Hey Guys, what's up? Nothing? That's good. Keep it that way.
Before I can say much more, I have to thank all of my proofreaders, KB, Jamie, Danni, Lauren, Amanda, Sean, Brad, Brian T., Chris, Justin, and ::coughs::, Brian B.
I want to thank KB for his support and helping me write a title for the story.
I want to thank KB, Jamie, Lauren, and Sean for the inspiration and help that they have given me.
I really want to thank Adrian and KB for being the rocks in my endless sea of emotion. ::shrugs:: They gave me what I needed most: a friend.
And I would like to thank everyone for supporting me in my times of need, especially when I decided to come out to my friend. It's a big decision, and not to be taken lightly.
Also, people have a habit of telling me I have a problem with writing dialog because they can't follow who is talking? Well...just follow the rule: A new paragraph means a new speaker unless it is otherwise directed.
Eh, you know all the legal stuff: Read it if you're over 18, don't if you're not.
Any sexuality that is depicted in this story is untrue unless otherwise stated publicly. (In other words, they're all made up)
The characters in this story are not real, just figments of my imagination. Really!
Oh! And, email me! ::evil grin:: SaetanSaDiablo@aol.com
IM me or whatever, all criticism welcome. Except if you say you can't follow my dialog, because my friends, and a few others, can. Simply put: A new paragraphs means a new speaker. ::shrugs:: Simple enough rule, right?
One More Try
By Corrado
Have you ever sat down and wondered if things happen for a reason? If there really is such a thing as fate? I guess I have...but that's what brings me to this story.
One night, a long time ago, I was surfing around on Nifty. For those of you who do not know what this is...it's an archive of stories. Ranging from your first sexual experience, to long winded love stories.
But there's something else about this archive, it's not just sexual experiences. There's something...different. It's not just experiences, or fiction. There's love...there's hate. But there's a few different categories...I won't go into it now, but there's a category called `Boy-Bands.' It's a part of the archive with stories about the Backstreet Boys, NSync, and other lovely stories. Some are just one night stands, others are love stories about someone falling in love with the celebrity...and everything turning out right. If only life worked like that.
I must admit though, some of those stories are pretty great. There are some very talented authors there. I mean, I myself am not one of them. Sure I submitted a story...or two...(or five) but that's because I wanted to try and write something in that particular genre. My first story was about Brad, (the main character, not modeled by me except in personality and experiences) who fell in love with a boy-band member named `Brian Littrell.' But as I neared the middle of the story, I started to fall more toward Kevin Richardson, so I decided to drop Brad and go with another story...
But that story I didn't submit to the archive. I don't know why, I just felt that it wasn't finished. I just felt like there was something I should be doing with it, and not sending it to the archive. So I didn't. So I put that story aside on a disk and put it in my underwear drawer in my dresser. And I started another story...only this one was about myself, falling in love with an author who really did know how to write. But after awhile that story grew out of my reach and I felt myself reaching for the story with Kevin.
I knew there was always something about that story, something that was missing and that it wasn't quite right...but I didn't know what! For three days I didn't sleep or eat, only drank and tried to write. But I never could get in touch with that story again. So I just put off to the side and went back to work on the story of real life.
It's amazing though, what people would do for love. I mean, I've had different lovers over the years, I'm twenty-six after all. I'm not virgin, but I'm no slut...I'm just like any of you, I guess. Wandering the different paths of life looking for a love that I doubt I'll ever find.
Depressing, huh? I guess if you put it that way it is kind of depressing.
But what am I to do? Just sit around like a good boy and watch my friends find love and get married and have children and basically, get lives?
It's amazing, sometimes. To watch the people you played with as a kid grow up and get married...and find them pregnant months later. Time doesn't stop for anyone, and it took me years to figure that out. I just wish I knew that as a child.
But I guess it's all something we need to learn. It's something that takes time for us to learn, but we learn it all the same.
But that lesson, might also be a lesson we learn when we first fall in love. Whether we know we fall in love or not. Because I fell in love with someone... didn't know I actually loved them until almost a year passed, but I loved him nonetheless.
I guess, by now, you already gathered that I was gay. If not, I hope that was the clue that announced it for you. I guess...
Well, I'm not gay. I'm bisexual...I guess. I'm not confused, because I know that I prefer men to women, but I wouldn't mind having a woman. I can sit there and tell you who's pretty and who's not...and a woman can turn me on. But a man...there's just security in a man that I can't find in a woman.
Love is a strange thing, most people don't notice the difference between love' and Love.' But then, some people don't know they're in love.
I guess that's why I'm telling you this story...because hopefully you'll recognize the one you're going to love forever like I did. It took me almost a year, but I did. Maybe you could find that person...sooner rather than later.
