The Boys of Summer

The Boys of Summer 4: Finally, /Fucking/

This story explicitly depicts young men forming erotic bonds with each other. Generally they are between the ages of 14 to 17, and they "generally" agree that peer relationships are best. However, among this particular group of youths, there are some who consider scoring some hot older fellow a coup, while there are others who remain enchanted by younger lads. These liaisons appear as dangerous edges, and the author has attempted to depict such outlawish trysts in a realistic way. Also, some of the fellows depicted here do other "bad boy" things like experiment with drugs and get in terrible fights. Last, being sexually versatile, as jocks typically are, they occasionally even have sex with girls. Ultimately, many are the spirits of the young who, in these pages, simply say, "Fuck the rules."

There is plenty of raunchy sex in this tale, but if all you are looking for is pure fapping material utterly devoted to some precise specialty, you might want to look elsewhere. In publisher's lingo, this is a "Coming of Age" novel.

Author's Note: It's always interesting to me how quickly gay guys, once they have established mutual attraction and are out with each other, get it on.

Ricky and Josh are unexceptional that way. But lets see how they do it. These boys are artists. Expect the unexpected.

Finally, Fucking

Joshua softened under Ricky. He stopped thrashing around. He kissed, licked, and sucked Ricky's semen slavered lips and tongue. This was a different Josh. Ricky tried to grasp it. The words he wanted eluded him.

But Ricky knew something about himself for the first time: He liked getting Joshua off. He could see himself as a guy who liked to get guys off. Without climaxing, he felt deep satisfaction in satisfying another guy.

Joshua was still sucking in air with shuddering gasps. He panted, "You don't have to hold me down. I'm powned! You got, me, OK? But listen, man?"

"Yeah?" Ricky murmured. He ceased his grinding motions.

His delicate friend was still trying to recover. He was taking deep breaths. "What?" Ricky prompted him.

Joshua squirmed under him and pushed against Ricky's chest. Ricky got the message, and he complied insofar as he slid to the side, but he kept an arm possessively across Joshua's pale chest and he kept a drawn up leg across his thighs.

Joshua found his voice again. "You sure you never sucked a cock before? Never had a BJ? You haven't been lying to me?"

"Believe me," Ricky said. "I'm sure."

Ricky did not tell Joshua that he had found a sex book in the library. Too shy to check it out, he had read the whole thing in a private corner over multiple sittings amid piles of books as camouflage. He paid particular attention to the gay section of the book; rather, he could not help himself from being fascinated. So he was not completely clueless.

"Well, you suck dick like a thousand dollar whore!" Joshua exclaimed.

"I guess I'm supposed to take that as a compliment?" Ricky chided.

"The best! But listen, Ricky! Let me turn you on now. OK? Not humping me, but me getting you off. Right?"

"That's great, Josh, but that's not much of a challenge! I mean look at my gun! He's ready to fire! I'll go off if you just slap my dick right now!"

Joshua was used his girly voice. "Well, how about you just shoot it in my mouth then? For starters. I'll bet you are good for a double, right, you big, butch, studly hunk of hot, gay man-flesh you?"

He was so cute! "An easy double, yep." Ricky had no problem problem with that. He was fucking that ass tonight!

"Goody!" Josh camped while still managing to smirk, "So! First, you blast me with a mouth full of gooey come, and then you can fuck me! How about that? That is, if you're man enough?"

"Start sucking, bitch!"

Ricky was, as he said, ready to fire in a split instant, but Josh managed to make him linger as long as he could, kneeling small between his legs, reaching up with his long, fine hands, and looking up with an childish expression. Mainly, Ricky could only see his head, shoulders, and hands. Josh could have been thirteen! He looked like a cute little elf.

His mouth was small. He held Ricky's cock with both hands.

Ricky knew that trick. He had figured it out. You could keep a guy from ramming his cock too far down your throat.

Joshua blew him wetly and lusciously. The way he twisted his head was a neat trick! Back and forth, up and down. Ah!

Faster then, and that was it!

"Oh, fuck Josh! I think God made me gay!"

Joshua looked up at him, astonished!

Since Ricky had already come once that day, there was only a single mouthful of ejaculate. Josh managed to catch most of that, and then, true to their own already developed style, they flourished with a spooge flavored kiss.

Ricky's cock did not go down. He definitely wanted more.

Joshua forestalled that by saying, "Hey Ricky. Let's break. Drink some water? Towel off, and then? OK?"

