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Chapter 5: The Diner
Ryan and I headed up the short in the direction of the dirt path that lead up the hill to the main road. From there, Ryan said it would be a few blocks until we hit the diner -- and he promised it would be a workout.
We were only at the beach for 90 minutes, and it had already been quite a day. I saw a handful of dudes my age and older naked at the beach and in various other states of undress. I saw Ryan get completely naked. I got a killer sunscreen massage from Ryan that, hopefully unbeknownst to him, gave me one hell of a no-touch orgasm. I got to touch Ryan all over during his own sunscreen massage. And to top it all off, I secretly saw Ryan getting head from his beach buddy Colin farther up the shore.
"Soo..." Ryan said, breaking my concentration of thoughts as we walked toward the dirt path. "What'd you think of today?"
"Yeah, it's been a good day," I said, staring at the ground as we walked. "A...good...day."
"It's about to get better," Ryan said.
How so? I thought. "How so?" I asked.
"This diner we're going to? The food is bomb!"
"What should I get?"
"Well," he began, putting his hand under his chin and tilting his head in contemplation. "The steak sandwich is pretty good. They grill both sides of the bread, and the cheese melts perfectly."
"Sounds kind of...heavy," I replied. "Delicious, but heavy. Do they have anything lighter?"
"Yeah, you could get a salad, if you want to eat like a rabbit," he teased.
It's a diner. I didn't have high expectations for the food. But salad? No thanks.
"But if you're looking for something light, try the boca burger. It's like a regular burger but without meat."
"I know what boca is," I said, trying not to sound curt but almost certain that's how I was coming across. My voice, sometimes, has the vocal equivalent of a resting bitchface. I can't help it.
"Then you know how delicious it is?" Ryan asked.
"I know it can be, depending on how it's prepared."
"They make it with this toasted wheat bread, lettuce, tomato and cheese if you want it. Oh, and you have to get it with their special white cream sauce. Everything tastes better with white cream sauce!"
Oof, I thought. I bet it does. My cock twitched right when he said 'white cream sauce.'
I didn't respond for a few seconds. Ryan took that as a hint that he should proffer my tastes.
"What is it you like to eat?" he asked. "Like, what foods are you into?"
"I'll eat pretty much anything. I just don't eat much, that's all."
"Is that right?"
"Yeah. You'll never see me at a buffet. The opportunity is kind of wasted on me."
We reached the dirt path and started up toward the road. I took it as an opportunity to recount a story about my initial meeting with a buffet.
"This one time, my family decided to take a cruise. I was really little, and didn't really appreciate the opportunity. I can't even remember where we went. You ever been on a cruise?"
Ryan shook his head.
"Well, you're not missing much. Lots of seniors and families with kids."
"Weren't you a kid when you went?" Ryan asked.
"Yeah, but I've never really been into kid things," I admitted. "More into things like books, computers, the Internet, stuff like that. Anyway, so we're on this cruise ship, right? And there's like a dozen different restaurants. There's the main restaurant. And then there's these buffets, like three different buffet houses."
"Uh huh," Ryan said. We'd been walking a few minutes and my legs were already starting to hurt. Walking uphill -- definitely harder than walking downhill.
"Well, I guess they weren't really houses because we were on a boat."
"Uh huh."
"Anyway, I guess the vacation package we had was all-inclusive. All of our food was provided, we could eat at any of the restaurants we wanted, we just had to pay the tip and extra for alcohol. My parents got blitzed on that trip."
"Yeah, haha."
"So, the first night we're on this boat, my dad suggested we check out one of the buffets. Homestyle food. We get there, and my dad's like, you guys can get whatever you want. My brother Dan makes a beeline for the dessert and comes back with this plate piled high with sweets. My mom was like, you can have some of this after you eat some normal food."
"Uh huh."
"I'm four at the time, so my dad and I go together through the line. He's spending an insane amount of time checking out different foods. And I'm like, I just want some salad..."
"See! Rabbit! Bawk bawk bawk..."
I shot him a perplexed look. "What?"
"I told you, you're a rabbit!" he said with a huge grin on his face. "Bawk bawk!"
"What do you mean bawk bawk?"
"That's what rabbits say, right? Like in the commercial?"
