THIS STORY IS TOTALLY FICTITIOUS. IT CONTAINS DESCRIPTIVE SEX BETWEEN TWO MEN. IF THIS IS OFFENSIVE TO YOU DON'T READ IT. IF IT IS ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO BE READING IT, YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE TO BEGIN WITH SO JUST GO ELSEWHERE. OTHERWISE, ENJOY IT. JWS
P.S. MOST OF MY WRITING HAS SOME SEX IN IT. IT IS SELDOM IN THE BEGINNING AND IS USUALLY AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE STORY. SO IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR JACKOFF MATERIAL YOU ARE PROBABLY WASTING YOUR TIME READING ME. JWS
FROM PREVIOUS CHAPTER:
"We've known each other barely two weeks. It takes time for a strong bond to form. Let's agree to work toward that strong bond. When I say I love you Nathan, I mean it with my whole heart and soul. But in a year or ten when I say I love it will mean so much more and you can be assured that I will strive toward that goal." He looked up and met Nathan's eyes. They smiled at each other.
"Come over here, you beautiful smart man. You'd think that as a psychiatrist I would know more than you about building relationships." Jim moved over to the sofa and sat as close as he could to him. Nathan gathered him in to a hug. Jim relaxed into his arms and hugged him back. "Do you want to stay here tonight?"
SOMEONE LIKE YOU Chapter 5
They had been snuggled together on the sofa for more than an hour talking when Nathan asked that question. Jim had told him about his evening with his buddy Al and how Al had defended Nathan and insisted that Jim give the relationship a chance to grow. Nathan had decided he liked Al even though he had never met him.
Jim sat back and studied Nathan a moment. "No, I'm going to sleep in my own bed, alone, tonight."
"Oh." Nathan studied his lap for a moment. "Are you doing this to punish me for leaving this morning?"
Jim was incredulous. "Do you think I'm that small?" Before Nathan could answer he said, "I just feel we both need time to figure out where we are going. I really need to think through all that has happened to me this last two weeks. When we're together I get totally lost in emotion. I begin to feel that I am losing my grip."
"Letting go and just flowing with it can be very healthy sometimes."
"Nathan, please, I know it's been three years. Everyone thinks that that should be more than enough time to get past Ted's death." He stopped in thought a moment. "Actually, I am past it. But the roller coaster ride I've been on since I moved in next door has me a little off balance. I need some space to get everything back into perspective."
"I apologize for asking that. I'm just feeling guilty for having done it."
"Look we're past that. You know why you left this morning. I now understand, too. So get over it." He embraced Nathan and kissed him on the side of his neck. He pushed away and stood up. "Come over for breakfast in the morning."
"I have to be at the Juvenile Detention Center at eight."
"Where is that?"
"Off the 57 up in the hills." Nathan stood up and pulled Jim up against him. Jim wrapped his arms around his neck.
"Okay, I'll have breakfast ready at six. That should give you time to eat and be out here on time."
He pushed him back to arm's length, breaking Jim's embrace. "Jim, you don't have to get up that early."
"Hey, I'm up at five every day."
"You're going to spoil me before we even get started."
"Yeah, right." He leaned into Nathan and kissed him on the lips and broke away. "See you in the morning. He opened the door and step out. Nathan followed him.
"You think you're getting away with just a little peck like that?" He pulled Jim into a tight embrace and kissed him hard and long. Jim responded. Finally he broke away, grinning.
"You're trying to get me to stay, aren't you?"
"Did it work?" Nathan asked, grinning back at him.
"Almost."
"Let me try again." He pulled Jim against him. Jim bussed him and pushed away.
"Breakfast. Six o'clock."
Nathan let go and smiled. "Six o'clock." He turned and went back into the house closing the door behind him. Jim stood there looking at the door for a few minutes musing. He was tempted to march right back in and attack Nathan, but he resisted and turned to his own door.
~
At six sharp the doorbell chimed. Jim rushed to answer it. As he pulled the big door open, he asked, " Did you lose you key?"
"No, I thought I should start off on the right foot and be a little more formal. Not be so pushy." He stepped in to the foyer and took Jim into his arms. "Is this being pushy? He asked as he planted his lips on Jim's.
"Yes-no. Hell, I never said you were pushy." He initiated another kiss. Nathan finally broke away.
"Bedroom or kitchen?" He asked.
"Kitchen, Pushy. Coffee's ready, and your breakfast's on the table."