"OK, I need to piss anyway. But I'm fucking you! Don't try to get out of it!"

Ricky said this even as he moved off to grab the come rag. He wiped himself before tossing the towel to his delectable friend.

Joshua seemed to recover his flippancy, for he said, "You are just getting the biggest kick out of reminding me, aren't you, Ricky?"

Ricky grabbed his big, silk boxers, he hopped into them and told him, "Yeah. But I also know you'll be fucking me. We agreed. That's the deal."

"Yeah, Ricky. We agreed. That's the deal."

In the dark, Ricky went to the bathroom inside. He only turned the light on once the bathroom door was closed. He looked at himself in the mirror. Still no trace of a beard. His eyes looked clear and bright. Being a total faggot, evidently, had not changed his appearance. Ricky smiled at himself in the mirror. He was a handsome guy, and he knew it. He brushed his teeth.

When he returned from the bathroom, he saw that Josh had slipped beneath the wide-open, spread out sleeping bag. It was not cold, but once washed again, Joshua said that he felt a sudden chill. Ricky joined him, laying out in a long bodied way with his head on his arm, letting Josh roll into him or not, as he preferred.

Joshua rolled into him.

Ricky gloried in the sensation of another guy who wanted — really wanted — to touch and be touched.

Joshua asked him, "That way I blew you?"

Ricky laughed, "Yeah?"

"All sissy and girly?"

"Yes?"

"That's a character, right?"

"A 'character?' What are you talking about?"

"You know. Role play?"

Ricky cocked his head and frowned. "Huh?"

"Yeah, I was pretending to be a 'sissy boy.' It totally turned you on, didn't it?"

"Totally."

"Well, remember how I told you or asked you if you wanted to trade fantasies? Like, I think I've asked you a couple times, you know?"

"Yeah. Except your fantasy of me is too one-sided!"

Joshua sighed, "I was just kidding around. Jock talk, right? But anyway, that way I blew you?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, the next step was to hop up on that big prick of yours and show you how to take a cock in your ass by showing you how I do it, but you wanted to come!

"So... anyway! We could go to sleep now, I mean, if you wanted. I'm feeling pretty content. How about you?"

"I am very FAR from fucking 'content!' What's this shit you are talking about going to sleep now? Are you trying to weasel out of the deal? Now, I'm thinking I might need to fuck you twice!"

Joshua, backpedaling, tried to sound suave. Ricky detected his dissimulation. "No! Just checking!"

He then put on his silly voice "I mean, you could fuck me twice! But remember! Paybacks are a biiiitch!"

Ricky tucked his hands under Joshua's nude torso beside him and used only his fingers to lift him. This tickled Josh, and it woke him from the sleepy state he had fallen into.

They had really already come a lot that day. Ricky tried to sound slick when he told him their recurrent joke, "I'm counting on that, Josh."

Ricky grinned as he jostled against him, bringing his almost hard meat against Joshua's. Joshua needed a little encouragement, so Ricky raised his fire with a kiss, and then several more, and these prompted Josh to roll over the top of Ricky. He kissed him back while Ricky gripped his hard buns.

Without transition, Joshua suddenly broke the kiss. He lifted his head and told Ricky with a serious tone, "I just want you to understand that I'm willing to play a role for you, Ricky. I am into turning you on, but I don't normally bottom. OK? That's what I was getting at earlier. That's all! OK?"

"Now who is over-explaining, Josh?" Ricky said this kindly while petting Joshua's beautiful hands.

Joshua smiled his little smile and cocked his head to the side, staring at Ricky in the dark. Without a word, he tossed off the covers and hopped up over to one side. Once there, kneeling with his back to Ricky, he fished in his backpack.

"Lube," he explained, looking back over his shoulder. He rummaged through his pack in the dark, made a frustrated noise, flicked the light on, and adjusted it; he pointed it low and to the side against the golden wall of the tent and used the dimmer switch to bring the light level down to a gentle glow.

Finding the lube, he hopped back over, but he leaned back opposite Ricky, saying, "Watch me grease my hole, dude!"

Oh yeah!

Joshua is looking hotly at Ricky with his mouth open, like he is surprised. Surprised and shocked to have his lube greased fingers up his hole!

He is pretending to be a little boy!

Joshua does this maneuver by reaching forward from underneath and behind, first with a couple of fingers, delicately massaging his little pink hole, then, plunging in quickly with high pitched gasps.

Ricky is glad Josh has left the light on. It is very dim, but it is enough.

