Starting Over

A friend of mine posted this story for me a few years ago, it's time for me to do it myself.

Please send any comments to ineke_sp@hotmail.com

You found this story either on Nifty or ASSGM so the fact that it contains sex between men shouldn't come as a surprise.

Starting Over

I'm leaving him I've made up my mind I've had enough of his abuse I can't stand it anymore. He keeps telling me how much he loves me and every time he has a drink he start Beating the shit out of me.

I've been explaining black eyes to my colleagues for three years now and I'm out of excuses. I mean how long do I have to wait for him to change? So today I'm going home after he has gone to work and I'm packing my bags. I'm outa here.

Oh before I forget let me tell you who I am my name is Bobby I'm 25 years old and I live with a guy called Trevor, I once thought he was the love of my life. Than out of the bleu he started drinking and beating me up, we where living together for four years before he decided to start using me as a punching bag. I won't tell you we had a perfect relationship but I thought we had found a comfortable life together. I was happy most of the time and I thought he was too. We didn't have big fights and the sex was all right.

But I will tell you more about myself later, now I have to pack my stuff and get the hell out of here. Bear with me for a while, will you?

It's not a fun job to pack everything you gathered over the years and knowing you can't take to much because you don't know where you will sleep a week from now. One thing I have to leave behind are my CD's of which I have quite a few. I can't take all of my clothes too, but I have to hurry now I don't want Trevor to catch me packing, I honestly don't think I would survive that.

By the time I am done packing it's 16.00 and since Trevor gets home at 17.00 I have to get going now.

I'm going to stay with a colleague for a few days she's the only one that knows the truth about me and my black eyes.

She helped me make up my mind about getting out of the relationship I'm in. She showed me Trevor was abusing me because I let him do that to me.

She listened for years to my stories and never judged me once, she just listened and made me see things the way they where.

It still amazes me someone can be that patient and kind, but we are both afraid Trevor will figure out she put me up so I can't stay to long.

I quit my job and I'm still looking for a new one but I have money of my own Trevor could never touch, thank god I made sure of that.

I take my bags and leave the house in tears. Debby is waiting in the car I called her about an hour ago to come pick me up.

First thing I'm going to do is get my drivers license. I never needed it before, living in a big city it's much easier to take public transport.

But now that I want to go and live in a smaller town I might need it.

On the way to Debby's house I'm so preoccupied with my thoughts I'm not real good company

But I hardly think Debby will mind so I don't care.

As we pull in the driveway I think about what I just left behind and start crying, Debby doesn't say a word she just opens her door and walks into the house, what can I do but follow.

When we are in the house she leads me to the couch and sits me down. She puts her hand on mine and says "it's ok baby you let it all out, have a good cry, I'll go and fix you some tea and we'll talk for as long as you want." With that she gets up and walks into the kitchen.

I do just as she told me to do I cry and cry and then cry some more, every time I think I'm all cried out I remember something else and start all over again.

After a while Debby comes back into the room, I think she must have made at least two pots of tea by now.

She puts a cup of tea before me and sits down, she smiles at me and I give her a watery smile

Then I look down at my knees and start talking to her.

"I still love him you know, I once thought this relationship would last forever we could talk about everything we just had to look at one an other to laugh our asses of."

"I still don't know what changed that, he started drinking more and more, and then one night we got in a fight over something silly and he hit me in the face."

"It scared me but I think it scared him even more, he cried all night and kept telling me he was sorry it would never happen again and it didn't for almost 4 months."

"But than he did it again and he was so sorry, but the next time it was 2 months later and then he beat me almost weekly."

"I couldn't get away, first because I loved him and after a while because he told me he would kill me if I tried."

"Somehow you get to feel so trapped in the relationship you can't get out but I'm so blessed to have a friend like you who always listened to me, you know how much I love you don't you?"

Debby looked at me and laughed than she said, " to bad you don't like girls we would make a great couple you and me."

I winked at her and said, "oh but I do like girls I just like making out with boys better."

Later that night when I had gone to bed I tried to imagine Trevor's face when he found out I left him, it wasn't a pretty sight.

Next morning it was Saturday and I had nowhere to go, so I slept late and enjoyed Debby's company.

Sunday was much the same as Saturday. I had an uneventful weekend to say the least, and I loved it. I had gotten so used to Trevor being around and harassing me al the time about every little thing, from the way the house looked to the color of the fucking toilet paper.

