Sarah and Allison Sarah Takes A Hand
Allison was not a happy camper. Today was the first day of her medically imposed 5-day banishment from athletics. She was sure Sarah wanted nothing to do with her because of what happened after the game Friday. To top it all off, Allison had a History test and Algebra quiz today. Her mom was in the kitchen when she came down.
"Morning, Darling. Sleep well?"
"Ok, I guess. Just juice, please."
"Not hungry? What's up?"
"Besides a test and quiz, I can't practice, and Sarah is probably totally pissed at me."
Allison's mom hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead and both cheeks. "I know you'll do fine on your tests. You may not like it, but you're being held out of soccer for your own good. I agreed with Sarah's mom and your coach will too. Sarah told you that she loves you and forgives you."
"Yea, right."
Allison's mom took her face by the chin and looked directly into her eyes, "I know you don't believe it, but Sarah loves you. She understands that you weren't yourself and forgives you." She released Allison's chin, "Are you and Sarah coming here after school?"
"If she hasn't totally written me off, yes."
"Try to concentrate on your tests. The rest will take care of itself."
"I'll try. Bye." Allison picked up her bookbag and left for school.
Allison was headed for her first class when she saw the soccer coach. Deciding to get the bad news over with, Allison approached her. "Coach, I have something for you," and handed her the note Sarah's mom had written.
"Morning, Ally. What's up?" She opened the note and read it. With a look of concern, "Minor concussion? When do you think it happened?"
"That header towards the end of the game. I hit my head on the ground pretty hard and may have struck a rock too. I was dizzy for a second and acted differently for about 12 hours after that."
"Ok. Even though you can't participate, I want you there. You can watch things from the side and help me out. I'm sure Dr. Black knows this, but I will need a clearance from her to let you play and practice next week."
"Thanks, Coach. I'll remind her."
Sarah was waiting for Allison when she came out after the team meeting, "Hey, Sunshine. What's shakin?" Allison tensed as Sarah hugged her. Their kiss was brief, almost perfunctory.
"Not much. I think I did ok on my test and quiz and I survived practice. I guess I'm surprised to see you."
"Why?"
"You know why."
Sarah took one of Allison's cheeks in each hand and drew her face down, "I..Love..You! I..Forgive..You!" She kissed Allison's forehead, nose, each cheek, and lips.
Allison had tensed again and closed her eyes, "I love you too."
"Ready to go?"
"Yea, I have a Biology test tomorrow." When they got to Allison's house, her mom hugged them and they settled down to study. Allison's mom set a soda beside each and left them alone.
About the time she started dinner, Allison's mom asked Sarah, "Staying for dinner tonight, Sarah?"
"Can't. Promised mom I'd be home."
When they began to set the table for dinner, Sarah gathered up her books. She hugged Allison and kissed her briefly, "I love you."
"Love you too. Thanks for the help."
When Sarah got home, she found her mom and dad in the living room going through the mail. She knelt in front of her mom and hugged her, shaking. Her mom looked concerned, "What happened, Sweetheart?"
"You were right, Mom. Ally was so distant. She tensed every time I touched her."
"I'm sorry, Darling. I'd hoped I was wrong, but I'm not surprised. She still remembers what she did, not what you said."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Not much. Be consistent is probably best. Continue to tell her that you love her and forgive her. Touch, but don't press the issue unless she asks. And, most important of all, be patient."
"I'll try."
"Dinner will be in a few minutes. Why don't you go wash up?"
"I'm not hungry."
"You need to eat something so you can be strong for Ally. At least sit with us?"
"Ok." She didn't eat much, but her mom was able to get Sarah to nibble on a few things. "May I be excused? I'm going to do my homework and go to bed."
"Of course, Darling. Let me know if you have trouble sleeping."
" `Nite, Mom...Dad."
" `Nite, punkin. Sleep tight."
Sarah's mom called and talked to Allison's mom for a few minutes about the girls. When she checked, Sarah was huddled under the covers. She slipped in, tucked Sarah in tight, and kissed her cheek. Sarah mumbled, "Thanks, Mom."