"Where the hell is my brush?" Kelly yelled from the bathroom. I wasn't paying particular attention to her ramblings, only do to the fact that this happened every Friday night. And I mean, EVERY...Friday night. "Well?" I heard her yell again. After a moment of thought I replied with a very witty remark. "Smart. Now where is it?"
"Right there." I pointed to the table next to where she was standing. She looked down and almost blushed. Her long blonde hair flowed over her shoulders as she chuckled.
"I'm really sorry, Dam." She said with a sigh. "I'm just worked up. You'll see why when he gets here." I laughed softly and fished around for my book. Just as I started reading again I heard a scream come from the bathroom. "Where the hell is my lipstick? Damien Scott Jones!" I rolled my eyes.
"In the basket by the toilet!"
"Oh." I heard her say before she went back to prettying herself up. After about twenty minutes, she emerged from the bathroom and stood right in front of me.
"Pretty." I said and went back to my book.
"That's it? Pretty?" She asked with one carefully plucked eyebrow raised.
"Yeah. Pretty. I'm gay. What do you want me to say?" I said with a blank expression on my face.
"You're far from gay. And I was expecting...'I want you to rape me right now.' as a response." Oh, is that all that she wanted?
"Oh. Well, yeah, I am gay. And you are very pretty. But I don't want to rape you, you're not worth going to jail over." I said calmly. She stood there for a moment.
"Prick." She said with a grin.
"Ass." I shot back.
"Jerkwad."
"Fuck nut."
"Bitch."
"Only to my boyfriends." I said with a laugh. She smiled and kissed my cheek.
"We'll just see about that."
I was just about to form a witty reply when I heard our doorbell ring.
"Ooh!" I mouthed with her, "That's him!" As soon as I started to laugh she glared at me. "I'll be good." I said with a grin. Of course, I didn't mean a damn word.
She stumbled with her high heels and walked over to the door. As soon as she opened it I was staring into a smiling pair of green eyes.
"Hello." A voice said. It was deep and centered at me. It filled my ears with so much pleasure...especially with that light southern accent!
"Hello." I replied with a goofy grin on my face. "C'mon in." I stepped out of the way. He smiled and stepped through. Following him was someone who had his strong jaw...but clear blue eyes and a serene quality.
"Hi." He said in an equally southern voice, just not as deep as the first.
"Hello." I said, a bit perplexed.
"Is Kelly home?" He asked peering over my shoulder. I thought then that this would be her date.
"Yeah, she's right here." I said as she pushed me out of the way. He took her hand and kissed her on the cheek.
"Hey Dam, this is Brian Littrell." I smiled as I shook his hand. "And this is his cousin, Kevin Richardson." I turned toward him, who happened to be taller than Brian, and shook his hand.
"Hello again, to you two." I said with a grin. Kevin laughed and grinned at Kelly.
"Y'all won't mind?" He asked with a grin.
"Not at all. Damien wouldn't mind some company, would he?" I laughed. Of course I wouldn't, especially with a hot...celebrity in the house.
"No, not at all. But...could you warn me next time when I'm gonna get grouped with someone? At least...next time I won't look like such a mess!" I said with a laugh.
"You don't look that bad." Kevin said with a smile. I raised an eyebrow and started to laugh.
"Thanks." I thought about what he said for a moment and added, "I think." With a slight laugh, I put an arm around his shoulders and leaned in toward him.
"Kevin, watch what you say." Then in a lower voice, "Kelly might get jealous." I laughed and ran behind Kelly and peeks out over her shoulder.
"Get your ass out from behind me before I kick it." Kelly said, obviously amused.
"Only if you promise to kick it really hard." I shot back. Apparently fortune must have smiled my way because that's when Brain decided to speak up and ask Kelly if she was ready. Kelly, flushed and grabbed her purse and keys. With a small smile, she placed a kiss upon my cheek and one on Kevin's, and walked out the door with Brian holding her hand.
"They're so cute together, don't you think?" My heart smiled, I frowned.
"He better treat her good. Damn good." I said sternly. Kevin smiled warmly.
"I know my cousin better than almost anyone...I know he'll treat her good." Upon hearing this, I smiled and placed an arm over Kevin's shoulders.
"Want to call for a pizza and watch some TV?" I asked with an evil grin. Kevin smiled back and me and shrugged his shoulders the best he could due to the fact that I had my arm around them.
After a few moments, I grabbed my wallet and the phone book, and proceeded to order a pizza. A large cheese one, to be exact. I wonder if it's true when people say that New York pizzas are the best, from what I've eaten, I would have to say so. They're so large and cheesy. But only if you order from the right place.