It was so nice to be able to just sit quiet and not have to do a thing, I think I must have bored Debby half to death but she never said a word about it.

I took my time reading the morning paper, took a very long bath, just sat on the couch thinking.

Just generally didn't do a thing, I think you get the picture.

Then Monday came along and felt like I had to go look for a house and a job in a nice little town I wanted to live in. Then I realized I didn't 'have' to do a thing.

So I just stayed in and cleaned house for Debby, I know how much she hates to do that and since she didn't want to take any money from me I figured I could as well make my sorry ass useful and do some cleaning.

I cleaned out the fridge and decided that was a mistake, I think some of the organisms that lived there where older than me. So my best friend wasn't much of a housekeeper but she sure was a hell of a good friend.

As the days went by I stopped wanting to look for a job and started to get more and more depressed. I thought getting away from Trevor was going to solve all my problems but that was a mistake. Now I started beating myself up over the fact I let him abuse me. I felt myself sliding down hill into a dark and nasty place and I could do nothing to stop it. Debby thought I should get some help but oh no being the stubborn and pigheaded guy I am I told her I didn't need any help.

So I kept getting gloomier, until one day three months after I left Trevor I hit rock bottom.

The thought of getting everything over with came up and wouldn't go down again, so I took with me al my sleeping pills and went to bed.

That night must have been the longest one in my life I never felt more alone, I counted and recounted those pills over and over again. 51 sleeping pills 51, 51, 51, I thought they ought to do the trick.

I wanted to be held but there was no one there to hold me, Trevor didn't want me, my parents kicked me out when I told them I was gay, I'm no good to anyone might as well just get it over and done with.

Then I heard a noise coming from the other room. I listened more carefully and heard Debby scream "no don't no please don't!"

I ran into her room and saw her thrashing around on the bed obviously having a nightmare.

I sat down on the bed next to her and put my hand on her arm "Debby honey wake up it's just a dream Debby wake up!"

She opened her eyes and looked at me "Oh shit that was an awful dream I dreamt you committed suicide and I couldn't stop you."

I could do anything but stare at her with my mouth hanging open and I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes.

Debby looked at me and she shook her head "Oh no! Oh my god no! Tell me you didn't!"

"Bobby honey we are going to get you help, first thing in the morning I'm calling a therapist I know she's very good with people that have been abused by their spouse."

"Did you do anything or take any pills I should know about? Are we going to have to go to the hospital?"

"No I didn't take any pills yet but I was going to though, I'm going to try and sleep and I will talk to your shrink." I told her.

She looked at me and shook her head saying "Oh now baby you are sleeping with me tonight I'm not having you sleep alone now!"

I crawled in the bed with her and she took me in her arms stroking my back I felt myself calm down and much to my surprise I fell a sleep fairly soon.

When we woke up Debby, true to her word as always, phoned the therapist and told my story to her. The woman on the other side listened to it and then she recommended I'd see a college of hers

Specialized in gay men in abusive relationships.

I couldn't believe my ears I really thought I was the only one that let his lover beat the shit out of him and now someone tells me he's an expert on the subject.

Later that day I had a 'session' with my new therapist and we decided a self-help group and regular visits with him would be best for me. One hour session a week with the therapist Ben

and two meetings a week with the self-help group should do for now.

It felt good to talk to someone that was able to help me put things right in my head. Not only my relationship with Trevor was discussed but my parents also came up.

I'm usually a closed person I don't allow many people inside my little circle the only ones that get close are the ones that see through me. Debby saw me for what I am from day one.

I look a bit arrogant and real self-confident but I'm a shy guy really and always afraid of rejection even from total strangers I need to be liked by everyone. I know I'm a basket case.

Kids at school used to pick on me a lot, they knew I wasn't like them right away.

I talk a lot but I am capable of doing so without saying anything personal, so it took Ben quite some time to get me to open up about myself.

But when I opened up to him even I was amazed with what came out. I will not bore you with all the details though. Ben has to listen to me, I pay him, but I don't want to scare you guy's of.

Thursday at 8 PM I had my first meeting with the support group (they prefer that name so who am I to argue) I was nervous and scared the others would think I was some sort of idiot for staying with Trevor as long as I did.

