The Deepest Cut

4 The deepest cut.

After we both showered we climbed into bed. Jay pulled me over and I nestled into his chest with my hand on his left bicep, I kissed his neck gently.

"Turn over," he said.

I turned onto my right side and he spooned me, his arm through mine he was holding me tight and his man bits lodged in my crack, his left leg over mine. Within minutes I was in heavenly sleep. I don't know what shifted during the night but I had a vivid nightmare. Jay was having a threesome with Pete and Chris and they were taking it in turns to fuck him and he was screaming with pain. Thank God I didn't wake him as I got out of bed to go to the toilet. I looked back and the moonlight was shining in the window over Jay's face, he was an angel, a perfect angel.

While the ghosts of my dream faded, I lay on the bed and just watched him, he moaned and I pulled him closer. Now is the time to bury past relationships and concentrate on Jay's nightmares. It's my turn to help my angel move on. I had noticed a big boner going on in his underwear and wondered if he was dreaming of me, getting fucked. Or was he dreaming of his true love, Justin?

I woke him again with small whisper kisses. We had both slept in longer than we thought we would and had training today. We did have plenty of time but I wanted him to wake up and kiss me back. He eventually did, looking deeply into my eyes, while keeping his hand on my chest, his finger running circles around my nipple. My God, was this guy a teaser or what?

"Good morning angel."

"Good morning Ben, did you sleep well?"

"Yes and no. I had to go to the toilet around one and was sad because that was four minutes I had to spend away from you." I smiled at him.

"Well let me make it up to you and I will make us breakfast. Just give me a few minutes will you?"

"Sure, I'm in no hurry to get up." I ran my hand up his strong back then kissed him some more.

"That's not what I meant Ben. I need to go to the toilet and you need to do the coffee." He smiled.

I moaned and flopped onto my back as he slid out from beneath the sheets and walked to the toilet. I wondered if one day he would piss in my mouth then I almost threw up. God, Benjamin, you became a deviant overnight.

Throwing back the sheets I headed into the kitchen to put the coffee on and he came in behind me. No track pants this morning, just black skimpy underwear. A thin layer of fabric that outlined his cock and balls beautifully. The sun was shining brightly in my apartment that morning. We sat at the table, our shoulders touching, and legs entwined. I had a raging horn but didn't care if Jay saw it or not. I was in love and I don't want to hide anything.

He finished his eggs then started to do some stretches. I watched as he groaned and sighed all over the floor. At one stage he was on his back and his legs were stretched apart and then he bought them up to his chest. Yep, he's a tease and I put up with it for a further ten minutes then went to shower. I thought about having a quick wank. I was pretty close, but I was saving my juices for Jay.

After his shower, and a few more kisses, I drove him home, getting in another quick kiss as he exited my car. I said I would pick him up around one. He said he had something to do and would see me at the ground but I could drive him home if I liked. He smiled and of course I groaned.

I went grocery shopping. This time it was a couple of teenagers who were being quite obnoxious. They obviously cheered for a different team and I had to take their abuse with a smile on my dial. I shook them off when the supermarket manager came up to shoo them out of the store.

"Thank you," I muttered as I pointed my trolley laden with fresh produce towards the checkout. I was greeted with a big smile and the woman wanted to know if I had fly buys. I answered no, so she proceeded to try and sign me up. I was in a hurry by now. I wanted to get things put away and go see my angel at training. Loading my bags into the boot I smiled at myself then pulled my new card out of my pocket, that was easy. Now I get frequent flyers with my grocery shopping, how cool is that?

After throwing all my stuff in the fridge I headed for the ground. Everyone was there except Jay; he was in the coach's office. I wanted to go in there with him to see what was up but it turned out it wasn't much. They had decided to add him to the senior's list permanently and the club was in negotiations with his manager. I sighed heavily when I heard. I would now get to play with him every weekend. I hope he doesn't put me off my game.

