My Theory of Justice By: Edwin E.
Disclaimer: This story deals with male/male relationships in high school; don't read if you're not supposed to. This story is complete fiction: the people, places, situations, email addresses, etc, mentioned below never existed.
Quick note: Though this story is chronological, it's not entirely linear. But I'm sure that won't be a problem for y'all, right? :-)
Part II: Verisimilitude
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
To: "Philip Albright" plitebright@xxxxxxx.org From: "Jude F. Kitsem" jfkitsem@xxxxxxx.org
Subject: On my way!
Philip,
Guess what?! My dad and I are finally moving! I don't know why his transfer took so long, but it's finally done. I should get there in less than a week! I know I've already missed a couple of weeks of school, but the principal said I wouldn't be at any disadvantage, so I guess that's good. This is the only time I've actually been excited since my dad told me about the move. I guess I'm lucky to have found a friend online who's already attending my future school. No more emails and IM as our only way to talk to each other: we finally get to meet :-) I hope you're excited too. Alright. I'm gonna go pack some more. See you soon!
-Jude
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
"I'm not gay," Brad waveringly stated as he remained lying on the bed.
"Uh-huh okay," answered Adrian with obvious disinterest as he chose his ensemble.
"Look, man, I was drunk last night, a-and I was just really horny," Brad began before trailing off. Adrian's lack of concern over what happened the night before was bothering him. "L-lots of guys experiment, right?"
"If you say so," Adrian replied casually while rummaging through his closet for some shoes.
"Look, I'm not a faggot," Brad continued with boldness, possibly mistaking Adrian's soft-spoken nature with weakness. "So unless you want me telling people that you're a big queer, I think we should just forget about all this." Adrian's head perked up - did Brad just threaten him? He turned and stared at his guest.
"I hate to break it to you tiger, but you weren't nearly as drunk last night as you wish you were," Adrian said coolly as he finished tying his shoes. He looked in the closet mirror and fixed his hair while he continued. "Judging from the noises you made last night... and this morning... I'd have to say that you rather enjoyed yourself."
Brad could sense a bit of an edge creeping into Adrian's voice and he became scared. That fear only heightened as Adrian's 6' frame walked over to the bed and towered over him. In a flash, Brad was pinned down with a forearm across his chest while a hand grasped this throat tightly.
"If you wanna keep quiet about all this, that's fine with me; I'm with you 100 percent on that one," Adrian said softly as he squeezed. "But leave the bravado at the door and never threaten me again, or I'll kill you." Adrian let go, smiled, and stood up as Brad began coughing. "Besides, who are you? Some second string quarterback on a losing team? You're nothing. It doesn't matter anyways: I've fucked more girls than you - who's gonna believe you over me?"
Brad lay on the bed a few more seconds looking defeated. He knew that despite his friendship with Philip, he could never stand a chance against Adrian and his influence. So he quietly started getting dressed while the other boy struggled with his tie. Adrian, knowing he had knocked Brad's confidence down a few pegs, smiled as he watched the victim of his latest social maneuver put on his shirt.
"Listen Brad," Adrian began as he walked toward him again. "You really don't have to worry. I won't say anything if you won't."
"A-alright," Brad responded in a hoarse whisper while the two stood face to face. Needing to reassert his dominance, Adrian grabbed the back of Brad's head and drew him into a deep and rough kiss. When he could feel Brad's excitement grow, Adrian drew back and smiled.
"Now get the fuck out of my house. I have to go to Church," said Adrian nonchalantly. Brad, feeling more vulnerable than ever, confusedly made his way to the front door with Adrian following suit. "Oh, Brad?" Adrian called out just as the poor kid had stepped onto the stoop.
"Yeah?"
"For the record, you are a fag," Adrian smiled before gently closing the door. "Fuckin' loser," he laughed to himself as he heard Brad start his car and drive off.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
To: "Jude F. Kitsem" jfkitsem@xxxxxxx.org From: "Philip Albright" plitebright@xxxxxxx.org
Subject: Re: On my way!
jude,
Finally, man! I am definitely excited that you're almost here. I already told my friends about you that way you can feel more comfortable when you get here. And don't worry, I didn't tell them ALL about you :-) It's definitely selfish of me, but I'm glad that I'm finally gonna have a friend at school who has similar... tastes as me, if you catch my drift :-) I can't wait, man! I guess I'll see you in a week. Take care, bro.
philip.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
The next school day began as any other. Aside from a random fight between a pair of sophomores, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Philip, however, smiled the entire morning. His excitement after receiving Jude's email hadn't diminished over the weekend. Though he loved his current inner circle of friends deeply, he wasn't entirely open with all of them. He never felt he could share his deepest secrets with any of them - except Amanda, but she didn't count (she was more like a sister). Jude was going to change that. Six months of corresponding online and Jude knew Philip's most closely guarded secret; shit, it was the source of their instant bond. Now Jude would be attending Cassidy Prep too. His smile would not fade.