It is three fingers then, thrusting in a rapid, almost birdlike pecking. Joshua is looking at him with "fuck me" eyes!

And then he is pushing Ricky back, jumping on top of him, legs wide, one hand to the back, the other by Ricky's side, holding himself up as he drops down for a kiss even as he takes Ricky's cock and uses it to massage his ring.

Joshua moves slightly back to receive the head in his wet, but still tight hole.

Ricky sighs with wonder. I'm fucking! I'm finally fucking!

It goes in a few inches before Joshua shudders and says, "Whoa. OK?"

"Yeah." Joshua's starfish grips his cock like a clamp. He is warm in there! Ricky had no idea how hot an asshole was!

Joshua's voice has a trembling edge to it. "You gotta let me ease it in. We gotta take our time! I have to warm up!"

To do this, he swivels his hips, making his not quite hard dick swing around. It is a sight so fantastic, Ricky feels an overwhelming wave of lust. He manages to restrain himself. He lets his boyfriend ready himself.

Little by little, Joshua takes his cock deeper. He only moves up and down on it slightly. Occasionally, he falls forward to kiss Ricky. The way he moans suggests it hurts him.

Ricky pets Joshua's thighs soothingly. He tells him, "You are beautiful guy, Josh. You are so beautiful to me!"

There is no doubt in Ricky's mind that this praise is gratifying to his lover. He smiles so sweetly and shyly! He acts all tough, but he is a little guy, and his body is not as strong as Ricky's.

He feels Joshua's sphincter give way a little more.

Josh lets his legs go wide and he slips down on Ricky full length with a long sigh. His bantam weight is on him now. They are breathing together, rocking each other with synchronized breaths. Joshua's penis, which Ricky can feel against his belly, is not, however, fully erect.

Joshua begins rocking down there. Getting Ricky's cock in a little deeper and out a little further, getting a little more fuck motion going.

He explains, "This is a good beginner move. You can keep a guy with a big dick from fucking you too hard."

But Josh seems a little frantic. His moans have a whimpering edge. He is trying too hard! Ricky says, "Slow down, man. Slow down!"

Joshua slows down.

He murmurs contentedly on Ricky's chest, rocking his hips very slowly, and slowly, very slowly, Joshua's big cock starts to get hard again, and his ass loosens more.

Ricky, feeling his lover's need, wants only to pet him, praise him, and adore him.

Gently he says, "I guess this is as big a deal for you as it is for me, huh kiddo?"

Joshua has the side of his pretty head against Ricky's. His voice is small and faraway. "Yeah. It's a big deal, Ricky. I do not usually allow this. But's it's OK. It's OK."

Joshua, ever changeable, lifts his head up. His eyes grow fierce and determined. He sits up.

He tips back his head. He has such a lovely, slender throat!

He arches his back. His mouth is open. He sucks in a huge lungful of air. He looks down at Ricky. He seems like a different person entirely. The look in his eyes!

And now he is riding Ricky like he is riding a bucking horse!

Ricky's big cock plunges in and out from below while Joshua hops up and down, slamming into Ricky's pelvis with his full weight!

This is not fucking! This is busting concrete with a jack hammer!

"Fuuuuuck!" The cry erupts from Ricky.

All the while, he is loving the sight of Joshua's big dick smacking back and forth between their two bellies. WHACK smack, WHACK smack!

The storm passes.

Joshua is the cute little elf again. He giggles. He is keeping his hips still and using his ring to squeeze and release in sexy rhythm. He explains, "This is a good technique. I call it 'ass jacking!'"

It is working!

Ricky tries to ride up into him, and Joshua lets him, a little, but the way he squats and the way he has his hands on Ricky's chest keeps him in control, and soon, Ricky's cock is pumping juice into his lover's little butt.

Joshua slides down on him, holding him in, and falls on Ricky with a sigh.

Ricky chuckles, making Joshua's whole body ripple.

Enjoying the sensation of Joshua moving as he chuckles, Ricky laughs, making Joshua bounce!

"I'm gonna fuck you again, Joshua. Right now. My cock is still hard. You notice that?"

"Paybacks will be epic, Ricky, EPIC!" is Joshua's only comment. He says this with a sly smile.

"I am counting on that." Ricky laughs, teasingly, as he spins up and out, flipping Josh onto his back with one of his deadly wrestler moves. Then he is lifting Joshua's hips and thrusting it in that way, or trying to, when Josh suggests, "There's a way I like to be fucked. When it's done right, you know? I like it then. You want to try that?"