I ran around the oval with a feeling like someone was watching me. Of course it was Jay, he was behind me. He hadn't caught up and I increased my pace a smidgeon just to piss him off and to give him a full view of my nice firm man butt. I heard him chuckle and I had a big smile on my face when we stopped. We were both heavily heaving to catch our breaths, bent over, hands on knees. He was still laughing when I looked into his beautiful eyes and winked.

"Good to see a nice smile on your face Ben," he said.

"You put it there angel."

"Do I get dinner for doing that?"

"Yes and a great creamy dessert if you want it."

I had decided I had to get Jay out of his deep depression, so I thought I might take him out to dinner tonight. Down to my favorite Chinese place, it's close to Jay's gay club and my home.

We chilled around the apartment until it was time to go, but before we left I had him stuck against the front door. My mouth raining kisses on his gorgeous face. He couldn't breathe so pushed me away for a second but as his hand went behind my neck he took over the leading role and I completely surrendered to his tongue and his moans, or were they mine?

Dinner was magic. We started talking about families and our schools. It was then I found out he was of Italian and Australian mix. His parents live in Bendigo and they knew he was gay. He told them last year when he had introduced Justin to them. They liked him but they didn't like the way he threw his money around. Jay's dad was an investment broker but when they found it hard to save he was very cross with them and blamed Justin for babying Jay with his dancing.

"I loved him, Ben. I would have walked over hot coals for him, he was so good to me." He whispered as his head hung low.

"I know angel, just try to remember the good times baby." I tried to console him, then I reached over and put my hand over his heart.

"He's still in here. I know you can feel him, he will always be in here, somewhere, but just leave a little room for me won't you?"

"I will Ben, more than a little." He took a deep breath and smiled. Tears were forming in his eyes and I didn't want him to get too sad in public. We can do this in bed late at night so he can have a really good cry.

The tap on my shoulder was unexpected and when I turned around it was John and some guy I thought was maybe his boyfriend.

"Hi guys, great choice of eatery, we love it here."

"Hi John, Kevin, have you met Ben, Kev?"

"No, not formally, pleased to meet you Ben. I see you have nearly finished do you mind if we join you for a few minutes?"

Kev was a very pleasant guy, not the best looking in the world, and John was being nice, and very chatty. They were excited to see the opening of the show next week. John had decided to sneak a camera in to film some of Jay's work. I thought yeah you want to replay it while you have a pull buddy, pervert, why didn't I think of that?

Jay had to leave and the guys had just started their main course so we said our goodnights and paid our bill. I dropped my boy out the back and he ran into the club. ThenI went to find a park and thought about Pete and Chris. Would they be here to annoy me again tonight? Oh yes, of course they would be. They were standing just inside the door. I didn't acknowledge them at all as I went to the bar and waited until I got served. I ordered a scotch, my barman, who's full of information, said it was on the house. I gave him a crazy look and he pointed to Pete. I growled and left the drink on the bar. I went to my spot at the side of the stage.

"That wasn't very nice Ben. I just wanted to buy you a drink that's all." He was yelling over the music.

"Well don't bother mate, save your money." I growled back.

"Ben can we talk sometime, I really want to apologize to you that's all?" Pete asked.

"You just did now fuck off."

I was so mad he was annoying me and I wanted to settle in for Jay's show.

"Okay maybe when you have calmed down a bit then?" he fucking smirked.

"Maybe when you find a new set of morals I might." I smirked back.

"Ben it wasn't like that. I loved you, can't we just be friends?" The music changed and Jay came on stage, he was free dancing tonight.

"I don't need friends," I shouted back as a hand spun me around and I was face to face with Jay. He had danced across to me and, while he lifted a leg over my shoulder, he bent down and kissed me. Then he smiled and danced off doing my fucking head in.

There was no sign of Pete when I looked out of the corner of my eye, thanks Jay, I owe you one. But I think you just outed me, not that I give a fuck.

He winked as his music stopped but didn't leave the stage. Instead he jumped off and as the doof doof music started he took my hand and led me onto the dance floor. He wanted me to dance with him so I obliged. We didn't do the regular arms everywhere stuff, we slow danced.

