Disclaimer: This is a piece of fiction, which means that it's not real. I do not know *N Sync or anything about their sexual preferences. If you are underage where you live or you don't enjoy homosexual fiction, please leave.
Hi everyone. Not a lot to say about this chapter except that I hope you enjoy it. This one's short but I had a hard time finding a place to stop it. Thanks to Cele for beta-ing. :) Oh, one more thing, I've started another story that I'm going to be posting on Nifty. It's already up on my website if you want to read it there. It's called Prisoner of Love. Otherwise, I'll be sending it to Nifty within the next couple of days. Website: http://www.angelfire.com/boybands/nsajscgirl/index1.html Please email me and let me know what you think about this chapter and the new story. Thanks! Robin nsajscgirl@yahoo.com
Previously on Now or Never:
"I don't really want to talk about what you did or why you did it right now. I don't understand what you were thinking when you drugged Joey and I don't think that I can talk to you about this reasonably. You hurt Joe, probably more than you know, and along the way, you changed our lives completely. You didn't seem to give us, your best friends, a second thought when you slipped that drug into Joey's drink." JC paused and took a deep breath. He ran thin fingers through his dark hair. "I really can't talk about this, Chris. Go see Joey...he's waiting for you," JC said before standing abruptly and exiting the waiting room. Chris slowly followed the lanky singer, his head bowed. JC had disappeared down the hallway and Chris made his way to Joey's room, nervousness twisting at his stomach.
Now or Never Chapter 15
The only sound echoing throughout the nearly empty hallway was the squeak of Chris's sneaks until he came to a stop at Joey's closed door. He nodded at the hulking figure of the bodyguard sitting across from Joey's door that had been assigned to Joey and the guard nodded back. As Chris stared at the door, he realized that his palms were sweating and he wiped them roughly on his jeans. Chris could hear the sounds of some daytime talk show through the door. He slid to the side of the door, turning around so that his back was to the wall. With his eyes closed and his head resting against the wall, Chris took in a deep breath, steadying his nerves. He got the uncomfortable feeling that this...this meeting was going to change the rest of his life. A young nurse in festive scrubs passed Chris on her way down the hall and she gave him a sympathetic smile. He managed a glimmer of a smile and she nodded to him, her eyes twinkling. The guard's imposing face cracked into a reassuring smile and Chris slowly released the air that built up in his lungs. The sound seemed especially loud in the quiet hallway. 'It's now or never,' Chris thought with trepidation. He swung himself around until he was facing the door and without another moment's hesitation, he raised his hand and wrapped his knuckles on the door.
"Come in," he heard Joey say through the wood. With one more deep breath, Chris pushed on the handle and the wide door swung open silently on its hinges. Joey was sitting up in bed, a tray table hovering above his waist. His eyes were focused on the TV as he spooned another mouthful of Jello into his mouth. Joey's dark hair provided a stark contrast to his now pale skin and it stood at odd angles from his head.
"Joe?" Chris asked softly. He watched with fascination and a hint of sadness as Joey froze.
"I thought you were JC or one of the nurses," Joey mumbled around the Jello in his mouth. He swallowed roughly before placing the cup of Jello on the tray and pushing it away from his body. After a moment's hesitation, he turned to face Chris. Chris had stopped in the entrance to the room, unsure whether or not Joey actually wanted him there. "You can still come in though," Joey said softly. Chris nodded and moved further into the room. He walked the outer perimeter of the room and went to stand beside the large window that graced the opposite wall. Joey's brown eyes were intense and they watched every move Chris made until the older man stood still, leaning his hip against the windowsill. Once Chris realized that Joey was watching him, he lowered his head in embarrassment and shame. Silence filled the room, neither one of them willing to be the first one to speak.
