See other parts for disclaimer information. This chapter has a soundtrack and a request from the author. See the end of the chapter for information. ~~~David~~~
Part 4 --
Something stirred me. I didn't know what it was, but something stirred me.
The process of waking up, though, was slow. First my left eye, then my right eye. The haze of semi-consciousness settled over me like a fog over a field early in the morning. The sleep,' I thought, must have been deep.'
As I looked around, I realized that I didn't know where I was at first. The bed I was laying on was a large king size one. I lay, still virtually motionless, on the left side of the bedI surveyed my soundings as carefully as I could at this crucial time. Across the room was a large chest of drawers. Atop it were a small TV, DVD player, and a digital cable box. One of the drawers was open. It was obvious that someone had disturbed the contents, as something white was hanging from it. To the right of the chest was a chair. It wasn't anything too special, just a simple wooden chair, covered in simple fabric. A flower hung from the corner immediately to the right of the chair. The window was on this wall. The shades were opened, which revealed to me that the night had either crept in or crept out like a thief in the night.
I continued my survey by looking up at the ceiling. A ceiling fan with blades in the shape from palm fronds turned just enough to circulate the air in the room, which was sticky from the humid conditions in the room. `Damn it's hot,' I thought to myself as I pulled the covers off of me, only to realize that I was half naked. I was wearing only boxers: tight white boxers that might as well have been a tent from the hard-on I was sporting.
My attention was taken from my body, though, as I realized that there was a light coming from the bathroom that shone so brightly. How could I not have realized this a moment ago when I was surveying the room to get my bearings?
If I'd noticed this before, I would have realized that I was in my bedroom at Maya's (my mom's) house.
"No existe un momento, del día. En que pueda partarte de mi. El mundo parece...distinto...cuando no estás junto a mí..." I heard a voice singing from the bathroom. It was very bad. I wanted to yell at the person to let Luis Miguel have his song back, but for some reason was unable to utter the words. "...en parte de mi alma...ya...nada me consuela...si no estás tú también....ooh ooh ooh...," my crooner continued, not aware that I was taking in his concert. "Más allá de tus labios...del sol y las estrellas...contigo en la distancia....amado mío...estoy...contigo en la distancia...amado mío...estoy..." the chanteur concluded. It was finally over. This person sung so horribly bad that I wanted to scream, followed by shoving him straight from my second story window in the yard below. (There's not a moment that goes by...that you could ever part yourself from me...the world seems...distant...when you're not here with me...........in a part of my soul...now...nothing consoles me...if you're not here too...oh oh oh...........Farther away than your lips...from the sun and the stars...with you in the future...my love...I am...with you in the future...my love...I am... [This is taken from a Luis Miguel song, "Contigo en la distancia."])
God,' I thought to myself, I'm as crabby as Simon Cowell when I first wake up.'
I pulled myself up from the bed and walked around the room for a moment. Slowly the surroundings were becoming more obvious for me. I walked to the window, gazing outside as the neighbors dog ran in circles beneath a street lamp they'd installed to annoy the neighbors on the other side of them. I chuckled slightly as the water in the bathroom stopped. I looked toward it not knowing who or what was in there. I only remember feeling comforted as the person very badly sang his rendition of a Luis Miguel song.
I turned again to look at the window. The sky was an odd shade, somewhere between night and the breaking of day. The freshness of everything outside only served to accent the freshness that somehow permeated my room.
Without provocation, a hand softly touched my waist, then another. Then the two moved to meet each other on my abdomen. I could feel a gentle breath on the back of my neck, then another, then a light kiss. I was in heaven, wanting this moment of bliss never to subside. A million love songs couldn't contain enough words to describe the things going through my mind. The hands moved up to my chest, which was more than ready to be fondled by the massive hands that this man had. They were perfectly shaped, with nails that were perfectly groomed. His skin, at least from what I could tell were a nice hue of caramel.
Without saying a word, he moved his hands back to my waist, and then to my back, which he rubbed. I was relaxing to the prospects of this going on for a little while. He moved to shoulders, rubbing and caressing them before slowing rubbing my own sculpted arms as he moved his way to my hands.
His fingers interlaced themselves with mine. This feeling was far nicer than what even what I'd been feeling for a while. The feeling of being loved by someone, both physically and emotionally was very appealing to me.
The figure took his right hand from mine, and with a twist, turned me to face him. He took my free hand and again intertwined his fingers with mine.
