O Masturbation, I sing in Thy praise.
Many are the joys of sex with others, but nothing can match Thy delights.
I lie on my back blissfully nude, eyes closed, and move my hands slowly to my chest, and with tips of fingers touch ever so lightly the firm pink nipples stiffening to meet them. There is no more exquisite pleasure for me then the ache that comes to my soul at this blessed moment, this instant of communion with my Self and with Thee.
I have encountered women and men and in all was an emptiness that could be filled only by this final song to my Self, this reaching within and beyond. Sweet is the clitoris and sweeter still the penis of others, but sweeter than all is my own, my beloved phallus, at rest or at play, always a thing of beauty.
O Masturbation, hear my song.
When all is darkness, Thou bringeth light; when all is chill, Thou giveth warmth; when pain arrives Thou dulleth its sting.
I deliver my semen to Thee, a sacrifice on Thy holy altar. Thou hast given me succor without end, never failing me in my times of need.
May it be Thy will that at the end of my days I may be gathered up in Thy holy embrace, in that eternal orgasm of forgetfulness.