"Is this what you wanted Ben?" he shouted into my ear.

"Yes." I held him so close I thought I might just break a rib but it was nice. All he had on was his dance shorts and a painted mask.It was more than nice, it was heaven, and my angel was in my arms once again. This time I did see Pete standing by the bar with Chris. Their eyes were on us and I detected Pete wasn't happy so I put a huge smile on my face. Gotcha, you prick.

We had another two dances then Jay went out the back to grab his bag and while I waited by the door Pete passed by. I couldn't help it I leant over into Chris's ear and said.

"How did that threesome go again, idiot. You know the one you had with my boyfriend?" He blushed then they both moved out the door. I smiled as Jay came up beaming from ear to ear. I think he was happy.

"Are you staying?" I smiled at him.

"Yes, if you will have me." He blushed now.

"Well just get ready for a good sleep because I'm too tired to make love tonight."

"Umm." He groaned taking my free hand and kissing it.

We danced around the lovemaking side of our friendship. I figured he might eventually give it up when he's ready but it was hard to do. Each evening I held him on the couch tightly and each night we slept. In a funny sort of way I enjoyed it. It was nice just to hold him and laugh with him about it. He did thank me several times and I acted cool because it was nice.

Saturday was a screamer of a game. Jay was the catalyst for six of my goals. We worked in perfect unison. I noticed some pigs were trying to trip him up but he was too fast for them. It was like watching the Hunger Games and Jay was first prize. I didn't know how long he could keep it up, injuries are rife in this game and one injury to Jay's legs could put him completely in the line of fire, work wise and footy wise, he would be fucked.

I tried to run closer to him but it wasn't always a good thing because I got further and further away from the goal square, which opened it up for the opposition. One enterprising opposition player, known for his brutality on the ground, made it his mission to tackle Jay at every chance. His elbow firmly lodged in his neck on one particular occasion but just as I was about to pull him off he screamed and grabbed for his crotch, holding his hands over his balls. I heard someone say,

"It will be worse next time fuckwit." I turned to see John looking a little pissed off with the player. He must have quietly kicked him in the balls.

"We look after our own Ben, don't we?"

"Yes we sure do John," I answered as Jay took the free kick that he duly planted in between the goal posts. We three slapped hands while the other player complained bitterly to the umpire who wasn't listening.

At half time the coach tore strips off John telling him he could have been reported but quietly he was smiling at him.

"Are you okay?" I whispered to Jay.

"Yeah, sure Ben, all's good thanks to Johnny boy."

He ran off to take up his position, the other team were bumping him and trying to piss him off but really we all gave as good as we got.

Tonight I get to see the show. It's opening night and I thought I would dress up a bit. Jay had to be at the theatre early so I would drop him off on the way home from the game. I didn't have to be at the theatre until seven thirty; was I ever looking forward to it.

After a lot of backslapping and, `See you tonight Jay,' from the boys we headed off to the theatre.

"Are you nervous?"

"Oh yes, more so now than later though. The nerves leave me as soon as I step on to the stage."

"That's good. I want a brilliant jig or two out of you tonight otherwise there will be no cuddles later." I grinned.

"Okay boss, no problem, a good jig or two coming up." He burst out laughing.

I took extra care with my hair and clothes. I wanted to at least look like I fit in with the theatre crowd. And if I say so myself I think I looked a bit spiffy. I was early so I poured myself a drink, just a small scotch to calm my nerves. I stood on my little balcony and dreamed of a time when I could show Jay how much I loved him. I was in another place when a tear escaped. I finished my drink then shook myself. I had to go see my angel dance.

I was lucky to find a car space within walking distance of the venue. And, after locking up my ride, I headed towards the brightly lit façade of a very old theatre. The sign said, 'Billy Elliott featuring Jay Denver and Cory Bidwell,' there was a big picture of Jay doing his pose. It was awesome so I took my phone out and started taking pictures. When I got into the foyer there was a life size cut out of him. I took a few more, maybe twenty.

