Disclaimer: This piece of fiction contains homosexual materials. If you are underage where you live or you don't like that kind of thing, please go somewhere else. Like I just said, this is fiction. I do not know 'N Sync or their sexual tendencies.
Hey everyone! I am soooooo sorry that this chapter took so long, but I was stuck with a little bit of writer's block before Cele jumped me and insisted that I get moving. :) I have to say that I probably would have stopped writing the story all together had she not pushed me. So a big thank you goes out to Cele! Thanks girl! :) I'm just going to shut up now and let y'all read, how's that?
Oh, one more thing, please email me and let me know what you think about the story and this chapter in particular, okay? nsajscgirl@yahoo.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now or Never Chapter 10
The still form on the bed in front of him wasn't the Joey Lance was accustomed to. He was pale and lifeless, so unlike Joey. The Joey he knew was always smiling, always happy to see someone. Of course, he couldn't really be smiling since he was asleep. As Lance watched Joey's stomach rise and fall with each rhythmic breath, he thought back to what could have been prevented the night before last if he hadn't been so self-absorbed. He couldn't help thinking to himself that he had been such a selfish ass; if only he had gone out clubbin' with his friends as Joey had wanted, none of this would have happened. He would have been there to prevent Chris from being such an immature idiot; he could have stopped Chris.
"Don't you dare do that, Lance." Justin's soft voice, right beside his left ear, jerked Lance out of his thoughts.
"Wha..."
"Don't you dare blame yourself for this. There's no reason for you to," Justin said confidently. Lance shot Justin a shocked glance.
"How did you..."
"How did I know what you were thinking?" Justin finished for his lover. His eyes shown with amusement as he caught Lance's confused glare. "I know you, Lance. I know you well..." Justin trailed off in a whisper as he winked at Lance. The older man gasped and spared a quick glance towards Joey's prostrate form. "I don't think Joe is awake. Don't worry so much, Lance." Justin gave a small laugh and flashed his beautiful smile towards his companion, hoping to put Lance at ease. Lance frowned at Justin before reaching out to touch Joey's hand to reassure himself that Joey was indeed asleep. He relaxed noticeably once he saw that Joey's breathing remained steady. Justin watched the frown on Lance's face dissolve as Lance let a small, relieved laugh escape his lips. The couple exchanged a quick glance full of caring and love.
Momentarily, Justin thought back to the moment he had awakened that very morning to find Lance watching him closely. He had caught Lance unaware and the only word he knew to describe the look on the older man's face was love. Justin didn't know what to expect from Lance the morning after. Would Lance pretend that nothing happened or would he acknowledge the special night they had shared? Justin almost expected Lance to wipe the love off of his face and turn away. Instead, Lance surprised him by grinning slightly and reaching out a warm hand to rub his cheek gently. Lance's thumb rubbed over Justin's sensuous lips and, hoping to catch Lance off guard, he sucked the digit into his mouth. He would have laughed at the wide-eyes expression on his lover's face, but he was enjoying the salty taste of Lance's thumb too much.
A soft knock on the hospital door signaled JC's and Chris's arrival and Justin quickly pulled his thoughts away from the pleasure he had received that morning. JC shot Justin a confused glance once he noticed the blush that stained his friend's face. Justin simply shrugged to appease JC's curiosity and nudged Lance with his elbow to move him aside.
Justin noted the dark circles underneath the older man's eyes with sympathy. Chris looked like hell and it was obvious that sleep had been an elusive mistress for him during the night. The moment Chris's eyes settled on Joey, a dam burst inside of him. Chris wiped at his flowing tears desperately, angry with himself for breaking down. He shuffled to Joey's side slowly, almost painfully. To Lance, it looked as though his friend was carrying the weight of the world on his slim shoulders. Chris managed to muffle a sob as he picked up Joey's hand.