Right on time I walked in the room so I didn't have time to introduce myself, which suited me just fine.

But the group counselor saw right through me and asked me to introduce myself before he began with the evening. I told my name and age and nothing else because I was afraid I would start crying if I did and being a child of my generation, you know the one in witch boy's don't cry I wasn't going to start there in a room full of strangers.

He let me get away with it and the other men started telling me their names, there where 9 other men with me and the counselor that made 11. As it turned out this was a new group so we where all a bit unsure what to expect. The counselor started by telling his name, Lloyd, and asking us to call him by his name, please no sir. We all laughed politely. Then we where to introduce our self

To the group and tell how long we stayed in the relationship we where in and how long ago we broke it up.

I thought that was a bit unnecessary but who am I luckily Lloyd didn't start with me but with a young men right next to him.

The boy introduced himself as Brian he was 29, but looked like 18; he had been in an abusive relation for 7 years and left 6 months ago.

He was a beauty about 6 ft long, dark curly hair, green eyes, straight nose, and full lips.

A bit on the thin side but he seemed to fill his jeans well.

Christ was I really checking him out? I hadn't looked at an other man for so long I almost forgot how much fun it was.

Next was a man named Dennis, than Peter, Sam, Joe and Joey. They al stayed in their relationships much longer than I did which made me feel a little better about my leaving after three years.

The last three where Robert, Danny and Craig. They al left after a little over a year.

Lloyd told us we where going to work in small groups, as a whole group and alone.

I don't want to get too much into the sessions with my fellow ex-victims as we liked to call ourselves. Because it is a bit private and we had to swear to secrecy.

I took the liberty to change almost everybody's name just a little except for Lloyd's.

But I can tell you it helped to talk to people that understood exactly what I meant and recognized it because it happened to them too. It still took me 4 weeks before I felt comfortable enough to tell my story and then it seemed like I couldn't stop talking, I told everything that Trevor did to me.

Every beating in detail. In the beginning I tried to find a reason for the beating until Lloyd made me see Trevor didn't need a reason, he hurt me because it made him feel better somehow.

Before I start to drift, after a couple of weeks I shared my story and Brian told his the same week.

It wasn't al that different from mine and he only looked at me the whole time, like he was telling it to me. I suppose it made him feel safe because I shared mine just before he could too.

He kept glancing at me the rest of the meeting, when it was time to go home I thought he wanted to talk to me because he started to say something, than changed his mind, said bye and left in a hurry.

The next Monday took forever to come around, I wanted to see Brian again and I promised myself I would talk to him today. During the coffee break I almost ran to make sure I sat next to him, two of the older men smiled because they had seen me taking little peeks at him every time he looked the other way.

What I didn't know at that time was he had been doing the same.

Here I was sitting next to a guy I really liked and I couldn't come up with anything to say. Dennis sat down on my other side and asked us how we felt about going for a cup of coffee after tonight's meeting. I looked at Brian to see what he was going to do and then I thought, what the hell I want to get to know the rest of these guys too. So I said, "sure I would love to" then I got real bold and asked Brian "you coming too?" he took a look at me and said, "ok I'm game." I nearly jumped of my chair but I managed to control myself.

The second part of the meeting was wasted on me I didn't hear a word Lloyd said I didn't care either I wanted to talk to Brian, hell I wanted a bit more than talking.

Finally the meeting was over and we went to a nice restaurant to get some coffee and chat outside the walls of the building we held our meetings at.

Somehow I got the seat next to Brian I think al the guys had noticed I had a bit of a crush on him.

I smiled at him a lot but I didn't know what to say to him then someone started talking about films and music now that was a good subject, I love good films and music.

I told about a film I just saw about a priest that was gay and got arrested for having sex in a car in broad daylight. It was a great film, the priest had some tough decisions to make. Now one had seen it but they where going to look for it.

Brian told us about a film he saw called "beautiful thing" a nice coming out film about two young boys in London. I saw that one too and I loved it, actually I taped it and I invited Brian to come over and see it sometimes. He looked at me and said, "sure, why not right now?" I must admit he took me by surprise there, but hey why not Debby was out of town for a few days and besides she asked me about a thousand times when I was going to find myself a boyfriend and have a life again.

We said goodbye to the other guy's and got on our way, when we came outside I thought I saw someone hide in the porch of a shop I shook my head and forgot it instantly when Brian touched my arm.