"You mean the Cadbury egg commercial?" I asked. He nodded his head. "Dude, rabbits don't say 'bawk bawk.' It's a joke."
"What do they say?"
"They don't say anything, normally. The joke is, chickens lay eggs. Rabbits don't."
Ryan looked confused. I moved on.
"Anyway, so all I want is some salad, some french fries and some juice. Or something like that. And I'm getting impatient because my dad is sampling all of the meat and bread and stuff. Takes about 10 minutes, but we get our food, sit down at the table and we all start eating."
"Uh huh."
"So I finish in a few minutes. Mom, Dad and Dan finish their food and they get up to get more, and Dad's like, come on Jamie, we're going to get some more food. But I didn't want any, I wanted to stay at the table."
"Yeah."
"Well, actually, I really just wanted to get out of the restaurant and go back to the room and finish my book..."
"You were reading at four?" Ryan asked.
"Not, like, chapter books," I said. "But yeah, I was reading books. Kid books, you know?"
Ryan looked at me. I shrugged. "I'm smart I guess."
"Go on."
"So I want to stay at the table, right? I'm four, so my parents can't just leave me there. This causes a big ruckus, because someone's got to stay with me. And by someone, I mean someone adult. Nobody wanted to leave Dan with me because he'd probably forget all about me and dive straight into the sweets."
"Right."
"So Mom and Dad are bickering about who is going to stay and who is going to get more food. And Dad says something I'll never forget. He's like, we spent all this money prepaying food and all he wants is salad and juice?"
"Why did that stay with you?"
I thought about it for a moment, trying to figure out exactly how to phrase what was going through my mind. After a few seconds, it tumbled out: "I guess...I guess that was the moment I realized I was kind of the odd one out in my family."
"Oh," Ryan said. I looked over at him. It was one of the few times he didn't have a grin or even a smile on his face. I worried I might've lost him, until he said, "well, why do you think that is?"
"I guess because we're into different things," I admitted. We reached the road and started up it for the diner. "I remember they were so excited for that trip. My dad later talked about how much money he and Mom had to save up. I felt kind of guilty after that."
"Yeah, I bet."
"But, on the other hand, I figured, why couldn't we do something we'd all enjoy?"
"What would you have enjoyed?"
"Probably staying at home," I said. "Doing something at home. Playing on my computer or something."
"That doesn't sound like a fun-together activity," Ryan said.
"No," I admitted.
We arrived at the diner, a retro-style hole-in-the-wall eatery that looked pretty much like any diner you might stop at during a roadtrip. A waitress motioned for us to sit anywhere we'd like. We took some menus and headed for a booth in the back.
"Maybe I'm just a brat," I said, pretending to gloss over the menu.
Ryan set his menu aside, not even consulting it. "You want to know what I think?" he said, his elbows on his table and his hands making a fist in the air.
"What?"
"Well," he began, "I don't think you're a brat. I just think you're...what's the word? You're...introverted."
"Sounds about right," I acknowledged.
"You just like doing different things. You like doing things by yourself. There's nothing wrong with that. As for the eating thing..." he paused for a moment. "I guess you don't need much to go. Nothing wrong with that either. Food is fuel. Eat until you're full. Just because your parents and your brother like to eat until they feel like puking doesn't mean you have to."
"Yeah, I know." I settled on the soup and sandwich special and put my menu aside. The waitress brought us two waters, promising to be back to take our orders in a few minutes.
"May I ask you a question?" I asked.
"You just did," Ryan said, his grin returning. "But shoot."
"Well," I began, pausing briefly. "You didn't seem to remember me yesterday when you threw your frisbee at me. But then you gave me your number. And we met up today. And today's been great, but...why me? Talk about different people. We..." I moved my index finger back and forth between us "...are pretty different people. You're, like, cool. And I'm...me."
Ryan laughed. "You're you all right!"
A faint smile spread across my face. "No, but seriously. Why me?"
"Why not you?" Ryan said. "I get along with pretty much anyone. I love meeting new people. I love meeting different people too! They say variety is the spice of life. I'm a big believer i that. Variety in friends, especially."
"But you'd seen me in class before, right? You never said anything to me there."