He was perfect in every way. His body was tight and muscular from years of playing soccer and from working out for at least an hour daily. His face was one of his most alluring features. His chin was cleft; his cheekbones were defined. His smile was his best feature by far, as it was inviting and clear. His teeth were perfectly white. His nose was big, but not obtrusive. His eyes were crisp, clear, and as green as the most perfect emerald. His hair was brown, with chunks of blond randomly placed across his head. He didn't have a single hair on his body.
I took my right hand from his and rubbed his chest. He didn't utter a sound, instead opting to stare at me with all the intensity his eyes could muster. I moved my hand to his face, touch as much of its right side as I could.
"Hi," I said quietly and meekly.
"Hi, yourself," the figure responded.
"Good shower?" I asked.
"It would have been if you'd awoken to join me."
"Good line, babe."
"You are the one who taught me how to properly flirt," he said to me, flashing the smile at me and making his dimples appear in his face obviously sculpted by God himself.
"Yeah. I do have to give myself that one."
"Yeppers," he said with a wink.
I sighed deeply, realizing what was going on. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?"
"Yeah. You are," he said matter of factly.
"Why?" I asked. "Why can I only dream of you?"
"You will one day, babe."
"I know, Josh." I said before he started to move away.
"Josh!" I tried to stop him as he backed away, keeping his eyes firmly planted on me.
"I love you, Dave," he said.
"Oh God! Josh I've got a million things that I want to say to you. Please don't leave me," I begged as I walked toward the diminishing figure. "God! Don't leave me again, Josh. Josh! Josh! Please come back," I shouted pointlessly as the ghost of my former lover faded into obsurity.
"David Jansen!" I heard someone screaming. "Dave! Wake up! You're having another bad dream," Pedro screamed as I fought to see Josh one more time. "It's just a dream. Come on Dave!"
"NO!" I said as I jumped from the bed. I was completely unaware of my surroundings. Pedro jumped up after me, grabbing me before I could run from the room crying, waking up everyone in the house. He held me so tightly as I sobbed. "¿Por qué tengo que revivir este sueño?" (Why do I have to keep reliving this dream?)
"Está bien papi. Todo está bien," he said reassuring me. "Cálmate, baby. Todo está bien." (It's OK papi. Everything's alright. Calm down, baby. Everything's alright.)
I was continuing to sob when I noticed a small-framed shadow enter the room. "¿Qué pasa?" said the small Latin woman in her husky, worn voice.
"Todo está bien, Abu. Era una pesadilla," he advised. (All is OK, Abu. It was a nightmare.) (Abu is Pedro's grandmother. We'd come to her house to help her decorate for Christmas.)
"Ah. Entiendo. Les preparo un chocolate, ok?" she started. "Tráele a la cocina en un momento," she instructed as she walked out of the room and down the stairs.
As I realized what was going on, I began to feel ashamed by my actions. `Why can't I control these bursts?' I thought to myself as Pedro picked me up and set me on the bed.
"You think I'm crazy now, don't you?" I asked, half expecting him to say yes and half knowing that he would say no.
"Only on Thursdays," he said, flashing a smile at me.
I took his face as I'd taken Josh's in my dream, touching as much as I could from the angle in which I sat. "I'm so sorry you have to live with my baggage," I said to Pedro, who was looking as lovely as ever watching me.
"We all have our things, Dave. It's not a big thing," he said, trying to reassure me that he was there for me.
"I know. But how many twenty-five year olds live with this shit?"
"It's not a big thing, Dave. I promise you that. Well, let's go have some hot chocolate." He took me in his arms as we stood, hugging me as tightly as I could stand. I put my arms around his back, begging in the back of my mind that God not force him to leave my life.
We walked with him holding my hand down the hall the down the back staircase that led into the kitchen. When we went in, the main light illuminated the kitchen. A smaller light offered brighter lighting over the stove where Abu was working. She was a short Latin woman. She was somewhat portly, and spoke in a heavy accent when she spoke in English. Even though I'd only met her two weeks ago, over the course of Thanksgiving, I'd already grown to respect and appreciate this woman for what she'd sacrificed and worked for in life. She finished the hot chocolate and walked two cups to us before returning to get one for herself.
The three of us sat in silence at the table for some time, as each of us contemplated what, if anything, we could say.
