Disclaimer:
All rights reserved. Other than downloading one copy for personal enjoyment, no part of this story may be reproduced or transmitted by any means, except for reviews, without the written permission of the author. The subject matter of this story deals with small penis life experiences, which includes sexual contact and humiliation. Some of the experiences are re-imagined from real life experiences of my own, or of friends with similar issues who have shared theirs with me. But much has been changed to make the stories more interesting. I haven't used any real names, and I certainly don't advocate that people who are different should be hazed or ridiculed for being different (quite the opposite). So perhaps there is some insight to be gained about what it is like for men who are under-endowed by society's standards, and who have been subject to some of these life experiences. Comments on the story are appreciated and may be addressed to the author at: dreamcat_dave@yahoo.com
This story contains some homoerotic subject mater, designed for the entertainment of mature adults. If you are not of legal age to read such material, or if you consider this type of writing to be morally offensive, then find something else to read. And, if you should decide to read this type of literature, neither this site nor the author will be held accountable for your actions.
CHAPTER 8: THINGS FALL APART
By the time Pee Wee got to school he had just enough time to get to his locker to get his books for his first period class. His self-esteem was still stinging from fact that his mother had just caught him having a wet dream. He was still blushing with that embarrassment.
As he approached the Sophomore locker bay a group of teens approached him. One of the girls said to the others, "Look, there he is!" and the girls all giggled. One of them said, "Hi, Pee Wee," as he walked by them. She held up a little finger, and Pee Wee understood the gesture and looked away, blushing. Then one of the boys in the group yelled, "Hey squirt!" after him and they all broke up into hysterical laughter. He didn't get the joke. Yet.
The Sophomore locker bay was packed full of students.
"It must have been Photoshopped. Can't be that small," he heard someone say as he entered. Pee Wee could tell something was up since he recognized some of them were Freshmen or Juniors who had no reason to be there. The kids were laughing about something, and as he approached he got a terrible sinking feeling as the kids around him looked, pointed, and laughed at his presence there. The crowd slowly parted allowing him to approach and the laugher died down into foreboding silence.
As the last kids stepped aside, allowing him a full view of his locker he suddenly realized what had attracted the crowd, and why everyone was looking at him. There on his locker was a still picture of him naked, masturbating, and in the throes of ejaculating on the restroom floor. A short clear arc of semen was frozen in time. There were several long ropes of Victor's thick white semen on his shoulders, chest and stomach. His right hand was a blur, stroking his short erection with just two fingers--just as he had been instructed. His left arm was stretched up. The way Randy had cropped the picture it looked as if Pee Wee had been holding the camera and taken it himself.
In contrast to shots of porn stars, the camera angle of this picture made his small penis look even more miniscule. His face was closer to the camera, making it larger and easily recognizable. The expression on his face showed him locked in orgasm, frozen in a look of dull surprise. His retinas were red orbs reflecting the camera's flash.
Someone in the crowd laughed and yelled out, "K-Mart shirt: $20.00, Backpack: $32.00, Having that picture you took of yourself shooting your load in the boy's room glued to your locker for EVERYONE at school to see: Priceless!"
As laugher rang out, Pee Wee remembered that moment, sitting on the restroom floor, and opening his eyes to see Randy holding the same camera from the bus and laughing at the pictures he had just taken. Randy had kept his promise about showing one of the pictures he had been using to blackmail Pee Wee. "Now one of them WILL get seen," he had vowed. But Pee Wee hadn't expected the picture would get displayed so large, or in such a public way. When he looked around at the faces in the crowd something inside him died a little bit. He realized that all these kids had seen him naked now, had been laughing at his small penis, seen his masturbate, had even seen him shooting seed! How could he ever face them again?
Pee Wee rushed forward in an attempt to cover the picture with his body. The photo had been printed out onto two sheets of letter size glossy photo paper and glued onto his locker door. He tried to peel off the sheets of paper, but all he accomplished was scratching the outer edge. Whatever glue had been used was holding them tight. He realized quickly that he would need a knife or something sharp to chisel the pages from his locker door.
"Pee Wee."