"That's because I was too busy screwing around in class," Ryan said with a laugh. "Actually, not really. It might seem like I'm a jokester, but I do alright for myself grades-wise. I pass my tests anyway."
"Yeah."
"But just because I didn't say anything doesn't mean I didn't notice," he said with a wink.
The waitress re-appeared. Ryan ordered the steak sandwich with a diet Coke. I put my order in for the soup and sandwich special and told the waitress water would be fine. She jotted down our orders and walked away.
"You want to know what I think?" Ryan asked.
"What's that?"
Elbows still on the table, he rested his fist on the table. "I think you're a quiet guy. You like your bubble of isolation. You like doing things on your own. And that's what makes you a quiet guy. Shy people, people who like to be by themselves...they think if they're quiet, they'll sort of be pushed to the background when they're in a crowd. They think they'll be overlooked. But what they don't realize..." he raised his fist, pointing his two index fingers in my direction, "...what they don't realize is, by being quiet in a crowd, they actually stand out more."
I instantly understood what he meant by that.
"I feel awkward in social situations," I admitted.
"Yeah, but that's because you've never put yourself out there," he said. "You were a loner when you were four years old! And you ate salad? I mean, what the hell? Four year olds like...chicken nuggets and hot dogs and stuff."
I was starting to feel bad, something I think Ryan noticed.
"No no, I mean, like, salad is okay," he said, softening his tone. "Look, I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's okay to put yourself out there more. You're not socially awkward, you've just been by yourself so much that now you feel like you might screw up whenever you interact with someone, right?"
"Uh huh."
"Like, you're afraid you might screw something up by saying something wrong, and suddenly people will have a reason to hate you, so you just avoid giving people a reason to hate you to begin with. If you keep to yourself, nobody can hate you, because there's nothing to hate, right?"
"Something like that, I guess."
"Well, I'll let you in on a little secret." The waitress came back, setting down Ryan's diet Coke. He put a straw in his drink and took a deep sip before continuing. "People are not as harsh as you might think. A lot of people are pretty forgiving. In this life, people just want to have a good time. They want to have fun. People look for the good in other people. They want reasons to cheer for you, not reasons to hate you. But they hate isolationism. If you never give people a reason to like you, they won't."
"But, first impressions," I countered. "Those are important, right? What if your first impression is a bad one?"
"Hmm," he considered, his fingers returning to his chin, his head tilted toward the sky. After a few seconds, he looked back at me. "You're not wrong. First impressions are important. But even if you somehow fuck up on that first impression, you can still rebound. Might take a little trying, might take a little while, but people come around. Nobody holds a grudge."
"And what if they do?"
"Then, fuck 'em!" he said with a laugh. "Judgmental assholes. Who needs them?"
I laughed.
"And getting back to your question," Ryan continued, "I never went up to you in class because...well, I guess the opportunity just never came up. But after our chat at the beach, you seemed to remember me, and I thought you were pretty cool. Not too often I run into people out here from school. So I thought, fuck it, let's see where this goes!"
"Oh, okay."
"And I liked how you treated me too," he said as the food arrived.
I stirred my soup. "What do you mean by that?"
He took a bite of his sandwich. "Damn that's good. I mean, you didn't, like, suck right up to me when you saw me. You didn't treat me like I was one of the cool kids on campus, you didn't fawn all over me. You were just...yourself. Shy, a little reserved, kind of sassy." He smiled. "You were just yourself."
I took a sip of my soup. "Sassy?"
He laughed. "Okay, maybe that's the wrong word, but you know what I meant. And when you texted me last night, I thought, perfect opportunity for me to see if I can get you out of your shell. See if I can show you the friendlier side of life, show you that you can enjoy new experiences. You had fun today, right?"
"Yeah, definitely," I said. And I meant it. Everything, from the moment we hit the sand to the second I saw Ryan naked to witnessing his blowjob on the beach to the intellectual stimlation I was getting now. Ryan was hot. And he was smart too. In his own way, I mean.
"Would you have gone to the north end if I hadn't dragged you along?"
"Technically, you didn't drag me along," I said. "Dan dropped me off at the wrong spot."
"Oh, I don't think he dropped you off at the wrong spot," Ryan laughed. "I think he knew what he was doing!"
