. At times I feel that I am who others want me to be-- I feel trapped-- and I HATE that!"
"I know what you are saying Lance. Believe me, I understand."
"But how could you know, Steve?" Lance asked raising his voice. "You are not me."
"Ya, I am not you, but I have been there. It feels like you have to be the person that other people want you to be, or the world will come to a complete halt. That you have to keep up this certain image of yourself for others around you or their world will collapse. Trust me Lance, I have been there. That is what did with my throughout high school. I was the happy, athletic, 4.0 student that everyone liked. I was your classic overachiever, and I did it all for my parents. I did everything I did in high school for my parents, to live up to what they wanted me to be, all while I pushed who I really was into a deep dark void."
Lance looked up. I could see the tears streaming down his face. I touched my hand to his tears, trying to dry them off for him. As he looked into my eyes, he said, "I guess you do know. I am sorry, I didn't want to bring up your parents. You know, it amazes me. I thought I was alone, that no one else in this world understood."
"I understand all too well Lance," I said. "It took a nervous breakdown and a few good friends to help me realize that I was not who I wanted to be. They helped me realize that the life I was living was a lie, and sadly, I did it all for my parents."
"Is that why you and your parents don't speak to each other?" Lance asked.
"Ya, kind of. It's mostly that after my nervous breakdown, I confronted them about some stuff. I also told them that I was gay. I come from a prominent family on the island, and they couldn't kick me out, after all, I was a 4.0 student and stuff. So, the day after graduation, I was told to get in my Jeep and never come back. They gave me a check, and I have never looked back."
"Sometimes though, I pity them," I continued, "It took my friends to help me realize this, but they will never know what a great person their son is. They will never know who their son is."
"Steve, I am so sorry."
"Don't be Lance. That was 3 years ago. And to be honest, I think I am happier now then I ever have been."
"What did you do after they kicked you out?"
"Well, I stayed with a few friends for a while. Just long enough to get my own place to stay, and a job. After a while, I saved up enough money to start my web business, and my life went on. I just thank God for my friends.
Eventually, I want to move away from here. Too many bad memories, too many close-minded people."
"I can understand that," Lance said. "I wouldn't want to stick around a place like that. And the friends that you have. You are very lucky that they are that understanding. I don't know how understanding my buds would be about some of the stuff--"
"Hey, if they are your true friends, they will understand anything," I said.
"Ya, I guess you're right."
"Lance," I said.
"Ya Steve?" he answered.
"It's still war," I said as I jump on top of him and renew the tickling. We both tickle each other, and laugh until we are in tears.
That's the end of Part 2. PLEASE, this is my first attempt at fan fiction. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE! COMMENTS BOTH POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE are greatly appreciated! Also, suggestions for what should come next are appreciated. E-mail me at LanceFan2001@aol.com