He heard a voice behind him, in the crowd of boys and girls crowded in the locker bay, and slowly turned around. He fell back against his locker trying to keep it covered as he turned to face Victor. Randy was standing just behind him.
"What do you want?" Pee Wee asked.
"Unzip." Randy said. "We wanna see if you're going commando or wearing tighty-whities."
Pee Wee hesitated, frozen in fear. The expression on his face matched that of the photo now peaking out from behind him as he slumped backward against the lockers. He was weighing the humiliation of unzipping and displaying his freshly shaven crotch to the boys and girls gathered in the locker room against the threat of being stripped should be fail to immediately obey a command to unzip and prove he was going commando to Randy or his cronies. This was too much. Too much!
Pee Wee's face and throat flushed red as reached down with a trembling hand and began to pull the key of his zipper downward. He dug deep inside trying to muster up some courage in the face of the growing group of students who were witnessing his humiliation.
"Unbutton your pants and open up." Randy said.
Pee Wee froze.
"Please!" Pee Wee implored. Randy just shrugged, and Pee Wee fully understood the meaning of the gesture, but could not bring himself to further expose himself. Some of his closest school friends were standing here, witnessing this new humiliation. How could he ever face them again?
It had taken everything he had just to unzip in the presence of all these students, not just boys from his class. The incident in the boys' restroom seemed almost secluded compared to this. This was more like . . . like the dream he had just had, the one where he got measured in the gym. The kids in the locker bay watched, some were snickering and laughing, some were standing quietly wondering what would happen next, and Pee Wee felt his body flush with embarrassment.
Randy said something that Pee Wee didn't hear over the roar of blood pulsing in his ears. As Victor closed the distance between them to pull his pants down, the bell rang and many of the kids there left. A few stood staring waiting to see how the situation might escalate, while a few others lingered like curious bystanders at a car wreck. Billy Jakes was among them.
"Strip him." Randy repeated to Victor, and the hirsute Hispanic boy grabbed Pee Wee's pants.
"No," Pee Wee wasn't sure if his sudden bravado stemmed from courage or fear of being stripped naked here in the locker room. He couldn't believe that Randy was doing this in such a public place. But Randy and his cronies had a reputation as school bullies, and no one was doing anything to help Pee Wee. In fact the crowd seemed to thin down a bit. He noticed that Billy Jakes was gone.
Pee Wee had the false hope that maybe someone went to get him some help. He had ambivalent feelings about that. But of course no help arrived. It was a life lesson Pee Wee had yet to learn: that bullies continue to bully because victims and bystanders allow them to get away with it out of fear.
George moved toward Pee Wee, more than willing to assist Victor in their assault on Pee Wee's clothes. Pee Wee felt a tug on his shirt and heard several buttons pop.
"Stop!" Randy said, and the two boys drew back from Pee Wee.
"I'll make you an offer you can't refuse," Randy said smiling, "You leave your fly unzipped the rest of the day, and you don't get stripped."
Pee Wee nodded without thinking about the conditions he was agreeing to. He wanted to avoid being left naked in the locker bay, at least one hundred yards away from any restroom he might try to retreat into. And he would be streaking by classrooms the entire distance. He almost didn't care anymore. He nodded again.
Randy stepped forward and grabbed his pants, grabbed hold of the snaps that fastened his pants above his zipper and forcefully pulling his zipper apart. Pee Wee felt the pants tear a bit at the base of the zipper. As Randy pulled the key down it broke away and he removed it.
"What . . .?" Pee Wee started to ask.
"Just makin' sure you keep your promise." Randy showed Pee Wee the broken key to his zipper, then threw it down and then buttoned Pee Wee's pants. His broken fly was gaping wide. "Hey freak, you really better learn your place."
Pee Wee pulled away from Randy, pressing back against his locker. Randy stretched his arms out and placed one hand on either side of Pee Wee's head, leaned in close to him. He drew back one hand and followed the opening on Pee Wee's shirt down from his neck, past the three missing buttons to the point where a button was fastened into an eye, circled a finger around the fastening and pulled hard, snapping that button free.
"Listen, Pee Wee," Randy said, pulling the last button on Pee Wee's shirt free, "You keep you eye on Victor and you do whatever he does, pose however he poses. And when Victor unbuttons his shirt, that's your cue to jerk yourself off. You start stroking you cock until you cum when you see him unbutton. You understand?"