We drove to Debby's place in Brian's car, I'm still taking driving lessons, and went in the empty and silent house.

Brian said he liked my place but he looked at it a bit funny, it's very obvious there lives a girl there. I might be gay but pink cushions and lace curtains are definitely not my style.

I quickly informed him about who's house we where in and he asked if I was sure she wouldn't mind so I told him about her telling me to get a life.

I didn't forget to mention she was away for a few days either. We went into the living room and

I made some tea, for obvious reasons we both aren't big on booze.

We sat and talked for a while and then Brian asked if we could watch 'beautiful thing' I put the tape in the VCR and we sat next to each other on the couch. Then came a scene where the two boy's lay in bed and cuddle I felt Brian moving a little closer, not really touching me but I could feel his warmth. Later on in the film where they kiss I felt his arm slip behind me and his hand rested on my shoulder. It felt so good to be close to someone again I just let my head rest on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his body next to mine his hand gently caressed my shoulder and he slightly turned his body so I would be comfortable.

His soft fingers stroked my cheek and I looked up at him, smiling, he slowly closed the distance between our faces, giving me the opportunity to get away if I wanted.

His eyes wandered from my eyes to my mouth and back. I closed my eyes and when his soft lips touched mine I moaned. It felt so very good to kiss him. He slowly opened my mouth with his lips

When his tongue touched mine it felt like electricity passing between us and my eyes shot open. I looked into his and then he closed them and so did I. We kissed for an eternity gently caressing each other.

Then Brian asked if he could stay the night he said "I don't want anything to happen we are both still hurting to much but I do so desperately want to hold you in my arms tonight."

I looked at him and decided to trust my instincts and say yes I mean, how can you say no to a question like that?

We got up and walked to my bedroom holding each other, then we both took a shower, separately,

And crawled into bed.

He took me in his arms and started crying he said "It has been so long since I held someone in my arms you feel so good." I lay my arm around his chest and hugged him as close as I could without suffocating him.

We just drifted into a deep dreamless sleep it was the first time in years I slept al night without waking up once.

The next morning I woke up and saw Brian laying on his side looking at me. When he saw I was awake he smiled and gave me a kiss on my cheek, "I have to go now Bobby or else there will be things happening we both aren't ready for."

I looked in his eyes and said "ok I think you are right but I would like to kiss you before you go, so wait here while I go brush my teeth."

"Hey wait a minute!" he called, "I want to brush my teeth to, do you have spare toothbrush?"

"Sure I do, hold on I'll get you one." And I dashed down the stairs to get the fresh toothbrush Debby always kept in her room. We brushed our teeth standing hip to hip both wearing only boxer shorts and continuously watching each other in the mirror. I used my right hand to brush and my left to stroke Brian's back he tried to brush with his left hand but to no avail so he couldn't return the pleasure.

When I was done I rinsed my mouth out with water and Brian did the same, never taking our eyes of each other we moved closer and closer until our mouths touched in a tender kiss.

I moved closer trying to blend my body into his our, hands caressing, stroking, touching and feeling each other.

Then Brian let his hand slip under the waistband of my boxers and I freaked. The day before I left Trevor raped me and somehow that hand on my bare butt just brought it al back.

I pushed Brian away, screaming as loud as I could, I totally lost it. Brian tried to calm me down but I was reliving the past and al I heard was Trevor screaming at me and attacking me I was so scared Brian didn't get through to me. I crawled in a corner of the shower cabin covering my head and crying. After what seemed like forever I became aware of where I was and immediately thought about how Brian must be feeling.

I saw him sitting on the floor of the bathroom with his knees pulled up and his arms around them, his body trembling and occasionally shivering. I got up and softly said his name he looked up at me with tears streaming down his face he said, "I'm so sorry Bobby I will leave you alone, I didn't mean to hurt you I only stayed to make sure you are ok now."

I sat down next to him and put my arm around his shoulder pulling his head onto my chest. "It's ok Brian it wasn't anything you did it was my mind playing a nasty trick on me. In fact I was about to do the same thing you did when we where so rudely interrupted."

Brian looked up at me and smiled through his tears, "you sure you're ok?"

"Yes I'm sure I'm ok, but I'm going to have to talk about this with my therapist because it was no fun at all."

