Hey everyone, when we last left off, Michael had some stern words for Kyle. Let's see how Chris deals with it...
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After Monday afternoon, Kyle and I had been estranged from seeing each other, and like two love torn doves, were only able to pass glancing affections towards each other. Our teams were too far away from each other during our games to talk with each other and when we were not playing, we had team things to do, like watching our next competitions or shower back at the hotel. During one of the nights we even went out to the movies, and while I wanted to bring Kyle along, I didn't have his number.
Like when we first met, we forgot to exchange numbers and every time I looked at my phone expecting a text from him I had to remind myself of his lack of information. It got so bad that, at times, Ally derided me on the stupidity of how my situation was. On Wednesday she had had enough. Pulling out her phone after our last game for the day, she handed me his number. I was so elated with our win that I wanted to text him about it but Pike had interrupted me to call a team chat.
When I got to relax that night, apprehension began to set in. Pulling out my phone to test Kyle I had everything typed in, "Hey how are you doing? How did your games go? It's Chris by the way." It was a simple text but for some reason I was freaking out about sending it. I mean it was foolish that I was freaking out about such a trivial thing but this was the first text back to Kyle. Cyber communication has a whole different life of its own. What if I screw it up?
Pulling out of his text, I scroll down to the one person who, while I know probably doesn't have high views of Kyle, can probably best give me a straight answer to it all: Michael. Opening up the texts with him, I start typing out a "Can we meet?" message.
As I waited for Michael to get back to me, I unwittingly began to psych myself out. What if we were really moving too fast? I mean we had ALREADY showered together. Granted we had not had sex yet but with the amount of embracement we have given each other, some might look at us and actually think that we were boyfriends. But we weren't. Not yet at least. Was this even the best for both of us? Could it be better that we go our separate ways?
Before I could over think it anymore, my phone trilled in my hands causing the simple vibration shaking me to my senses. Even though Pike and Ally were both with me in the room, I felt Michael could help give me a better grasp on it. Looking down at my phone, I saw that Michael actually was in the area and that he could stop by for a short while. I was surprised to find out that Skyler was not with him but in a way it made things a little easier.
The thought of talking with Michael was daunting enough, given his feelings about Kyle already. I knew he might be a bit biased but I felt, out of all of those around me right now, for some reason Michael could give me the straightest answer to my gay problem. When he texted me that he was at my hotel, I told Ally and Pike that he was down stairs and went down to see him. Making up some bullshit excuse on his being here, it was slightly noticeable that something was bothering but I tried my best to not let it be too visible.
Exiting out of the elevator I saw Michael sitting in one of the lobby chairs, his back against me. He was looking through his phone then up to me as I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Hey stranger" He smiled as he rose up to hug me. Stepping back, he looked down to his feet then back, the smile gone. "Sorry if I came off a little hard on Kyle on Monday."
With my hands in my back pockets, I shift in my shoes. Glancing around, I stiffen my lips, "Actually, Michael, that's what I want to talk about. Or actually who..." I drop off that last part as I watch Michael become surprised at my admission.
Michael took a step back, slightly confused. "Is this about my impatience of him? Cause Chris I don't want to ruin what you feel about him." He started feeling a little guilty and was showing it very clearly.
Looking towards the door, I look out to the welcoming night. "Do you wanna go on a walk outside so we can talk about this outside of here?" I didn't feel like dropping this on him in the hotel. Not waiting for him to respond, I start to walk towards the entrance, his staying by my side a confirmation that he is ok with it.
"I feel very... confused. I want to care for Kyle and it's clear that I still have feelings for him but... I don't know." I show my frustration as we exit to the cool San Diego ocean breeze. Turning to the beach walkway, I find a bench to sit on. Looking out at the crashing waves, I blurt out, "Am I making a mistake?"
Michael rubs his hands and avoids looking at me. "Chris are you sure I am really the best guy to be talking this over with? What about Pike? Or Ally? Isn't she his Resident Advisor or something?" This was becoming a sore subject for Michael real fast and it was not what I was wanted for him. "You know my thoughts and feelings about him. I am not his biggest fan."
Exasperated, I plead to him. "Michael, I need you to put aside your biasness and tell me straight. PLEASE. Even though it didn't work out between us, I still trust you enough to tell me when I am about to make a mistake or not." I was placing a lot of faith in Michael, hoping mostly that he wouldn't let his history with me cloud his judgment.
Michael sighed heavily, clapping his hands in the process. "Well then... Umm I don't know Chris. I hope he has changed; I believe that people can change, for the best as well. My biggest fear is that you are falling for him to fast." Speaking almost philosophically, he added, "You are doomed to repeat your mistakes if you don't learn from them."
The thought of my relationship with Michael, as much as it sickened me to think about it, ran through my head. Like Kyle, I had moved too fast with Michael, even though I tried to make things work with him as well. The thought of repeating it all over again with Kyle gave me a slight shudder. "Yea, that's actually my fear as well." Taking a deep breath, I feel as if little has been answered for me. Looking to Michael, I realize I don't know how things are working out between him and Skyler. "How are things between you and Skyler going?"
Michael eased up a little bit, but very little. "It's frustrating at times. His team has a problem with me." Raising my eyebrow, I began to think of all the problems they gave me and my team. "No, it's not that. Actually they have started to warm up to the fact that they have a gay player on their team. Now it's which team is manlier."
I couldn't help but burst out laughing. "You have got to be joking. Really?" I stared at him skeptically.
