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Disclaimer: This story is fictional. Some of the things that happened or will happen with Harry and Jasper, especially in the high school scene, are bits and pieces of my life. Parts of the character are fictional as well. All other characters were made up and any similarities are just coincidental. This is gay romance between teenage boys, there may be sex, but for the most part, it's about their true love of each other so if that offends you, please discontinue reading. Also, if it is illegal for you to read such material, you have been warned.
I hope you're enjoying it and that the story draws you in wanting more. If you have any suggestions or concerns, do not hesitate to email me at harryscotthayden@outlook.com. Thoughts and suggestion are always welcomed and may or may not be implemented. Concerns will be considered and addressed as much as possible.
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"The One And Only You" - Chapter 8 - Depression
Issac POV
For the whole of last week, I felt worse with the things that had been going on around me. Especially with the episode that was happening at the back of the classroom during History lesson. When Mr. Brown instructed us to find our own partners for the project, I was ecstatic and immediately I stood up from my chair to proceed to the back of the classroom, but what I saw when I had turned around, my heart sank and ached. Harry had already been sitting closed to Jasper with his arm around his shoulder. They were not displaying any kind of public affection, but it was kind of eyesore to me.
Feeling defeated, I sat back down and waited for whoever want to partner with me. Without me realizing it, my eyes began to gather tears, that may cascade down my cheeks at anytime. I felt slightly breathless and felt that my face heating up, not sure either because of anger or jealousy or sadness.
Suddenly, I felt my shoulder being tapped by someone, I looked up and saw Jessica Howard, a blond hair girl, standing at 5'9" with a sweet smile and slightly on the plump side, smiling at me. What my luck to have her for a partner as she can be a bit flirtatious and I don't like it.
No one really knew of my sexuality, and I would prefer not to tell anyone. It had been tough to see others being bullied just because they are gay. Are not gay people human too? Do not we have the same rights as straight people? I knew that Harry was not homophobic as I had ever seen him talking and being friendly with gay people. There were time that he defended a boy from the tenth grade from a bully.
For me to say that Harry's was not a friend of mine, was not true at all. We did have a good relationship. For goodness' sake, we did ever do assignments together. He was kind, attentive, friendly and smart. The only problem I had with him is, he was too close with Jasper and Jasper was not really that friendly with me. To say that Jasper was being vocal or physical with me, it's not right at all, as he did not do any of that. The problem I had with him, he was with Harry and he took all the attention that Harry can ever give to me or anybody. It was totally not a fair deal. I felt that I was on the losing side.
While discussing the assignment, I would occasionally turn back to look at Harry. "Fuck!" I hissed silently. What I saw made my heart ached. Jasper was leaning his head on Harry shoulder, and Harry had his cheek on Jasper head. From where I'm sitting, it looked like they are hugging lovingly with each other. If no one was around, they would most probably be making out up there. Why can't it be me doing it with Harry instead of that idiotic Jasper. My mind kept on wandering with things I can do with Harry's back there. Hugging, kissing, caressing and much more... hehehe!
When the bell rang for lunch period, I glanced back for a quick look and saw Harry hugging Jasper ever so tightly oblivious to others surrounding them. My brain goes berserk, thinking what was actually going on back there. I was curious and jealous and angry and furious and yet I could not do anything. They were having their moment back there and their best friend Patrick and Nathan was just grinning at them. What a weird group of friend they are?
Why was Jasper been getting special treatment from Harry's? I had always wondered.
- Harry had often been giving rides to Jasper on his motorbike. Whether to school and back or just going out. 2) Sharing lunch in the cafeteria with Jasper spoon-feeding him like a sweet baby boy. He sure looked so cute while being fed by Jasper. 3) They were always seen together where ever they go, whether it is in school or out of school. 4) Their ever occasional hugs and kisses, even not in the mouth, it was more to the imagination.
Ever since that day, I felt so depressed and worthless. My appetite to food was gone, and it makes me feel so lifeless and I will always cramped myself in my bedroom, sulking My family was not helping either. They are non sympathetic human being and was just so self involved with themselves. They never ever worry or slightest care of my well-being, as though I was invincible or not alive. Instead, because of their ignorance, I took the liberty to go and see a specialist by myself to get it treated before I go crazy. Why am I so deeply affected by all of this. I don't know why am I so engrossed with Harry.
At night, I would occasionally cried myself to sleep. It's been going on for a couple of days and it was bothering me so much. My depression was getting really bad and it worsens with time, that it make to fall me sick and I would missed school for the last two days. I was given anti depression medicines, but it didn't help at all. I could eat or sleep and would always felt miserable.
The scene between Harry and Jasper would kept on repeating over and over again in my mind like a broken record player. What can I do? I am not really sure how to act, to prevent and I was just too timid to take any action. Even to talk to him will take great effort from my side. I cannot lose him to Jasper.... Never. Actually, I was not to sure what do I want from Harry. Is it just for friendship or wanting it to be more? But what can I do to convince him? Seems like Harry and Jasper had something going on with each other. But aren't they supposed to be straight? I've seen them flirting around with girls together with Patrick and Ryan, their two other significant cliques. There were even tales of them getting scored with lots of the girls in school. All of them would sure to flock to them like a bee to a honey and they just need to pick the one they like best. There were also guys who came on to Harry, and I want to be that guy.
All four of them are in the school football team. The creme de la creme of all sports in school. Handsome jocks, solid bodies and super popular around the school scene. I would probably looked like a dead wood standing around them..... Oh GOD! What am I suppose to do. If Harry and Jasper a couple, I would not be able to restrain myself from being a douche bag.
All this thoughts give me too much headache and damn, I need my medicines urgently. Lying on my bed and cry myself to sleep...... Goodnight!
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