"J...Joe?" he croaked out. Chris watched Joey's pale face for any sign of awareness or change. When there was no response forthcoming, Chris's tears flowed unchecked from his eyes. A few teardrops fell from his face to splash on Joey's hand before Chris threw back his head to stop them. He blinked furiously for several moments until he was sure he had stopped the emotional flood. He sighed heavily and returned his small brown eyes to Joey's face. Chris wasn't sure he could deal with anything anymore. He had done this to Joey; he was willing to face that fact. He had nearly killed his best friend. It had all started off as a simple prank, something to laugh about later, but it had become so much more. He felt the comforting weight of someone's hand on his shoulder and he felt himself being pushed down into a chair one of the guys had moved closer to the bed. The chair was close enough for Chris to keep contact with Joey's hand and Chris looked up to find Justin standing above him. He offered his young friend a grateful smile, which Justin quickly returned before finding an empty spot on the wall to lean against.
Lance, who had watched the entire exchange, smiled to himself at Justin's thoughtfulness and caring. He looked around the room, taking in every detail as he perched on the sill of the large window of Joey's hospital room. The walls of the room were painted a hideous yellow color; obviously hospitals still refused to hire competent decorators. A couple of nondescript pastel paintings adorned the walls and the only other technology in the room other than the monitors attached to Joey was a small television set hanging from the ceiling. Since the set was turned off, the only other sounds in the room originated from the heart monitor beside Joey and JC's shoes as they squeaked rhythmically in response to his pacing. JC moved back and forth at the foot of Joey's bed, shooting concerned glances at Joe and Chris every so often. Chris, on the other hand, kept his focus on his best friend. The knuckles on his right hand were white, indicating that his grip on Joey's hand was painfully tight. Tears continuously leaked out of Chris's eyes and every so often he would mumble broken apologies for his actions. It was a painful sight for Lance to watch so he turned his attention to his young lover, only to find Justin's gaze locked on him.
A slow grin appeared on Justin's face once he noticed Lance looking back at him. Lance returned the grin without hesitation. "I love you," Justin mouthed silently, his blue eyes soft with emotion. Lance glanced around the room once, making sure no one witnessed Justin's declaration, before returning the gesture. Their silent communication was interrupted suddenly when a sharp knock sounded on the closed door. The young doctor they had talked to the day before entered the room with an apologetic smile gracing her lovely face.
"Good morning, gentlemen. I hope all of you got a fairly good nights sleep last night." Chris grunted in response and Lance could feel Justin's gaze on his face.
"Yes, Dr. Jenkins. Thank you, ma'am," Lance said to prevent himself from grinning at Justin. He felt a quick pang of guilt for thinking about the previous night's events while Joey was suffering in the hospital.
"Good, good. Well, I'm really pleased with Mr. Fatone's status. He slept through much of the night, waking up a few times to ask for y'all and his family. To tell the truth, if everything progresses normally and there aren't any major problems, I can see letting Mr. Fatone go home in a couple of days to rest comfortably," she said, trying to provide the depressed group with a bit of hope. She moved around the bed efficiently, checking the machines attached to Joey while scribbling notes on his chart.
"Oh, thank you so much!" Chris declared as he jumped up from his chair to hug the doctor. Lance chuckled at the surprised expression on Dr. Jenkins's face and stepped away from the window to share hugs with his friends. JC hugged him enthusiastically before moving to hug Chris without a second thought. Justin crossed the room to meet Lance and their hug lasted several more seconds than necessary. Lance wrapped his arms around Justin's waist and hugged him tightly to his body. He wanted to feel every strong inch of Justin that he could. They pulled apart reluctantly as the doctor excused herself from the room. Her next words brought reality crashing back down on the four young men.
"Well, now that I've delivered the good news, I have some more business to take care of. Those policemen that were here last night are waiting to speak to me, so I have to go give my statement now, if y'all will excuse me?" she asked politely before smiling at the group and leaving the room. The silence seemed to stretch for an eternity as each of the guys thought about what her words meant. It was only a matter of time before the police found out that they had been lied to; the doctor would unwittingly destroy that part of their story.
"Chris? Guys?" Joey's soft scratchy voice jerked the group back to the present and they all whirled around to find Joey staring at them through bleary eyes.
