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Chapter 12
When I left work that afternoon I headed straight to the police station. I didn't know what to expect since I'd never been to the police station before but I guess I had some sort of mental picture of a dark, dingy looking hole in the wall straight out of NYPD Blue. It couldn't have been farther from that. The police station was housed in a modern square brick building with lots of tinted windows and not much character. I entered a lobby that looked more like a doctor's waiting room and approached the glass window.
"I'm looking for Detective Grafton or Bernhardt," I told the lady behind the glass. She was wearing a uniform but looked like the only thing she would ever be running for was maybe the last doughnut.
"Can I tell them what this is concerning?" she asked with polite disinterest.
"It's concerning the death of Joey Taylor," I told her. Her eyes flicked up at me but quickly decided I still wasn't interesting.
"Have a seat," she ordered. I did.
Twenty minutes later I was just about to leave when an interior door opened and Detective Grafton popped his head into the room. He seemed to be surprised to see me. He waved me back and I followed him down a short, carpeted hall and into a cramped office that from the looks of things he must have shared with Detective Bernhardt. There were coffee rings on the tops layer of papers that covered both desks and crumpled balls of fast food wrappers cluttered the floor near the trash can.
"So what's up, kid?" he said as he sat down behind his desk. He didn't offer but I sat down in one of the chairs that were set facing him.
"Someone sent this to me today," I said as I pulled the letter out of my pocket. It was a little worse for wear after spending the better part of the day in there, but I smoothed it out best I could and handed it to him. Then I took off the necklace and handed it over as well.
Grafton looked at the paper disdainfully then back at me with a raised eyebrow. I unfolded the letter and laid it back in front of him.
"What wasn't an accident?" he said finally.
"I think they mean Joey's death," I said, feeling more than a little uncomfortable having to explain what seemed plain as day to me to the detective. "The necklace is Joey's. He never took it off and his mom told me it wasn't with his things when she...after she..."
"Look, son," I hate it when people who aren't my father call me son. Actually I hate it when my father calls me son. "We investigated this death backwards and forwards. We had some questions but you were the one that wrapped things up. You're friend was drunk; no, he was pickled. He was way over the legal limit. No one saw anything suspicious and trust me, we talked to everybody there and tracked down those like yourself who chose to leave before the real party got started. In fact, nobody saw anything after you two disappeared upstairs together and before he was found floating face down in the pool. If there were any suspicion of foul play you'd be suspect numero uno. As it is, it's an open and shut case. Drunk college kid falls into pool and drowns. Sad story, but not a new one. I'm sorry someone played a sick joke like this on you."
"So that's it? You just think it's some kind of joke?"
"Honestly? Yeah, that's what I think it is. But I'll tell you what, if it'll make you feel any better I'll make a note on the case file and keep a copy of the letter. If anything like this happens again we'll look into filing some sort of harassment charges."
"What would make me feel better is if you took me seriously. He never took this necklace off. Never. Not once in the entire time I knew him."
"Look, he was drunk. It could have fallen off and he wouldn't have even noticed. Maybe even in your little tussle. Somebody finds it, recognizes it, knows you're his best friend and decides to send it to you with this note. Typical college prank."
"I've been wearing the necklace all afternoon and it's been fine; the clasp works and nothing is broken."
"What is it exactly you think I can do? You've handled the necklace, heck you've worn it! This note looks like you ran it through a food processor, what are we supposed to do with it? Do you have the box it came in?"
"There was no return address so I threw it away," I said weakly.
"Then there you go. There's nothing I can do even if I thought there was something to do, which I don't."
I knew there was no point in arguing further; I would just be beating a dead horse. "Can I keep the necklace?" I asked.
The detective shrugged. "I don't even have any reason to believe it was the kid's except you said so. It's between you and the mom."
I picked up the necklace and fastened it around my neck once again. Then I stood and started to leave. "Sorry for taking up your time."
"Look, kid, I'm sorry," he said when I was at the door. "It's a shitty deal all around."
"Yeah," I agreed, "It is."
As hard as I tried to forget the note and concentrate on my painting my mind refused to let go. The detective had dismissed the idea of Joey's death being anything but an accident so easily, but the necklace was really bothering me. Together with the note it was just more than I could pass off. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and I went to look for Aidan. I found him in his bedroom busily typing away on his computer.
"Aidan, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked tentatively.