"You want me to cum in my pants in class?"
"No, I expect you to whip it out of that open zipper and let your spunk fly wherever it lands." He had a sarcastic tone in his voice as he said the last part.
"You really expect me to do this?"
"Yes," Randy pinched Pee Wee's cheek between a thumb and forefinger. "Yes, Pee Wee, I do."
"Why?"
Randy reached down into his backpack and pulled out a white tank top, cut deep like a wife-beater, but with a narrower back, and with the words "Pee Wee Workout" and picturing a pre-school style cartoon bear exercising, printed in black and red and yellow. "Pee Wee" was also printed at the top of the back of the shirt. "Here," Randy said, "Put this on."
Pee Wee dropped his torn shirt, now devoid of buttons, and slipped on the skin tight white tank top. The bottom was too short to tuck in. It stretched to fit him snugly, showing much of his chest, and traveled low beneath his now hairless underarms, and with a deep oval down the back to show off his swimmer's shoulder blades. The shirt was so tight that his nipples made distinct pin pricks against the front. Pee Wee looked down at himself and realized that wearing that shirt and walking around with his fly open would only make him look even less like a man, and more like a little kid.
"See Pee Wee," Randy commented, reading his mind, "You look more like a 14 year old now. If you weren't so tall, you could pass for 12!" Randy then turned Pee Wee around to face his locker, "That's just one picture, Pee Wee! I got about thirty more," His eyes went mean, and he added, "And you ought to know that Victor is just waiting for me to give him the word to beat the holy crap out of you."
When Pee Wee looked at the picture of himself on his locker door Randy tapped the locker and said "Don't forget!" He swatted Pee Wee on the butt, "Now you better get to class, you're about to be late."
Pee Wee looked at his locker. He wanted to stay and peel off the embarrassing picture that had been pasted onto it. He looked at Randy with desperation. If he did what Randy said, and left now, that humiliating picture of him would still be there during the next class change and even more students would see it. A teacher might see it, or the janitor, or the principal! This was too much. Too much!
"Go!" Randy commanded.
And Pee Wee staggered out of the locker bay, gained momentum into a sprint down the hallway toward his first period class. The bell rang just as he crossed the threshold, and as he made his way to his seat several kids snickered, and he wasn't sure if they were laughing at his shirt or his open zipper. One girl was looking quite openly at his gaping zipper. He groaned again unconsciously, realizing just what she could see, and moved his backpack in front of his crotch to finish his walk toward a desk at the back of the room amid a wake of snickers, "Pee Wee's," and quiet whispers.
Right off the bat Old Mrs. Brown had them turn to a lengthy set of algebraic equations and start working on them. "Class," she croaked out in that broken staccato of a voice unique to old women who live with too many cats, "I want you to use the period today to practice. Turn to page 223 and work the problems in the practice section." There were days she said almost nothing in class, just sat there grading papers, allowing the students to work on assignments either independently or in small groups. Today she had a tall stack of papers she had to grade from tests she had given the day before, and she turned her attention to her own work.
Pee Wee looked across the aisle and noticed Victor look back over at him and then slide down in his seat a bit. Pee Wee copied the motion. Victor opened his Algebra book and started his work, then leaned back and crossed his arms behind his head in a relaxed position, looking up at the ceiling as if in thought. Pee Wee copied the pose, crossing his own arms behind his head and looking up at the ceiling. As he sat there he realized that the pose exposed his nipples right at the edges of the armholes of his new muscle shirt, and that it was also showing off his freshly shaved armpits, a fact that got underscored when he saw a couple of guys look over in his direction and snicker.
Several times Pee Wee heard several students behind him giggling, and turned to see them looking at something in a manila folder that was being passed. A few minutes later he felt Sally tap his right arm just below shoulder. It felt like déjà vu. She had the manila folder in her hand and was a bit red in the face herself. She tried to control a laugh as she handed to folder to him, but only succeeded in replacing it with a high pitched squeak, that got Mrs. Brown to look up from her papers and scan the classroom.