Jim led the way into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee and handed it to Nathan. Nathan looked at the table. It was set with orange juice, milk and a box of Swiss musili. "I envisioned sausage, and eggs and pancakes slathered with butter and real maple syrup." He said with a look of little boy disappointment on his face.
"I'm sorry I never eat those things. But if that's what you want, I can buy some for tomorrow."
"Jim, I'm kidding. I seldom eat them either. Mostly it's Post Toasties, or Cherrios.
"Post Toasties?"
"Alright, Kellogg's Corn Flakes. What's the difference?" he asked as he poured a bowl full. He covered the cereal with milk and dug in.
Jim studiously thought for a moment as if Nathan really did expaect an answer. He shrugged. "One's made by Post and the other by Kellogg?" He asked brightly.
Nathan laughed. "You're really astute this early in the morning. What are you up to today?"
"I don't know. I'll probably putter around the yard, arrange for sod. Go looking for a garden shop and buy some plants."
"Would you like to drive out to Chino Hills with me? We'll only be gone for about three hours."
"Sure, I enjoy spending time with you."
"Do you really, Jim?"
Why Nathan would doubt that perplexed him. Jim answered with out hesitating. "Yes. Yes, I find you warm, loving, and humorous." He got a twinkle in his eye as he smirked. "And you got a fantastic bod."
"It's wonderful you think that, 'cause I feel the same way about you." Nathan stretched across the corner of the table toward Jim. Jim met him half way. When they broke the kiss, Nathan stood up.
"We'd better be going. You never know what the traffic is going to be like. Fortunately we don't have to go very far on the 57."
"Let me change and put on some shoes." Jim scampered toward the stairs. Nathan poured himself a half-cup of coffee and wandered into the living room. It was a large airy room, sparsely furnished, in need of painting and decorating. He started thinking of what his collection of Spanish Revival furniture would look like in here. "Yeah." He thought, "That big early California painting hanging over his sofa would look grand over the fireplace. And my furniture would really make this room, get rid of this new stuff." He suddenly realized the implications of his thoughts. "Yes, I think I'm really ready for a complete commitment to him." Voicing that to himself left him feeling euphoric.
He heard Jim moving around upstairs. Nathan could tell that he had gotten his shoes on. He went back into the kitchen. He placed his cup in the sink, pick up the milk carton and put it in the fridge. He gathered the other dishes off the table, rinsed them and put them in the sink. Jim came into the room, seeing the cleared table he smiled at Nathan.
"Thanks, Babe. I'm ready to go." He said, as he picked up the box of cereal and stuck it in the cupboard. He turned and saw that Nathan had a strange expression on his face. "What?"
Nathan shook his head. "No one has ever called me that before."
"Babe? I'm sorry Nathan I didn't realize you wouldbe offended by it."
"Offended it?" He said walking up to Jim and wrapping his arms around him. "I loved it. It sent goose bumps clear down to my toes. Please, don't stop calling me your babe."
~
"This boy I'm going to see this morning is really a problem. He comes from a well to do family. Parents divorced when he was eight. Custody was given to the mother. The father is openly gay, a macho-ass lawyer. Seems to have the opinion that the world is his to fuck. The mother couldn't control the boy by the time he was thirteen. She turned him over to the father. The boy has run away several times. He started stealing to support himself. This is the fourth time he has been picked up. He hates his father. I suspect that somewhere along the way the father buggered him. Of course the boy hasn't admitted it, but he is sexually aggressive toward the younger boys in the Center. Even though he is only fifteen, he has been placed in with the sixteen and seventeen year olds. He's had several fights since he's been in this time. I keep hoping that I can some how break through his defenses. Cases like this are so heart breaking. I can see that the kid wants help, but I just have not been able to get through to him."
Jim sat sideways in his seat listening and watching Nathan as he drove and talked. Nathan never took his eyes off the road.
"Isn't what you're telling me confidential like patient to doctor?"
Nathan turned and looked at him sharply. He turned back to the road.
"Except for my conjecture about his dad buggering him it's all public record."
Nathan's tone of voice was a rebuke. Jim turned toward the front, watching the passing cars. His feeling of rejection left him empty, bleak. After a couple of minutes of silence he said, "I was molested when I was fourteen. My uncle did it." He voice was so low Nathan strained to hear what he said. "I never told anyone until I met Ted. He helped me work through my problems with it."
Nathan looked over at Jim. He was huddled in on himself, his shoulders slumped, his arms folded, and his chin against his chest. Nathan reached across and rubbed his neck. "God, Jim, I'm sorry. I apologize for snapping at you."
