The Journey of a Lonely Heart, Part 1 by DGB
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If you enjoy the story, I'd appreciate comments to donbon@gmail.com. And now for the feature presentation: The Journey of a Lonely Heart, Part 1
Derek slowly sipped his beer while he watched the waves roll in. It was his last night of vacation but he wasn't quite ready to go home yet. He'd been throwing himself into work the last 6 months just so he didn't have time to think about life. It was easier to just keep plugging along the daily grind than to admit his life had gotten to this point. It wasn't that Derek was unhappy, but something just felt off. Unfinished. He was good at his job, but at the end of the day he felt numb, like a hamster running on the same little wheel day in and day out, never making progress. He had hoped it was just a funk and maybe if he worked harder it would pass.
And now here he was, a week on a tropical island intended to let him relax and recharge, time to think things through and maybe sort out his emotions once and for all. It had worked to help him relax at least, or rather the two beachfront massages had. And the fresh coconut spiked with rum might have helped. And of course he couldn't forget the blowjob from the cute little 21 year old college cub this afternoon.
His flirting with the cub had started innocently enough, just two guys from Texas chatting about paradise on growlr. Neither had intended on hooking up since in a few days Mike would be headed back to school and Derek home to work. Derek knew he was probably kidding himself, of course the kid was hoping for some action, even if they knew that age and distance would keep this from being serious. Mike had met him at the hotel Starbucks, wearing tight shorts showing off a firm bubble butt, a tank top from some random frat house, and a faded Houston Astros cap.
Mike was far too young for him. Besides that, Derek didn't understand what the kid would see in him anyway. Derek was 36, 6'1", but largely unremarkable from the other men on the app. He was neither large enough to tick the chub fetish, nor thin enough to be a chaser. He could stand to lose a few pounds, but finding time for the gym had never been a priority. His dark blonde hair had started to thin, but he compensated with goatee, reddish with just a hint of white. Derek's eyes were a startlingly vibrant blue, but the camera never quite seemed to capture that, so it couldn't have been his profile photo. Mike had made no secret about how much he wanted to run his hands across Derek's furry chest, but that hardly qualified as a distinguishing characteristic. He was hairy all over, always had been, and the one time he had shaved him pubes on a lark just made him feel silly. It wasn't that Derek lacked self confidence in his appearance, he just saw himself as average, and he was content with that.
Neither really felt like coffee, so Derek had invited him up to his room for a beer. And there they were, standing on the balcony chatting away and enjoying a few drinks, and the occasional bump became a lean, and a pat on the back turned into a gentle rub. When Mike had looked up into his eyes, Derek leaned over and gave the boy a kiss that made him whimper. Derek had to stifle a chuckle when he felt Mike start to hump his leg. Derek had broken off the kiss and started to pull away, but the little cub was insistent. And what man can resist pleading eyes and a hand on their dick?
The kissing continued for several minutes, becoming increasingly urgent as Mike's grinding had slowly backed Derek against the wall. He let has hands roam the kids back, slowly getting lower and lower. Mike was just a little too short for Derek to play with his ass. He thought the boy was going to cum from all the moaning when he had finally pulled up his shirt and ran his hand across Mike's bare flesh. Derek's last shred of resistance melted when Mike had whispered "Please Daddy let me suck you."
Daddy. There it was. Derek still wasn't sure how he felt about being called daddy, but right now his dick was doing most of the thinking. He quickly spun them around and pinned the boy against the wall. He held the kid's head in place as their tongues dueled for supremacy, and used his other hand to finally dig into that ass. Mike's fevered whimpering left no doubt he was excited by the turn of events. "Yeah boy, are you going to make Daddy happy?" Derek threw out, testing the waters.
"Yes sir! I promise sir I'll do whatever you want to make you happy. Please let me suck your cock sir."
Well, Derek mused, guess that answers that. This boy wants me to use him. He usually didn't go much for domination or dirty talk, but why not roll with it this time? The surge of power over the boy had Derek's dick starting to leak.