"Pedro," Abu said, interrupting the silence, "go into my study and get the red, leather-bound journal while I talk to David for a second." From the tone, I knew that this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation. I worried that she was going to ask me not to see Pedro anymore, forcing him to choose between her and me.
"David," Abu started after Pedro was no longer in earshot, "when my Ernesto died a few years ago, I thought I would soon follow him. But even though I prayed for God to take me to Ernesto, he never did. Then one day, five of my grandchildren, including Pedro and Maria, asked me to tell them a story about Papu, as they called him. I'd resolved a long time before that I wouldn't ever talk about him again. I didn't want to share my memories with anyone. I wanted to keep everything bottled inside me, and that, David, is what almost killed me." I couldn't help but cry, since I knew that the words this sage old lady was saying to me were total truth. She took a moment to let her words sink in. "Now, you and I are different in the respect that you're young enough to find someone else. You can never forget the past, but you can always start anew. I've never seen Pedro light up the way that he does when he talks about you or walks into a room that you're in. He loves you."`
"I know, Abu," I said complacently.
"Trust him," she instructed as she stood and walked away.
I stayed behind to finished my chocolate and think about what Abu had said.
Pedro returned, carrying Abu's book. "Abu, I've got..." he trailed off as he realized that Abu wasn't here anyore.
"She went to bed," I said, holding my head downcast.
"Are you OK?" he asked as he returned the to sit directly across the table from me. I extended my arm across the table. Pedro picked up on the clue and put his hand out to meet mine. We interlaced our fingers, and I looked at him.
"I'm fine, Pedro," I went on, only half convincing my lover of my honestly.
We sat in silence for a few minutes. I contemplated how I was going to tell him what had happened. "Pedro," I started, finally mustering enough courage to talk about my past with him, "your grandmother told me something a few minutes ago that are weighing on me. She told me about how she moved past your grandfather's death." Pedro smiled at me, knowing what I was talking about. I pulled out a picture of Josh that I kept in my wallet and handed it to Pedro.
"He's almost as hot as you, Dave. So tell me how y'all met," Pedro said.
I couldn't help but smile as I recalled in my mind the first time I saw Josh. "We were at a party. My friend Isabel had invited me to come, even though I wasn't much of a partier. I was standing at the bar in her kitchen when I noticed this hot man dancing with some chick. I couldn't help but stare at him. He kept looking at me and smiling. I remember thinking `what if this guy is straight and he wants to beat the shit out of me for staring.' So I went to Isabel's room in the apartment, just to give myself a chance to calm down," I continued.
=====
"Hey dude," Josh said as he came into the room. "You OK?"
"Uh...yeah man...I'm fine. Thanks."
"I noticed you looking..."
"I'm so sorry for that dude," I interrupted, trying to keep him from starting a fight with me.
"Don't apologize," he said, looking offended that I would apologize for staring. "I've been checking you out all night, albeit a tad more discreetly," he said with a smile on his face.
I was at a loss for words. This fine man was checking my ass out too.
"I'm Josh," he said, extending his arms.
"Uh. Hi. I'm David," I said taking his hand.
"Nice to meet you," he said.
"Likewise dude...uh Josh...uh...yeah...likewise," I stammered.
"So let's go dance," he said, putting his arms around my shoulder and leading me into the living room to dance with him.
=====
"For the rest of the night," I continued telling Pedro, "he and I danced together. It was awesome. We talked every night for two weeks, and then we had our first date. He had me from there."
"AWWW!" Pedro said, casting a smile in my direction.
"Pedro. I'm sorry for having the baggage and that you're having to deal with it." My hand was firmly connected with his from across the table. "I know you didn't sign up for all this."
"David, can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah."
"If the situation were reversed, where would you be?"
"Here."
"OK. That's the way I feel about things. There may be a time when the situations are reversed," he stated, taking my hand into his and kissing it lightly. "El amor está hablando," he said smiling. (Love's talking.)
For the next two or three hours, we sat at Abu's table talking about various thing, but Josh wasn't again a topic of conversation for the evening. We retired for the evening, Pedro holding me in his arm as we slept motionless in the room he'd slept in as a child.
The next day we slept late; I was awoken only by the smell of the breakfast being prepared by Abu downstairs. The sweet aroma permeated all throughout the house. Without disturbing Pedro, I sneaked out of the room and down to the kitchen.
"Good morning, Abu," I said quietly, trying not to startle her.
"Good morning, David. How did you sleep?" she said, smiling as I walked to the counter where she was working on breakfast.