Pee Wee frowned and took the folder from her and looked down to see "Pee Wee" written in large red letters on the cover. He opened it up to see a close-up of his own penis being measured with a wooden ruler by Victor. The resolution was sufficient that the markings on the ruler were clearly visible. Behind it was another copy of the same picture that had been glued to his locker. Then there were several more photos of him, including the first one the boys had taken on him on the school bus, and two of him displaying his shaved body in the boys' room for Randy.
The red on his cheeks deepened, and the kid's tank top did nothing to conceal it as his blush traveling down his throat. His chest went hot beet red. He looked back at Sally and realized that she had seen that picture of him getting measured, and maybe the others too, if she had bothered to look. He looked up from the photographs to see that at least 12 or so of the students in the classroom had their attention on him. They had seen the pictures and were watching to see what his reaction would be. Now that they knew his secret, they would never look at him quite the same again. They had heard the rumors, but today, well, today they had seen.
Unexpectedly Pee Wee felt his penis grow hard and his small burgeoning erection slide against denim and roll out of his gaping zipper. Pee Wee sat there, his erection throbbing, sticking out of his zipper in full view of anyone sitting across from him at the right angle to see what was going on under his desk. He heard some snickers and instinctively lifted his leg, shifting his pelvis to conceal his miniscule erection, and kept his leg up.
He looked over at Victor who maintained his arms crossed behind his head, and now stretched his legs downward and forward, pushing his feet below the desk in front of him and tilted his pelvis up.
Randy pointed at Victor, and Pee Wee hesitated. He didn't think he could do it. He wasn't sure that he could copy Victor's pose that would put his erection on display for so many of the kids in class. Randy leaned forward and made a punching motion with his fist saying something to Victor who smiled.
Pee Wee understood and shifted his position, imitating Victor, and again crossing his arms behind his head. But his little boner wasn't just pointing straight up in the air, it was throbbing, bouncing with each vigorous beat of his heart. He felt himself blush again, as several of the kids began to snicker. He knew that at least a few of them could see his undersized erection clearly jutting out of his zipper, while others were being told about it in muted whispers. Pee Wee could feel his face burning and knew that his face must have been deep red and he could feel the hot blush moving down his body. Randy took out his camera and snapped two more pictures without using the flash, then handed the camera back to George, who covered his mouth to stifle a laugh, and then passed the camera to another student who also had a poor view of what was going on.
Victor unbuttoned his shirt.
But now that the time had come, now that Pee Wee was actually being forced to masturbate in front of so many of his classmates, not just boys, but boys and girls--and even a teacher in the room! Pee Wee found he just couldn't comply. He heard one of the girls gasp when she suddenly noticed what was going on beneath his desk. Then he made up his mind. This was worse than any pictures Randy might pass around. Pee Wee lifted his leg up to conceal his erection and shifted his position. He had to stand up to them. He had to gather his courage. It was too much. Too much!
Randy gave him an angry look and then held his fingers up one at a time, counting out three. Then he made a "you're out" motion with his hands like a referee might make at the end of a fight.
The bell rang and Pee Wee wanted to bolt from his seat to get to his locker and try to scrap off the picture before other students got there, but he realized that he would never be able to keep this erection hidden behind an open zipper. He sat there in his seat as other students filed out of the room. He could see Victor and Randy standing outside the door waiting to intercept him. Finally he hefted his backpack in front of his crotch and headed for the door. But then Mrs. Brown called out to him and he turned to approach her desk.
"Peter, are you feeling better?" She asked.
"Yes ma'am," he blushed, keeping his backpack positioned carefully in front of his open zipper.
"Good!" She said, tapping her red pen, "I don't know what's going on Pee Wee, but tomorrow I expect you to get to work and stop horsing around in class." She then mentioned casually, "Your fly's unzipped."
"Um," Pee Wee hesitated, "It's, uh, broken," he said truthfully.
Mrs. Brown went back to grading the papers on her desk signaling that their conversation was at an end. She was old but she wasn't blind or stupid. Pee Wee worried over just how much she had seen, and looked back over at the desk where he had been sitting, trying to estimate her viewing angle. Perhaps he should have been paying better attention during Geometry. He felt himself blush again, and turned to leave.