Lunchtime in the cafeteria found Philip and his friends at their usual table. Per their custom, the quintet stayed seated after finishing their meals so they could tell each other about their respective weekends: David and Max had taken their girlfriends to the lake again, a story that elicited playful yawns from the others - the two took their girlfriends to the lake every weekend; Amanda had spent most of Saturday and Sunday shopping with her parents for their newly remodeled home; Philip just relaxed around the house and made it a Blockbuster weekend; and Brad...didn't say much. Although he did his best to take part in the conversation, he seemed mightily distracted. Philip wondered what could be bothering his good friend - he tried to give Brad comforting glances from across the table, but Brad paid little attention.
Meanwhile, Adrian got up from across the room, and with his friends following him, threw away his lunch remnants and prepared to leave. After glancing around the cafeteria, he headed toward the exit farthest from him but right next to Philip's table. Under normal circumstances, the two groups ignored each other during lunch seeing as how there were teachers always around. But this time Adrian had a good reason to head toward his former friend - he had spotted Brad.
Adrian despised everyone at that table: they had chosen Philip over him after the Great Schism. So when he passed by, he acknowledged no one. Most at the table were too engrossed in their conversations to notice him approach. But Philip had noticed, and he did nothing but glare. Adrian, with that consummate smile on his face, quietly lowered his head near Brad's, who hadn't seen him due to his turned back. Whispering quietly enough so no one could overhear, Adrian simply said: "Hey, queer," and casually walked out the door.
Brad, originally startled by the whisper, grew sullen once the words registered in his mind. He wrapped his arms around his backpack and glanced at his friends who were now staring at him with looks of confusion. His pulse quickening, Brad quietly excused himself and left.
"That was weird," said David. "Do you think Brad's okay?"
"I'm not sure," Philip responded. "But we should go. Amanda, go check on Brad. I'll talk to Adrian."
"Um, you sure that's a good idea?" Max asked hesitantly. It had become rare for Adrian and Philip to ever confront each other face to face.
"Not really," Philip said as he grabbed his backpack and quickly headed out of the cafeteria. With that, the group disbanded - each not entirely sure what they had witnessed.
It didn't take too long for Philip to catch up to Adrian and plant himself directly in his path. "What the fuck did you say to Brad?" Philip demanded.
"That's none of your damn business," Adrian responded, his tenor voice resonating a bit in the empty hallway.
"Don't mess with my friends Adrian," Philip said in a grave tone, once again remaining in Adrian's way.
"Well, then I suggest you keep your friends away from my parties Philip," Adrian began gently, his gaze never losing its intensity. "Imagine my surprise this weekend when I saw Brad at MY house, drinking MY beer, dancing with MY guests. What should I have done, just let him go? Is that what you would have done to my friends? The rules are clear: you five are always unwelcome. He should not have been there."
"What did you do?" Philip asked tersely. Adrian simply smiled - a smile that would otherwise be characterized as ravenously sexy if not for the malice seeping behind it.
"Let's just say I got to know Brad better that night... over and over again," Adrian stated, his words dripping with euphemism. He got the reaction he was hoping for: Philip understood immediately what was meant and stood dumbfounded. Adrian walked around him and headed down the corridor - exaggerating his limp for effect - content at finally having been able to strike down one of Philip's closest friends.
"You're such an unfeeling asshole!" Philip called out just as Adrian was about to reach the exit. As was his nature, Adrian never let his true feelings show, and calmly turned around to walk back.
"And whose fault is that, Philip? Hmm?" Adrian whispered once they stood face to face again, his striking features radiating a hint of anger. Adrian would never admit it, but every disparaging comment lobbed at him by Philip really did hurt. What Adrian didn't know, however, was that the same was true for Philip. "Keep your friends away from me and we won't have this problem again. Oh, and, uh, tell Brad I said hi." With a patronizing wink, Adrian left...
