Not Until You Love Me

By Happy Penelope

Published on Jun 4, 2001

Gay

Yay, my procrastinating butt finally got some writing done. Thanks to Jordan or Ice whatever you wanna call her. She kicked me in the ass and made me write. LOL.

Feedback: Happy_Penelope@hotmail.com I promise I won't bite if you write me. I'm really a very nice person. Contrary to popular belief : )

Dedication: To Jordan, because I love her to death and she actually likes this loopy story.

Disclaimer: I don't know Nsync or their sexual preferences. This story is a work of fiction.


"Shit" Chris whispered, as the straws were revealed.

Lance frowned at Chris. "Umm, is this gonna be ok guys? I can trade with one of you if you want." He said, seeing the expressions on the faces of JC, Joey, and Justin who had the three middle length straws.

"I'm ok. You ok Joey?" Justin asked, turning to look at Joey almost daring JC to ask to trade.

JC wasn't about to admit that it would bother him seeing Joey and Justin together. "It's cool." He said, smiling one of the meant for the camera and fans smiles he had mastered.

Lance knew looking at all three of his friends, that none of them were comfortable with the rooming arrangement. He also knew that they were all too stubborn to admit it. He just prayed that all hell wouldn't break loose when it came time for bed. Lance was sure that Joey would insist that he and Justin share a bed. He was also positive that it would kill JC seeing them share that bed.

"Well, Lancey my man, let's get out of here and leave the love birds alone." Chris laughed, totally oblivious to everything else around him as usual.

Lance shot a worried glance at his friends as he followed Chris to the door. "Joey, can I talk to you outside?" He asked, nodding his head toward the door.

Joey turned to Justin, silently asking if he'd be ok alone with JC while he talked to Lance. Justin smiled, giving Joey an encouraging nod. Joey smiled back, turning to follow Lance out the door.

JC opened his suitcase and began pulling out clothes to take a shower. He needed to get out of the room and away from Justin.

Justin sat on the opposite bed from where JC was. He flipped on the television, not that he really wanted to watch anything. He just didn't want to look at JC. He kept his eyes glued on the screen, watching the channels become a blur as he surfed through them.

JC hesitantly looked at Justin. "I'm going to take a shower. Do you need to use the bathroom before I go in?" He asked.

"No" Justin answered, no allowing himself to look away from the television.

JC sighed wearily, as he turned away from Justin and headed for the bathroom.


JC exited the bathroom after his shower to find, Justin and Joey laying on of the beds together watching a movie.

Joey wrapped an arm around Justin's waist, smirking at JC as if daring him to say something. Justin not looking at JC, moved closer to Joey and pressed his back into Joey's chest. Joey tightened the embrace, never once looking away from JC's face. Joey smiled knowingly and then turned back to the movie.

JC pulled on a pair of pajama pants over his boxer briefs and crawled into bed. Turning his back to Justin and Joey. He closed his eyes, bidding sleep to come quickly. He prayed that he'd fall asleep before he did something stupid, like dragging Justin out of Joey's bed. Which is exactly what he wanted to do. He laid awake listening to Justin and Joey talk and laugh while watching the movie. It seemed like hours before everything became quiet, he knew though it hadn't been because the movie had just ended.

"Is he asleep?" Joey whispered, trying to see through the dark to JC's bed.

Justin chuckled quietly, "He won't be if you don't be quiet." he said, swatting Joey's arm lightly.

JC stayed as still as possible. He didn't want them to think that he was eavesdropping on them. He didn't want to hear them talking happily together, but he couldn't go to sleep either. Every time he closed his eyes, Justin's face streaming with tears haunted him.

"Kiss me." Justin whispered, rolling over closer to Joey.

Joey wrapped his arms around Justin, "Shouldn't we check and make sure JC's sleeping first?" he asked, kissing Justin's neck lightly.

"He is, he hasn't moved since he laid down. You know how he is when he lays down. He's out in seconds." Justin said quietly, running his fingers through Joey's hair.

Joey gently pressed his lips to Justin's, bringing one hand up to caress the back of Justin's neck. Justin's tongue snaked out, lapping at Joey's bottom lip. Joey groaned, admitting Justin's tongue.

JC clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes tightly shut, suppressing the urge to jump Joey and tear his hands and mouth off of Justin. A tear escaped, tracing the curve of his cheek. Justin's moans drowned out the screams in his head. He wanted to shout out to them, tell them he was awake but his throat constricted on the words. He lay drowning in the sound of Justin's quiet moans.

Joey trailed kisses down Justin's neck. Justin ran his hands up under Joey's shirt, stroking the smooth skin. Joey broke the kiss, pulling away long enough to grab the hem of Justin's shirt and drag it over his head. He licked gently at the pulse point just below Justin's ear. Justin's moaning became louder. Joey's tongue followed the long curve of Justin's neck, licking his collar bone. Justin tugged at Joey's shirt, indicating that he wanted it off now. Joey jerked his off in one fluid motion. He resumed kissing across Justin's chest, lapping at a nipple with the tip of his tongue, pinching the other gently. Justin groaned, pressing Joey's mouth closer. Joey's tongue began moving lower, licking the fine hairs on Justin's abdomen. Justin grabbed Joey's head, pulling it away from him.

"Jesus, I need my pants off now." He panted, reaching for the drawstring on his sweat pants.

Joey brushed Justin's fumbling fingers away and did the job himself. "Here, lift up so I can pull them off." He whispered, tugging at the waist band of Justin's pants.