"Sure." Ricky pulled back and dropped to his haunches.

Josh flipped around on his knees in front of Ricky, saying, over his shoulder, "The trick is not to ram it, but see if you can hit that spot with the head of your dick. You can make a guy come if you do it right. You wanna try?"

"Fuck yeah!"

"So put it in about halfway. There's a bump in there." A hot pink flash of boy hole winks up at Ricky.

He put it in. It slipped in fairly easily, but it was still tight.

It is tricky getting the right angle. Joshua's hole tends to be a little low, for Ricky's thighs are simply too long. Ricky keeps lifting Joshua up and placing him down, trying to find the right position. Finally, he has Joshua's knees between his, and his own legs are spread wide.

The height is correct then, and Joshua is making happy sounds for the first time since Ricky has been fucking him. He even says, "Ahhh... That feels pretty good!"

Ricky finds "the spot." His cock is in about halfway. Joshua has loosened up. There is a way he arches his back when Ricky's dick pushes hard against the front wall of Joshua's rectum that does it.

He works it in and out by just a couple inches, slowly, enjoying Joshua's girly moaning. Then, getting the exact feel for the spot he's hitting, picks up the pace, thrusting quickly, but still keeping his dick about halfway in.

Reaching around, he takes the younger guy's semi-hard cock in one hand, and while fucking him gently with special attention to the place he's hitting, he also strokes Joshua's big prick in the delicate way Joshua likes. Josh is soon fully hard again, and he is sighing quietly and sweetly.

Ricky keeps that going for a while, but then, he is ready for some face to face.

He pulls out, picks Joshua up roughly but tosses him down gently on his back, pounces forward, and with one hand guides his cock into Joshua's flaming fuck hole while with the other hand under a knee, lifts one of Joshua's legs.

Josh is really spread wide that way.

Once in him, Ricky lets go with both hands, and scooting up into Joshua all the way, he lifts himself on straight arms with his hands at Joshua's sides. He arches his back, driving his sword in to the hilt, and he punches with his hips, making his abs pump. He slams his boyfriend with gusto!

He sees that Josh is fully compliant. He lays there, smiling, totally getting fucked!

Ricky drops down to kiss, and kissing, he begins to put some length into the stroke.

He long-cocks Joshua slowly for a quarter hour.

This is how he has always wanted to fuck a guy. This is his fantasy. And here it is.

He is not wasting the moment.

He drops down chest to chest, on his elbows now, still keeping his weight off Joshua. He knows how Joshua is that way! But they are pressed together. Ricky starts rocking and churning his ass, and Joshua lifts his legs high while reaching down to grab Ricky's flexing butt cheeks.

Ricky gives Joshua a little test thumping then, getting ready for the pile driver.

Is he liking it too?

By his kisses and his cute whimpers, Yes!

Ricky really fucks him good, then.

When he comes, it happens in a long, slow wave, rising, rising, and rising, only to remain, swirling and rocking for what seems like minutes!

He feels like someone has unzipped his spine from his body for a scary moment.

Joshua, is exclaiming, "Dude! I fucking came! You made me come!"

From the way his voice sounds, he is amazed!

Ricky has no idea what he is amazed about.

Laying there together in the warm afterglow of brilliant sex, Ricky, feeling Joshua had some secrets, tried to draw him out.

"So does your mom think you and me got it going on?"

"Oh," Joshua said nonchalantly, "Probably. She knows I'm gay."

Joshua quickly added, "Don't freak. She's cool. She won't tell your mom, even if she does know, and she knows I always bring cute guys around, even if I don't get any action. She's always hoping I'll find a keeper. She doesn't like me whoring around. Would your mom?"

Ricky shook his head.

This is a new Joshua. He's really opened up!

"Anyhow," Joshua added, "Don't assume she thinks you're gay. She'll assume that I am hoping you are, but you are aren't you?"

Ricky used his poofy voice, said, "Well, I sure like sucking your dick and fucking your ass. And tomorrow, I'm looking forward to getting fucked multiple times by you. Ah? Excuse me? That's not something a straight guy would do, is it?"

"Not unless there was money involved," Joshua joked. "But may I say? Rubbing your hard cock against another guy's hard cock? Gay!

"And kissing him with a bunch of come in your mouth? Very gay!"

Ricky played along, waving a hand limp-wristedly and making his voice lilt "What are you insinuating?"

Ricky then flooded Joshua with questions. "When did it start? How did you know? Who was it with? What did you do?"