"Yeah that's a good boy. Daddy wants you on your knees right here, and you're not allowed to get up until you've drained me dry." He roughly grabbed Mike's bulge through his shorts as he added "Are you going to make Daddy happy boy?"
And that's all it took. There was no mistaking the telltale signs of a man shooting in his underwear. Derek kept massaging Mike's bulge and kissed the boy hard to try and quiet the moans. It would be a bit embarrassing if another hotel guest started to bang on the door.
Derek slowed the kisses as Mike's orgasm ebbed. As the kid started to blush, Derek thought for sure he was about to bolt for the door. He was about to try and make some small talk when Mike spoke "Thank you sir. Please let me make you happy now".
It took only seconds for Mike to drop to his knees and unzip the older man's shorts. Derek's 6" cut cock proudly stood at attention. He knew he didn't have the longest cock, but his fleshy girth more than made up for any lack of length in his mind. Derek gave a contented sigh as Mike licked the length of his cock before closing his lips around the head. Derek looked out over the ocean and let the warm ocean breeze and the warmth on his dick carry him to paradise. It quickly became apparent that Mike wasn't the most experienced lad. It's been said that even a bad pizza is still pizza, and the same can be said for blowjobs, as long as teeth don't get in the way.
Derek reached out and ran his hands through Mike's hair, hoping to feed the kids fantasy. He also wondered what it said about him that here he was, on a tropical island, standing on his balcony and staring out across the Atlantic, his dick in a college kid's mouth, and he was just ready for the encounter to be over. He was already feeling bad about using the kid. As the guilt settled in Mike pulled off long enough to say "Use me Daddy, please feed me".
So Derek started thrusting, and realizing the boy could handle it, grabbed his head and got more forceful. Derek imagined it was sex with a steady boyfriend and shot his load a few thrusts later.
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After they were done, and reality set in, Mike made a quick exit. Derek didn't really pay attention to the mumbled excuse.
After Mike left, he was again alone with his thoughts as the sun set over the water, and the endless pound of waves on the beach. His beer was warm now, but it made no difference as he drank the last few sips. Tomorrow he'd be on his way back home, still undecided about what he needed to do next. And next was a big category right now, and he didn't know what would make his life more complete.
Should he return the recruiters call, or maybe look for a career change? Was he ready to try dating again? That never worked well in the past, since he rarely found someone who held his interest, and when he found someone that did, there hadn't been a mutual spark. Derek's heart yearned to find the missing pieces of his life.
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Derek woke at sunrise, his room bathed in vibrant light. Derek stretched and reflected that he was usually up early for work anyway.
The thought of work filled him with a sense of dread, not just from the backlog of emails he knew was waiting, but just the idea of going back to the grind that wore him down. And in that moment he knew it was time for change. Life was too short to spend most of your life grinding away at something that didn't make you happy. Maybe this trip had been more therapeutic than he thought.
With a new sense of relief, Derek decided to indulge a bit and ordered eggs benedict and a pot of coffee from room service. Throwing on a pair of shorts he went out to grab the empty beer cans off the balcony, and spotted Mike's cap in the corner. The kid must have been in such a rush to book an uber and leave that he forgot all about it. Derek decided to try and do the respectable thing by returning the hat, but of course Mike's profile had disappeared overnight like so many hookups do. That was the part about meeting men that bothered Derek the most. They obviously had both had fun in the moment, so why pretend the other doesn't exist afterwards? Was it so much to ask to get a "thanks for last night, I really enjoyed meeting you" type message? Derek wondered yet again if he would ever find a satisfying relationship.
"Looks like I have a souvenir after all" Derek thought with a smirk, just as his breakfast arrived.
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Derek wore his new hat on the flight home. Security and baggage claim had both been unusually quick, so maybe the hat was a good luck charm. Time flew by the next three weeks. Derek had called the recruiter back and sent a few emails off to contacts, and by the end of the week he had two interviews lined up. One played to his strengths offering him an engineering director position for a niche oil and gas exploration firm, and the other would take his life in an entirely new direction as corporate outreach director for a non-profit organization.