Tuesday was worse. Allison didn't sleep well and thought she'd blown her Biology test, probably not enough to affect her grade, but still maddening. Not being able to run around and take out her frustrations on the soccer ball just made it worse. They were at Sarah's house, studying, when Sarah reached across and stroked the back of Allison's hand.
Allison closed her book with a loud thump, "Why are we still together?"
"Why would we not be together?"
"After what I did, I expected you to run, not walk, away from me."
Sarah tried to keep her voice calm as Allison got madder, "And what do you think you did?" Another thing her mom had suggested was to get Allison to talk about her feelings.
"I thought I was the one with memory loss. I as much as raped you Friday."
"I haven't forgotten. I told you that I forgive you."
"Why? I forced you to have sex with me."
"No, you didn't. You forced me to undress, to join you in the shower and Jacuzzi, but not to have sex. When you got a little frisky, I pushed back. In fact, I helped you cum before you fainted."
Almost shrill, "But, I used force?!"
"I could have stopped you at any time. I thought it better to stay with you, keep you safe, until mom got home."
Allison screamed and ran out, "I don't deserve forgiveness!!" She even left her books.
Sarah's mom was almost run over. "Mom, stop her," she heard from inside, but Allison was past her before she could react.
Sarah dove for the phone, "Has Allison come home?"
Allison's mom answered, "She just got here. She ran up to her room and slammed the door. What happened?"
"Mom and I will be right there. I'll tell you then." She gathered up Allison's books and virtually dragged her mom back to the car, "We need to go over to Allison's house, Now!"
"Slow down, Darling. We don't want to have an accident on the way, do we?"
"I'm worried about Allison."
"The way she ran out of here, I am too. Don't worry. We'll find out what happened." They pulled up to Allison's and got out. Sarah's mom had her doctor's bag, Sarah had Allison's book bag.
Allison's mom met them at the door, "What happened? All of a sudden, Allison ran through, crying. I heard her door slam at the same time the phone rang."
Sarah and the two moms sat at the kitchen table. She related what happened yesterday, then their conversation today. How Allison had run out screaming. "What do we do now?"
Allison's mom began, "Let me go up and talk to her. If I can get her to come down, Alice can check and be sure it's not related to the concussion. Then we talk."
Sarah's mom continued, "Honey, I know this sounds harsh, but if Allison comes down, it probably would be better if she didn't see you right away."
"I understand. I can stay in the family room, out of sight."
Allison's mom moved slowly up the stairs and knocked on her bedroom door, "Ally, Darling. May I come in?"
She heard Allison sniffle, "Yea, Mom."
Opening the door, Allison's mom found her huddled on the bed. She sat on the bed beside Allison and stroked her hair for a few moments, "Are you Ok?"
Allison sat up and threw her arms around her mom's neck, "Oh, Mom. I may have totally blown it."
"What happened?" Allison related essentially the same conversation Sarah had. "Everything will be all right. I want you to do me a favor."
"What?"
"I want you to come down and let Sarah's mom give you a quick check. We need to be sure what happened today was not related to the concussion."
"Is Sarah downstairs too?"
"Yes, she was worried about you. But you don't have to see her if you don't want too."
"I guess." Allison's mom pulled out a Kleenex, dried Allison's eyes, and held it up so she could blow her nose. Taking a hand in hers, Allison's mom led her down to the kitchen.
Sarah's mom checked Allison. She listened to Allison's heart and lungs, checked her eyes and ears, made sure her reflexes were Ok. "Any trouble sleeping?"
"Other than stress turning flip-flops in my stomach, no."
"Any real bad headaches, blurred vision, memory lapses?"
"No."
Sarah's mom turned to Allison's mom, "She's Ok." Turning back to Allison, "Now, why do you think you don't deserve forgiveness?"
Allison sniffled and a tear ran down her cheek, "I attacked Sarah."
"Why did you attack her?"
"I don't know. It seemed like I was on autopilot. I was watching myself do bad things but couldn't affect anything."
"And that leads you to what conclusion?"
Allison looked down at her hands, "That Sarah was the first one to cross my path. If not her, then I probably would have taken it out on mom when I got home."