He immediately pushed back from the computer, "Of course," he said.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and filled him in on the events of the day. When I was finished he thought for a moment.
"As far as the package goes," he said, "you might try checking with the delivery company. They may have records or something. It's a long shot but worth a try. As for Caitlin, I just hope you know what you are getting yourself in for. But either way, I told you I would support you and I will."
It wasn't exactly what I had hoped for but checking with the delivery company sounded like a good idea and having something concrete to do made me feel better. I was able to go back to my painting. I finished off the evening with a few chapters of So You're Having A Baby.
I ran by the delivery company on my way to work the next morning but was disappointed to learn that the guy who had been working on Saturday only worked on weekends so I'd have to wait until then to talk to him.
The next few days were spent working, painting, fretting about Joey's death and reading baby books. Finally Wednesday rolled around. Aidan and I spent the afternoon cooking spaghetti, which was pretty much the only thing we were sure we could pull off. I made the sauce from scratch, and even though by the time I was finished I looked like I had been slaughtering hogs, I was quite proud of the results.
Caitlin arrived promptly at six and we all sat down to eat. Conversation at the table was polite and mostly generalities. After the dishes had been cleared we all settled into the living room for some real conversation.
"Well, I've thought about everything," Caitlin began, "the baby, your offer and all; and I decided that I'd be crazy not to accept your offer, especially if we make it legal and all. I'm going to need all the help I can get."
"What about your parents?" Aidan asked.
"I haven't told them yet," she said with a frown, "I don't know if I even want to. They're going to totally freak out. My step-dad will anyway. He's really strict. My mom won't be sober long enough to care one way or the other. I haven't seen my real dad since I was 12."
"How old are you now?"
"I'll be nineteen in January."
"Do you work?'
"I'm a full time student."
"What's your major?"
"I haven't decided yet. I feel like I'm being interviewed for something here."
I was getting the same impression so I quickly stepped in and changed the subject. "How'd the doctor's appointment go?"
She broke into a grin, "Great! I got to see the baby on the sonogram. It's too early yet to know what it is though. The doctor said the baby was doing fine though, right where it should be for where I am. I also found out that my insurance will cover almost everything. I just have to pay like a small amount at each visit."
"That's great!" I said, "When do you go back again?"
"In two weeks. I'll be 9 weeks then."
"Can I go with you?"
Caitlin and Aidan both looked at me as if I had suddenly sprouted antennae and ordered them to take me to their leader.
"What?" I said defensively.
"You want to go with me to see the doctor?" Caitlin asked.
"Yeah, I've been reading all these baby books and I'd really like to be involved as much as possible; well as much as you feel comfortable with anyway."
"Well, I guess if you are sure you want to..."
"I'm sure, as long as you're sure you don't mind."
"I guess not." She didn't sound too sure.
We all sat in an uncomfortable silence for what seemed like an eternity. Finally Aidan broke the moment, "So, uh, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" he said to Caitlin.
The sudden shift in subject seemed to catch her off guard as if she had been thinking about something else. I was a little surprised myself, but mostly because I had forgotten that Thanksgiving was the very next day! I was glad he'd reminded me. I'd been invited to dinner at Killian's house along with Aidan. Apparently they had some kind of tradition of inviting lost souls to Thanksgiving dinner and I fit the bill.
"I don't really have any plans," she said, "I don't really feel up to tackling the 'rents right now and I don't know anyone else. I'll probably just settle on some Stouffer's turkey and dressing."
"Hey Aidan," I said suddenly, "Do you think Killian's dad would mind if Caitlin came too?"
"No, I couldn't! I don't want to intrude," Caitlin insisted.
"Actually," Aidan said thoughtfully, "I seriously doubt they would mind at all. Their motto seems to be the more the merrier. I mean none of them even knew me last year except Aunt Meg and I was completely welcome. Why don't I call and find out at least?" He left the room the make the call.
"So you're reading baby books now, huh?" Caitlin said with a grin, "I haven't even started reading baby books yet. It still doesn't seem real somehow."
"Well it is real and your better get your rear in gear, missy," I teased. I picked up the book I had finished reading the night before and handed it to her, "Let me recommend a book."
"So You're Having A Baby," she read aloud then looked at me with raised eyebrow.
"It was very informative," I said defensively.
"I bet," she laughed, "Seriously though, I will read it if you don't mind."