He had volunteered off and on with the non-profit for years, ever since a class project for his MBA The organization worked to improve the lives of children with cancer, bringing an arts program into the clinic and an annual summer camp where the kids could forget about their medical problems for a few days and just be kids. Derek's role would be to use his network from the offshore industry to find new sources of corporate support, and to raise the organizations profile amongst the philanthropically minded. Of course the pay offered by the non-profit wasn't even close to the engineering position, but it was enough for Derek to continue living his comfortable lifestyle. And money wasn't everything, right?
The ink hadn't even dried on his signature when Derek handed in his letter of resignation. His boss wasn't entirely surprised, she had sensed Derek was on the verge of something for a while. She had seen it before: a top performer capable of running circles around their peers, highly regarded by clients, that seemed to just burn out one day when they no longer felt challenged. She had learned there was nothing she could do but reap the benefits of employees like Derek while she could, and wish them well in their new endeavor.
Derek walked out of work that afternoon with a spring in his step, feeling lighter than he had in ages. Probably the last time he had changed jobs, thinking this one would be the place to make him happy. It had for a few years, but now he itched for a new challenge. Derek had fired off a text to his best friend Jenn earlier that afternoon to see if she was free for dinner.
Jenn knew a surprise invitation from "Mr. Predictable" for Mexican food and margaritas meant Derek was up to something, and her husband was out of town anyway, so Jenn quickly accepted. Hopefully this meant he was done teasing her, and would finally share what he was up to.
She laughed as soon as she saw her friend sitting on the restaurant patio with the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up, wearing a worn Astros cap, sunglasses, and a big goofy grin. "I didn't think you were much of a baseball fan" Jenn remarked while taking her seat.
"I'm not, but it was the only one I had in the car. Besides, it's a lucky hat" Derek replied as the waiter came to get Jenn's drink order. Jenn demanded Derek spill the beans about what was going on as soon as the waiter left. She was happy to see her friend in a good mood, knowing that he hadn't been himself for a while. His excitement talking about the non-profit job was infectious and they talked for three hours before deciding to call it a night. The waiter was happy at the large tip they left behind.
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Derek had offered to stay a month at his job to allow for a smooth transition, but thankfully his boss had only asked him to stay on another week. She knew Derek had wrapped up the bulk of his projects before vacation, so there wasn't much sense in getting him involved in something new. The executive director at the non-profit he would report to, Robyn, was leaving for vacation herself, so they agreed Derek's first day would be a week from Monday when she returned. That gave him a three day weekend to mentally relax and shift gears into his new role.
Leaving his office for the last time Thursday afternoon was bittersweet. His now former boss had taken him out for a quick lunch before dashing off to a meeting. She told him he was free to go whenever he was done with goodbyes, just use his security badge like normal to get out of the parking garage before deactivation at 5pm. With that she headed off to her meeting and left him on his own.
Derek wasn't much for goodbyes, so he just logged off his computer and threw the charge cable for his phone into his backpack. He'd taken all his other personal items home earlier in the week. With a final check to make sure he had everything, he pulled the office door closed and silently headed for the elevator.
He didn't start smiling until he popped open the rear gate of his Subaru. Sitting right there in the middle of the cargo bay was the lucky hat. Derek smirked as he pulled on the cap, rolled up his sleeves, and headed home. He couldn't help but crank up the radio as he left his old life in the dust.
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Friday morning found him wide awake at 5am, giddy and floating on air. Derek couldn't remember the last time he felt this light, and being unemployed was fun. He thought to himself that this was going to be an awfully long weekend if he didn't find some outlet for all this energy. So he fired up the Nespresso machine for a few shots of caffeine, and set about cleaning the house.
His house was located in a suburb West of Houston. When he bought the place it was a new neighborhood just being built and only a short 10 minute drive to work. Even though he saw himself as more of the urban type these days, the price and location had suited his needs. The fire place had inspired romantic visions of cold winter nights spent cuddled up with a boyfriend and a glass of wine. Of course, in Houston cold winter nights only last for a month or so, but it was still fun to dream.