Philip remained preoccupied the rest of the school day. He had never suspected Brad of being anything other than straight. Though to be honest, Philip rarely looked at people and tried to classify them by their sexuality: his mind normally didn't think in those terms. Looking back, he might have recognized some signs: Brad always seemed uneasy in the locker room after games; he always laughed when the guys all joked around about sex but hardly ever joined in the conversations; and for a good looking blond-haired, blue-eyed quarterback, Brad was perpetually single.
"Did you talk to Brad?" Philip asked Amanda when they met up after school to walk home.
"Yeah. But he was pretty reserved," she replied as they headed off.
"He didn't tell you what happened?"
"He was vague. He rambled a bit about how he went to Adrian's party and 'fucked up majorly,' as he put it," she continued. "But he didn't give details. Though it was pretty clear that whatever Adrian said in the cafeteria got him rattled. Did Adrian tell you what happened?"
"Yeah," Philip answered. "He practically threw it in my face, that smug bastard."
"Can you tell me about it?"
"It's not my place."
"I understand," Amanda said. The two had a deal: they're completely open about most everything, but when it comes to truly personal problems involving others or even themselves, privacy can become paramount. "I told Brad to talk to you, but he thinks you'll be mad at him."
"What? Why would he think that?"
"Because," she continued, "he thinks you'll be mad that he went to that party when he wasn't supposed to. 'Brought it upon himself' type of deal."
"That's silly," Philip said. "I can't tell him what he can or can't do. I think he shouldn't have gone, but he's one of my closest friends: I'll always stand by him." He sighed. "Brad's always had more 'neutral' friends than any of us. I'm sure they had no problem getting into that party. He probably got tired of never being able to hang out with them."
"Maybe," Amanda agreed. "I told him you could help him, no matter what the problem is. So he might call you today, just so you know."
"Thanks for helping Amanda," Philip smiled, giving her a little nudge off the sidewalk.
"Jerk!" She laughed as she got back on the sidewalk and pushed Philip back. "So how are you going to handle things?"
"I'm not entirely sure. But I'll think of something... I always do," he replied rather bleakly. After another 15 minutes talking about random shit, the two said goodbye and veered toward their respective blocks. Philip immediately went to his room, took out a pencil and paper and began jotting down ideas for how to deal with Adrian this time around.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
'Litebright' Online Journal Entry #412
Mood: tired Music: Mariah Carey (before she turned into a ho)
I talked to 'B' tonight. I told him I knew something was wrong (of course I didn't tell him I knew the details). He didn't open up too much though. He mentioned the party and how he shouldn't have gone. But he said nothing of what actually happened to get him so distressed today. I can definitely understand him trying to keep all that a secret; Lord knows I wouldn't tell if I was in his position. But still...
Anyways, I did let him know that no matter what happened, I was already working on making sure 'A' doesn't do anything stupid. 'B' said he didn't want me to get involved - that he could handle things himself. Yeah right. He's one of my closest friends, but the boy must be crazy if he thinks he can handle this. I'm going to help my friend through this, and I'm not asking for his permission - I told him as much.
I don't consider myself too prone to melodrama, but 'A' can be very efficient when it comes to destroying people. He's careful and calculating and cruel. There's no doubt in my mind that fucker just wants to hurt me, through 'B.' But I've been through this before. That's why I have to get involved. All this is my fault. People don't seem to understand that. 'A' keeps trying to punish me by attacking my friends. Three years and he's never really relented. But I know him too well. I can handle this... I have to handle this.
If my friends have to deal with all this shit because of me, then the least I can do is help out and keep things as easy for them as possible...
God I'm tired. I think that's it for tonight everybody. Time for bed!
****** Comments: 1
JFKitsem - Damn. I swear this high school of yours is straight out of a soap opera or something :-) Should be interesting! I hope your friend is all right. And you're right about helping him: doesn't matter if he wants it or not, it's the right thing to do, right? 'A' and 'B'? Are you going to introduce me to these people once I get there? Do I get to be 'J'? Good night 'P'. :-)
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
TO BE CONTINUED...
Author's Notes: Hello! I know the style's a bit disjointed, but it's supposed to be. Hope you're all still sticking around. Write me!
edwine81@gmail.com