The Lone Wolf 5
The Lone Wolf
Part 5
This is a work of fiction; some events are of my own history. Any characters with similarities to people are purely coincidental.
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This story is my property and shall not be posted anywhere else without written consent from myself (I most likely give it, I just want credit)
Once Uncle Andy, Talon, Jane, and Ty came back from the club. We all sat down and had a short discussion about the situation. Jane and Dad were actually in the neighborhood to see the house beside ours. After a lot of talk it came down to a decision, they would move in next door to us. On the condition that dad wouldn't push me to much for a relationship, I wasn't as angry at him but still held resentment.
Life is looking up lately, things just seem to be shaping up perfectly now a days. Dad, Jane, and Talon eventually moved in to an empty house next to us. Tyler was ecstatic to have dad back again, I guess both of us missed him, even if he wasn't that good of a father before. He was trying to make up for it now. Certain things I will never forget, but maybe I can forge new ones, I still held more anger than I can explain. Just being in the room with Dad put me on edge, and made me angry.
Dad and I would talk about mum a lot, he held a lot of anger about her death; I didn't have the heart to tell him about the Huntington's disease that she had contracted. It got to the point of obsession for dad, it was like he couldn't let it go till he knew everything about it.
I asked Jane dad's new wife and talons mother, how she felt about it she just said that "Love is like energy, it never dies it just changes form." Always the scientist... she basically meant that even though dad didn't love mom, as a wife anymore, he did love her as the mother of his children.
"But doesn't it make you angry that he still cares about her, not that I'm mad about it, I like to know she's remembered. But don't you wonder who he loves more or something?" I asked Jane.
"No sweetie, I know your father loves me with all his heart, just like he did with your mother or at least as much as he was capable back than. Your father will never forget her, but he needs closure, I wanna help him get that. After all he helped me with Talon, I can't thank him enough for that." Jane said, but she noticed the look in my eyes, she knew I wasn't telling dad everything.
"Jane, what if... what if it was better mum died when she did?" I asked Jane.
"What do you mean sweetheart?" She asked with a worried look about her.
"Mum was... she wasn't... mum had been diagnosed with Huntington's disease a few days before her death." I replied.
"Oh..." was all Jane could say.
"I want to tell dad... but I can't help feeling that it'd make him worry about me more." I said.
"You're right, it would. I'm assuming you've already been warned that there is a 50 percent chance of you contracting it yourself, right?" She asked.
"Yeah, I haven't gotten the guts to be tested yet, it feels like scheduling the test would be like a death sentence... like mom" I admitted to Jane.
"Honey, there is a good chance you don't have it, but if we wait and do nothing it could spring up all of a sudden. There's some promising medical trials we could look into if you're affected, but if we wait it could be 10-15 years or more before any new trials could produce results. The disease normally appears at a young age, your mother not contracting it until recently, is actually quite surprising." Jane informed me.
"Jane... I don't think I could take it if I was diagnosed with it..." I said in almost a whisper.
"Don't say that, you're a strong young man. you have survived more than any of us. You could survive that as well." She replied, it felt good she believed in me, but it didn't help.
"That's the thing; I'm tired of `surviving' I just wanna live for once! Every time things start to look up like now, something comes along and fucks it all up, I'm sick of all of it!" my anger just came out all at once. "Its not fair! I never did anything to deserve all this bullshit. First I lose Ashley to cancer, then dad starts taking out his problems on me, then that truck driver kills mum... every time I think things are gonna get better, someone I love gets hurt or hurts me." I ended in tears.
"I know, honey I'm so sorry, but unfortunately this is life. If everything was easy we'd not know what the good moments were, if everyday was perfect the things that are special wouldn't seem special at all." She said trying to comfort me, but I'll be honest, I kinda want to hit the woman.
"This isn't fucking Charlie brown, or a soap opera, that's the most made up bullshit I've ever heard. You don't know what it's like, nobody knows! But everyone says `I know'. BULLSHIT! Nobody knows! None of you know what's it like to lose your best friend to cancer, watching her slowly lose everything that made her the person she was! And then the person who I thought I could trust, my dad, decides to use me as a punching bag, and further cripples me by telling me how useless I have become. Then to top it all off, because of a fucking stupid ass truck driver who fell asleep at the wheel, my mother was killed. The one person who actually stood by me through all of it died! YOU DON'T KNOW, SO DON'T TELL ME YOU DO!" I yelled at Jane stunning her. I couldn't take it anymore, I jumped up and flung the living room open running out of their house.
I just needed to be alone for a bit I thought until I came in my room to find Talon on my computer looking through my playlists.
"What the fuck?" I asked to nobody in particular.
"What?" Talon turned around and asked.
"What are you doing here?"
"Uhh, remember yesterday you said I could use you computer cause our internet wasn't hooked up yet?"
"Oh right, sorry man, rough day." I replied blushing at forgetting.