JC's breath stopped at the sound of Justin's throaty moan as Joey tugged at his pants. The thought of Joey removing Justin's sweats was more than he could abide. He hastily threw back his covers and stumbled from the bed, rushing toward the door not even bothering to dress or grab shoes. He fumbled with the doorknob, before finally gaining freedom from the hell within the room. JC ran to the room next door, praying it was Chris and Lance's. He began furiously pounding on the door.

Chris jerked the door open, "There better be a god damn fire, otherwise you' re going down." he said mid yawn.

JC couldn't breathe, his chest hurt. He nearly collapsed onto the floor, and would have if Chris hadn't caught him.

"Lance! Come here!" Chris shouted, terrified by JC's behavior.

"I'll be out in a second, I'm getting dressed." Lance answered, yelling through the bathroom door.

Chris sat JC down on the small sofa near the door. "Fucking hurry up Lance. There's something wrong. JC's sick or something." He said, in a calmer tone, hoping to get JC to relax.

Lance worried by the fear in Chris's voice rushed from the bathroom, tugging his shirt on. "What's wrong?" He asked, dropping to his knee's in front of JC.

JC's face was pale. His eye's had a vacant empty look to them. "It's all my fault. I did this. God! You have to stop him Lance. Go, now. Go, stop Justin." JC ordered, pushing Lance toward the door.

Lance felt his heart begin to pound with fear. He wasn't sure what was wrong with JC, but something had him acting crazy. "JC, calm down. Is something wrong with Justin? Is he ok?" Lance asked, speaking slowly. He wanted to rush next door and check on Justin, but he couldn't leave JC like he was.

JC continued trying to push Lance toward the door. "Go Lance. Go, fix Justin. I broke him. Go!" He said, his voice nearing hysteria.

"Broke him? What are you talking about JC? Did you hit Justin? Where's Joey? Is he with Justin?" Lance questioned, finding it hard to keep his cool the more worried he became.

JC growled, pushing Lance toward the door. "Go now!" He ordered, opening the door and pushing Lance through it.

Lance looked at Chris over his shoulder. "Stay with him. Don't let him out of your sight." He instructed, leaving the room after Chris nodded his agreement.

Lance hastily made his way to the room that JC had just left. He began knocking before he even came to a complete stop.

Joey opened the door almost immediately. "Hey Lance, what's up? Why are you here so late?" He asked, eyeing Lance curiously.

Joey looked around the room over Joey's shoulder. "Where's Justin?"

Joey chuckled, "Yeah, nice to see you too. He's in the bathroom." he said, amused at Lance's uncharacteristic rudeness.

"Is he ok?" Lance queried, ignoring Joey's amused grin.

"He's fine. What the hell's wrong with you?" Joey asked, becoming alarmed by Lance's behavior.

Justin emerged from the bathroom. Glancing curiously at Lance. "Hey Lance, what's up?" He asked, smiling at his band mate.

"Was JC just here?" Lance inquired, becoming more confused by the minute.

Justin sighed at the mention of JC's name. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the floor.

Joey turned from watching Justin. He looked at Lance. "He was a little bit ago. Why?" He asked, concerned by Lance's obvious upset.

"What the hell happened? He's a fucking mess. I'm talking seriously freaked out or something. He's like hysterical." Lance elaborated, looking from Joey to Justin.

Justin jumped quickly from the bed. "Is he ok? Is he hurt? What's wrong with him?"

"He's fine, physically. Mentally and emotionally he's a wreck." Lance said, calming Justin before he had another friend freaking out.

"Shit" Joey groaned, sitting heavily on the end of the bed.

Justin leapt from the bed, heading toward the door.

Lance stepped in front of Justin. "Justin, you can't go over there."

"Get out of my way Lance." Justin growled, shoving Lance to the side.

"Justin, if you go over there now you'll just make everything worse." Lance warned.

Justin stopped, dropping wearily onto the sofa. "What am I supposed to do Lance? Nothing is working. We tried your plan, obviously it didn't work. JC still isn't any closer to wanting me. He doesn't want me but he doesn't want anyone else to have me either. It's not fair Lance. Am I supposed to wait forever for JC to decide that he wants me and only me? I can't keep doing this. I can't watch him with other men. It hurts. Every time I have to see him with someone else, it feels like he ripped my heart out and stomped on it. What am I supposed to do?" He cried, burying his face in his hands.

Lance was startled by Justin's impassioned speech. "God Justin, I didn't realize how JC would react when I suggested you and Joey pretend to be together. I was wrong. You never should have done it. I never should have suggested it. I'm sorry." He said, sinking to his knees in front of Justin. He stroked his younger friends heaving back.

"We didn't really sleep together if that's what Josh thinks. We did some stuff while he was in here, but we stopped the minute he got out of bed. We weren't going to go any further. We were about to stop when he got up. I figured he didn't care, that or he wasn't awake." Justin explained, still staring at the carpet.

Lance lifted Justin's face up. "I know you didn't Justin. I know you aren't like that. I know Joey wouldn't take advantage of something like that and I know that you love JC."

"So what do we do now?" Joey asked.

"I'm not sure. I think it would be best though for the time being if you guys continue pretending to be together. JC will be pissed off if he finds out this was all set up. I'll think about this and we'll come up with something. For now you guys get some sleep. JC will be ok for tonight. He can stay with us. Don't worry about him Justin." Lance said, ruffling Justin 's hair as he stood to leave.

tbc?

Next: Chapter 16


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