Not a Perfect Love

NEW DISCLAIMER: No disclaimer. Read the old ones! :^) No "Did you knows", no quotes, no nothing. Just a story!

THE I'M OPENLY GAY BAROMETER:

Number of those who know: 42

STATS: 31 girls, one lesbian, the rest straight

11 boys, 2 bi and the rest straight

PHILIP VOICEOVER: Previous on Not A Perfect Summer

• So you are stalking me! Philip exclaims. - I'm new to Hereditary High and we're in the same English class. Ripley says. - I don't know the way, so I've been following you to get back on campus. - Wanna, like, hang out sometimes? Ripley suggests. - Sure. Philip says and smiles widely. - I'm Philip. - I'm Ripley. Ripley introduces himself.

• So, what do you want to do today, then? Philip wonders. - I don't know. Ripley says and then leans in and kisses Philip. - But.. you... why... how... when...! Philip stutters.

• Philip, I have cancer. Ripley foretells Philip. - You what?! Philip exclaims. - It's... it's a fast growing brain tumor. Ripley says quietly. - It is operable? Philip asks. - Please, tell me that it's operable. - No...! Ripley says quietly.

• I'm sorry...! Ripley says. - No, don't be. Philip says. - It's not your fault. I whisper into his ear. - I love you. Ripley says. - I love you too. Philip says.

• Philip, Philip, come quick! Julia exclaims. - Ripley... he's... he collapsed in the middle of litterature class...!

• His condition is critical. A doctor foretells Philip and Julia. - He suffered a severe brain bleed.

• These are my parents. Ripley introduces Philip and Julia to two Amish people.

• What's wrong, honey? Philip asks Ripley. - They... they knew. Ripley sobs. - What?! Julia exclaims. - Apparentely, I've had the tumor since early childhood. Ripley continues sobbing. - It was operable back then, but they chose not to do a thing. "God gives and God takes", they said. And now, it's nonoperable. - What kind of people would do something like that?! Julia exclaims. - Amish people. Philip says slowly.

• It doesn't look like you have to spend the night here. The nurse says quietly. - I don't?! Philip exclaims. - I'm sorry...! The nurse says. - He didn't make it. - No!!!!! Philip exclaims.

• We have gathered here today to honor the memory of a young man named Ripley Hansson. The priest began. At one side of Ripley's coffin stand his parents and the rest of his family while Philip and Julia stood at the other, glaring at Ripley's parents. - May they burn in Hell. Julia whispers to Philip.

• Huh? Philip exclaims. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees Ripley sitting on a bench on campus.

DAZED AND CONFUSED - PHILIP

• Ripley?! I exclaim. - Huh? The guy wonders and then his eyes widen when he sees me. - Oh, it's you! And he smiles at me. Oh my God! But it can't be! Yet, it is. The same face, same height, same voice, even the same smile. - But, how is this possible? I stutter. - Oh, what's the matter! To Heck with it if I'm just dreaming or something. So, I throw myself into his arms and plant and big kiss on his lips. He struggles for a while but then settles down. When I break the kiss, he's breathing hard and blushing. - What's wrong? I ask. - I'm not Ripley. He says. - This is not a dream. This is reality. I'm his twin brother, Riley. Silence... silence... silence... tumb... wait... is that Brad Pitt? Wait, focus. Alright... brother... he never told me about a brother, nonetheless a twin! - But... then why weren't you at his funeral? I ask, totally clueless, dazed, confused and all. - Oh, I was. He chuckles. - I was standing behind a couple of trees at the cemetary. I didn't want to meet my family and hear about how I've brought shame upon the family for not following the family tradition and become an Amish. - Those lilies that always seem to be at his grave...! I mumble. - I mean, everytime I come there, there are fresh lilies there. Are you the one of puts them there? - Yeah. Riley chuckles. - You're Philip, right? - You know who I am? I ask. - Yeah, you were his lust bunny. Lust bunny? Oh, dust bunny. Should I laugh? Maybe not. I decide not to. - But why didn't he tell me about you? I wonder out loud. - He was going too. Riley foretells me. - The cancer made him put those plans on hold, though. And I didn't want to shock you by appearing at your school suddenly. By the way, why are you here at INSomnia High? - Oh, I tranfered here for my sophomore year. I foretell him. - That Hereditary High school held too many bad memories for me to bear.