"No worries dude, you've had a rough couple years, if anyone gets a right to be an asshole every so often, its you." Talon said grinning.
"Heh, thanks... I guess..." I replied, he's cute grinning.
"No problem, by the way, nice music. Not many people have such an... interesting taste in music." Talon replied
"Fuck you, hehe." I said blushing.
"What?, it's true. I like it. You don't have just one genre, I mean you've got: Paramore, Hey Monday, Adele, Seether, and Lady Gaga in one play list. That's some interesting shit." He replied seriously.
"Thanks again, I think?" I asked more than answered.
"So, what's this file marked TLW on your desktop? When I tried to open it, it locked up."
"!!! Uhh !!!" speaking in a very high voice. "That's nothing, just some stories I wrote, my old therapist thought I could get some emotions out better that way." I replied, thanking god that file had been corrupted. That file was a story I'd been working on for a month or so now.
"Cool, could I read it sometime? I like amateur authors better, I can't stand all that symbolism shit that is in professional writing." He said, I agreed with him on that. I hate symbolism... a leaf falling is a fucking leaf falling! Not the sign of death for god sake!
"Uhh, well you see... I don't really let anyone read my stuff." I lied. That and the story was full of my feelings as a teenage gay guy, I thought in my head.
"I'm sure it's awesome, with all you've been through it's probably some powerful stuff?" talon stated more than asked.
"I think, I dunno really. I don't really think about it, sometimes I just get really sad and the computer's there, my legs draw me to the seat and my fingers just fly from key to key." He stared at me with what I hoped was interest... but I couldn't place it.
"Well NOW I have to read it man." He said enthusiastically
"Maybe some day." Yeah maybe the day after I die like E. M. Forster.
"We'll see..." he replied with a fake evil grin.
I burst our laughing at that.
"What?" he frowned
"Sorry, you just reminded me exactly of a old friend of mine names Jason. He used to make a grin just like that all the time." I said in more of a sad tone than a happy one, I guess Talon pick that up.
"Was he a good friend?"
"You know, I thought he was but actually he was kinda a dick head. Oh! Not that you are- I mean... uh-,"
"Mate, I understand its ok lol." Talon interrupted. "You know, dad said you were pretty cool, I'm glad we met finally." Talon said smiling at me.
"Thanks," I replied blushing.
"No problem" Talon said.
"Talon?"
"Yeah man?"
"Did dad talk about me a lot?"
"Oh, I couldn't shut him up, Connor this, Connor that!" he said jokingly.
"Seriously, dude was he really looking for me as much as he said?"
"You have no idea. I'm a year younger than you, and I entered the same school you were in the year you left. After dad married mom, he asked me to check with all of my friends and their parents to see if any knew your mum or Andy."
"Seriously?" I replied a bit surprised I expected some lying on his part.
"He really loves you Connor, he looked high and low for you. After he found out about your mum, he became obsessed, he was dead worried that you and Ty had been put into foster care or something."
"Uncle Andy would never have let that happen." I replied confidently.
"He didn't know that though, the fact that he found you, here? That's a one in a million chance." Talon said truthfully, he was right. To me, it just seemed just a bit too unlikely.
"If that's true, why'd the guard point me out that day?" I'd been meaning to ask this million-dollar question for a while now.
"Dad has a school picture of you on his key chain, from when you were like 13 I think. The guard was showing us around and spotted you and the key chain. He turned to dad and said "careful your son's wandering off" dad looked at me then where the guard was pointing. Shit man seeing you there was the biggest shock of all our lives." Talon replied, it seemed somewhat farfetched but it's not like the guard would just randomly point me out for no reason at all.
It just doesn't feel right, something feels off, like this is all a dream.
"He loves you, a lot. You know that right?"
"What?" I asked not really listening.
"Dad, he loves you." talon replied thoughtfully.
"I get that, it's just not easy to forget life before. I mean after everything it just seems convenient that he's suddenly diagnosed with mental issues. Even if I do believe this whole other story. Just looking at him, it brings me back to those moments before he started hitting me, the anger in his eyes, the fear in min-" Talon interrupted me by pulling me into a hug.
"Nobody expects you to forgive or forget, Dad just wants to be near you." He cooed into my ear.
"I think I'm gonna take a nap." I said simply and lay down. What I didn't expect was Talon cuddling up to me and take a nap as well.
Well this is an interesting turn of events... not gonna get a bit of sleep now damnit!
To Be continued...
This was actually read a couple weeks back, but I forgot and than wanted to change it a bit, Thanks as usual to Dave for his outstanding job the editing my unintelligible writing, and thxs to Chris whos an awesome friend, and made me want to start posting again.
Part 6 is already done, so it will be posted soon. Thanks for reading, I love comments, my Emails: sj-09@hotmail.com if you wanna reply, say otherwise I won't. Never know if some ones emailing from a shared address or something.