"Oh my God! Joe!" Chris exclaimed as he rushed back to the bed. He sat down in the chair and grabbed for Joey's hand. "Hey, how are you feelin'? Damn, man, I can't believe you're awake!" Joey smiled weakly at his friend's enthusiasm and looked around the room.
"Hey," Joey managed to whisper to the rest of the guys who gathered into a cluster behind Chris. Lance offered Joey a slight grin and returned the acknowledgment.
"Hey, Joey."
"Wha...What am I doing here?" Joe continued to whisper. It was obvious that the effort to talk drained a lot of energy from their friend so Justin urged Joey not to talk and offered him some water which Joey gratefully accepted. Chris looked on, his eyes full of guilt, noticing every grimace that crossed Joey's face.
Joey repeated his question and looked at each of his friends. One by one, starting with Justin, each of the guys managed to avoid his stare. Confusion was shown clearly on his pale face and his gaze finally came to a stop when his eyes lighted on Chris. He was a little surprised to find tears leaking copiously out of the older man's eyes. What surprised him even more was the immensely guilty look on his friend's face. He recognized that look easily, but he didn't understand why it was all over Chris's face and in his small, brown eyes.
"Chris, man! It's okay. I'm alive," Joey said, trying to reassure Chris. Chris simply nodded his head, unable to speak. He was unwilling to trust his voice not to crack, to remain strong.
Lance knew that they had agreed to tell Joey the story they had told the police and that Chris should tell Joey the truth in his own time. However, he found himself wishing fervently for Chris to do the right thing and tell Joey the truth first. He was positive that if the truth were withheld from Joey, it would definitely tear the group apart.
"Chris? Please! It's okay, everything's okay. It wasn't your fault!" With Joey's naive declaration, Chris broke down and began weeping. He lowered his head to the bed and allowed his forehead to rest on the cool sheets beside Joey's hand. Chris's slender shoulders shook from the force of his sobs and Joey looked at his friends with worry and confusion written all over his face. He place his hand on the back of Chris's head to provide comfort and Justin did the same by placing one of his hands reassuringly on Chris's back.
After several moments of this still picture, Chris shook off the consoling hands and lifted his head. He wiped at his tears and straightened his shoulders, his brown eyes coming to a rest on Joey. His friends watched his transformation with astonished eyes as Chris morphed from a broken man with a guilty conscience into a man that was about to face the consequences of his childish actions. There was only one unknown factor in this and that was Joey's reaction. The last thought that crossed Chris's mind before he spoke was that he could be losing Joey forever as his friend.
"I'm sorry, Joey," Chris stated simply as he held Joey's gaze. Before Joey could open his mouth to argue that it wasn't his fault, Chris continued, "I am so sorry, Joe. It really is my fault that you almost died. It is my fault that you are in the hospital right now. It's all my fault."
"Don't apologize, Chris. There's no need for you to feel guilty, it wasn't your fault," Joey interrupted, waving his hand in front of Chris's face to stop the older man's tirade. He smiled reassuringly at Chris while Chris frowned in response and grabbed Joey's hand almost roughly. The smile slowly melted from Joey's face as Chris kept talking.
"No, dammit. You're not listening to me, Joey. I did this to you. I added the roofies to your drink. I watched as you downed it. I watched and laughed; laughed, dammit! I laughed as I watched you swaying and falling apart minute by minute. It was me that did this to you, Joey. I put you in the hospital. I nearly killed you! Dammit, Joey!" By the end of his tearful confession, Chris was yelling into Joey's face. JC leaned forward and pulled Chris back down into his chair by a firm hand. Chris collapsed into the chair, sobbing into his hands. Lance watched as hundreds of emotions flashed across Joey's face starting with confusion, then disbelief, to hurt, and to anger only to start the emotional roller coaster all over again. He still didn't know what Joey's reaction would be and it scared him beyond belief. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Welp, that's all folks, for right now anyway. :) What will Joey's reaction be and what will the police find out? It'll all come up in the next chapter, so sit tight, okay? Please email me and let me know what you thought! nsajscgirl@yahoo.com