Pyramis

"My head.. my head is too.. too many... it's...

Two, four, sixteen, two-hundred fifty-six, sixty-five thousand five-hundred thirty-six, four-billion two-hundred ninety-four million nine-hundred sixty-seven thousand two-hundred ninety-six.

My head thinks too... so many.. all I can do to organize it is..

Three, nine, eighty-one, six-thousand sixty-one, forty-three million forty-six thousand seven-hundred twenty-one.

It needs to keep because or else it if I don't don't don't if I stop for a second then I I I.. mmmmmMMMMMM!!

Four, sixteen, two-hundred fifty-six, sixty-five thousand five-hundred thirty-six, four-billion two-hundred ninety-four million nine-hundred sixty-seven thousand two-hundred ninety-six.

Pattern two is multiple of four-four raised to one-half root is two pattern.

This is a simple example of what it was like to be inside my head not long ago. My head was constantly in pain. I required the aid of sleeping pills to finally force myself to sleep, else I would only find slumber from sheer exhaustion, which would take days or even a week at times.

Every couple of weeks the flood would stop, and then I would be able to cry. It was a magical feeling: silence. Not having to.. count everything. Not having to count the leaves of a tree, the strings of a blanket, the pixels on a screen. Being able to just.. be.

A few minutes later the flood would start again and the pain would return. I just appeared awkward to everyone else. No one knew what I was going through. Just a quiet boy who cried from time to time. My parents just though I was an insomniac. They couldn't know... how could they? Speaking was out of the question most of the time and when I could I spent my time crying.

That's how it used to be. "

I look at the leather cuffs on my hairless ankles and wrists and smile.

"These binds have set me free. I don't know how he did it.. how he managed to save me so, but he did. The freedom of my captivity has made my mind shut the hell up. I still remember everything, all of it. I'm flawless with numbers still, but my mind isn't focused on them anymore. I can now focus on the beauty."

I save my journal and then close my laptop. I've decided to write out my story, as best I can, but I hate writing with a pencil, I prefer typing.

I put my laptop into its case and put it behind my desk. I walk over to the door and press the switch to the right of it. I hear a loud beep and then I go sit on top of my leather table, awaiting him. A few minutes later he enters and my heart fills up immediately. I love him, I have for some time now, and no matter how many time I may see him in a day, my heart always warms when I do.

"Are you sure you want to try this again so soon?" he asks, aware of what will probably happen.

"It's not that I want to change my life or anything, but I'd like to know if, one day, I can wear these because and only because you I want me to, not because I have to... Sir"

"Alrighty, well lie back on the table" He puts his hand underneath my lower back and rests his other arm on my naked body.

"Just... count to three.. please? And if it happens again, please be as fast as possible. A single second is a life-time when I'm like that.." My hands are nervously wrapped around his arm wresting on my tummy, his fingers stroking my wrists.

"You got it buddy. On three." He pats my tummy and takes his arm away from me to retrieve a remote control from his pocket. He puts his thumb over the button and looks into my eyes."

"One."

Eyes open, stomach full of butterflies.

"Two..."

Eyes clench shut, sweat draws on my brow.

"Three." and with that he presses the button and my ankle and wrist cuffs unlock.

~~Body empty mine in full it's it's it's just with meaning it needs to to to for its purpo...

Pain head temples fingers clenched gaped mouth silent movement screams help help help.~~

He quickly presses the button again and they lock immediately.

My chest lunges forward and I start sobbing. He holds me tightly, kissing my neck and telling me it's alright.

After a few minutes of him holding my nude, 18 year-old frame tight, my crying slows and my tears stop.

"Are you going to be okay?" His grasp on my body doesn't tighten, which helps me come back to the world.

"I think I'm fine now.. on the bright side.. I just found an equation that will count with perfect accuracy the number of planets in our galaxy that can support life." I felt his smile on my neck and my world was back now.

I don't know why the cuffs prevent my mind from taking over, but they do. We'll figure it out one day. But until then, these cuffs stay on 24/7.

This situation of mine is what opened my eyes to the BDSM world, to this man, to my lover, to my master. This situation of mine is what has had me cuffed and collared for almost a year now.

I love this man. Regardless of my mind, regardless of what it does and what control it has over me, I will always be his slave.

He rubs my back with his strong, warm hands and then picks me up. He takes me upstairs to his room and lays me on the bed. He kisses me and leaves for a few minutes to get ready to sleep. He comes back and climbs into bed, he pulls me close to his body, spooning me, and we fall asleep with him breathing the back of my head, our legs intertwined, our arms resting on each other's, his chest on my back.

This is love, and slavery, and freedom.

This is my life.