The moment he was out the door they grabbed him. Victor had him in a bear hug pulling him toward the restroom at the far end of the hallway. George held open the door as Victor hauled him through and dumped him unceremoniously on the cracked cement floor.
"Take his clothes off," Randy ordered. Pee Wee blushed and tears formed in his eyes. Then they stripped him. Pee Wee imagined spending another day naked in the restroom, missing more classes, and then having to explain it. Some part of him rebelled. He realized that the stuff they were making him do him do was far worse then any embarrassment he might experience from them just passing around pictures. So this time Pee Wee put up more than a fight that they were expecting. They grabbed hold of his arms and legs and pinned him to the ground ignoring his pleas to stop.
His shoes and socks came off first. Then George and Victor started pulling down Pee Wee's pants. George shifted his hold on Pee Wee's legs as Victor worked his jeans down his thighs. Pee Wee felt his pants sliding down his legs, George already had the left leg free, and Victor now had his pants gathered down at Pee Wee's right ankle. Pee Wee tried to kick them hoping somehow to get free before they had his pants all the way off. George ducked Pee Wee's flailing left foot, but Pee Wee managed to successfully connect with Victor's mouth. Victor fell back against the tile wall, still holding on to Pee Wee's jeans. Pee Wee felt his pants jerk and give as Victor fell backward, ripping them. Victor landed next to the sinks and rubbed his jaw. His lip was bleeding, and from the look on his face he was deeply pissed.
Pee Wee expected them to assault his shirt next, but they left it on him.
Three other boys grabbed him and picked him up, restraining his arms while another boy got him into a headlock. It was an uncomfortable position. The whole time Victor kept staring at him. Anger radiated from his stare. Pee Wee was arched backward, off balance with his pelvis forward and his shoulder pulled back. Unfortunately Pee Wee was also aware that that he was blushing over most of his naked body.
Randy stepped forward. "I warned you," his eyes narrowed, "you just fucked up big time. You just made this get physical." The boys holding Pee Wee listened and watched intently as Victor stood up. Pee Wee could feel his heart hammering against his chest. Victor wiped blood off his chin and looked down at his hand. When he looked up at Pee Wee his look was cold, almost feral. It felt like the temperature in the room fell a few degrees. His stare was intense.
"Victor," Randy asked, "What do you want?"
"I want to kick him in the balls." Victor didn't say anything else, just stared.
Randy's face went hard and without flinching he said, "Then Victor gets to kick you in the balls."
"No!" Pee Wee's mind screamed, and his stomach knotted up suddenly as he realized that this was no game. He groaned again without thinking, said aloud, "God, this can't be happening" as his heart pounded harder against the inside of his chest. But he doubted that God was going to do anything to help him out. God was the one who had cursed him in the first place, if he existed at all. And Pee Wee knew that there was no one in the room who was going to help him out. Two of the boys holding him laughed at his predicament.
Then in that same cool and steady voice Randy told the boys hold him to, "Spread his legs and keep him standing." Pee Wee felt someone grab his ankles and pull his legs apart. Pee Wee struggled hard against them, as if his survival depended on it, and the whole group of them almost tumbled over onto the ground.
Randy punched him in the stomach, and Pee Wee strained to get his breath. He had never been hit before, not so hard, and he realized that underneath his fear, part of what had brought him so low, to the point of cooperating with this humiliation, was the fact that he absolutely believed in his heart that he wouldn't stand a chance if he tried to defend himself. These boys stood at the threshold of manhood, and he was just a dickless wonder, barely a boy, never a man. He suspected that they could beat him to a bloody pulp before he even got in one lucky jab.
But worse, Victor wasn't just bullying him around, now he was genuinely angry, wanted to hurt him, hurt him bad. He wasn't just afraid that Victor was going to make his balls suffer, he was afraid Victor was actually going to break them.
"I'll go to the principal. I'll tell them what you've been doing." Pee Wee threatened.
"And I'll show them pictures of you showing off your dick in class." Randy answered. "Okay Victor, kick him in the balls."
