its me. I'm back. again. get used to it.
disclaimer: you know the drill. it's not real. doesn't mean anyone in N Sync is gay. doesn't mean that AT ALL. Underage... don't read.
Empty Tears
He stood there. Right outside my front door, he stood there. He didn't say a word. Not a single word about what he was doing, why he was here. He just stood there. And slowly I felt my heart begin to melt, begin to let him back into my life.
I had missed him. The innocent smile that he always flashed whenever I caught him doing something wrong. Almost like a kid getting caught stealing a cookie right before dinner. He would flash that smile, and I would instantly take him into my arms and forgive him. Because a cookie wasn't all that bad, it was the cake that was a killer.
His eyes. I had missed them too. The crystal blueness that always seemed to search my eyes for the truth, for my soul. Without saying a word, his eyes could carry out an entire conversation with mine. And I had missed that. Missed how our souls seemed to touch, mingle, whenever we looked eachother in the eye.
But most of all I had missed his voice. His deep tumbling voice that sent shiver's down my spine whenever he spoke. He didn't have to say anything important, but the sound of his voice after a fight, after a hard day... it was enough to make me smile, make me feel warm. With every sylable he spoke, a warmth radiated out of him; a warmth that would travel down my spine and make me feel whole. I loved his voice.
He wasn't speaking right now. I suppose that was for the best, because if he said a single word, I would let him back into my life, Into my heart. And I couldn't risk it. I couldn't risk my heart in that way again, not after last time.
Not after he had left me without saying a single word. Without even saying goodbye.
That was what had hurt the most. He hadn't said goodbye. He hadn't said anything along those lines, he had just packed his bags and left without saying a word. Not a single word. He left me lying on the floor, crying my eyes out. He left me sitting there, begging with a voice so hoarse that the words couldn't even be understood. He left me. That's all there was too it.
But now he was standing there, right outside my doorway. He didn't say a word, not a single word about why he was here, what he was doing. He was just standing there. And as much as I wanted to let him back into my heart. As much as I wanted to let him have my soul, I couldn't.
Slowly, carefully I looked into his eyes. Then I shut the door, never breaking that stare. Once it was shut, I melted down against the door. I dragged my knees up to my chest, and my tired arms hugged them close. I rocked back and forth, crying tears so silent, so empty.
Jc had hurt me, more then he knew. But I was strong, and I would get over it.
Someday.
K... this one isn't inspired by a song. it's actually part of a huge series i'm working on called Harsh Reality Sketches's. This is the only one so far that has to do with any boy bands, or else the rest would be posted. If you would like some of them email me and let me know. talk laterz!
gemmini999@aol.com
comments wanted!