"What happened to you? Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"

"Absolutely you did nothing wrong, I saw Trevor in my mind the last time he raped me and he hurt me real bad that time and it happened in our bathroom so my mind just went into sensory overload I guess."

Brain asked, "do you want to talk about it? I will understand, you know it happened to me too remember?" I shook my head because I wanted to talk to Ben first and I told him so.

"What do you want me to do, I will stay if you want me to but I will understand if you need to be alone." Brian asked.

"Can you please stay with me? The last thing I want now is to be alone, we can go to the mall for a while or just sit in the garden if you like and talk." I knew I was babbling on now but I needed him to stay I couldn't face being alone now, I would just drive myself nuts going over and over it in my head.

"Ok you've convinced me I'll stay but can I get some food please before I'll faint." Brian said smiling at me.

After breakfast we sat in the backyard talking until it was dinnertime and Brian was going to stay the night again. We ate pizza and both had a coke and al the time we talked about everything that came to mind music, movies, likes and dislikes. But our abusive relationships never came up we both didn't want to talk about that right now. We knew we had to sometimes but not right now. We just felt comfortable being together, occasionally touching and a little kiss now and than.

We watched a movie on television but we didn't see much of it, when it was time for bed we both undressed separately and brushed our teeth in private. I was already in bed when Brian came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of my boxers and a T-shirt. I noticed he looked real good in my boxers.

He sat down on the edge of the bed in doubt whether to take of the T-shirt or not. I didn't say a word to help him and he just sat there, thinking, finally he made up his mind pulled of the damned thing and got in bed with me. I was lying on my side with my head leaning on my hand watching him I wanted to touch him but wasn't sure if I should. Brian lay on his back staring at the ceiling and he looked like he wasn't going to move any time soon. I made up my mind and moved closer so I could put my head on his chest my arm over his stomach and my leg over his legs. I felt so good touching him like that I wanted to stay like that for the rest of the night. Brian put his arm around me and hugged me tight, we fell asleep that way.

Something woke me up in the middle of the night I was confused at first but soon realized it was Brian, he was having a nightmare crying out, "no please Pete don't Pete don't please you're hurting me, stop it!"

I wasn't sure what to do but than I turned on the bed light and gently touching his shoulder woke him up whispering to him the whole time, "it's ok Brian you're safe now it's ok calm down you're safe."

Slowly he seemed to realize where he was and he started to calm down a bit. I sat up and he hugged me so tight it hurt while crying without making a sound just taking deep shaky breaths every now and than. My heart went out to him, at that same moment I realized I had fallen in love with him. And that scared me. I didn't know if I was ready for a relationship.

Right now al I could do was comfort Brian I would worry later. "Do you want to talk about your dream?"

"I dreamt I was with Pete again, he was punching me in the stomach telling me I was worthless and useless, you woke me up when he was about to rape me."

I stroked his back and he continued "Pete used to like telling me how worthless I was and how no one would ever want me if I left him he said I would never find someone because I was so stupid."

"I believed him, for a long time I felt stupid and ugly and I couldn't leave him, I couldn't leave him because I would never find anyone to love me." Brian let out a deep sigh "I liked you from the beginning but I never thought you would like me."

"Are you kidding me? I noticed you the first night and I've been trying to build up enough courage to talk to you. Don't we make nice pair?" I shook my head and laughed. Brian looked at me and he started laughing too next thing we knew we where rolling around on the bed laughing our asses of.

We laughed until our stomachs hurt, boy that felt good, it had been far to long since I had a good laugh and I suspect Brain felt the same way. We just lay there watching each other, Brian made the first move he closed the distance between our faces and kissed me.

I closed my eyes and opened my mouth to welcome him. It felt like the whole world just stopped at that moment. Nothing ever felt like this, our lips where the only part of our body's touching.

Still I never felt safer and closer to anyone then right now, I wanted it to go on forever. Our tongues where gently getting to know the others mouth not rushing a thing. Brian sucked on my tongue and a low moan escaped my mouth, when he let go of it I retracted it into my own mouth and his followed quickly. I returned the pleasure he gave me and his moans showed me he liked it too. After what seemed like forever Brian let go of my mouth he looked in my eyes, "can I please touch you?"

I smiled and said "please touch me where ever you want to because I'm going to touch you too if I may." Brian's grin said it al and I proceeded to touch his chest and stroke his nipples I moved to lay down half on top of him to kiss him again.