When Victor's foot connected with Pee Wee's exposed genitals a cascade of pain surged through him, leaving his legs trembling and causing his knees to buckle. There was no way Pee Wee could have braced himself for what was coming. The ache rushed up out of his tenderized testicles up into his abdomen. His penis felt like someone had driven a sharp spike through it. Pee Wee tried to curl up, but the boys holding him pulled him back upright and it felt like chords in his groin and stomach stretched and snapped. He wanted to grab his balls, to protect them, cradle them gently, but the boys had his arms pulled back, and there was nothing he could do but stand there trying to breathe and let the pain and cramping recede.
"Do it again, Victor." Randy said, and Victor gave Pee Wee another feral look that told him he wasn't holding back.
"No!" Pee Wee wailed, and Jason, who had been helping to pin his left arm, shifted his position and clamped a hand over Pee Wee's mouth. "It hurts," he mumbled between the boy's fingers, "Don't, please don't--"
But Victor landed another kick to Pee Wee's balls interrupting his mumbled pleas. Pee Wee writhed in their grasp, winded, and moaned out loud. The pain carried him beyond tears, Pee Wee though he might pass out. He tried to draw in a breath, but the boy still had his hand clamped over his mouth. His body wanted to curl up, needed to curl up into a fetal position, but these boys were keeping him upright, and he knew that somehow that made this hurt even worse. He looked down at his balls, expecting them to be ruptured, bleeding or crushed. His scrotum had drawn up, holding them tight against his body. Tears and snot were streaming down his face.
"Do it again, Victor." Randy said quietly, and Pee Wee screamed. He didn't think about it, it just happened, and Jason regained his grip and clamped his hand over Pee Wee's mouth cutting off the scream. He shouted, "No, don't," but his words were mangled by Jason's palm and fingers, "Please, Vic--". Truthfully he would have done anything--anything at all--to stop this pain, and to keep this from continuing. Even Victor hesitated, as he watched the boy trembling uncontrollably.
"I think I just heard Pee Wee call you a Spick, Victor!" Randy said, and this time Victor drove his foot even harder straight into Pee Wee's swollen ball-sack, squashing his sore testicles that were being held so tightly in place by his drawn-in scrotum! The pain was amazing. Nothing could have prepared him for it. Pee Wee's world darkened and he saw stars, whole constellations of them. He grasped his wounded balls in pain as they released his arms, and heaved between his hoarse attempts to scream, certain that his smashed testicles were broken like eggshells. He crumpled forward defeated, gasping and moaning.
Pee Wee collapsed sobbing onto his knees as his strength abandoned him. This time the boys let him drop. He was rocking back and forth in an ocean of pain holding his wounded balls as a whole new perception of pain unfolded for him. "Their broken," he groaned. He was sure he was going to throw up and then die. He wanted to say more, but that was all he had breath for.
Victor ground the soul of one shoe viciously into Pee Wee's chest and shoved him back until he could no longer stay on his knees. Randy stared at Victor, suddenly realizing that Victor had taken his Spick joke seriously. Pee Wee cried openly and fell over onto the floor into a fetal position still clutching his balls. Victor hocked up a gob of snot and spat in Pee Wee's face, "Pendejo, don't you fuckin' call me a Spick again!" He kicked him in the ribs twice, until Randy grabbed him in a bear hug and pulled him away from Pee Wee. Victor looked down at Pee Wee laying there sobbing, enjoying the sight.
"You're just not worth it," Randy said and spit on Pee Wee as he lay there rocking in misery. Two of the other boys followed suit. One called him a "dickless faggot". Randy threw his clothing down next to him and the boys left him alone in the restroom. Pee Wee wiped Victor's bloody spit off his lips and chin. His face was still streaked with his own tears and snot. He started to stand up, holding his sore ribs, and managed to get up onto his knees before he threw up again.
He thought about going to see the school nurse, but decided, mostly out of embarrassment, not to. The worst of the pain was subsiding, and while Pee Wee's balls were swollen, they seemed to still be intact. His penis hurt also. He supposed that Victor must have connected with him there too at least one of the time he had kicked him.