He never had lived out that particular fantasy in front of the fireplace. Despite his best attempts over the years, lasting relationships had eluded him. In fact, he had never even shared the bed in his master bedroom. Any action had always started in the living room, and since the guest bedroom was first in the hallway he'd steer guys there. Derek had come to realize the guest bedroom was a defense mechanism of sorts. He guarded his bed just like his heart, keeping everyone just a few doors away. Letting another man share his bed was something that would only happen when he could trust someone completely, and he knew he wouldn't wake up to an empty bed.
By the end of the weekend Derek had 10 trash bags piled on the curb waiting for Monday's garbage pickup, and two bags and a few boxes headed to charity. The purge of stuff he no longer needed had been cathartic, a decade of meaningless clutter gone. He finally fell asleep just before one, jittery at the potential tomorrow held.
Derek's first day was mostly spent filling out HR paperwork and getting familiar with the staff. He had resolved that he wanted to be friends with as many coworkers as possible, a departure from his normal routine of keeping work strictly professional. Sure it seemed to be appropriate for the business world, but it was also a bit lonely to not work with friends. Heck, at his last job he wasn't even sure if they knew he was gay. It wasn't that he was really in the closet, but his personal life had no bearing on his job performance, so why should he share his life with strangers? He realized he must have seemed awfully cold to his coworkers, but the corporate world could be cut throat and he refused to provide ammo for personal attacks.
Slipping into professional mode at the office just came so easy, and he'd be well past the time for forming friendship before he knew who he could trust. But now he was no longer a member of the cold corporate world. His coworkers at the non-profit seemed to be a family of sorts during the interview, and they were there to make a difference in the world, not generate returns for shareholders. Derek would never admit it out loud, but he craved to be part of a family. Since the foundation was pretty small, there was little reason for his coworkers to be competitive. Derek was determined to let his true self shine through, and hopefully find contentment in new work and new friends.
Derek scored points with Robyn asking if she and her wife Natalie had a good trip, but blushed when he admitted he couldn't remember the name of their son. Derek had never been the best at remembering names until after he had engaged in conversation with someone for a while, but he was making a real effort to get better. Remembering donors by name would be a must in this job.
This job was new territory, but Derek was confident he'd get the hang of it. On Tuesday he was scheduled to have lunch with Robyn and a couple of the board members to get ideas on where to focus his energy. Just as they were walking to the door, Robyn got a call from the caterer needing to review contracts for an upcoming event, so he headed out to lunch on his own. He sat in his car and listened to the end of "Don't Stop Believing" since he was a few minutes early, and answered Jenn's text about how work was going. When the song finished he looked up and his attention was instantly captured by the denim clad butt of a man walking towards the restaurant.
Derek felt his breath catch when the man turned around to hold the door open for a group of women. He looked to be in his mid-thirties, 5'-7" or so, with dark hair and bronze skin, likely of South American descent. His baby blue polo was pulled tight across his chest, showing off hairy muscular arms and a firm torso on top of a set of thick legs. The jeans accentuated a tantalizing bulge making Derek hungry for more than just lunch. Right as he was getting his libido in check, the sexy little fireplug smiled showing off the cutest dimples, nodded to the women and went inside. Derek couldn't help but think how he'd do anything to see that smile again, kiss those sweet lips, and hold the stud close.
An involuntary sigh escaped as he got out and headed into the restaurant. The man was probably here to meet his wife for lunch, and besides that Derek had business to attend to. Checking in with the hostess he found out the two board members he was meeting had already been seated. He followed the host into the restaurant and glanced around hoping to catch another glimpse of the man with the dimples. Between the lunch crowd and high walled booths he couldn't see much, and gave up the search reminding himself he was working.
The hostess led him to a booth at the back, and a woman dressed in scrubs immediately stood up to greet him. He shook the offered hand of Dr. Lindsey Barnes, chairman of the board, and turned to greet the other member of their party. Derek's mouth suddenly went dry as the man in the blue polo stood before him, introduced as Dr Trevor Smith.
Special thanks to Jim/Sojourn1950@yahoo.com for inspiration/edits. Check out his stories on nifty.