"Help yourself. That was the whole idea."
"So when do you lose that cast?"
"Not for a few more weeks," I sighed, "I can't wait. It itches like hell."
"Ok, I talked to Adam," announced Aidan as he came back into the room, "He says to bring anyone we want; they're cooking for a small army."
"Great, then it's settled," I said.
"I suppose," Caitlin said doubtfully, then brightened, "How about those paintings?"
I showed her what I had finished and she was gratifyingly impressed.
"Wait until you see them all framed and matted. You wouldn't believe the difference it makes," I told her, "I have to have them all dropped off by Friday morning so that Nikki can get them done. She's calling in some favors with her framer to get them done last minute like this. Hey, why don't you come to the show Friday night?"
"That would be fun. Is it formal?"
"Yeah, technically it's by invitation only but I think I can wrangle you in."
"After all, you are the star," she teased. And of course I blushed.
Since Killian only lived about half an hour away we didn't leave until late afternoon. We spent a lazy morning watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and I even managed to paint a little. Caitlin met us at the apartment and we all drove down together.
We arrived at Killian's house, a two-story cedar shingled beach house, a little early but an enthusiastic Killian and Asher met us at the door. We were ushered in and introduced to the others already there, well Caitlin and I were introduced; Aidan already knew pretty much everyone. First I met Adam and Steve, Killian's legal guardians. They were the first gay couple I'd ever met beside Asher and Killian. Adam was tall and trim with graying reddish blonde hair and blue eyes. Steve looked amazingly like a Tom Selleck from his Magnum PI days. Also early were friends of Adam and Steve's named Ilana and Lysander and their new baby daughter, Melody.
While Caitlin and I were stilling ooing and ahing over Melody, Killian's mom and little brother got back from a last minute trip to the grocery store. Killian's mom, Meg, was beautiful and looked much too young to have a son Killian's age. Kane looked like an adorable little elf with bright green eyes and spiky blonde hair.
The last of the guests arrived soon after. They turned out to be another couple, Bryant and Calvin. Bryant was the picture of health, with smooth skin tanned to a warm glow, wavy dark hair and muscles that rippled under his ribbed turtleneck sweater. Calvin on the other hand looked as if he was a walking corpse. He was wraith thin and so pale I got the impression if I looked away he might have disappeared before I looked back. His wispy hair was almost white and his eyes were such a pale shade of blue they too looked almost colorless.
Once everyone was ready we gathered around two large tables they had set up and Adam stood up to give the blessing.
"Before we get started," he said, "I want to say how honored Steve and I are that each of you could join us today as we celebrate Thanksgiving. Some of you are familiar faces, and it's good to see you again, and some are new faces. And then some, like Will, are a new but familiar face." Everyone laughed and I turned red as every looked from me to Asher. "We started a tradition last year and it was such a smashing success that we purposefully planned it the same way this year. We invited just enough people so that we could have 13 guests, not counting Melody. Well, last night Aidan calls and asks if they can bring along a friend. I never turn anyone down so I said the heck with tradition; bring it on. Well, lo and behold, who should call this morning but Killian and Asher's friend, Jake. He was supposed to be flying in this morning and spending a few days with us but had decided to stay in California with his new family for his first Thanksgiving with them. While I was disappointed I have to say that I think he made the right choice. The bright side is that the tradition continues, and once again it's proven that God does have a sense of humor."
Dinner was incredible. I'd never seen so much food. The turkey was so big I thought someone must have shot Big Bird, plus there was ham, candied yams, green beans, mountains of fluffy mashed potatoes, gallons of gravy, stuffing, warm yeast rolls, coleslaw, artichokes and three different kinds of pies for desert. Steve and Adam must have been cooking for days. The atmosphere was festive as food was passed around and conversation flowed back and forth like a tide. When everyone had eaten their fill, and then some, Adam and Steve went around the table with an after dinner wine and coffee. Even Kane was allowed a small glass of the sweet red wine. Only Caitlin refused, covering her glass with her hand and smiling with a shake of the head.
Eventually we managed to waddle into the living room for phase two of the tradition as Adam put it. We sat in a loose circle on chairs, the sofa and the floor. Once everyone was settled Adam once again spoke up.