Joshua chuckled. "Too many fucking questions! How about you? When did you know?"

Ricky answered honestly. "I didn't. Not until today. Up the river. With you. Then I knew. Right then. Only then."

"Really?"

"Really."

"But didn't you suspect?"

"Yeah, thinking about guys when I jacked off was pretty fucking suspicious!"

"D'ya think?" Joshua laughed. Then he added. "How does it feel?"

"I feel relieved, Josh! I feel lighter! I feel free!"

"Well," Joshua sighed, "I'll tell ya'. You know what the best part about being a fag is?"

"What?"

Joshua laughed, "Having sex with guys!"

Ricky liked that answer.

Joshua then changed the subject. "Didn't you say you tried to kill your brother?"

"I was only six years old. I learned from that."

"Interesting," Joshua murmured. "Well, I'll tell you. Speaking of 'six?' I started when I was young. Too young, but I was old enough to know I liked it, and I went for it, and I got it. And that's enough information for now, for I have news for you, you cocksucker — and you are a cocksucker — you will be taking my big cock up your ass!"

"I'm counting on it," Ricky agreed.

Drifting then, Ricky mused on some things he had noticed about Joshua.

Like, there was that look he saw when he had pounced on Joshua after he had blown him. For some split instants, Joshua's face had shown total... terror. His writhing underneath spoke... madness! Joshua had gotten himself under control very quickly, but in brief moments, Ricky saw something.

Joshua was not an open book. He was full of surprises.

Ricky thought about Joshua's big, fat cock. What a beautiful dick! Once Ricky really had a chance to examine it closely, he had noticed many details. The tiny purple veins in the flesh as white as marble, how it was a little thicker above the base than at the base, how the head flared wide, the tiny dots around the edge of the head that looked like tiny taste buds, and the delicate nubs of the glans. The ridge on the underside was something he particularly liked. It was quite large! It had been fun to press his thumbs into it. What an experience!

They lay together in silence for a while. Joshua suggested they go soak in the hot tub, again. Ricky liked that idea. They padded out nude, pulled back the cover, and slipped in. Joshua sat next to him. The whir and gurgle of the pump and the circulating water hid their low voices.

Josh was not done with sex! He asked, "You wanna try ass eating?"

"Huh?"

"We are both super clean down there. It's hot! You'll like it!"

Ricky tried to demur, but Josh persuaded him with, "Hey, Ricky, if you do this now, after all that sex? You will get the gayest feeling! Besides, my sore ass could use some soothing."

Ricky wanted to try it then.

Joshua went first.

Ricky liked it. It was ticklish and super faggy.

He tried it on Joshua, and he loved it.

He loved tonguing Joshua's hot hole even more, he thought, than getting tongued himself. Earlier, Joshua's anus had been a tiny pinched, dry hole. But it was puffy and moist then. There was a touch of a sour flavor to it. Ricky noticed some peculiar ridges radiating out from his ring, like old scars, but Ricky had little experience with what a butt hole was supposed to look like. He did not try to stick his tongue in the hole like Joshua had done with him. He did like kissing Joshua's whole ass, all over.

"Don't ever say I never kissed your ass, Josh!"

Joshua giggled happily.

Joshua was right, doing that, even after all that sex, really did give him the gayest feeling! There was something deliciously "bad boyish" about it. It was a "fuck the world" sensation. Ricky felt ethereal.

His new boyfriend was also right about another thing. The secret of great sex was not technique. The secret was being into what you were doing and who you were doing it with. Ricky had been so worried about that. He was so afraid that once he tried it with a guy, the guy would complain that he didn't know what he was doing. It was a non-issue. It had always been a non-issue. Ricky had been worried about nothing!

Laying together in Josh's tent after that, Joshua really opened up. He told Ricky all kinds of crazy stuff about the gay scene.

Scenes, I should say, thought Ricky.

Joshua's voice was quiet and thoughtful. "Yeah, so, like, there's some guys? You know, ugly guys? The only way they can get it is to pay for it. They think that, anyway. I think that if they weren't so fucking particular and they stuck with their own kind, they'd do fine, but I guarantee you they think they can only get it is they pay for it, so that's like, half, maybe most of the hustler scene."

"Ycch!"

"I know! Right? Then there's a lot of guys who can't get off unless they feel dirty, or nasty, or sneaky, so they'll, like, hang out in public restrooms and do each other in the toilets. You ever heard of a 'glory hole?'"

"I have heard of that. Well, I read about it, actually."