NOT A PERFECT SOPHOMORE Chapter 04 - Mirror Image

• So, met any interesting people here? Ripley, I mean Riley asks me. We're sitting in the school cafeteria, having lunch. I swallow my mouthful of potato and then smile at him. - Oh, mostly straight guys. I say and grin widely. - They're so boring. And I mean, why be straight? Boys have so much more to offer! Besides, gay guys get to have three major things that straight guys don't. - Oh, which tree? Riley wonders, obviously intrigued. - One, we get to dance like sissies without anyone judging us. I say. - At least not any more than they already are; two we get to have great taste in clothes and three, we get to have flocks of girls just dying to be our friends! By the way, are you on the girl's team or the boy's team. - Girls. He says and I let out a sigh of disappointment. - What a waste. I groan. - Hey! Riley protests and I chuckle. - You're so much like him. I chuckle. - So cute. - Hope I'm not stirring up bad memories for ya'. Riley says warmheartedly. - Naw. I say. - Memories are allways stirr-up-able. And most of them are good. Except for the whole brain-tumor-it's-all-your-parents-I-wanna-kill-them-part. Silence, silence, tumble-weed, Kitana from MK2?! Oh, I forgot! - Oh, sorry. I apologize in realization. - I forgot that they're your parents, too. - Well, I kinda broke all ties to them a long time ago. Riley chuckles and smiles. - No worries. No big. I kinda wish them dead sometimes, too. Actually, I "left" them even before Ripley did. - I wish mine dead too. I say. - I'm lucky to still be here. I just won an emancipation case yesterday. Finally, I'm free. And they can't do anything about it. I can even throw a restraining order their way. - How good for you...! He says and smiles. - I think. Silence... at least between the two of us. More silence... yet more silence... is that the Divine Miss M?! "Who loves me though I am crazy... And nothing that I say is true..."... oh... wait. - Did he love me? I break the silence awkwardly and then blush awkwardly. Man! How stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! - What? Riley asks. - I mean... did he ever tell you if he... y'know... loved me? - Of course he did. He says and smiles warmly. And I feel warm all over. He loved me! He loved me! Wait... how much? - Wait... how much? I ask. - Enough to marry you. Riley says and smiles widely. Wow!!! Wow!!! Wowie!!! Wait... say what?! - Say what? I ask. - He was saving up money to buy you a ring. Riley says. ... ... ... I start crying. I can't stop the tears from flowing. I just can't... and I cry and I cry and I cry.

NOT A PERFECT SOPHOMORE Chapter 04 - Peace Of Mind

• Sorry. He apologizes. We've moved our conversation to mine and Ashley's room now. Thank god that he's not in for the moment. - It's not your fault. I say. - But... I made you cry. He says quietly. - You're so much like your brother. I sigh and touch his face with my left hand. He doesn't even flinch. What a nice guy. - It wasn't your fault that I started to cry. It was Ripley's... for loving me so much. I wanted to marry him too... but then he went and died on us all... and it's all those amish bastards that are you parent's fault. - Yeah. He sighs. - It's nice that I can badmouth them this much without you protesting. - Oh, I don't care. He chuckles. - "Go badmouthing for the amish bastards!"