Then I licked and kissed my way down his face and neck taking my time to nibble on his earlobes and gently bite his neck. When I touched his nipples with my tongue they where already hard and he sucked in his breath and let it go with a soft moan. Licking one nipple I gently rubbed the other one between my thumb and fingers. Then I let my hands slide down and felt his strong muscles ripple under my fingers.

Before letting my hand slide under the waistband of his boxers I had to make sure this was what he wanted so I asked "Brian are you absolutely sure this is what you want? I'll stop right now if you even have the smallest doubt about it, please don't feel like you owe me anything."

Brian looked down at me and smiled, he said, "I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I want to make love to you, and I want you to make love to me."

"Ok" I said, "just checking, now lay down and let me love you."

Brian obeyed immediately. I kissed his stomach along the line of the waistband and then gently pulled it down. Brian lifted his beautiful butt to make it easier. When I pulled his (my) boxers al the way down I stopped to admire his body. He had the most beautiful penis I had ever seen it was uncut and slightly curved to the right with a beautiful mushroom shaped head and a lot of thick bleu veins on the shaft.

I think it was about 7.5 inches and fat. There was a stream of precum leaking from it and I stuck out my tongue to taste it. It tasted a bit salty and bit sweet, I loved it! I kissed the head and licked my way down to his pubes trying to get it wet al over

Licking my way back up again I knew I wanted him to make love to me, I felt my ass twitching with anticipation. I took the head of his beauty in my mouth and slowly let my lips slide al the way down until I could feel it pushing against the back of my throat swallowed a few times and in it went. I rested my nose in his pubes and massaged him with my throat while gently squeezing his balls. Finally I had to have some air and I lifted my head of his cock only to let it slide back in right away.

Brian was seriously moaning by now, to me that is the most erotic sound in the world, I love to hear a guy moan because I'm giving him pleasure.

Suddenly he took my head in his hands, "oh stop wait a moment or I'm gonna shoot my load already." He said through clenched teeth. "Come up here and kiss me I want to feel your mouth on mine."

I was only too happy to oblige and did what he asked of me.

I climbed on top of him and kissed his passionately. Then I kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear "Brian I want you to make love to me, will you please fuck me?" He took my head in his hands and looked at me trying to read what he read in my eyes. "Are you sure you want me to do that? Remember what you just told me? You don't owe me a thing you don't have to do anything you are not sure about."

Smiling at him I told him, "I'm absolutely sure and not because I think you might want to but because I want to, I need to feel you inside me just be careful and go slow."

"Ok if that's what you want, what do you want to use to lube yourself up?"

I thought for a moment and then remembered the bottle of baby-oil I kept in the bathroom that would do nicely.

I got up to get it and told Brian to lay still and wait for me, he said he wasn't going anywhere and I felt him watching my ass as I walked away. Coming back in the room with the bottle of oil seeing Brian there on the bed waiting for me brought a big silly smile to my face I couldn't help myself he made me so happy. He looked at me and said, "I've been thinking it over and I think you should sit on top of me that way you are in control and you can go as fast or as slow as you want."

"I would love that" I said, climbing back in bed I started to rub the oil in his cock and made it nice and slick then I wanted to oil up my hole but Brian told me he wanted to do that. So I turned around and he rubbed the oil into my quivering love-hole. He started with gently inserting one finger and moving it around then a second and soon a third finger where inside of me and I wiggled my butt because of the pleasure he gave me. By now I was more then ready to have his fat cock inside me and I moved away from his probing fingers to lower myself on his hot cock.

I felt his cockhead push into me and held my breath for a few seconds and let it go with deep moan it felt so good. I let him slide in me a little further al the time looking Brian in his eyes to show him I was ok. When he was in me al the way I felt his cock twitch and he told me to sit real still or it would be over before it begun. After a few minutes he said I could start moving now and when I did I was in heaven his fat cock touched every feel good spot in my sensitive ass. I moaned out loud and so did Brian, "shit baby I'm not going to last long you are so tight and hot you feel so good around my cock, ohhhh slow down a bit please!!!! Oh baby you feel so good."

I stopped moving and got of him, "now I want you to fuck me for real." I said as I pulled him up.