"Go stand next to it Ben." It was coach, he took my phone and I got a pic of me with the cutout then I took one of him and his wife either side. I noticed several of my teammates and their wives were doing the same. I suppose they are all here to support him. I felt a little put out because I thought in my own head this show was just for me, stupid I know.

The gongs rang out and we started to move into the theatre to be seated. To my surprise most of the team were in the same section as me although to be honest, I was the closest to the front, I felt a little better.

The overture started and the house lights went down. The rattling of people trying to get comfortable annoyed me. I wanted to stand up and tell them all to shut the fuck up. I kept the peace, though, and my excitement built until I could hardly stand it anymore. The heavy curtain opened and there was a pole against a blue back light and I saw the most beautiful angel leaning on it. The announcer said,

"And now direct from Broadway, New York, the one and only Billy Elliott."

Jay bowed and danced a little across the stage, just steps, and when he got to the wings he took one hell of a running leap and ended halfway up that pole landing at a perfect pose. That's when I noticed what he had on; a pair of pale blue tights and nothing else. My God, I drooled.

"Sir, could you please sit down?"

Someone was talking to me and pulling at my jacket. It was the lady behind. I had stood up and was still silently clapping, what a fucking dork. I flopped down, red as a beetroot; the man next to me leant over and whispered,

"Friend of yours?"

"Awesome teammate." I replied.

He was wonderful and looked spectacular as he went through his routine. I had seen it six or seven times now but this time it was so different. Jay was throwing everything he had into it. Perfection plus and when he finished his spot he stood center stage and bowed again. Giving me a slight smile, I think.

The house erupted into applause and cheers. I could hear the boys behind me whooping it up like they were at a rock concert.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Billy Elliott," the announcer yelled into the mike.

Lights off and Jay disappeared. The show started and it was amazing, scenery appeared from nowhere and a heap of little guys danced over the stage. The younger Billy was excellent and he looked nothing like Jay, though that wasn't important. I thoroughly enjoyed the first half of the show and if the guys saw my little solo act at the start, they didn't dare say anything to me as I downed another small scotch at interval.

"Mr. Ben Chambers, paging Mr. Ben Chambers," an attendant was calling as he walked by.

"That's me."

"Mr. Ben Chambers?"

"Yes."

"A note for you sir." He handed me a note that read,

"You looked like you were enjoying yourself immensely, hahahaha."

I blushed, it was from Jay.

I noticed the little heart he had drawn down the bottom, mine skipped a beat. Ding-dong the gong rang out, well I had better get back into it.

He opened the second half with much the same fanfare except for one important thing. He had his tiny black dance shorts and a black ribbon tied around both his thighs. My hardon was straining to get out of my pants, it's a wonder my zipper held. He free danced and some of it I understood. It seemed to be heartbreaking in parts, then full on love in other scenes. But all in all so bloody amazing, then a young woman joined him and they danced as one.

After his partner had left the stage Jay began a difficult number. It preluded the show and the roar of the audience was thunderous. He danced with the kids a bit, and then disappeared again and I missed him. Towards the end a well-dressed man walked down the aisle and sat in the empty seat in the front row. The dialogue started and his face was shown on a screen to the side of the stage. He was Billy's father; it was well done. The kids came on and started the finale; they slowly went off stage and that left my Billy Elliott, that angel who loved dancing, more than anything remaining. Unfortunately the audience went ballistic as he started dancing across that stage, he got a standing ovation before he even started but in true theatrical style he didn't falter. His face beamed when he saw his father, and he came to the stage edge as the guy stood and hugged him, then he was off into a whirlwind dance that only Jay could put a title to.

My hands hurt as I slapped them together relentlessly joining in on the hype of the audience. I just wanted to jump on stage and find my boy.

I waited for an hour at the stage door with roughly forty others including a half dozen team members. When he appeared, they grabbed him and he ended up on the guy's shoulders. They started jiggling him around in a circle and clapping him on the back.