Sarah had been listening to the conversation. Allison's back was to her. Allison's head was down and her shoulders shook like she was crying. Sarah padded up behind her and gently rested her hands on Allison's shoulders. She tensed a moment, and then put one of her hands on each of Sarah's and squeezed briefly.
Sarah's mom looked at Allison seriously, "Have you given yourself permission to accept Sarah's forgiveness, and mine, and your mom's?"
Very softly, "No."
Allison's mom asked, "Would you like me to schedule some time with Pastor Paul. Maybe if you talk to an impartial person, it will help."
"Yes, please."
"I'll try to set it up for tomorrow after school."
Sarah's mom looked at her, "I think we should go home and get dinner on the table. Your dad is probably wondering where we are."
Sarah bent down and kissed the top of Allison's head, "Talk at ch'a tomorrow, Sunshine."
Sarah went home after school and started on her homework. She put dinner on and set the table. Sarah tried not to think about Allison. She hoped Allison or her mom would call after they got home.
Sarah's dad got home first. He hugged and kissed her, "Smells good, Punkin. Any word from Ally?"
"Thanks, Dad. Not yet. How was your day?"
"Not bad. I was taking depositions all day."
"Why don't you go sit down? I'll bring the mail and a cup of coffee in a minute."
"Thanks." Sarah brought the mail and her dad's coffee and went back to her studies.
Sarah's mom got home about 20 minutes later. Sarah greeted her at the door, "Hi, Mom. Dad's in the living room."
"Evening, Sweetheart. Any word from Allison?"
"Not yet."
"Dinner smells good. How long `til it's ready?"
"About 10 minutes." Sarah hugged her mom tightly around her neck, "Mom, I'm so worried. I can't remember the last time Allison yelled at me. Will she break up with me?"
Sarah's mom hugged her back, "I told you that Allison heard you but doesn't yet believe you. Hopefully, after her conversation with Pastor Paul, she will. Now, don't you need to check on dinner?"
Sarah kissed her mom's cheek, "Should be on the table by the time you and dad get washed up." Dinner passed with companionable conversation.
"Very delicious, Darling."
"I agree."
The phone rang about the time the dishes were done. Sarah's mom answered and talked for about five minutes. She turned to Sarah when she hung up, "Allison and her mom are back. Jean said things seemed to go Ok, but Allison was out of it and went to bed. They want you to come to dinner tomorrow. I told them you'd be happy to come."
Sarah was relieved, "Thanks, Mom. I'm going to do my homework and go to bed."
"Be sure I check it before you leave in the morning."
"Sure thing. `Nite."
" `Nite, punkin."
Allison was quiet when Sarah met her outside school after the soccer team meeting. Wonder of wonders, Allison took Sarah's hand and kissed her cheek. They walked home, never letting go. Sarah was trying very hard to practice the patience her mom counseled her to.
Allison asked, "You want first dibs on the shower?"
"Ok." Sarah pulled a cd out of her bag and popped it in the boom box before climbing into the shower. Luther Vandross sang "Here and Now" as she turned on the water. Natalie Cole was singing "Miss You Like Crazy" when she finished.
"Your turn."
Allison was studying at the kitchen table. She closed her book, "Thanks."
Sarah got her books out and dug into her Algebra assignment. The sounds of "Always" by Atlantic Starr drifted down from upstairs. Sarah knew that Allison had found her cd. Hopefully it would plant an idea in her mind.
When Allison came down, she leaned down to Sarah's ear, "Very subtle."
Sarah blushed, "Are we cooking or is your mom?"
"We are. There's a tuna casserole waiting to be warmed up, dinner rolls to be put in, and potato salad."
"When do we have to start?"
"Mom said she would be back about 6 and dad should arrive just after that."
"That gives us a little time. What were you working on before you showered?"
"English. I have a quiz tomorrow."
"Anything I can do to help?"
"No, I think I've got it."
Sarah got up to get a Diet-Coke from the `frig. She popped the top and stood there sipping it, watching Allison, and thinking. Allison kissing her cheek and holding hands on the way home was promising. On the other hand, she seemed quiet, introspective. Hopefully, she would be able to draw her out a little.