I laid down on my back and pulled up my legs to give him better access, Brian got the message and sat down between my legs he positioned his fat cock against my asshole and slowly pushed it in me. When he was in al the way he pulled out almost al the way again looked at me and asked,

"are you sure?"

I hissed "yes" and he slammed his cock back in I moaned "oh yes fuck me hard please yes fuck me hard oh god that feels so good fuck me!!!!!!!" Brian didn't hold back he fucked me good and hard ramming his fat cock inside me like he was trying to ram himself in me al the way.

Leaning on his strong arms he bend down and kissed me like was fucking me, hard, I loved it, my dick was caught between our bodies and ready to blow at any time. When I felt Brian start to moan in my mouth and felt his cock pulse, I came like I never came before in my life it felt like I was going to explode into a zillion pieces. When I came to my senses again I started to cry and Brian thought he had hurt me. He tried to pull his cock out of me but I held him so close he couldn't.

I whispered to him, "don't pull away I'm crying because I'm so happy, I never thought I could enjoy making love again, after you know what, as a matter of fact I never enjoyed making love as much as I did just now."

That started Brian crying too and we just lay there for a long time him on top of me and both crying and whispering to each other.

I guess we fell asleep that way because when I woke up it was 9 am and there was someone staring at us with a big grin on her face.

"Hi honey" she whispered "I can't leave you alone for even a few days can I?"

She looked at Brian's bare butt and laughed "I hope the rest of him looks as good as his ass does."

I looked at her trying to control herself and lost it too, I started laughing out loud and that woke up Brian. He was a bit confused about me laughing and him lying on top of me, Debby standing there didn't help either he tried to cover himself up but we lay on top of the duvet so that was not an option. Than he decided to just get up and introduce himself to Debby. She looked him up and down and smiled when he offered her his hand. "Hi I'm Brian," he said. "And I'm Debby, I hoped you would be Brian, Bobby doesn't shut up about you, you know."

"Oh is that so? What does he tell you about me?"

"Mostly how cute you are and that he likes you but is to shy to talk to you, but I guess he has overcome that, at least I hope so." She smiled at me "I'm going to leave you two lovebirds so you can get dressed I'll make some tea in the mean time."

Brian laughed and said, "I guess he also told you I don't drink coffee."

"I didn't tell her anything we talk about in our meetings" I told Brian.

"I know" he said "come on lets take a shower together I want an excuse to touch all of you."

"You don't need an excuse to touch me you can do that when ever you like"

"I'll keep that in mind but for now get your cute butt out of that bed and follow me to the shower."

Brian wiggled his ass and I was out of my bed in a heartbeat. He adjusted the water to be just right and pulled me in to shower with him. He washed me, every square inch of me, thoroughly. He didn't forget my hair and he took his time washing my cock and balls. In fact he dropped down to his knees, Christ I love it when I see a man drop to his knees, and he tried to clean them with his mouth. He did a great job trying, he had me moaning and trembling within seconds and I came very soon after he started sucking in earnest. He swallowed my whole 7 inches in one take and started sucking the life out of me bobbing his head up and down making a lot of noise. I had to steady myself against the walls of the shower to keep from falling and I think the whole neighborhood heard my scream when I unloaded in Brian's mouth.

We proceeded to do what we were in the shower for and went to the kitchen to have breakfast and a cup of tea. Debby was sat at the table and smiled at us but when she saw me blushing she laughed out loud and asked if the water had gotten cold or something. I answered, how stupid can you get, "No, why?" and she lost it, tears where streaming down her face she actually sounded like a pig snoring but eventually she calmed down, but every now and than while we where talking she would look at me and start laughing again.

It's a good thing I love her as much as I do or I think I would have been real pissed at her. She gave Brian the third degree asking him everything she could think of. I kept telling him he didn't have to answer any of her questions but Brian didn't mind and I learned a lot more about him that morning.

After lunch we went to the supermarket to do the grocery shopping and we spent some time in the garden mowing the grass and getting the flowerbeds in order. It was like the three of us had been together forever we felt so comfortable with each other. We laughed and talked and we even where silent like old friends. We made dinner together but that was quite an ordeal in a small kitchen with three people so they made me set the table. And when I came back they where finished and ready to bring the food to the table. Brian and I sat at one side of the table with our chairs so close together we might as well have been sitting on one chair. Debby said she felt lonely and I told her to get a life. Ok I know it's mean but I had to get back at her for teasing me all morning didn't I.