I only saw my boy being manhandled so I shoved my way in and pulled him off then stood in front of him to make sure he wasn't hurt in any way.

"Ben. Hey earth to Ben, can I sign some autographs please?" Jay was laughing.

I did a double take and thought, oh shit.

He was laughing quite loudly as he made his way through his fan's requests. The guys had mostly left and some wanted him to party with them but he gracefully declined, citing he had to rest. We walked to the car almost hand in hand. I didn't say a word as I started it and took off towards the nearest public park and when I found a quiet spot I killed the engine and took him in my arms, urgently kissing every inch of his exposed skin.

"You liked it that much eh?"

"Words can't describe how wonderful it was, kissing does."

"Well let's keep describing then." He took my face in his hands and started laying his kisses on me. I didn't complain.

At home he lay on the floor and stretched his body and I finally couldn't take it anymore so I gave him a shoulder massage. I just needed to touch this angel. He moaned all the way through it. I then had him face down on the bed in his underwear and as I got to his lower back I kind of said,

"This would go better with your jocks off Jay."

He lifted his head then his hands slowly pulled his underwear down, forcing his bum higher and nearer to my lips.

"That better?"

"Oh yes." I was facing the most magnificent ass God ever created, just for him, and it was sensational. I oiled it, rubbed it, almost ran my tongue along it's crack and once slipped and let a finger touch his love shute, he groaned.

"Ben make love to me," I heard him say.

"Wha?" I was stunned.

"Ben please fuck me, make love to me, now dammit."

I immediately poured more oil onto his bits and rubbed it in, while reaching over to open my bedside drawer. A condom was in my teeth in no time, I tore it open then slicked myself up.

"Are you sure angel?"

"Yes Ben I'm more than sure. I love you so much, just be very gentle okay?"

I stopped everything I was trying to do and time drifted by as my brain processed what he had just said then I heard sniffling.

"Jay, Jay what's the matter?" I rolled him onto his side and held him close.

"Oh hell, what have I done, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong Ben, it's just that it's been so long since anyone has held me like you do. I feel a bit like a fake letting you play with my bum and not telling you how I felt about you. I love you Ben, I really love you. I realized it the second I stepped onto that stage tonight. I thought of Justin and what we had but Ben I have to tell you what I felt for Jus is nothing compared to how I feel for you." Tears were streaming down his face and I was stunned into silence again. Stroking his face I caved in and wept.

"Thank you, thank you. I love you so fucking much Jay, so fucking much." I wept, we wept, and I also thanked God.

I needed to do something, something I have been dreaming of for so long as I kissed down his back slowly. Licking, kissing, smelling I arrived at his behind and did the same only more urgently. My tongue slipped in between his crack and he moaned loudly and squirmed as he opened his legs wider, lifting his hips off the bed. My wet tongue licked and my lips kissed the place I needed to make love to. After a very long time I had two fingers inside him, he was so tight. He was nearly asleep so I made my way back to his ear and said.

"We can put this off until tomorrow if you want to sleep?"

"Keep going Ben but be gentle, it's not used to it yet," he moaned that one out too.

I went back to my ministrations, then slipped a condom on after, I oiled my cock. I gave him a good rimming using my fingers in between kisses then I laid on his back resting my cock at the entrance.

"You ready baby?"

"Yes Ben, thank you."

I reached down and rubbed my dick up and down his crack until I hit the entry to heaven. I pushed gently and it was tight, I gave it a harder shove, he yelped, so I stopped as I could feel the head slip into his body without my help.

"Wait, wait, not yet," he whispered.

"Okay." I pulled back.

We waited while he adjusted himself then he lifted up again letting me slide all the way in. He was awesome and so bloody sexy. I kissed his neck and face while he made whimpering noises, then I started to pump into him. I couldn't help it, my dick was having a party of it's own down there, and I was having one of my own with Jay's face.

"You okay baby?"

"Oh yes, Ben, thank you, I love you." I shot long and hard, I knew it wouldn't take me long. The tight feeling of Jay's sphincter around my dick was driving it into a full on orgasm; the type you only get every now and then, and the kind that never seems to stop. I was still moving into him long after my balls had emptied into the plastic sheath, the aftermath was glowing and stayed a long time.