(Anya: "Go deadness for the demons") - Buffy? I ask him. - Yeah. He chuckles and grins. - I'm a Buffy-freak. - Well, say hello to the biggest Buffy-freak of all time. I say. - I've got all of the seasonal collection boxes... plus all of the Angel boxes. - Well, I've got all of that, plus all of the DvDs! He retorts. - I've got a homepage! I shoot back. - Well, I've got a Spike action-figure! He proclaims proudly. - You win. I sigh in resignation. - You're the bigger freak. - Thank you. He says triumphantly. - You're weird. I say. - You're weirder. He says. - But you're the weirdest of us all. I say and he frowns and then smiles. - If only you were gay...! And I put my hand where it shouldn't be... on his ass. - Hey, "Hands in new places!" He exclaims. - He! He! I grin mischievously. - Very funny. He chuckles and blushes. - Sorry, it'll never happen again. I apologize and then grin evilly at him. - I wonder...! He says and scans my face with mock suspicion. - Isn't this a trustworthy face? I question him, still grinning evilly. - Hmmm...! He says and I start giggling. "Then he starts giggling and it's a giggle-fest". - Hi...! Ashley starts saying and then does a double-take. - Whoa!!! Whoa!!! Dead man walking! Literally! Oh God! I forgot all about showing him pictures of me and Ripley together. - Don't freak on us. I say and point over at Riley. - This is Riley, Ripley's twin brother. We just met today. I was just as shocked as you were, only I think Riley was the most shocked one when I ran up to him and kissed him. I can see on Ashley's facial expression that he cools down and he walks up to Riley and presents his right hand for shaking. And they shake hands. - Ashley. Ashley introduces himself. - Riley. Riley responds.

• This is weird. I say. - And awkward. Riley says. - What is he doing?! Ashley groans and stares and the Tv-screen. - You know, this is not what I had in mind when you asked if we wanted to watch a movie. Ashley says. Silence as the movie wears on... - Ewwww!!!! We all exclaim in unison. - This is sooo bad! Riley exclaims. - How can you watch this kind of stuff? Ashley groans. - Hey, it's not like I'm enjoying this. I groan. - This too much. - It is...! It is...! Riley starts saying. - The second season of Digi-mon!!! Ashley cries. - Waaaah!!! We all exclaim in unison. - Alright, I've never really disliked an Anime, but my limit goes here. I declare. - Uh-huh. Riley and Ashley both say and nod in unison.

• It's been nice. He says. - Yeah. I say. - You two must've been really close. - Yeah. He says. - After all, twins share a bond that goes beyond blood. The day that he died, I felt like a part of me had gone lost, although I had no idea of what that had happened to him. - So, you upto this? I ask him. - Like, really? - I am. He says and nods. We walk down the path, leading to Ripley's grave, me carrying a bouqet of white roses and him a bouqet of white lillies. We stop when we reach the grave and just stare and the tombstone for a while.

Ripley Cole Rawley

Devoted friend

Super-super-nice

"I will always love you, Ripper"

Somehow, causing his death made Ripley's parents think and let me and Julia take care of the inscriptions of the tombstone. - Nice words. Riley compliments me. - The "Super-super-nice" sure gave it a touch of class. - Shut up. I groan and roll my eyes at him. - You're cute when you do that. He chuckles. - I can see why Ripley fell for you. - I thought you were straight. I say. - Oh, I don't wanna label myself. He chuckles and then grins wickedly. - Let's put down the flowers. I suggest and we both lean down and leave our bouqets at the foot of the tombstone. After doing that, Riley grabs the bouqet of almost fresh lillies that he must've left the last time he was here. - It's nice how you look after him. I say. - When we were growing up, he was always looking after me. Riley tells me. - I see this as a way to repay him. - Want me to call the mortuary and have them add "Beloved brother" to the tombstone? I ask him. - Yeah. He sighs. - That'd be nice. Thanks. - Must have been nice. I sigh. - You and him, together. - I thought it'd last forever. He sighs. Silence... wind... more silence... seagulls? More silence... a noise in a distance. Sounds like someone dropping a bottle made out of glass. The sound of it shattering breaks the silence. - Oh, before I forget. He says and hands me a small box. - What is it? I wonder. - Ripley took me out shopping one day. Riley says and smiles widely. - I helped him pick it out. He was gonna give it to you and...! I open it... it's a ring. With a diamond surrounded by four emeralds... my birthstones. - Oh...! I say and feel the tears well up in my eyes. - Actually, we had to get it custom made. Riley chuckles. - When we found it, it only had the diamond and...! Tears start overflowing my eyes and well down my face and Riley stops talking. - Sorry. He says. - Stirring up bad memories, aren't I? - No. I sob. - Good memories. They're good memories. I just loved him so much. I can't believe that he's gone! - I know. Riley sighs. - I feel the same way. - You think I'll ever be able to love someone again? I ask. - Of course you will. He says and smiles widely. - "You are full of love." - Yeah, and "death is my gift". I groan and he grins widely. The tears have stopped now. But I still feel emotional and my voice is still quivering slightly. - Say, you don't happen to be Buffy16 from #buffy-central? He asks. - This is he. I say. - So you're the one who's been spoiling my winning chances on the Buffy- trivia! He exclaims. - I'm Angel19-25. - What a weird alias. I chuckle and wipe my tears away. - Love hurts. He says quietly, in a comforting way. - But it's too good to give up on. - This is nice. I sigh. - You, me. Think we can become friends? I mean, close friends? - Sure. He chuckles. - I can give you intimate details about his childhood and you will most certainly not give me intimate details about your months together. - Aw, c'mon. I chuckle. - "You know you want to dance". - "Say that I do". He says. - "It wouldn't be you. You are beneath me." - Oh, now I'm really gonna tell you all about what me and him did! I cry in mock anger and Riley smiles weakly.