We spend the evening watching old films and chatting about nothing in particular and then we went to bed at eleven. Brian said he had had a real nice evening and he liked Debby a lot.

We took a shower together again and I decided to wash Brian this time I started with his shoulders rubbing in the soap and getting him al slippery I rubbed my thumbs over his nipples and kissed him. When I broke the kiss I dropped to my knees and washed his hard cock with plenty of soap untill he started dripping precum and I gently rubbed it in its head. I slowly jacked him off using my other hand to cup his balls and gently squeeze them. Brian opened his legs to make it easier and I let my hand slip in his crack but right away I felt him tense up so I pulled away and looked at him "it's ok Brian nothing you don't want remember." He smiled and nodded his head I washed the soap of his gorgeous cock and took it in my mouth. I held his balls and deep throated him. He took my head in his hands and now it was my turn to tense up. He let go immediately and whispered "sorry" I obviously couldn't speak with my mouth full so I just kept on sucking and licking him using every trick I knew. Soon I felt his cock head expanding in my mouth and Brian moaned "Oh honey I'm gonna shoot oh baby that feels so good ooohhhh I'M CUMMING!!!!!!!oh yes yes." I let his cock slide down my throat and swallowed every bit of his love juice, it tasted great.

Thursday evening it was time to go to our meeting and we walked in hand in hand. Everybody came over to congratulate us and the meeting was spend talking about the two of us.

Lloyd said it was perfectly normal for us to have moments like we had in the past couple of days where we tense up or get scared. He said they would become less and less frequent and we shouldn't force ourselves to do things we weren't up to yet. He did tell us to keep on talking to each other not to let tension build up but to be honest even if it was a little painful.

After the meeting we went for coffee in the same restaurant we where before and I suddenly remembered I thought I saw someone hiding in the porch of the shop last Monday so I told Brian.

He asked if I was afraid Trevor was following me around I told him I hadn't given it much thought but that it could be something he would do.

The others overheard us talking and soon everybody was giving me the same advice, don't go out alone after dark keep an eye out for him in the daytime and go to the police if you spot him.

You can imagine that brought my good mood down quite a bit. Actually I was scared shittless.

Brian and I had decided to go to his place after tonight's meeting to spend some time together there. When we walked around the corner suddenly al my nightmares came true Trevor was standing there I let out a scream and Brian pulled me behind him. Then the other men from our group came running to see what had happened. Brian stood between me and Trevor and I was more scared for him then for me so I stepped in between them looking Trevor straight in his eyes I told him he couldn't hurt me anymore. "I'm through being afraid of you we are leaving now and you will leave us alone you hear me!"

Trevor just stood there looking at me than he said "I'm so sorry Bobby for all I've done to you, I wish I could somehow undo it but I can't. I really did love you though. I've stopped drinking and I'm seeing a shrink she helped me to see what I did to you. She didn't want me to look you up but when I saw you leaving here Monday I knew I had to tell you I've changed and I'm leaving I'm going back to my hometown to take care of my mom she is sick you know. Anyway I just wanted you to know I'm no threat to you so ......."

I didn't know what to say, I just stood there looking at him looking at the person I had lived with for so long who had scared me and hurt me so much but whom I had loved with all my heart too.

Only one thing came to mind, why? Why did you do it?

He looked at me shaking his head "I loved you to much I was so afraid of loosing you I couldn't think of anything else anymore. I followed you around you know and when I saw you talking to other people I knew you where going to go I just knew it and then I started drinking again. I was an alcoholic you see I stopped drinking a year before we met. My last lover left me because of it he couldn't cope. I just loved you to much."

"Lucky me" I sneered.

"Don't do that Bobby" Brian said, "you are a good person let him be and just come with me lets go home."

I took one last look at Trevor, sighed and told him to be happy. Then I turned around took Brian's hand and left

We went to Brian's place a nice house with a big backyard and three bedrooms, we still live there today. Brian is reading over my shoulder as I finish up our story, waiting for me to come so we can go and walk the dog together. He says to say hi from him.

Debby's married and mother of an adorable set of twins.

Brian and I are together for three years now and I know I found my soulmate I once heard something said that describes our relationship perfectly

'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies'

I didn't make that up but Aristotle did and I think he is right.

I hope you enjoyed our story I sure enjoyed writing it.