Say the Words
[This is Adult Gay material. If you are under the legal age limit for reading such material, or if you are offended by gay sex then please leave now.]
This is kind of erotic story, a wish if you will. You see, baby boy here is in need. Yup, this same brotha you see here and there on campus. Yea, I'm the quiet one, the one who don't play ball, don't even know how. I'm hardly around you and your peeps, not on the court give'n game, and when you slip away to peep the clubs, you know, the ones wit' the boys, I'm not there. I'm everywhere and nowhere.
Then you hear it in the talk. Yea, all the wisper'n mouths work'n overtime... "Yea, and you know he's gay." is what they say... You know peeps can talk, so you try not to pay them any attention. Though you find that tip to be pretty interesting. Your curiosity is sparked.
'Odd', you say... that dude is off, but if he is gay, he probably can give mad head. Wonder what he'd do if we were off by ourselves and my dick was in his face? Can't let my peeps know though. Naw! Can't let that happen.
But noth'n ever happens see... cause things happen only when you take charge. But you never take charge, you never be the man. See you gotta be a man who'd say to your peeps, "Get the god-dam mutha-fuck out of my life! Damn mutha-FUCKAS... If I want a male, to hell wit' you! I'm-a get what I want and I'll do it in your fuckin face!"
You never do the deed cause you never say the words...
See, you could have a lot my man, you know what I'm talk'n 'bout? I'm talk'n 'bout babe. You could be enjoy'n some of this what I got. This delicate yet strong, stubborn yet submissive 'female' that's inside all dudes like me. Now see, don't be go'n off on the trip... I ain't into that wig and paint shit. I'm a man and damn proud of it. But you know... there be woman-needs inside... you know what I'm say'n?! Why you think I be want'n to give it like I do? You ever considered that? What, you think that when I get the G-spot done I ain't a man? What, you think a man can't wanna turn his hole into a cunt? Oh, I get it, you scared. You think just cause I'm like this that you gotta be like this too. You think that cause I'm masculine and a pussy, your peeps gonna look at you and think you're pussy too. Oh, and we ain't even talked about the fact that a 'pussy-men' s'posed to be weak, catty divas... God! And don't let it be known among the peeps, or life will be ovah! Sheeeeit...
You know what? I said "Go off and fuckn' die", to that long time ago.
Cause you see it's just peeps try'n to control, they just try'n to scare. Most of 'em scared and don't got control-a-themselves anyway. Thy scared of stuff they thought about, stuff they felt inside. They just too ashamed to admit it. It's fucked... they're fucked.
But seein' me walk'n through the gym, you know I'm one of 'them' dudes... them dudes made for dudes. You wanna get to know me but you wanna keep on the DL. This is what you do, you make eye contact, but if I'm look'n off like to the floor or something cause I'm shy and shit, do somethin' like this.
First, remember just cause I look and act like a dude that don't mean I'm down for the female babes. Next you say someth'n like this:
"Excuse me, sorry man, but do you have the time?" revealing the mix of accents you have... 'proper' and 'hood'.
See by then, I'm shocked that at jock like you stopped to talk to me even just to ask the time. I'm kind of flattered right there..., you know what I'm sayin?
Right then, you should start makin' eye contact. Smile at me, it's ok. Give me the look, you know, like you wanna know who I am but you don't wanna scare me off. You can do all this in a couple of seconds.
You might not get my name right then, but you'll see me again somewhere. That's when you approach me for more. You get my name and try to start small-talk. Play like you find stuff I do and like to be interesting.
You see me eatin' off by myself in the cafeteria, so you come over to my table and ask if you can sit down. This is when you ask me stuff again and I tell you the answers again, then you tell me about you, and get me to start askin' questions, cause see you want me to be interested in you too. You don't just wanna be a dick, you already get that when you do the heads on campus. You want'n someth'n more now so you get me interested... it's all gonna be real good in the end or the beginning... whatever.
This keeps on till you ask me the question.
"So you got a girl?"
When you find out 'no', then that's when you really start try'n to "move in on it", you know what I'm say'n? It's like fishin' you start bring'n it in on the hook. Yea, see you get me hooked. Gotta let me know its safe, you safe, you ain't gonna try to hurt me. Well it might hurt some at the beginning but you know what I'm try'n to say.
So now you got me talking, tell a joke, say someth'n like "You know, none of my peeps ever come down here to this hall" that way you kind-a tell me round-about that you kind-a sneak'n off for a reason. Give me more eye-contact, that'll help me know what you try'n to say. See, cause I'll be start'n to smile and think good stuff like, "Hmm, he come down here to see me?" "Oh my god, he's here to see me!" And you know I'll be start'n to blush and shit, well can't blush too much when the skin is brown but you get the point. You know too. You know that I'm catch'n on and it's all good, I mean ALL good now cause we mov'n along, it's on!
See you thinkin' now, "Yea, he knows now, I know now... all that's left is to get it on!" But see you don't want it right off, the anticipation is feelin' too good. It's like a massage that feels so good it almost tickles... you want it to go on and on. But like a good itch, at some point you're gonna wanna scratch it, enjoying the itch and the scratch.
"So you got plans for this weekend?" you ask. See you gett'n into say'n the words. You got a right to be interested in stuff about me.
"No, not much happen'n for me..." I answer.
You think'n what to say next. You never asked a guy out like this before. Wit' a friend it's cool, you already know them and just say, "Yo, let's do this shit this weekend." Noth'n to it. But I'm not really your friend, just a guy you interested in. You tryin' to make sure I know how you comin' on. You ain't lookin' for a friend... naw, not like that. You look'n for phreaky love. But see, it ain't like I was lined up in some room wit' other pussies and doggs like you could just walk in and be matched up wit' one.
"Listen, don't be offended dogg, but let me ask. Are you gay? I mean, it's cool, whatever, 'm just curious." you quickly add. But see it ain't "cool, whatever" as you say cause you not down here to waste time look'n for some other straight dogg. No, you down here cause you curious 'bout the gay shit. You want what you thought you see'n in the gym. You want that sweet shy azz you see walking around on campus here or there.
I hesitate to say anything, but the way you acknowledge the man in me, tell me how you try'n to respect the woman in me. So I go on. "Yea, I am... I'm gay." I'm more than gay though, and you know it. You sense I'm a mystery the spiritual mix of man and woman, you don't have a name for it. You don't know the word Manwife yet. So for now, I'm just gay.