"I slept great. Thanks."
"You and Pedro were up late."
"Yes ma'am. We had a night talk," I said, a smile brightening my face like the first late of day.
"Good."
"I'm sorry for upsetting you," I said after a moment.
"Baby," she said, walking over to me. "You did not upset me. It's just that I know what you're going through. It is very hard. But, like I said last night, you are still young enough to find love again. Pedro loves you so much, and I can tell that you love him. It's just that you won't be able to completely love him until he knows about your past and you know about his."
"Yes ma'am."
"Don't yes ma'am me. It makes me feel old," she said, a smile coming across her worn face.
"But you are old, woman," Pedro said as he walked into a room.
"Don't sass me, mijo. I may be old, but I can still find someone to give you a good spanking," she said, giving him a stern look.
"Oh David took care of that earlier this week," Pedro blurted. My face turned a bright shade of red. I couldn't believe that he'd said that to her! Abu felt for me, telling Pedro that he would be in trouble if he didn't stop. I, likewise, gave him a stern look.
"I'm sorry, Dave," he said as he came over and gave me a hug.
"It's OK, babe, I'll forgive you later."
"Que bueno para mí!" he exclaimed. (Woo hoo hoo for me!)
"Breakfast is ready," Abu said. Pedro dug into the bacon, fruit, papas fritas, danishes, eggs, and the few other things that Abu had prepared. Breakfast, he always said, was his favorite meal of the day. I could see why. Pedro inhaled three plates before declaring he was full. I was barely able to finish one plate. All the food was so delectable.
As the day went on, we completed the tasks that Abu had asked us to do for her. We raked the leaves, cleaned the gutters, put the lights on the house and on some of the trees in the front yard.
"Hey Pedro," I said as we walked back into the house.
"Yeah, babe," he said turning around. I walked up the steps to where he was standing.
"I love you, Pedrito."
"I love you, too, David," he said as he kissed me on the cheek.
=====
First off, I'm sorry that this part is so short. I was writing along and I found that I had two different stories, but the transition between the two wasn't strong enough to tie them into one story. The second part is not complete yet, but hopefully it will be over the next few days.
At the first, I said that this chapter has a soundtrack. When I sat down to start writing it, I went through my iTunes and found several songs that I've been listening to as I write. Some are in Spanish; some are in English. Whether you understand the words or not, they're still good songs to listen to. Here goes the list:
- "Contigo en la distancia" Luis Miguel (Christina Aguilera also has a very good version. This is the song that "Josh" was singing in the shower.) 2. "Born To Try" by Delta Goodrem 3. "Lost Without You" by Delta Goodrem (Both 2 and 3 are on iTunes. She's supposed to release her first US CD soon. She's awesome.) 4. "Good is Good" by Sheryl Crow 5. "Nada es para siempre" by Luis Fonsi 6. "Jesus, Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood. (Even though she beat Bo last season, I still have to give her props for the song. It's nice and sweet.) 7. "Rie y Llora" by Celia Cruz (Celia is the oldest person to ever have a Thunderpus remix. But that's not important.) 8. "Make it Go Away" by Taryn Murphy (To find this song, you actually have to google search for the "Wisegirls" soundtrack. It's an awesome song, though. [It's played in the scene in Wisegirls when Rachel (played by Mariah Carey) is visiting Meg's grave.] 9. "Para obtener un si" by Shakira 10. "Dance, Dance" by Fall Out Boy (I listened to this song, but it has more of an influence on the second part.) 11. "Celos" by Marc Anthony. (Again this one is more for the second part, but I wanted to go ahead and include it here, since I'll probably forget to add the soundtrack to the next installment.)
Second. As I write the chapters of the story, I have a clear perception of what the characters look like. When people are reading it though, they have totally different perceptions of how the characters seem. So here's the proposition. I would like for everyone who reads this story to pick three characters, other than David and Pedro, and find a picture of them. Send them to boricuaholandes@hotmail.com. I will pick the two or three of each character that come close to how I think the characeters look and post them to a website. If your picture(s) is (are) selected, you will get an advance copy of Chapter 6! Feel free to send pictures of David and Pedro, but they won't be used in consideration of the contest.
Also, I would like to say a special thanks to Jake and Jason for helping me out with editing. I really appreciate it!
OOH!!! Congratulate me on being one month smoke free as of 1 March 2006!!! ;)
David