• So, how was it? Piper asks. - Wasn't it weird? I mean, hello, your ex-boyfriend's twin brother. - I guess. I sigh. - But it was nice. He was nice. It was all really really really really really really really really really really nice. - Good God, guy, take some air. He chuckles and I inhale deeply. - Nice ring. He comments. - Yeah. I sigh and look down at the ring on my right ringfinger, the ring Ripley had bought me. - Ripley got it for me. - He sounds like a really cool guy. Piper chuckles. - I would have liked to meet him. I look around, scanning the room. Oh, he's here! So, I stand up and wave to him.

ASHLEY'S PREDICAMENT

Should I tell him or should I not? "You have to tell him!" Piper had told me. "You love him and all. If you don't, one day, you'll wake up and wonder what could have been. Even if you two do get together and have a horrible break-up, you'll still have your memories." I guess I should tell him. But... oops! I trip over a tin can and land right next to a white rose. White roses, his favorites... Philip's the is. So, I pick it up and then stand up. I look around. Ouh! A bench. I sit down on it. It's nice... the park this time of year. Leaves falling from the trees, birds soaring across the sky. And I start plucking the rose's petals. - "Tell", "Don't tell", "Tell", "Don't tell"...! I mumble as I pluck the petals. Finally, I'm down on the final petal. - "Tell". I say as I pluck it and let it fall to the ground. So... I'll tel him. I stand up and start running. They should still be in the school cafeteria. I had left to take a stroll in the park. I arrive and see them sitting at a table. And Philip stands up and waves. But it isn't at me. It's at that cute guy that looks just like Charles Hunnam, minus a couple of years, with brown hair and just a tad cuter. He walks over to them and sits down and they start chatting. That's it. Piper was right. I've lost. I will one day wake up and wonder what could have been. But I'll hold my head up high. I was over to them and sit down opposite to Philip. - Oh, hi Ash. Philip greets me. - Do you have to keep calling me that? I whine. - It sounds like that cartooned character from Pokémon. - Hey. He says. - I'll be squirtle, since I'm gonna dye my hair blue tonight, Nathan can be Charmander and Piper can be Pikachu. - Pika! Piper declares. - Char. Nathan chuckles. Ooh! Why does he have to be so cute?! He and Philip are gonna fall in love and I'll never get my chance. - Squirtle! Squirtle. Philip laughs. - Sure, sure. I groan. - Just make fun of the jock, why don't ya? - That reminds me, don't you have football practice in, like, five minutes? Piper reminds me and a it feels like a lightbulb has lit up above of my head. Actually, it has. Someone turned the lamp above me on and my hair feels as if it's gonna spontaneously combust. I quickly move out of the way and rub my head. - You're right! I exclaim. - Gotta go. With that said, I dash for the exit and then for practice. I glance back and see that the three of them are chatting, happily.

