DISCLAIMER: This story is based in truth. Some events/persons have been altered for the purpose of the story. There may be scenes of unsafe practices which are not endorsed by this author. All other usual warnings and precautions should be considered here. Feel free to write with any comments, corrections, etc. Think of this as a Gedankenexperiment. And remember to donate to Nifty to support all of these great stories.
True love cannot be defined. The true form of anything cannot be defined. As humans we are inherently flawed and therefore cannot experience anything in its true form. It is nearly impossible for us to reserve judgment on anything. However, we can convey our own flawed emotions and compare them with others.
Cole and I had reached a moment in our relationship. Sex and kissing was important too, but this was a development in the link which bound us. People often mistake actions for a relationship. Kissing someone does not imply love, even sex does not imply love. A relationship isn't real until you can truly feel it. Mine wasn't real yet. He said he loved me, but I couldn't feel it. Hearing Cole say those words hurt me.
We got up from the rock and headed back to his apartment. I didn't say much. Each of us could sense the pain felt by the other. We were connected on so many levels except for one critical one. Cole and I could not share happiness or passion until we both truly felt it. By confessing my attraction I made Cole even more vulnerable and broke him further. I hated myself.
"Coleton, this is all wrong," I said as he unbuttoned his shirt.
"My shirt?" he shed the article and revealed the torso I revered as perfection.
"No, your shirt is fine. This feeling of pain. It's like licking a lollipop that happens to be salt flavor. Just a weirdness," I stated.
"But I thought we loved each other," he looked confused.
"I thought so too. But now, I'm not sure. Does a 21 year old even know what love is? I've been in school for 16 fucking years and I didn't learn a thing," the weight of the situation was getting to me.
"Lucas just calm down," Cole came over and hugged me.
Everything was fucked up. I thought I pushed a good thing too far and destroyed it. The cute guy in the library that I once watched make eggs in his boxers was an emotional wreck. The calculating math major who enjoyed music and comics was now questioning all of his logic. I was the one who broke both of them.
"What happened to us?" I looked Cole right in the eyes.
"We changed each other. We helped each other learn. We happened to us," it was as if he spoke right to my soul.
"I'm so sorry," I almost cried but then he cut me off.
"Lucas I think there's one thing we should try," he put on a sweatshirt before grabbing my hand to go outside.
Before heading outside Cole quickly gathered a number of items. From the kitchen he took a lighter and bottle of vodka. In the living room he grabbed a pair of earbuds. Lastly he took his keychain from the shelf in the hallway.
We walked over to an empty park and sat under a tree. Cole produced an iPod from his back pocket. He handed me an earbud and put on Fleetwood Mac's Greatest Hits album. Then he took a swallow of some of the vodka and handed me the bottle. I did the same.
"This is us too. The parts of us that aren't broken. Remember that first party we went to? That was the first time we kissed and really had fun together. Remember how we both really love music and how much a song can speak to us? That was the first time we really connected. We were just trying to discover each other; not fix each other," his words made so much sense.
"I'm really sorry for all of this. I guess I just tried too hard. I always think I have the solution for everything and I always have to try and fix everything. But I can't have the solution for everything, and I shouldn't try to fix you," admitting those things was difficult for me.
"I don't want us to be perfect," Cole took another swallow of vodka.
"Me neither," I leaned my head on his shoulder.
"I like us fucked up," Cole messed around with what little hair I had.
Everything about that moment was perfect. Some would say we regressed to a stage of stagnation. Cole and I were accepting of our faults, even if they threatened our relationship. But this wasn't the case. We were accepting of each other for who we were. Both of us were remembering all of the things that made us who we were.
By the time the album finished, Cole was drunk and I was buzzed. He produced a cigarette from his other back pocket along with the lighter. I was unaware that Cole smoked and didn't think he would given his interest in basketball.
"You smoke?" I asked.
"Only when I'm drunk, and only when I feel like it. I'm drunk and I feel like it," he took the initial drag of the lit cigarette.
I didn't question his choice further. Cole finished his cigarette and presented the last item he had grabbed. From his keychain he clumsily unhooked a small shield keychain attached to the ring. He held it out in his open palm for me to take. I picked it up.
"That's so you'll know I'll always be protecting you. It's because I love you Lucas, so damn fucking much," even though he was drunk I knew he meant it.
"I know, and I love you too," we kissed and he tasted like an average college kid.
Once we thoroughly froze under that tree we decided to head back inside. To my surprise we had been outside for a little over an hour. Cole had sobered up a little, but not by much. It was also becoming obvious that he was feeling frisky, and that excited me a little as well.
"So how about having some fun?" Cole said after sliding off his sweatshirt and walking towards me.
"I generally like fun," I replied.