"That can be hot. In Venice Beach, I've done that, but then they rebuilt the bathrooms, but anyway, you'll get cute young guys that way sometimes 'cause they need to be anonymous, but mainly the pickings are shit. Then there are places they call 'Chicken bars.'"

"What's that?"

"They are places where young guys like us go to get picked up by men. Lots of hustlers there. Lots of older guys. That can be hot, but it's like this secret that only even some guys know about. Then too, once you are older, you can get into bathhouses. Those, I hear, are great for jocks who want to avoid the poof crowd that try to rule the gay bars. They do not want to be seen with them."

"You 'hear?'"

"Yeah. Never been. They check your ID and watch that shit closely, but I know guys who love it. Wild fucking orgies!"

"That sounds fun!"

"I know! Right? Lots of closeted types there. Lots of straight guys who go there to get blown. I hear that. I have some older friends, you know? But anyway, and certain groups like Latinos and blacks tend to be more closeted, so they have their own scene for finding each other. Then there are young Asians who hook up with old white guys. They call the old, white guys 'Rice Queens.' The gay scene is fucking racist, man! Don't let anyone bullshit you about that. It's pretty fucked up. That's a fact man!"

"You are scaring me, Josh!"

"Good. You should be scared. I'm trying to help you though. Warn you! OK? But the thing is, Ricky? A guy like you? So fucking hot? You don't have to get into any of the... uh, I dunno what to call the scenes I'm telling you about...Hmmm..."

"The seedy side?"

"Yeah. That'll work. But it's not all like that, man! Like, you ever heard of 'chubs?'"

"Like in 'chubby?'"

"Yeah, but it's not rude. Like, in L.A.? I got me a chub boyfriend... Well, sort of a boyfriend. He's nineteen. He's super cute, Ricky! He is! And man, does he like to bottom the way I like it! He's all into computers and goes to college. He's fucking nice to me! He helped me set up all this video editing software. He's super smart. I love him. You gotta try a chub, Ricky. I swear it! A roly poly guy can be fun as fuck to fuck!"

Ricky laughed agreeably.

Joshua continued, "And then there's the bear scene, and the funny thing is, even though those guys sometimes look scary bad ass, most of the guys in that scene are, like, the nicest fucking guys! I like to be treated nicely. My therapist says I have the right to demand it."

Ricky nodded as he petted Joshua's hair, who was laying his head on Ricky's chest. He said, "The gay scene is deceptive, huh?"

"Yeah. You could say that. You could also say that things are not usually what they seem, and sometimes, that is not so much deception as it is camouflage."

"Still sounds like deception."

Joshua changed the subject. "Thing is, a guy like you? You can be picky. Shit, your main problem will be getting guys to leave you the fuck alone!

"Then," suddenly changing the subject again, Josh blurted, "Then there's the kiddie porn side. Slaves even! Dead kids and unmarked graves. Seriously."

"Aw, fuck, Josh. Now you are really scaring me!"

"Well, you should be scared. It happens, man. It happens!"

Ricky sighed. He needed to move the topic back to what they had together. "I'm really glad I met you, buddy."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. I can't tell you how many times I wished I could meet a guy who was experienced, who wouldn't be all, 'Ew! Why'd you touch my wee wee.' I need this. Thank you!"

"You got it, bro'."

Joshua, Ricky discovered that night, was not really the type who liked to sleep all snuggled up. When he rolled over onto his side with his back to him, Ricky knew that was his lover's cue to go to sleep.

As he let himself drift off, he pondered Joshua's words: "Hustlers, chubs, bears, chicken bars, rice queens, bath houses, glory holes, black scenes, closet cases, Latino scenes, poofs, racists, and baby killers." It all seemed cheap, creepy, and even, sometimes, totally evil to him.

What about love?

He himself had a recurring fantasy. It was not, however, a particularly loving vision. In this fantasy he was fucking a man! A big, strong guy with a hairy chest. In this fantasy, he was in charge. He was the boss. The man submitted to whatever he wanted, and sometimes what he wanted was tie the man up and whip the shit out of him. Between sadistic rounds, he would make him suck his dick and take it up the ass, preferably, before an audience of cheering fans.

Ricky was self-aware enough to know that maybe he had some "daddy issues." This thought did not bother him. He thought it was funny.

Questions? Comments? Critiques? Don't be shy. Let me know. All feedback is useful. Your letters have been helpful and encouraging. Heck, I'll even write you back. I like to do that.

Cheers, Dorian
(dorianswift@tutanota.com)

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