Meanwhile, Kevin had settled himself on the couch and was flipping through the channels. I jumped over the couch and landed right next to him. I grinned and said, "What's up, Sexy boy?" He gave me a weird look then dismissed me. I rolled my eyes and slapped him upside the head. "What's up?" He laughed and all of a sudden he was on me! I couldn't stop laughing, his hands were going everywhere, tickling everything. And I'm VERY ticklish. And he was able to keep it up until the pizza finally arrive. I grumbled something about stamina as I grabbed my wallet and paid for the pies.
We ate in pretty much silence except for the slight, polite conversation. We pretty much used up all of our energy wrestling. (Or rather, him tickling me. Me laughing.) I suddenly burped and excused myself. After a minute, he started to laugh. After a few more moments, he was sprawled out on the floor laughing his ass off.
"You know," I said a bit pissed, "All I did was burp. It's not THAT funny." He just looked at me and started to chuckle. His face was red with his excursion.
"It's not you, it's just...it reminded me of a time when Nick was eating...and he sneezed...Nick was eating spaghetti, anyway, he sneezed and the spaghetti came out of his nose. I don't know how, but that just reminded me of it for some strange and unusual reason. But enough about that, want some more soda or anything?" I shook my head `no' and finished eating my pizza slice. Every now and then I'd catch him giggling at me. I growled softly every time I heard even the slightest chuckle, and he'd stop immediately. I loved messing with him.
After a little bit, he and I settled down to a nice steady conversation about our past. I didn't really talk much about my past because...it wasn't bad, but it wasn't the best. I had abusive parents, and I grew up around a very homophobic environment. My cousin was gay, as were my uncle and his boyfriend. My family hated them and I loved them. But of course, I didn't tell Kevin that I was gay. I didn't know him that well.
"My father was pretty abusive." I said slowly. "Not just physical, but mental. He'd hit me, and trick me into thinking that it was my fault for making him hit me, and so I wouldn't talk back or anything. But there were a few times I did end up talking back, and we'd get into a fist fight. And I'd end up losing because I was afraid of hitting him. I loved him at the time. Though I didn't know it, I did love him. Is that sad?" I asked softly. I looked up into his eyes and saw some sadness in them.
"It's not sad, Dam. It's true. You needed a constant, even if it was the fights you had with your father. Everyone needs a constant, mine is joking with Nick. Because I know I can do it, and that there's a ninety percent chance of actually joking around with him. And with Howie, if there's a fight in the group, you can count on him helping us out." Up until that point, we never even acknowledged anyone even related to the Backstreet Boys, or his relationship with them. (The fact that he was one of them...) The subject was never brought up. I gave him a look for a moment and he must have thought I was puzzled when I wasn't. I was just...thinking. "You do know who I am, right?" I laughed softly when I heard him ask me this question.
"Of course! What kind of citizen would I be if I didn't know you were from that boy band, NSync?" He gave me a strange look for a moment before hitting my shoulder playfully.
"Dork. The Backstreet Boys."
"I knew who you were, Dorknut. I was just messing with you." He smiled at me, what a beautiful thing. I couldn't help it, I leaned over and grabbed him by the collar.
"Listen up, Buster. You're going to help clean up this mess or I'll sick Kelly on you. And you know I will." He gasped dramatically.
"Oh no! Anything but that! Anything!" He got on his knees and started to beg. "Please! I'll do anything!" That's a very tempting offer,' I thought to myself. But I quickly pushed all impure thoughts aside. For the moment anyway. I started to pick up the plates and as I went for the glasses, he slapped me hand away, mumbling something about how the glasses were his job. I set the dishes up in the dishwasher and turned it on. I'm not sure if you have one, but the dish washer I have, vibrates. A lot. It's like, Uhhhh....micro..ooorrrgaaassssmm...' (Micro-Orgasm for all you picky folks.) Anyway, I nudged Kevin out of my way so I could run and use the restroom. (I'm sorry folks, this has to be in here to. I aim to please, and I'm sure some of my readers get off on people either pissin' in the bathroom, or masturbating. Fortunately, Damien isn't gonna masturbate. I hope not, anyway.)
After I relieved myself and washed my hands, (A habit that was engraved in me, catholic upbringing.) I walked out into the kitchen and noticed Kevin rummaging through the refrigerator.
"Tequila rose is on the top shelf." I said. I must have startled him because he jumped and turned around.
"What?" He said with a loopy grin.
"Tequila rose is on the top shelf." He mouthed `oh' before he went back to searching for whatever it was he was searching for. I shrugged and sat down on the couch. And for some reason, I had a weird desire to take up writing the story I had started so long ago. I pushed the desire away again because I wanted to hang out with Kevin, not ignore him and write.
Kevin arrived back with two glasses and some milk. I didn't know what he was doing until he poured me a glass of milk and set some kind of pastry down in front of me.