I laughed. "You're right. He did. He's always fucking around with me like that."
"Mmhmm," Ryan said mid-chew.
Speaking of which, I thought. I checked my phone. 2:50.
"Oh shit," I said.
"What?"
I sighed, looking down at my food. "Dan's picking me up at 3:30, he's gotta head back to town for dinner or something. I completely forgot about it."
Ryan checked his own phone. "Gotcha. Well, if yo uwant to head back to the beach, or just hang out some more, I can take you home. It's no big deal!"
I thought about it for a minute. "Nah, that's okay, thanks. I'd better go with him." Dan mentioned something about a surprise at home. I wouldn't want Ryan seeing...whatever that might be.
He shrugged his arms. "Suit yourself man. Standing offer!"
"Thanks," I said. I enjoyed taking with Ryan. He was easy-going and had some smart takes on life, at least based on the last hour or so.
"So you want to hear something crazy?" I asked.
"Always."
"So my brother picks me up from the beach yesterday, right? A few minutes after our chat. And I told him I ran into you."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, I told him you're a friend from class."
"I've moved up to friend status now, huh?" he smiled.
I laughed. "Anyway, so I told him I knew you from school, and he starts teasing me like crazy. Next thing I know, he says he has to grab something from the store. I'm sitting in the car waiting for him, and he comes out of the pharmacy with a bag for me. I look in and he's bought me condoms and lube."
Ryan laughed. "Oh my God, you're fucking with me."
I giggled. "I'm not fucking with you. This is the shit he does to me. Do you see what I have to deal with?"
"That...is fucking amazing!" Ryan chortled. "I wish I had a brother like that!"
"Eh, no you don't," I replied. "Trust me. He's completely unpredictable."
"He sounds like a lot of fun though!" Ryan said. "Seriously, that's a cool brother right there. How old is he?"
"20," I said. "He works for some startup here in the city."
"That's cool," Ryan said. "I'm an only child. What do your parents do?"
I finished my soup and started on the sandwich. "They co-own a restaurant in town."
"Oh, cool man. Which one?"
"The Steakhouse Downtown."
"Get the fuck out of here!" Ryan had the biggest smile on his face I'd seen. "I've been there! Your parents own that?!"
"Yeah, pretty much all my life."
"You ever have the chicken parmesan there? Oh man, of course you have, your parents own the place. That's, like, my favorite thing to order there!"
"Yeah, we actually had that last night," I said. "Dad brought it home. Dan ate with us. He mooches food from us like crazy. Twenty years old, lives on his own and still comes over to Mommy and Daddy's house for dinner."
"Nothing wrong with that," Ryan said. "Free food. And especially from that place. Food's a little on the pricy end. If I lived at your house, man, I'd be eating that food all the time!"
"Well," I said earnestly. "You know me now. So, you get the friend discount."
"Hooray! Fuck yeah dude!" Ryan put his fists in the air. I laughed.
I checked my phone again. 3 p.m. "Shit, I'd better let Dan know where to pick me up. What's the name of this place anyway?"
"Dick's Diner," Ryan said.
"...no, really." I said.
"No, really! It's on the menu!" He pointed to the logo I somehow missed.
Feeling brave, I attempted a joke. "So, you're eating Dick's Steak?"
He giggled. "Hey, you're eating Dick Soup."
"Correction," I pointed out. "I ATE Dick Soup!" And with that, my mind instantly went back to Colin sucking Ryan's dick at the beach. Fuck, why'd I go there? I felt my own cock stir in my pants at the thought.
"Well," Ryan said. "I'm sure it's not the first time."
I didn't really want to get into that right now. I felt an erection coming on already, and I wanted nothing more than to try to get rid of it. It's one thing to flaunt wood on the beach around a gaggle of naked dudes. It's another thing to do it in the aptly-named Dick's Diner in front of unwitting customers.
"So," I said, changing the subject while grabbing my phone, "I'd better text him my location." I punched a few keys in the phone, sending Dan a map of the restaurant.
A few minutes later, he texted back: "Dick's! LOL. I'm actually a few minutes away I'll be right there."
"Well, I guess he's on his way," I told Ryan. "He said he'd be a few minutes."