Allison put the casserole in to warm while Sarah set the table. Her mom came through the door just as Allison put the dinner rolls in. She hugged Allison and then Sarah. Allison's dad arrived a few minutes later and received a similar greeting. Allison's mom set out the casserole, rolls, and salad and everyone sat down. Talk was of inconsequential things, just catching up.
When dinner was done, Allison's mom said, "I'll do the dishes. You two go finish studying."
"Thanks, Mom."
"Be sure I check your assignments before you go to bed."
"Right." The two teenagers went up to Allison's room and dug into their remaining homework. They had her mom bless everything when they were finished. They wished Allison's mom and dad goodnight and got ready for bed. Sarah made a stop in the bathroom and got her cd.
She popped it in Allison's stereo and turned it down low. Peaches and Herb started singing `Reunited'. Sarah slid in first, "I think you could use some cuddle time." Allison spooned up to her. Sarah wrapped her arms around her. Allison didn't flinch but didn't fold in either. After a few minutes, Sarah asked, "Sunshine, can you tell me what happened with Pastor Paul yesterday?"
Allison sighed, "We talked about what happened, what you said, what our mom's said. We talked about what it all might mean."
"And did you come to any conclusions?"
"Yes. That I couldn't forgive myself because I was holding myself to a higher standard. Because it was you that was affected, I couldn't see past it."
"What did Pastor Paul tell you?"
"That love is not perfect. By not forgiving myself, I was denying everyone around me the opportunity to deal with what happened."
"Anything else?"
"That love is two fallible human beings coming together to make the best future they can. But that future has hills and valleys. Hills that make you think you're in heaven and valleys that can shake you to the very core of your being. Hills that can become mountains and valleys that aren't as deep when two people in love work together. That can't happen if you're not open to it."
"What does that mean for us?"
"I've been thinking about just that since we left Pastor Paul. You've been telling me all along that you forgive me, even though you didn't think there was anything to forgive. I think I'm finally starting to believe it. I need some time to fully process everything, but I'm on the way."
"I told you, I'm not going anywhere. As long as it takes, I'll be right beside you. Sleep now, Love." Allison wrapped Sarah's arms tighter around her, but she could tell Allison wasn't relaxed. "I love you more today than I did yesterday, but not as much as I will tomorrow." She heard `Ain't No Mountain High Enough' just as she fell asleep.
Alison's mom woke them up before the alarm went off. "If both of you are going to get in the bathroom and have breakfast before you have to leave for school, you need to get moving."
"Ok, Mom. We're up." Allison turned to Sarah and shook her gently. When she didn't move, she bent down and kissed her nose, "Morning, Munchkin. Time to get ready for school."
"Five more minutes, Mom."
"I'm not your mom and if you don't want me to resort to all-out tickle war, I suggest you move."
Sarah's eyes flew open, "I'm up. No fair."
"Fair doesn't get us out the door," and headed for the bathroom.
Sarah was nursing a glass of juice in the kitchen when Allison came down. "Morning, Mom. What's to eat?"
Allison's mom smiled. Maybe things were looking up, "Cereal, if you're in a hurry. Pancakes, if you have a minute."
Allison giggled as Sarah trudged up the stairs, "I think I have a few minutes." There were days when Sarah was not a morning person, and this was one of them. When Sarah came back down, Allison's mom put a plate of pancakes in front of her.
Sarah reached into Allison's closet to get some school clothes. She realized that there was only one outfit left, "I need to remember to bring some clothes over." This was one of the times she envied Allison her uniform. It was so much simpler to dress in the morning, not that she had any choice today.
Sarah and Allison grabbed their bookbags and hugged Allison's mom. She reminded Allison, "Remember, you're going to Sarah's after school so her mom can clear you to resume playing."
"I remember, Mom. I'm sure if I didn't, Sarah would drag me along."
Sarah smiled, "Anything to turn that frown upside down."
When they got to West Catholic, Allison squeezed Sarah's hand and kissed her on the cheek, "See you after school, Munchkin." Sarah smiled and waved.
Allison was waiting for Sarah when she got there after school, "How was your quiz?"
"Think I aced it."
"Good. Ready to go?"
