Supper with Craig's parents and brothers is always a treat for me, especially since I've never ever been in the midst of a healthy, generous and loving family. Mama and Papa (what Craig told me to call them) have taken me into their family and have been showering me with kindness, affection and attention from the day Craig brought me home with him at the end of our first college semester.
The thing that gets to me the most is that THEY LIKE ME!!!!! It helps that Craig's older brother Chris is gay as well, and also that they are actively involved in a place known as KRONOS, a resident facility for gay teens who were kicked out of their homes because they're gay.
Craig and I are very careful to play the parts of "college roommates who have become good friends." Only Chris knows what's going on beyond that. In fact, Chris knows a lot more than I'm comfortable knowing. We blew our cover at a New Year's party he brought us to---he found out that we were in a bdsm relationship. He's been cool about it even though he's never had any interest in that sort of thing himself.
Craig's been acting a little strange lately. He's straight, he keeps telling me, but he just told me that he's "gay only for Q," and now he's even fucking me. The strange thing it that he's having trouble finding his way as a bdsm Dom. He's always been protective of me, and because of that there are times when he's ordered me to be careful for my own good. One thing has led to another. Craig's discovered that it really turns him on to dominate me. He's taking control of more and more—which is basically fine with me---but he doesn't have a sense yet of where any limits might be.
Consider what he did before we come up here to the family space. Well no, this is what he told me: "Put your shirt back on. I think your nipples will remind you what you are even though I treat you like you're only a friend, not the slave you are. You can cry for me later when we're back here alone."
Slave. He's starting to use that word. I started it, I guess because he gets turned on when I call him "Master," and I've been doing that. But now, slave? Ulp.
I try to push all that out of my mind during supper: pot roast, my favorite! And a special "Happy New Year" cake. I tried to keep my mind off of what Craig's been doing to me lately. "He's just a friend, He's just a friend. He's just a friend." It's hard to pretend that now while Chris is sitting there now that he , knowing that Craig whips my ass sometimes and makes me suck off other guys while he watches.
Whenever I see him looking at me I lower my eyes. Whenever he sees me lower my eyes he asks me some question that will get me looking up again! Sly guy. I think it's ironic. Even though he says he has no interest in Dom/sub stuff, Chris is definitely an Alpha and I suspect Craig learned a lot from him about how to subtly get someone to do whatever he wants. He probably did it to Craig when they were growing up as well. Nonetheless, I know Craig worships the ground he walks on. Curious, that's for sure.
Anyway, I can see the worship in Craig's eyes when he looks at his brother. Now I'm starting to think about what I feel for Craig. Not really sure at this point. I mean, I think the world of him, but I can't say any more about that right now.
After desert, papa and Markus said goodnight and left. I thought that was a little strange. Apparently, we've been set up. So anyway, it was the four of us: mama, Chris, Craig and me. Chris did the talking.
"It's always been true that our family provides us all with a safe space. A safe space where we can speak our minds. A safe space when we're having a problem. A safe space where we know we will be loved unconditionally—that is, no matter what. We also realize that there are very few families like ours. Q, I know that you never had a family like this in your life, but it's important to understand that you do have that kind of family now. This family. Our family. And get this, and get it real good: This is your family now. Always. And nothing will ever change that. No matter what."
Of course now there were tears running down my face and no one called any attention to it. Fuck. Safe space, hooray! But this is when things got very very interesting. Mama takes over now.
"My dear, precious Craig who I love more than life itself. Over the years you have had many girlfriends, most of them only for short periods of time, and you usually would bring them home here with us. This time you don't have a girlfriend, but you brought your friend and roommate Q to us and we are happy now to have him in our family as well. But I noticed something. At first I thought it was probably just my imagination, so I spoke to Chris about it. Last night he told me he thought I was hitting the nail on the head."
Craig looks a little tense. "What, Mom? Chris? What's going on?"
Chris goes and puts his arms around Craig from behind him. "Relax, little brother. This is a good thing. A very good thing. Okay?" He waits for Q to respond before he starts speaking again.
"So, Craig, we've both noticed the same thing over the holidays, and I've had a chance to be with you guys in social settings, not just here at home."
"What is it?!!" Craig doesn't like all this suspense.
Mama speaks: "Sweetheart, this is what we've noticed: You never looked at any of the girls you brought here over the years the way you look at Q; the love, the caring, the adoration, the joy you feel when you are with him. I am so happy to see that look on your face because it makes you look so much like your father. That's because your father looks at me the same way you look at Q."
Silence.
Suddenly I realize that there are tears running down Craig's cheeks as well. Craig is weeping because of what his mother just told us. Then he reaches out and puts his hand on top of mine.
Nothing else needed to be said.
After that, we went back downstairs. That night, Craig was the one crying in my arms . . . "I love you so much, so goddamn much, baby boy . . ." gonna always take good care of you" . . . . own you, baby . . . . slaveboy . . . . . . good boy . . . . . . . and then he fell asleep.
During the night he woke up and realized he was in my arms. He poked me until I woke up so I'd sleep in HIS arms. After all, it was a question of protocol, even if there's a romance going on between Master and slave. Fine with me, just fine. Back where I belong.
Hey, I'm sorry this chapter was so short. It would be tasteless to want to change the subject right now. Wait until next time.
SO MUCH FOR THIS CHAPTER
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