Joey knew what would come out of Chris's mouth...apologies. He also knew that Chris would mean every word he said but that didn't help Joey's confusion. Throughout the night, he kept asking himself why Chris would have done something like this to him. Chris was supposed to be his friend, his best friend, and if Joey could not count on that, what could he count on? He was as confused as hell. He should have been mad with Chris and he should have decided never to see him again. But Joey couldn't do that to the group. He knew that if he forgave Chris it would be for the group and not for himself, at least initially. 'Of course I'm going to forgive him...I have to,' Joey thought to himself as the silence lengthened in the room. 'There really isn't any other option.' Maybe later he would be able to truly forgive Chris on a more personal level but that was going to take a lot of time and effort on Chris's part. Chris would have to work hard to rebuild the trust that Joey once had in him. They would start by getting things completely out in the open. Joey had heard Chris's confession the night before but he knew that it would help for him to hear it again and to try and understand what Chris had been thinking. Joey cleared his throat and Chris lifted his head to meet his friend's questioning gaze.
"Why?" At Joey's question, Chris eyes became watery and he sniffled, wiping the back of his right hand across his face. "Tell me why you did it again." Chris stared at Joey for a moment before nodding. He didn't know why Joey requested him to go through it again, but he would if that's what it took to get his friend back.
"It was just a joke, Joey," Chris said softly, lowering his head again. "Jokes can sometimes get out of hand, you know that." Chris paused before raising his eyes to meet Joey's once more. "You remember that time in Germany when we...well, I decided that it would be hilarious for us to spread cold water all over the floor of Justin's bathroom while he was taking a shower? You remember how he was singing that stupid Vanilla Ice song? "Ice, Ice Baby"?" Joey allowed a small smile to cross his face as he remembered Justin rapping to the song while he was in the shower, unaware that both Joey and Chris were in the bathroom with him. He nodded at Chris. "When he got out of the shower he slipped and we just thought it was funny as hell. It could have happened totally different. He could have really hurt himself."
"But Chris...water on a floor is one thing, drugs in someone's drink is something else entirely," Joey said harshly. Just remembering some of the jokes he and Chris had played on the others brought out conflicting emotions in Joey. Now that he thought about it, half of the shit they pulled on JC, Lance, and Justin could have seriously hurt someone. 'But no one was hurt,' Joey reminded himself. He also made a mental note to knock off the practical jokes from then on.
"I know that, Joey. God, don't you think I know that?!" Chris exclaimed. He threw his hands up in frustration before crossing them and hugging himself tightly. "I do know that, Joe. It got out of hand. I honestly thought it was gonna be funny and that when you woke up in the morning, you'd think it was funny too. I was drunk and I wasn't thinking straight at all. I was just ready for a good laugh. Believe me, I never...NEVER meant to hurt you. How many times do I have to apologize, Joey? Two? Ten? A million? I will as many times as it takes. I'm sooooo sorry, Joey. I could have lost you and I don't want to even think about that. That's something I couldn't even imagine in my worst nightmares because you are my best friend." Chris's desperate words seemed to have little effect on Joey and Chris couldn't help the sob that escaped his lips. Joey stared at him resolutely, daring him to beg more. He started to open his mouth and plead with Joey to forgive him but was interrupted by a soft knock at the door, which was cracked slightly.
"Good morning," Dr. Jenkins said from the hallway as she pushed the door open completely. As she stepped into the room, Chris and Joey shared an unsure glance. They both wondered how long she had been standing there. "I'm just coming in to check on your stats," she explained as she walked to Joey's bed. She pulled a clipboard out from under her arm and smiled at Joey while she started checking the various machines that surrounded him. "So, how are you feeling this morning, Mr. Fatone?" Joey returned her smile before answering.
"I'm fine, doctor. But it's just Joey, okay?" She nodded and glanced over at Chris who was watching her movements absently. It was obvious to her that he wasn't completely there.
"Did you sleep well last night?"
"Um, not really. I couldn't fall asleep," Joey said.