"Last year Aidan came up with this little gem and we're going to continue the practice if everyone is game. What we'll do is we'll go around the room one person at a time, and say one thing that you are thankful for. If you absolutely can't keep it to one thing a panel of judges will evaluate the merit of each request on an individual basis. "
Everyone laughed and looked at Bryant who put on an innocent expression.
"Who'd like to go first?" Adam asked.
"I will," said Lysander, I'm thankful that we now have a healthy, happy baby girl. For those of you who were here last year you'll remember that it was one year ago tonight that we made the big announcement."
Ilana smiled down at the sleeping bundle in her arms. "What can I add to that?" she said.
"That's it?" Adam said.
"Sandy said it all," Ilana said tranquilly.
"Ok, new rule," Adam said, "You have to come up with your own thing to be thankful for."
Calvin was next. He waited for the laughter to die down, took a deep breath and then smiled shakily. "I'm thankful to be alive for one more Thanksgiving." The room was deadly quiet for a few beats before the silence was broken by a muffled sob from Bryant. No one knew what to say and after a moment Calvin went on. "We found out a few months ago that I'm HIV positive." There was a chorus of gasps from around the room. "I've been having health problems for about a year now and they tested for HIV early on and nothing showed up. So far...so far Bryant has tested negative."
By now Bryant had pulled himself together enough to take his turn, "I'm thankful for whatever time we have left. We're going to make the most of it."
No one said anything for several minutes as the clock ticked noisily on the wall. Finally Bryant gave a slightly hysterical giggle, "Well, wasn't that quite the show stopper. Next year we'll go last." Everyone laughed and the tension seemed to be broken. Some questions were asked about treatment; Calvin had opted for an aggressive treatment but it was too soon to tell how effective it would be.
"Well," Adam said some time later, "I guess we'd better get back to our thanksgiving. It's my turn and well, I'm thankful that it's been almost a year since anyone in my family has been threatened, held at knifepoint or almost blown up. In fact, no one has had anything worse than a cold. It's been very peaceful and deliciously dull. And for that I am very thankful."
Steve nodded, "Me too." Adam shot him a look and he hurried on, "I have my own, don't worry. I was just saying that wholeheartedly agreed with yours too. I'm thankful that I have been blessed enough to not only find my soul's mate, but to also truly love his family as my own and be accepted by them. I am truly content and happy in my life. Your turn, Meg."
"Well, I'm thankful most of all to get to see my handsome son again and see how happy and well adjusted he is these days. As an extension of that, so I'm still on my first thing Adam, I'm also thankful for my second son, Asher." Asher blushed and for once I was glad to see someone else turn red besides me. "Now, I would like to ask for a second thing if I may."
Adam gave an exaggerated sigh, "You're really pushing the limits Meg, but I suppose we'll allow it."
"Thanks, you're a dear. I'm also thankful that things have been going well for me up in PA. The divorce is now final and I've managed to get back into school. I'm really excited about my future for the first time in a long time. Now I'm done. You're next, Kane."
"Um..." Kane thought a moment, "I'm thankful that my mom is talking to me again and things are better between us now, so now I get to see my mom and my dad."
I made a mental note to ask Aidan what that was about later.
"My turn," announced Killian, "I'm thankful for two things. Is that ok?"
"Go ahead, we set a precedent with your mother."
"'K, well, I'm thankful that my real dad is behind bars where he belongs and where he can't hurt anyone else."
"Here, here," muttered Meg under her breath.
" I'm also thankful that I found my soul mate too, but to make mine different from Steve's, I'm glad my soul mate found me."
Asher smiled goofily at Killian while the chorus of aww's died down, "I'm thankful that Killian and I were both accepted at the same college. Next year, we'll be going to school with you Aidan."
After a round of congratulations it was Aidan's turn. "Mine is a multiple part thanks but it's really all one. I'm thankful that Aunt Meg brought me down here with her last year because out of that one trip has come so much good. One, I was able to accept that I was gay with a little help from my not-so-little cousin, Killian. Two, I made successful move from PA to the Shore. And three is the part I'm most thankful for, I made the best friend I've ever had in my whole life, and he's my roommate, Will."
I flushed crimson and stared down at my feet but it was my turn and every eye in the room was on me. I cleared my throat and spoke up, "I guess it's my turn, huh? I know most of you don't know me, but I'm Asher's cousin. No one knows this but Aidan, not even you Ash, but about a month ago I tried to kill myself because I was gay."