"It's okay. I shouldn't have questioned your integrity. It's just that it's so personal. I know what the boy is going through."
"Do you, Jim? Maybe you could help me get through his shell. Come sit in on the session. Your personal insights might be just what is needed. Will you do that for me, for him?"
Jim straightened up and unfolded his arms. He smiled . "Yeah, if I can help keep this kid from having to go through years of depression and self-hatred like I did, I will do this. Sure." He grinned at Nathan.
~
The room was a sterile institutional green. There was one dull print on a wall, and four worn armchairs around a beat up table. Nathan motioned for Jim to take a seat. "Bobby will be here in a couple of minutes." Jim sat and looked about the drab room. It was enough to make anyone feel defeated.
The door opened and Bobby shuffled into the room. Jim studied the boy as he slumped into a seat. A bell was going off in the back of Jim's mind. He couldn't quite figure out what had set it off. At fifteen the boy was nearly as tall as Jim. A shock of unruly Black hair hung over his forehead. He had intense blue eyes that said he didn't trust the two grown men in front of him.
"Bobby this is a friend of mine. He is going to see if he can help us to a solution. Jim this is Bobby. Bobby this is Jim Baxter."
Jim realized immediately why the boy looked familiar. He was his cousin. Bobby's eyes lit up. "Hey, we have the same last name. And you know what's cool? I have a cousin who lives in L.A. by the same name. I've never met him, though."
Jim shot Nathan a look of consternation. Nathan was nonplussed. He hadn't made the connection of the same last name, but as he looked at Jim and Bobby he could see a definite family simularity. Jim turned back to Bobby.
"Are you from Bakersfield?"
"Yeah, how did you know?"
"Were you named after you dad?"
A dark shadow clouded Bobby visage. "Yeah, him and Pop."
"I call my granddad 'Pop' too. Is your grandmother's name Martha?"
"Yep. So are you my cousin, Jim?" Bobby asked.
"That's the way it looks."
"So my Uncle Jim and Aunt Marti are your parents?"
"Yep." Jim answered. " That makes you and me first cousins." He stood and held his hand out to Bobby. "Nice to meet you, Cuz." Bobby shook his hand and said, "Cool."
Jim looked at Nathan. He still looked dumbfounded. "Nathe, do you think it would be okay if Bobby and I took a stroll out in the yard and got to know each other?" Nathan shook his head to clear his thoughts. He was disconcerted by the turn of events. He had had no idea that Jim and Bobby could possibly be related.
"Sure, of course you can. It will give me a chance to get my thoughts back together."
"Come on, Bobby let's take a walk."
Once out into the open Jim found he was at a loss of how to talk to Bobby.He had spent years in a state of love/hate toward Robert, Bobby's father. With Ted's help he had gotten over the incident and basically had forgotten about him. Now with meeting his son Jim found all the wounds still painful to revisit.
"Pop told me that you and Robert were close friends when you were young. Do you still like him?"
"I haven't seen your dad in at least sixteen years. Why do you call him Robert?"
Bobby ignored the question and asked, "Do you want to see him again?" He was testing the waters. Was he going to be able to trust Jim, his newly discovered cousin?
"No, Bobby, I don't think I'd mind never seeing your dad again."
"I don't want to ever see that ass hole again, either." Jim was surprised by the vehemence in Bobby's voice.
"That's not nice calling your dad a name like that."
"Well, can you think of a better name to call him?" Bobby asked. He was not about to back down, certainly not apologize.
Jim chuckled and admitted, "No, I think that name fits him rather well."
There was a bench under a big elm tree faced to look out over the valley. They wandered over to it and sat down. Jim was lost in memories of a childhood that had been happy until his uncle who was only three years older had forcefully corn holed him. And then threaten to tell his parents that he was a queer cocksucker. Jim had hardly known at the time what that meant but he did know that no one liked queers or cocksuckers. He had retreated into a shell. Depression had become his way of life. His parents were sure that he would grow out of it. He could still hear his mother saying, "It is, after all, one of those things that teenagers sometime go through. I mean, look at Jimmy Dean in his movies." Bobby broke his reverie.
"Jim, what did Robert do that made you hate him?"
"I never said that I hate Uncle Robert."
"So what did he do?"
IF YOU ENJOY READING THIS STORY, HERE ARE OTHERS I HAVE POSTED:
Beginnings "Sonny and the Law" 9-17-01 Relationships "Dining Alone" 10-30-01 Incest "Like a Promised Sunrise" 12-3-01
You may communicate with me at js.collection@verizon.net