"Alright. I say that after I take your clothes, you take my jeans and underwear then suck the cum out of me, and then you throw me onto the bed and fuck some more cum out of me," Cole's nose was touching mine as his fingers undid my buttons.
"You drive a hard bargain sir," I whispered.
"Yours is harder," his hand was now in my pants grabbing my firming dick.
My clothes came off quickly. I remembered well how demanding Cole was sexually when he was sober, and I could only imagine how he might act drunk. Once I was naked with my dick hovering in front of me, I moved to meet Cole's first demand. The tip of my tongue ran along the curve of Cole's stomach up to his navel and swirled around the inside. My hands tweaked at his nipple as I used my teeth to pull down the zipper of his jeans. I ran my tongue along the fabric covering his steely cock.
"Fuck you Lucas, just blow me already," Cole was writhing in impatience and ecstasy.
I moved my left hand down to unbutton his jeans. Then I moved behind him to pull down his jeans and underwear. I got down on my knees until my face was at his butt. The sheer perfection of his form was overwhelming from this angle. His muscled back and shoulders were perfectly complemented by his sculpted rear. From this position I used my left hand to begin pumping his cock as I kissed his butt cheeks. Cole immediately let out a moan of pleasure. I kept the stroking at a constant pace since I didn't want his orgasm to start yet. I moved around to Cole's front once I finished admiring his ass. His dick was as hard as ever, but I didn't move to take him in my mouth right away. First I decided to lick at the underside of his balls a little. I was met with a slightly rough stubble, but the sensation truly fascinated me.
"Oh please Lucas just fucking suck me already, I thought you loved me, not wanted to torture me," Cole begged.
Enough was enough at the point. I slowly took Cole's dick in my mouth, but he started to force himself in quickly. I struggled to keep up with his pace. At this point my only hope was to have him come quickly. His orgasm was easy enough to coax out once I used my tongue and a good deal of suction. Soon I felt him burst against my throat. There was a great amount of swallowing, but not much to taste. Cole roared as he emptied the last of his first load. I was a little surprised at how much cum he had produced.
"Now it's time for the bed, stud," I said as I pushed Cole a few times before he fell onto the bed.
"I want you inside me so bad Lucas," he was always begging for his orgasms.
"You know, I'm sick of your pathetic little slut routine here. I thought I was with a real man here. All this talk and muscles just mean nothing on a whore like you. So answer this for me whore, do you want to be fucked?" I was playing along with him.
"I'm a fucking man alright. But I'm a man who wants to be fucked. A man who wants you to fuck him, and do it right fucking now," Cole really wanted it.
I went and got the lube from his drawer. Just like the previous night, I started with one finger and worked my way up to three. Cole kept squealing with pleasure and seeing him just turned me on even more. I had no hesitation when he finally asked me get inside of him. Slowly, I slid myself up to his hole. However, Cole had other plans for himself. Upon feeling my dick between his cheeks, he immediately thrust himself downward and impaled himself on my dick. Both of us moaned loudly at the sudden action.
"Ugh, Lucas I want you so deep inside me. Hit me hard and deep Lucas. Please do it," Cole was squirming and his cock was rock solid.
I obeyed his command as best I could. My dick withdrew from him until the head was all that remained inside, and then I rammed myself as deep as I would go into Cole's ass. He screamed as I bottomed within him.
"Did I hurt you?" I asked with concern.
"No, no, that felt so fucking good. Please go again Lucas, and hurry," Cole looked to be enjoying himself so much.
Once again I did as he requested. My dick withdrew and then plowed right through him. I could have sworn I was up inside of his throat. But Cole screamed out in pleasure once again. Admittedly this felt very good for me too. After the fourth thrust I lost myself in the passion and went to town on his ass. My strokes increased in power and speed. I decided that Cole wouldn't be able to handle much of this pounding on his ass, plus I couldn't hold back much longer, so I decided to jack him off at the same time. I stroked his dick furiously as I relentlessly penetrated his ass. Cole came first and I was close behind. I loved watching him coat himself in his own cum. He made the most incredible noise when he orgasmed. It was a masculine almost roar coupled with the shrill cry of pure bliss. My orgasm was incredible and left me frozen deep inside of him. I shook as I stared into his eyes and released my load within. Afterwards I licked the cum out of his navel.
"That's true love," he said after a few minutes.
"No. It's our love," I countered.
"This is a pure mess," he said as he ran his hand over his cum soaked abdomen.
"Yes, it needs a shower," I licked some more cum off of his stomach which made him quiver.
"Mhm, let's shower off," Cole got up from the bed.
Our love wasn't perfect, but it didn't have to be. At this point I was confident in my relationship with Cole. We were beginning to truly understand how each of us functioned. Our relationship could be shared with others who accepted us. Not as in having sex with other people, but interacting with friends as boyfriends. The hard part about that was the acceptance, and there were still people we hadn't dealt with yet. Namely my parents.