Everyone's mouth dropped open at once. I almost giggled out loud they looked so comical. Not even Asher had been told what had really happened, everyone had just been told that I fell off the fire escape. "There were a lot of other factors, but what it boils down to is that I was a selfish coward and I tried to run from my problems instead of dealing with them. Aidan helped me to see that and ever since then, even though I've still had a lot of stuff going on, I've known that I had to face my problems head on. So I guess all of that was to say that I'm thankful that God didn't take the life that I tried to throw away. Instead, He gave me a second chance." After that somewhat lengthy speech I suddenly realized I was the center of attention and began to blush again. Luckily Caitlin spoke up and shifted the focus off me, or so I thought.
"I'm new here too," she began softly, "I really don't know any of you that well, I've even only known Will a few weeks, but you've all made me feel so welcome, like I was part of a family. I'm really glad Will asked me to come, but that's not what I'm most thankful for. I'm most thankful for Will himself. He kept me from making a horrible mistake that would have probably haunted me for the rest of my life. You see, I'm pregnant and I'm not married and the father just died. Even before he died though he told me that he didn't want to have anything to do with the baby. He told me to have an abortion and that's what I decided I would do." She stopped for a moment as tears began to roll down her cheeks, "Then I met Will, and he forced me to see what I didn't want to see; that this was an innocent life that I created as a result of my bad decisions. And that life shouldn't have to pay for my mistakes. Then he went beyond just offering advice, he offered himself. He's going to help me raise my baby so that I can have it and keep it."
For the third time that night a stunned silence fell over the room as I tried to shrink under the sofa. Finally Adam spoke in a somewhat awed voice, "Wow... well...that certainly gives us all something to work towards."
I couldn't stand it any longer, "I'm nothing special," I protested, "It was just something that I knew I had to do. Haven't you ever just known that you had to do something even though you weren't quite sure why? You just know you have to."
"But that's exactly what makes it all the more special," Meg said, "I'm sure that all of have experiences what you just described, but how many of us can say that we actually acted on that urging? Most people just ignore that compelling, pass it off as insensible or unrealizable. Or maybe they just don't have the faith to step out and take that kind of risk, Besides, all true heroes never know they are heroes. They just simply are."
"I'm definitely not a hero," I argues, my face blazing away, "I'm so screwed up I've tried to kill myself twice in the last two months. Aidan is the real hero. He saved my life both times."
Aidan opened his mouth to argue, but Steve cut him off, "The mark of a true hero, or true bravery, is this - not a lack of fear, that's just foolishness, but rather to be afraid but do what you know you must do anyway."
Everyone thought that over quietly for a few minutes.
"Ok, enough philosophical wanderings," Adam said suddenly, "This night is supposed to be about a celebration of life, so let's start living! Who's up for a game of taboo?"
Lysander and Ilana were the first to leave, saying they needed to get Melody to bed. Bryant and Calvin left shortly after since Calvin was visibly tiring. Aidan, Caitlin and I prepared to leave too since we had the drive home still ahead of us.
"You guys are coming to my show tomorrow night aren't you?" I asked before we left.
"Are you kidding? We wouldn't miss it for anything!" Killian exclaimed.
"Great," I said, "Why don't you two plan on staying for a little while after? I have something I need to talk to you about."
"Sure, that shouldn't be a problem. It's not a school night," he said.
"What was that about?" Aidan asked once we were in the car.
"What was what about?" I asked innocently.
"What do you need to talk to Killian and Asher about?"
"That matter we were discussing the other night; you know, the note?"
"Oh...I don't understand."
"We'll talk about it later," I said meaningfully.
"What Will is trying to say is drop it while Caitlin's around," Caitlin said with amusement in her voice. I laughed as she gracefully changed the subject, "Will, thanks for inviting me. It was great."
"It was, wasn't it?" I agreed. "I'm glad you could come. You're still coming tomorrow night too aren't you?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world. I just hope I can still fit into the dress I was planning on wearing."
"Are you gaining weight with the baby?"
She laughed, "Not yet! I was talking about that huge meal we just had. I don't think I'll be able to eat for a week."
We all laughed.
"It was great wasn't it?" I said, "I think it was the best Thanksgiving ever and I'm not just talking about the food."
I settled back into the seat in contentment. If I could just make it through tomorrow night, I thought, I would be home free. If I had only known how wrong I was.