The Boy That Wasn't 12
What confounds me is that a lot of GLBT literary sites impose a subtle censorship that is designed to shape a benign gay image acceptable to the greater society. This is waist of time they because they never will.
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This will conclude Josey's story. Thank you
The Boy Who Wasn't part 12
by Larkin. all rights reserved
Barney left a small bank account of a couple of thousand dollars. That was more money than Jennifer had seen in years. It comfortably paid the bills, bought food and movie tickets and would take care of them for maybe 6 months until Jennifer could get out to get a job.
All this was secondary in Josey's mind because in spite of these changes, 2 weeks had gone by and her thoughts about Clark were constantly just below the surface. No one knew about Clark. She hadn't even told Jennifer about him. How could she tell her mother that she had been having sex with an older man, a strange man, a man who carried a gun?
Josey called the little house in the canyon 3, 4, 5 times a day and no answer. It weighted on her all the time and she longed to tell him how she felt. She wanted to tell him that she loved him.
After three weeks Josey hitch hiked up the Pacific Coast Highway to Topanga and made her way back to the little house. It was strange because she was glad to see the little house that had become her castle but there was a heavy pit in her stomach that kept making her want to just sit down and cry. Surely he would come back today or maybe tomorrow? She took off all her clothes and lay on the bed that they had shared.
She would masturbate, imagine him up close behind her and sleep and then dream that he had come back. Because Josey was young the intensity of all these emotions was as sharp as a knife edge and the hurt so much inside.
She stayed there for 2 days and nights and then headed home.
~
"God damn it Josey! Why do you go off like this? You're all I have and I worry myself sick."
Now she was crying and needed her son to comfort her. "Barney is gone and there's no reason to do something like this to me!"
Jennifer didn't quite realize that her child was beginning to grow up and Josey had become just a little taller now and she looking strange like some beautiful being from an alien world. She was no longer the dirty neglected kid from down the block.
"Josey, we got more trouble. I got this letter from some high highfalutin lawyer in downtown Los Angeles and we have to go. I'm afraid that Barney's wife got a high priced lawyer to get us out of this house and if we don't go they will automatically judge against us and we are screwed."
She looked at her son. "Josey, I can't face living on the street again. I can't do it."
On the bus on the way down Josey looked at the letter. "Mom, the letter is addressed to me?"
"They made a mistake. You know, I can't believe this. Life is such a struggle and we have to fight for bits and scraps just to stay afloat. I am so sick and fucking tired of fighting just to survive." She rested her head on her son's shoulder. Jennifer was defeated and weary.
~
The lawyer's office was posh. It was a prestigious partnership the sort only employed by large businesses.
Jennifer was on the defensive from the start. The lawyer, a Mr. Andresen was finely dressed. "Can I offer you a cup of coffee?"
Jennifer shook her head no.
"Which one of you is Josey Horner?"
Josey raised her hand slightly but said nothing.
The lawyer looked at Jennifer and said. "And this is your daughter?"
"He's my son God damn it! And he has the same last name as me because I never got married, now are you satisfied!"
Josey was wondered where her mother had suddenly got all the fight.
The lawyer cleared his throat." Well this is not about you, but about your son. he is here to go over an inheritance left to him by a Mr. Charles Nicoli."
Josey stopped and they turned to look at each other? "Mr. Nicoli was very specific about getting these papers organized and they are complete. His untimely death was unfortunate."
Well this involves several income producing properties, the foremost of which is a 24 unit complex on 23rd Street in Santa Monica. Another 24 unit complex in Brentwood. Then there is very valuable acreage on Point Dume in Malibu. In addition there is a bank account of $575,200. That has been set up for you Josey."
Both mother and son were speechless.
"I almost forgot. there is a small plot in Topanga canyon that has a structure in disrepair but if the structure is demolished, the property will be reclaimed by the State of California so it's value is negligible.
It suddenly dawned on Josey that it was Clark. Then the realization came down on her and crushed her. Clark was dead. The lawyer and Josey's mother were surprised to see him suddenly in tears.
"How did it happen? How did he die?"
Josey's crying became uncontrolled and Jennifer had to comfort him.
~
Epilogue
Josey was still too young to drive so she would take a cab up to the little house in Topanga. She would spend the day and sometimes the night. She would light a fire in the small fire place and dream and imaging the Clark would be there soon. She knew he wouldn't be it was comforting.
When someone moved out, Jennifer and Josey moved into the complex in Brentwood. It was very nice. Two floors of apartments around a turquoise pool. Jennifer had stopped drinking and chose pot instead. It was much better.
But Josey had a new freedom that she hadn't had before so she spent a lot of time in the little house in Topanga. It was her little house and her's alone.