"What the hell is this?" I asked with an evil little grin.
"Baklava." Was his reply. I picked up the pastry and took a small bite. It was filled with honey and nuts and was extremely good. I took a small sip of the milk, and to my surprise, it was Kelly's soy-milk! I raised an eyebrow and he grinned.
"It's disgusting, I agree, but it tastes good with the Baklava. Try it.." I took a small bite of Baklava, despite my body's craving for a bigger bite, and a small sip of soy milk. True enough, and strange enough, it tasted rather good. He gave me a queer little grin and I rolled my eyes.
"It's good." I nodded. "But it's not something I want to eat every day of my life." I smiled, showing that I was joking. It was good, in fact, I was going to out and buy some when I got a chance. I stood and leaned against the wall and stared at Kevin for a moment. "You're a dork." I said suddenly.
"I'm a dork?" He blinked up at me.
"Yeah. You're a dork." I said with some slight satisfaction. I don't know why I was satisfied by confusing the poor guy, but I was.
"Why am I a dork?" He asked.
"Because I said so. Isn't that reason enough?" I said smugly. I grinned to let him know I was joking, but I couldn't help but giggle a little.
"Yes. Oh Great One." He rolled his eyes.
"I told you before!" I picked up a rolled newspaper and slapped him in the back of the head. "You are to address me as Shena! Queen of the Slut People." I don't know why I said that, it just popped out of my mouth. And as soon as I said it, I covered my mouth. "Oh shit." I said with a giggle.
"Oh?" He said with an evil little grin. I decided I should play the part.
"Yeah. Get on your knees and bow to the royal scepter." I said trying not to blush and to keep serious. It didn't work. Because as soon as he got on his knees I started to bawl out laughing. He apparently couldn't hold it back anymore, because he was at my feet laughing his ass off. And before I knew it, I was down there with him. I suppose it wasn't funny, but at the time...it was hilarious.
"What time is it?" He asked after our fit of laughter was over. I looked at my watch and noticed it was only ten at night.
"Ten." I said as I yawned a little. The laughing and wrestling took a little out of me. "What's going on?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "What time should they be back?"
"Like...one in the morning." He laughed. "If I know my cousin, they'll be back around twelve, but if I know your friend, Kelly, I say around one, maybe two." I chuckled softly to myself. She did have a habit of staying out really late. Just as I started to think this, the phone rang.
"I got it." I said as I ran over and picked it up. "Hello, Inga's whore house. Sven speaking." Kevin slapped the back of my head and I kicked his shin.
"Allo? Sven? Theese is Inga." I laughed as Kelly's bad swedish accent came through the telephone. "I'm staying over with Brian tonight. Put Kevin on the phone?" I laughed.
"Well, fine bitch." I said with a laugh. "See if I want to talk to you again." I handed the phone to Kevin. "Queen Bitch wants to talk to you, and then her royal servant as well." I said knowing full well that Kelly could hear me.
"Yes your majesty?" Kevin's light southern accent made me shiver as he spoke into the phone. I heard a chorus of uh huh's' and yeah sure' and `no I don't mind' before he finally hung up. "You have an extra bedroom, right?" I laughed and rolled my eyes.
"I take it you, my man, are stuck here tonight, huh?" He nodded and blushed. I couldn't help but laugh. "I take it the royalty expected us to get along, and if we were killing each other by now, one of us would've been dead already. Therefore, they left us alone to get us talking so I wouldn't be home all the time and I'd actually have friends to hang out with?" He laughed and nodded again.
"I agree. They're scheming pricks." I nodded when he said that and chuckled softly.
"C'mon." I yawned. "Today's Saturday, so I don't have work tomorrow. Any specific time you got to be up? And I can lend you some clothes...and ..." I yawned again.
"C'mon. Let's get you into bed." I grinned softly and dragged Kevin upstairs.
"In the morning, I'll get you some clothes so you can take a shower. There's a new toothbrush underneath the sink in the bathroom. You can use that one, we refill it everyday because..." I laughed and nudged my chin toward the picture of Kelly, "Her many boyfriends." Kevin smiled at me and nudged me. I almost fell over because I was rather tired.
"Brian's her last." Kevin said with a grin.
"What makes you say that?" I asked, furrowing my brow.
"She told me." I laughed as he said this and pointed down the hallway.
"That door, on the left," He nodded, "is the spare bedroom." He nodded again, "And that room," I pointed across the hall. "Is where I'll be." He nodded again. I was beginning to think he lost his voice.
"Goodnight." He said as he started to take off his shirt and walk into the bedroom. I entered my humble, sparsely decorated room and stripped. Shutting the door and saying `goodnight' once more, I went to sleep on my bed.