"Well, if you still can't go to sleep tonight, we'll give you something to help you out, okay?" Joey nodded and she continued to move around the bed, occasionally scribbling down something on Joey's chart. Once she finished, she stood at the foot of Joey's bed, her stance uncertain. After a moment of silence, she came to a decision and looked at Chris before speaking. Chris's head was bowed as he studied the shiny tiles of the floor until her words caught and held his complete attention. "Well, now I know that it wasn't a suicide attempt, I'm a little relieved, but at the same time I'm a bit horrified." Chris and Joey shared another glance, this one nervous. There was no doubt in Chris's mind that the doctor had been standing at the door several minutes before she announced her presence. A shiver of fear streaked throughout Chris's body as his brain processed exactly what that meant. She could, without hesitation, go to the police with this new information and in the process destroy the story they had given the police. "I like a good practical joke as much as the next person, but don't you think drugging your best friend's drink is a little..."
"I don't need you to tell me that what I did was stupid, Doctor!" Chris bit out, anger burning in his eyes at this woman's lecturing. She bit back a response and nodded at them before walking back towards the door.
"Doctor!?" Joey called out hoping to stop her before she left.
"Yes?" she asked, resting her hand on the steel handle of the door.
"Are you going to tell the police what you heard?" he asked softly, willing her to turn around and face them. She did turn around slowly as she thought about her response. Joey's soft brown eyes pleaded with her silently. Chris held his breath as he waited for her to speak.
"No, I'm not," she said finally after a moment of silence and she couldn't help but notice the sighs of relief that echoed throughout the room. "I'm not going to tell the police this because it's obvious to me that you," she paused, looking pointedly at Chris, "know that what you did was stupid and I'm pretty sure that you've learned your lesson...at least from what I heard. This is something the two of you have to work out between yourselves and I think outside involvement would just add to the pain and anger. I'm just guessing but I don't think you are going to want to press charges, right?" Joey nodded and she continued, "There is one condition though."
"What condition?" Chris asked.
"I won't tell the police what happened as long as both of you get help. From what your friend said earlier, it's obvious that you don't have any problems with popping drugs at parties and parties are a constant thing for you guys. Drugs have this sneaky way of catching up to you without you even noticing it, trust me. So all that I ask is for you to please get help, okay? That's my one condition and believe me, if I find out that you haven't seen anyone about your drug problems, I'll make you pay." She stared at them intently until they both nodded solemnly to her. With that said, she smiled and opened the door quickly, exiting with a flare.
After the doctor's departure, the door swung shut behind her and the silence lengthened throughout the room. The two men ignored each other's gazes and stared at everything and anything but each other. That had been a close call...too close in Chris's opinion. He still wasn't completely sure that the doctor would keep her discovery to herself, but he had to trust her and hope that she would keep her promise.
"Well, I guess she didn't give us much of an option, huh?" Chris said, half-jokingly, half-serious. Joey's gaze stopped roaming and he looked at his "friend" in disbelief.
"No, she didn't." Joey's clipped tone captured Chris's attention and he returned Joey's glare. He threw his hands in the air.
"I didn't mean anything by it, Joey. She's completely right and I'm relieved that she decided not to go to the police as long as we get help."
"I don't need help, Chris," Joey bit out before he could stop himself. He couldn't help the feelings welling up within his body. He felt betrayal, anger, and helplessness boil inside of him and he lashed out at Chris because Chris was the cause of those feelings. "If anyone needs help, it's YOU! You almost killed me and you sit back and claim that it was just a fucking JOKE! A joke that could have killed me." His voice had raised steadily until he was shouting at Chris, his right hand jabbing at the older man to make a point. Chris stood still under Joey's onslaught, shock filling his dark eyes. He knew that Joey had every right to yell at him, but Joey was...Joey and Joey didn't do those things. "I was fucking fine until you decided to play a little joke on me, Chris! You're the one with the Goddamn problem!" Joey paused, his chest heaving from the exertion. Tears were burning at the back of Chris's eyes as he processed what Joey was saying. The door swung open suddenly to reveal JC, who was panting as if he'd run all the way down the hall.