"No probs man," Ryan said, motioning for the waitress to come over. "We're ready for the check," he said.
The waitress returned with the bill: $12. Not bad for two meals and a drink. "I got this," I said, pulling out Dan's card.
"You sure man?" Ryan asked. I nodded. "Thanks!"
"No problem," I replied, noticing Dan's Rav-4 pulling into the parking lot.
We paid the bill, and I said my goodbye to Ryan outside the diner. Before we left, I reached into the passenger side of the car and grabbed the neon frisbee, passing it off to Ryan with a toss.
"Thanks man!" Ryan said as he turned to head back down the road toward the beach.
"So," Dan said as I got in the car. He was dressed in dress khakis, a pressed white shirt and a blue tie. Must've been a business meeting. "That's Ryan?"
"Yup," I said. "That's Ryan. Most of him, anyway."
"Where's the rest?"
"Under his clothes," I shot back at him.
"Ow, feisty!" Dan said, giggling. "I bet you'd like to see that?"
"Who said I didn't? After all, you dropped me off at the appropriate place."
Dan smiled. "Damn little bro! You didn't?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"That answers my question. So how was it?"
"It was chill," I said.
"Chill?"
"Yeah. Chill."
"Since when did you start saying chill?"
I shrugged. "Since when did you trade in your hoodie for a dress shirt and tie?"
"Hey," Dan said. "This isn't about me. But since you asked, we're in the middle of closing another round of funding for the app."
"There's millions of apps out there," I said. "Remind me again why yours is so different?"
"It's a matchmaking service. It uses a person's location to connect them with other people in their area with similar interests."
"So it's like Grindr?" I asked.
"How do you know what Grindr is?" I shot him a look. "No, it's not like Grindr. It's for straight people too."
"So it's like Tinder," I said.
"No, there's no swiping involved. You actually have to have conversations with people. And anyway, it matches you up based on your location and a series of short quizzes, so it's about personality too."
"So it's like OKCupid."
"No!" Dan was getting frustrated. "It's not like any of those!"
"So what's so unique about it?" I asked as we got on the freeway.
"It's an algorithm setting people up on blind dates. You can't upload a picture to your profile. You can't even send pictures in the conversation part. You send stickers and doodles instead!"
"So, you've created the first dating app for ugly people," I said. "Actually, now that I think about it, there are a lot of ugly people in the world. I guess I'd fund that."
"It's not for ugly people," he said. "Our algorithms are smart enough to match people up with similar looks and tastes in looks based on the quizzes they take."
"Uh huh."
"You just don't get it," Dan said, defeated. "This is why I make the big bucks and you're selling Solitaire and fart button apps on iTunes."
"I haven't coded shit in forever," I said. "And that was one card game. And it was blackjack."
"Whatever. You know how many blackjack apps there are?"
"About as many dating apps."
Dan sighed, getting more frustrated. "This Ryan guy rubbing off on you?"
"Like you said, I wish."
He smiled again. "Well played."
We pulled off the freeway onto the road leading to the house. "So what's this surprise?" I asked.
"If I told you, it wouldn't..."
"Don't say it," I replied. "You are the king of cliches."
Dan laughed as he turned into the driveway. "I'll see you later, little bro."
"Yeah, I'm sure I'll see you for your free dinner later tonight, Mr. Moneybags," I shot back.
As he drove away, I saw him mouth the word "asshole" through the windshield. But he said it with a smile. He said it with love. That's what was great about Dan. Even though he drove me crazy -- the pranks, the practical jokes, the teasing -- he did everything with love. So whatever surprise awaited me, I knew two things were true: It definitely had something to do with him, and it definitely was out of love.
I walked through the door and dropped my nylon bag on the doorway, stepping out of my shoes and feeling my bare feet on the linoleum floor.
I walked into the kitchen where I was surprised to see Dad home from work. He was sitting down, elbows on the table, fingers crossed into each other. He looked straight at me, with a look like he'd been waiting for me to get home.
And on the table in front of him: A white paper bag, a box of condoms and a bottle of lube.
Woah! Great way to end the chapter, right? Let me know what you think, I love hearing from you guys and your experiences: cullen.dyer@gmail.com. Where will things go from here? Stay tuned to find out!