"If you're waitin' on me, you're falling behind."
"Well, let's go then, Miss Hoity-Toity." Allison took Sarah's hand and they headed for home. About halfway home, Allison looked around. Seeing no one, she stopped Sarah, drew her chin up, and planted one of those earth-shattering, lift-you-up-to-heaven, hope-it-never-ends kisses. Sarah stumbled a bit when Allison finally let her go.
"Wow. Welcome back."
"Thanks. Maybe not all the way. I wanted to see if I still knew how."
"Believe me, you'll hear no complaints from me."
Sarah's mom was waiting for them. She hugged them, "Ready to see if you can go back to work on Monday?"
"You bet. There've been a few times this week when pounding on a soccer ball would've been helpful. Coach wanted me to remind you that she needed written permission before I could play or practice again."
"Already done. All I need to do is sign it."
Sarah's mom indicated a chair in the living room, "Please sit, Honey, and we'll get started." She listened to Allison's heart and lungs, checked her eyes and ears, made sure her reflexes were Ok. "Any trouble sleeping?"
"Only what I mentioned last time you checked me out, and that's better now."
"Any real bad headaches, blurred vision, memory lapses?"
"No."
Sarah's mom sat in front of Allison and took her hands, "You're fine. I'll sign your permission slip with one understanding."
"What?"
"That if you feel anything unusual in the next two weeks, anything at all, you'll let someone know immediately. If you're on the field, come off as soon as you can. Agreed?"
"Agreed."
"I'll give you the letter later. Why don't you two get started on your homework while I finish getting dinner ready. I'll let you know when I need the table set." She swatted Sarah on the butt.
Sarah almost ducked the swat. "You bet, Momster."
It seemed like Sarah and Allison didn't make as much progress on their homework as they did on playing patty-fingers. They were giggling like little schoolgirls when they were called down to set the table for dinner. They made it through dinner without embarrassing themselves, even cleaned up without harm or mess.
Sarah's mom called out, "If you two are done making noise, I have a surprise for you."
Sarah bubbled in, "What's that?"
"Sit and find out." When Sarah and Allison were settled on the couch, she pushed the `play' button on the remote and "The Incredibles" started.
Both girls clapped, "Yea!!!!!!!!!."
"I thought you could use a treat." She left the room for a few minutes and came back with popcorn and drinks. Everyone grabbed something and settled in to watch the movie. After it was over, Sarah's mom stood up, "I feel like dancing. How `bout you?"
"You bet. Any chance I get to snuggle up to my Sunshine, I'll take." Allison blushed while Sarah's dad started the stereo. They'd been dancing about an hour when Sarah's parents announced they were going to bed.
Sarah and Allison left the stereo on and spooned together on the sofa. They covered themselves with an afghan and reveled in the closeness. Allison still wasn't totally relaxed, but better. No words were said. The two lovers just breathed. It wasn't long before they were asleep.
Sarah felt someone shake her shoulder, "Huunh?"
"Unless you want to sleep on the sofa all night, I suggest you go up to bed."
Sarah rubbed her eyes, "Thanks, Mom."
Reaching down to nudge Allison, "Hey, Sunshine. I suggest we adjourn our discussion to the bedroom."
"Can't we stay here?"
"We could, but there's not a lot of room for lovin'."
Allison stretched cat-like, "You may be right. Shall we go?"
"Indubitably!" They went up to Sarah's bedroom, hand-in-hand. They undressed and slid under the covers, this time face-to-face. They started out kissing, caressing nipple and breast. They continued until both had quietly, but definitely, cum. Sarah rolled over and folded herself into Allison's arms.
" `Nite, Love."
" `Nite, Munchkin."
Sarah's dad checked on the girls later. He found them curled up together. Pulling the covers up tight and tucking them in, he kissed each one on the cheek, "Good night, Ladies." On the way out, he put two envelopes on the dresser. One had a sunshine pendant necklace on top of it. The other had a tree necklace.
The lovin' continued through the weekend. The exploration. The normality. Allison made progress towards putting what happened after the concussion behind her. She went back to practice on Monday and scored two goals the next game.
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Copyright 2004 Donal