"Joey, the whole hall can hear you!" JC managed to hiss after he shut the door behind himself. Joey glared at him resolutely before turning back to Chris to continue his verbal attack. "Joey," JC warned sternly. Once he was sure that Joey would keep his words to himself, JC turned cold eyes to Chris. "I think it'd be a good idea if you left now." Chris looked at Joey's flushed face and nodded. As Chris made his way towards the door, he paused beside JC. He turned around to face Joey and waited patiently for Joey to return his gaze.
"I really am sorry, Joey. I'll apologize a million times for what I did, although I know it won't make up for what I did. I'll be the first to admit that I have a problem with drugs and alcohol, but Joey, I'm not the only one," Chris said softly as Joey's deep brown eyes met his. "I'm so sorry," Chris managed to say again as tears started to spill down his cheeks. He stared at Joey for another moment before he turned on his heel and left the room without sparing JC another glance. JC stared after Chris until Joey's quiet sobs filled the room. He turned towards his friend and quickly moved to the bed to offer Joey as much comfort as he could.
**
(Lance Bass residence...)
Sunlight filtered through the large open window in Lance's living room. It washed away all the romance that the shadows had provided the night before, but neither man asleep on the floor cared. The fire from the night before had died out, leaving a chill in the room, but Lance had evidently gotten up during the night to cover them with a blanket Justin discovered as his eyes fluttered open. He blinked against the bright light and shifted on the rug. His arms tightened around Lance's waist and he took the opportunity to watch his lover. 'Sleep suits Lance,' Justin decided silently as his ocean blue eyes roamed Lance's smooth, unlined face. He marveled at the innocent quality Lance's features held while he was sleeping. Justin unwrapped his right arm from Lance's body and used it to reach up and touch Lance's cheekbone with the tips of his fingers. The skin was amazingly soft beneath Justin's touch and he watched in fascination as Lance's lips parted slightly, exhaling. The feelings of contentment and wonder that Justin was feeling had the power to be overpowering and he smiled to himself as he realized that Lance was his. Last night had sealed it...he belonged to Lance and Lance belonged to him.
"Good morning," Lance said softly, catching Justin unaware. Justin discovered Lance's amazing eyes staring back at him. He smiled softly and bent his head to kiss Lance gently.
"Good morning," he replied as he pulled back. Lance smiled and snuggled closer to Justin. He closed his eyes once more and reveled in the feeling of Justin's lean body against his. Justin's soft silky hands danced over his back, rubbing soothing circles into his muscles and Lance allowed his hands to come up and caress Justin's chest. His hands made their way up to Justin's face where he cupped Justin's cheeks and brought his head up to kiss Justin again. They both froze in their positions as the sound of the front door opening penetrated their thoughts.
"Oh fuck," Justin muttered as he sat up quickly. He looked around frantically and caught sight of Lance who was looking just as terrified as he knew he must look.
"L...Lance?!" Chris's voice called out from the foyer and the lovers shared a look of horror. This is not how Justin imagined announcing their relationship to the guys and Justin's heart started to beat faster as he jumped to his feet and looked around the floor for his pants. Lance sat there on the floor, seemingly frozen into a sitting position. He looked up at Justin in shock, waiting for the moment Chris would step into the living room. Justin was tugging his pants up over his thighs when Chris walked into the room. To his credit, he didn't scream or stalk out of room immediately. Chris's small eyes took in everything from Lance's naked form hidden underneath the blanket to the dozens of candles that littered the room, most of the completely melted. He watched Justin search for his shirt and Lance's eyes close in embarrassment. Chris knew exactly what was going on. He didn't even have to ask, but he did anyway; he couldn't help himself. "What the hell?"
tbc... Please email me and let me know what you think! nsajscgirl@yahoo.com