• You do realize how pathetic you are, aren't you? Piper yells at me. - Yeah. I sigh. We're sitting in Language class, one of the few classes that we have together that Philip doesn't since he takes French and we take German. - It's just that when I saw Nathan...! - They're just friends. He interrupts me. - Philip thinks that there isn't any sparkage. Not much, anyway. - So, I've still got a chance? I ask, excited. - Only if you act on it. He says. - I... I...! I stutter. - Oh God, what a moron you are. He groans. - Sure, kick me while I'm down why don't you! I growl angrily. Silence... tension... - Sorry. He apologizes seemingly truthfully. - Naah. I sigh. - I'm just so depressed. I mean, here I am, jock, straight B's, known as Mr. Nice-guy. Why do I have to be Gay too? - Well, you are. He says. - Or at least bi. Anyway, you're in love. Deal with it. Tell him. Or don't. - I'll wait a while. I say quietly. - And then... maybe. - Oh, you are soooo pathetic. Piper groans and I hide my head in my German book in mock shame.

WITH A VENGANCE - PHILIP

• Fag. He taunts me. As if that's supposed to make me feel bad. There he is, the school "bad boy", Danny Releno. He's always gotta pick on someone and this week, he's picked me to be his subject of taunts. - Fag. He repeats. - Freaking fudgepacker. Did you spend you weekends getting it on with some other boy-slut again? - Shut up. I growl at him. - Not that kind of language in my class, Mr. Wester, please. The teacher, a bitter middle-aged balding asshole called Mr. Morris, says. - What?! I exclaim. - He started it. Did you hear what he was saying...? - That is it. Mr. Morris says angrily. - You have caused enough commotion. Please go and wait outside. - What?! I exclaim. Everyone's staring at me. I decide to calm down. I grab my books, shove them into my bookbag and storm out, slamming the door behind me.

• Mr. Wester, please come back in. Mr. Morris tells me after class ends and everyone's left. - What now? I growl as I step into the classroom. I lean back at the wall as he starts talking. - I have looked for a reason to fail you for a very long time and I've finally found one. He grins evilly. - You started arguing with a boy in class and used foul words. - But he started it! I protest. - Well, who's the school board gonna believe? Me or some kind of fag? - So, this is all an issue about me being Gay, isn't it? I question him. - I've always been a good student... always good at French. And now you're gonna fail me? Don't you think that people are gonna get just a tad suspicious? - Not if they look at your test scores. He grins and throws a stack of papers at my feet. I lean down and pick them up and start looking them through. - But these aren't mine. I protest. - This isn't my handwriting. Close, but...! - I had them forged. He grins. - Looked at your tests and then forged your handwriting. Officially, you've gotten a failing grade at each and every test, up-to-date. Even as simple tests as "Être" and "Avoir" in the present tense. Ouh. I must resist the urge to freak out and yell at him. If they hear me raise my voice, Morris will score points. Suddenly, he punches himself in the face. - What? I ask. He punches again and again, until his nose starts bleeding. And then he starts yelling. - Help! He screams. - Please! Stop! Stop hitting me! Stop! He throws his glasses to the floor and steps on them so that they break and then throw himself at the floor. Only seconds later, the school principal, Mr. Harder, along with four students, Andrew, Maya, Mischa and Jane. - What happened? Mr. Harder demands to get to know. - That boy... that evil child. Mr. Morris says with a fake tremble in his voice. He points at me with a trembling arm. - He beat me down after I told him that I was going to fail him. All the while, I'm standing here, over ten feet away from him, leaning against the wall, holding the stack of paper. - Wasn't me. Is all that I say.

TO BE CONTINUED...

I will try to get the next chapter done by next week. Please don't get frustrated if it takes a long time. I have to balance a lot of stuff. High school, constant tests, two homepages, Buffy, Buffy, yet more Buffy, Buffy on IRC, Buffy in chatrooms, Anime, more Buffy and gay porn! I mean, there's just not enough time for this, since it's also just a spin-off of my sci-fi fantasy series The Atrocious Angel (which is currently under serious revision).

See ya'. PS: I am the God och Buffy-knowledge! All shall worship me!!!!

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