She put the key in the lock and an easy calm settled over her. She liked being there, but there was something out of place. It was a note by the telephone.
Little Girl,
Please, please call me!
It gave her a start at first. Clark would always call her little girl but the handwriting was not like his, it was a light and graceful script.
Call me at 457-9263
Josey punched in the number.
A woman answered. "Oh my God! It's you, I'm so glad you called. Just give me an hour and I'll be right over. Sure, I know exactly where it is."
~
She was a gorgeous woman. dressed impeccably. She bought salads and a bottle of wine. "Well God Damnit! Clark sure can pickem!"
Josey I'm Sherry and Clark told me all about you. I don't always like to hear who he's fuckin but we haven't been a couple for years and we still love each other.
Josey was learning that once you lost someone forever every little detail about them from anyone becomes so precious.
She sat comfortably on the bed with Josey, resting her arm on Josey's thigh in a friendly and familiar way. It relaxed Josey and made her feel that Sherry was an old friend. They shared the salad.
"Little girl, little girl...Oh Josey, that's what he called me. Little girl and I was even younger then you are now. Clark was so wonderful wasn't he?"
Her eyes were getting a little red and she pulled out a tissue. "Godamnit! he was the first man to treat me like a woman and oh god I loved him so much for it."
"But then I grew up and Clark has this age range that he likes but it was ok because he taught me how to love myself and how to look for men that treated me right. It sort of went from lover to daughter instead of the other way around. He became like a father and he'd always looked out for me."
Now they were both crying. Sherry laughed, "Pathetic aren't we?"
She pulled Josey to her feet and the two hugged.
"But look at you Josey. Clark was right, you really are a diamond in the rough. That's why I am here. Clark wanted me to help you through the rough spots and show you how I came up. I'm going to take you shopping, show you the tricks and introduce you to Dr. Willowbrand but you can chose anyway you want go but one thing is sure, you are and you will be, a beautiful woman."
Josey was amazed and maybe a little star struck.
"Stand back and let me have a look at you."
Sherry appraised Josey's physical being.
"Was your dad tall?"
"I don't know?"
Sherry, laughed, "Welcome to the club."
"Well it looks like you're going to be tall and in any event, you got excellent proportions."
Josey said, "what about my face?"
Oh lord Josey! Haven't you ever looked in the mirror? You look like some kind of exotic movie star! and look at the rest of you, slim arms and legs, flat belly and you actually have a round ass. Godamnit Josey, you got everything!"
She stooped behind Josey, and began to trace the shape of her ass in her pants. "Josey you'll have no time for the cocksuckers. You must learn how to accentuate your rear, make it prominent, because you got what real men want. They are disgusting pigs and thank god for it. What a beautiful ass you have."
Sherry reached around Josey's waist and opened her pants. "Shame on you Josey, no panties? Don't worry, I have hundreds of pairs."
Josey's pants fell to her ankles. Sherry stroked and caressed Josey's thigh, lower back and bottom, then spread it open. "Your hole still looks tight a as belly button. Clark would have put an end to that in no time."
She paid only passing attention to Josey's modest erection. "Ok, spread you legs and make like you are going to touch your toes. Push your ass out a bit more. You are just so beautiful and you look delicious."
She spread Josey's ass and licked all around her hairless hole. After a few minutes she rose back up and said, "Oh God, Josey, you just made my day. Forgive me I just had an attack of lesbianism."
~
This was the day that Josey became a woman. Sherry, would become her confident, mentor and even a spare lover and best friend.
Her mother, Jennifer never understood any of it but as long as Josey was happy and the rent was paid, that was all that mattered.
"What name do you want? You have to change your name to cast off your old identity? Personally I don't like the name Josephine but it's your choice.
She smiled a beautiful smile and said, "I like Josey, I will keep that part of me."
Post Script
At the beginning of this story I stated that I didn't really know about dresses, make-up, breast implants and all the peripheral things that go into transitioning from one sex to another. This is a complex world that I am not a part of. If I pretended to know what I was talking about and got it wrong the entire story would lose credibility.
I wanted to write a real story. Many boys enter the age of reason with conflicts regarding gender. Some young people start out knowing that they are different and there conflicts within between the masculine and feminine. These are not contrivances or affectations, they are real. A young person who is poorly equipped to cope with this kind of realization can also finds themselves in an unsupportive environment. This can actually be a life or death battle that sometimes ends in suicide. The sex in Josey's life may seem like wank-media but I depicted it as authentic. The same is true of the violence. Josey's story is pretty real most of the way through up until the reader's dessert, “the happy ending”.
Thank you,
Larkin
Feedback and some guidance from interested readers is encouraged.
jet2larkin at geemale dot cum (reinterpret)