"Thank you, thank you so much Jay, I love you until the end of time, thank you."

"No, thank you Ben, thank you for making love to me. I love you." He was falling asleep so I pulled the blanket up then went to the bathroom to rid myself of that over stuffed condom and to have a piss. There was blood, not much but there was blood on the condom. Oh hell, I didn't think I had been that rough with him, fuck!

I went back to bed but Jay was almost sound asleep, well he was making noises in his sleep and they sounded like good ones. I wrapped him in my arms and ran a wet face washer along his crack, a little more blood so I shook Jay awake, I can't let him sleep if I have hurt him.

"Jay, Jay wake up, there's blood, we need to get you to the hospital."

He moaned something then after a few seconds he reached down and I assumed he was checking his bum out. He lifted his fingers but no blood.

"Goodnight Ben, thank you." He wet his lips again and started drifting off.

"Jay we need to get you to the hospital baby."

"No, virgin," I heard him whisper.

"What was that?"

"I'm a virgin Ben, blood normal, go to sleep, thank you." He rolled onto his right side and nestled into me while letting out a sigh as he drifted away from me again.

What the fuck, no way is he a virgin, what the fuck was that all about? I stayed awake for some time thinking about what he said but my dick had other ideas. It could still feel the tightness moving up and down it like a suction piston, it felt wonderful and it wanted more. I slept heavily, no dreams except the most beautiful music was playing in my ears.

The morning was sunny and it's rays beamed into the bedroom, warming the slight chill in the air. I lifted my leg out from underneath the doona cover as Jay threw his arm over my chest as he was waking slowly. No training today so nothing to do but lay in bed with my angel but then it hit me again. I thought he was in a relationship. I mistook him for a bottom but maybe he's a top? I pondered this until I realized his hand had a hold of my cock and was making it very happy to be woken up in such a way.

"Jay, how do you feel?"

"Wonderful Ben, thank you."

"Jay we have to talk."

"No Ben, do it again please, do me again. I liked it and I have to get used to it, for you."

He rolled onto his stomach and I nearly fainted as the blood rushed to my dick so fast.

"No Jay, you were bleeding, what's that all about?"

He lifted his head and faced me.

"I'm a virgin Ben, well not anymore thanks to you but you're my first and thank you for making it so easy for me, thank you for making love to me."

"What the fuck is going on Jay?"

"Ben I have always been a top. Justin was a total bottom and he didn't even want to go there so we didn't but I really wanted him to. He had some sort of blockage and couldn't keep it up to even enter me so we forgot about it, you're my first."

"Jay what can I say to that? What a wonderful gift you have given me and if I had known I would have been more gentle with you."

"Ben you couldn't be more gentle than you were.It was awesome and you were perfect. It hurt a lot but I knew you wouldn't be rough, I just knew that, you see I see more in you than you do."

"I love you so much angel, thank you, it was just the best fuck I've ever had." I kissed him repeatedly.

"Do you want to make love to me now?"

"Oh yes, of course I do but let's ease off for awhile, I don't want you to be bleeding again."

"Ben," he yelled, I jumped.

"What?"

"Fuck me now."

I reached over to get another condom; my happy dick was again swinging in the wind until it found the entrance to heaven. I was even gentler than last night and I could feel his entrance sucking the life out of me as I bottomed out, fully inserted. I waited for the nod from him that came a minute later. He moaned, cried and wriggled around my bed as I gently moved back and forth. Lasting three more pushes than last night, his fist was pulling his dick and when he exploded onto the sheets I felt it. I felt a vice grip me several times. I didn't even count how many spasms because I was doing the same inside of him. I wish I could lose the condoms. Exhausted I slipped out and no blood this time, I flopped beside him and pulled his breathless body into me.

"Thank you," he said.

"Your welcome," I replied.

I could have gone again but I didn't want to frighten him.

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