By the time Pee Wee reached his locker, he was expecting to see another crowd formed, but there was nothing unusual going on. He was too sore to walk normally, and despite the embarrassment Pee Wee couldn't help but cup his swollen balls protectively while he walked. When Pee Wee reached his locker he saw to his surprise that the offending picture of him had already been scraped away. There was only a bit of glue and scratched paint remaining where the pages had been pasted. Pee Wee looked around to see Randy staring at his locker. He looked as surprised as Pee Wee and only shrugged his shoulders in response to Pee Wee's unasked question.
Pee Wee went through the day in a daze. His bruised balls were swollen up to what seemed like twice their normal size, while his penis had disappeared completely inside like the head of a frightened turtle.
The rest of the day was even more of a blur than the morning hours had been. During class changes he continued to be greeted with jibes, nicknames, other insults. A rumor had already traveled around school that he had called Victor a wetback, or a spick, or some other insulting racist term, and that he got was he deserved. The rumor tainted him as a snot-nosed bigot, and earned him little sympathy among those who had passed it on. And, of course, no one wanted to be associated with a loser.
He had already become accustomed to being called Pee Wee. During the past few days he had already stopped thinking of himself as Peter. But then some of the other kids at school managed to throw in other digs or gestures, ones that he wasn't expecting, that maintained him in a state of perpetual humiliation. Pee Wee carried himself like a whipped dog, always mentally preparing himself for the inevitable putdown in every encounter.
When the last the bell rang, Pee Wee made his way to the bus stop as quickly as he could to be on time for his bus. Waiting there among the other students waiting for their busses he saw that Randy was standing with a group of friends in the middle of the crowd of students passing time until the busses arrived. Then he noticed that Randy was talking to Mark, Pee Wee's brother, and Scott, Randy's younger brother and Mark's best friend.
Pee Wee looked at the bus, knowing where it was going, what route it was going to take, and how long it would take him to get home. He knew where he would end up sitting during the ride, and what would most likely be asked of him while he rode it.
When the bus driver cranked open the doors the kids there filed onto the bus in a steady stream. It was controlled chaos, as usual. Pee Wee watched Mark board the bus. Mark usually got another ride home from school. It was rare to see him ride the bus, and Pee Wee dreaded that the other boys might make him do something while Mark was there to witness it. He didn't want to be humiliated in front of his little brother; there was enough strain in their relationship already.
Pee Wee let those that had been waiting before him go first, half expecting those who arrived after him to do the same. Of course they didn't, so he finally shoved his way back into line and got on the bus. As he began his walk down the aisle, still near the front of the bus, Pee Wee expected the worst. But then Scott stood up from his seat and Mark motioned for him to sit down in the space between them. Pee Wee glanced back over his shoulder to see Victor frown and then kick his legs across the empty space beside him, dangling his ankles and feet into the aisle. He realized, with a sick feeling in his stomach, that the empty seat had been reserved for him.
Despite the empty seat beside Victor, as the seats filled and the aisle filled too, students began to double up the aisle holding onto the steel bar that ran the length of the bus for support. It's the only way to fit this many students on a bus on a crowded day.
Mark and Scott remained silent for the most part, and Pee Wee said nothing. His balls were still sore and he felt sick to his stomach.
When the bus came to Victor's stop, Victor made eye contact with Pee Wee, giving him a "drop dead" look as he made his way to the front of the bus. Pee Wee was afraid that Victor was going to turn around and punch him or something, but Victor just continued down the aisle. Victor did turn, just before he reached the exit, and gave Pee Wee another real dirty look.
At the next stop Scott said, "See you tonight," to Mark, then looked over at Pee Wee as if it were an afterthought, then followed his older brother, Randy, off the bus.
When their stop came Pee Wee looked across at his brother, Mark, who stared back at him. "Move it, dickwad," Mark told his brother and headed toward the front of the bus. Pee Wee stood and followed him. Several kids snickered as he walked past them, and he suddenly remembered that his fly was still gaping open.
Pee Wee moodily descended the steps exiting the school bus, and pain shot through him when he adjusted his aching balls. He watched Mark disappear into their house, and made his way, far more slowly, up the driveway, hoping on one hand that his mother had not yet come home, and on the other hand that she might be there waiting to ground him for the whole of next year.
"This is a nightmare," he said to himself, and he was right.
But it was far from over.