Michael got on the defensive over this, more than I had expected. "You have no idea. It's a whole different mentality between Soccer and Rugby. We have this team mentality that we need to be buff men, which partly explains why we are so built." We both laugh at that statement, the obviousness of it amusing us.
It felt nice to talk with Michael, the banter between us helping to calm me down. While we only hung out for maybe a half hour longer, the time we spent together seemed to flow so much more than it had in the past, our catching up and talking an experience for the both of us. Michael told me about how Skyler introduced him to his family and, to my shock as well, as his boyfriend. Given that at the beginning of the semester Skyler was not in the best of places, for him to now be comfortable not only in his own skin but with Michael as well, that is a major step for him to be taking.
I told him how I was patching things up with Ally and Pike, mending the fences between not only the two of them but myself and them. I still felt responsible for my actions over their almost breakup and even though Ally was starting to forgive and forget, the guilt still lingered from time to time. Telling Michael this seemed to lift it a little more; the admission of my mistakes humanizing me to him.
Thursday morning was like a whole new week. Even though we were still in San Diego, something felt different. I don't know if it was my talk with Michael last night or what but I felt great. Our first game was against Santa Barbara and, like all our other games, it was painfully early; a 9am start time. Even though I bickered and moaned about having to wake up so early, during the game I felt refreshed.
Playing in the spring sun, it was not too hot and not too cold. Almost at the goldilocks temperature to play, I was at the top of my game. I was cutting when I needed to and catching every disk like I was supposed to. The high and low disks were caught between my fingers and thumbs and any disk that flew perfectly at my chest was caught pancake style, a loud clap ringing out every time I stopped the disk.
During our half time break, I glanced around to take a look at all the supporters. While we stood at an even 8 to 8, the game was getting tough. Out on the opposite side of the court, I was surprised to see Kyle standing there, his face barely visible over the crowd of bystanders hanging around. When our eyes locked onto each other, both our faces broke open with smiles, a recognition that I had caught his snooping.
Making my way over to him quickly, I made sure not to venture too far from the court. The game was about to resume in less than three minutes so I had to say my hello's and hi's quickly. Kyle looked gorgeous standing there in his Fullerton uniform. While I was not a fan of their elephant as a mascot, the white on blue really seemed to bring out his blond hair. "Hey creeper" I joshed with him as I approached.
Kyle stood there with his arms crossed; further expanding his already toned biceps. Raising his eyebrows, he smirks at me then looks to the field. "Looks like you have a fight ahead of you. Heard Santa Barbara is a hard team to beat."
Taking a deep breath, I glance towards my team and then the opposition. "It will be hard but I think we can take them." I shrug off the thought of losing to Santa Barbara and focus back on Kyle.
Kyle's eyes glimmer as something mischievous flashes across them. "Oh really? You THINK you can take them?"
Realizing there is a challenge being had; I take a step back and raise my eyebrow. "Something's up. Spill." I try to command Kyle to tell me what's going on but he just stands there, readjusting his arms to a more comfortable position.
"Oh nothing. Just win and you might get a prize." He seems to taunt me as I watch my team move back to the line.
Squinting my eyes at him, I point my middle and index finger at me then him then back, motioning that I am watching him. "This isn't over. I will make you talk."
Kyle scoffs at my weak threat as he moves closer to the line to watch. "You have to win to get anything from me." A few of the other Fullerton players show up to watch us play as well, furthering the pressure to win in my head.
Moving off the field to my team, I had missed out on lining up to be the first seven. Watching over our plays, I try to figure out in my head ways to get ahead of the competition. It was a tough second half and we fought hard. I joined in at our first point loss. Looking over to Kyle as we received the disk, he mockingly shrugged his shoulders and imitated zipping his lips. "Little shit" I muttered to myself as I took off running.
The game seemed to go by fast, ending at a solid 12 to 10, Santa Barbara's lead. While normally I would have been pissed at myself for losing, I was more annoyed than anything. I knew we all fought hard and even though it was close, the sting of the two points bothered me. Kyle showing up to consol me didn't help too much either. "Before you say anything, we all fought hard."
Kyle laughed lightly. "You think I am here to mock your loss?" He chuckled lightly as he watched me gulp down some badly needed water. "Actually I was going to ask you out on a date tonight but with your loss, I don't know if I can deal with such a letdown. The embarrassment of being with a looser is kind of depressing." He was trying to keep a straight face but I could tell that there was no seriousness in it at all.
Gathering my things together, I sling my bag over my shoulder and look him dead in the eyes, breaking him down to laugh. "You hold pretty high standards for a guy who got beaten the last few games. Yea, I have talked with Ellie." I smirk at him as I gather behind my team. Kyle's team is off in the distances throwing around and practicing, my team heading slowly in a different direction.
Kyle smiles, "Well, prove me wrong then. Show me that you are a better man than I am. 7 o'clock. Hotel lobby." Our banter back and forth to each other was amusing me, the one-upmanship of each other a challenge towards the other.
Walking away from Kyle, I blow him a kiss and yell out, "I'll be there."
I could not wish that the day went any faster but it seemed to be the exact opposite, the day dragged to a crawl. The games seemed to become similar to a slow motion videogame, each play being played out at obnoxiously sluggish moments. I was happy with how we were performing the rest of the day though; we won three out of our five overall games played. Even though Santa Barbara was our first game (and a loss) we managed to bring it around and win the next two games, then lose one then finish off on a strong win.
Getting into the hotel around 6, I could not wait any longer to get out. After taking a long refreshing shower, I rummaged through my clothing to find something good to wear. Since the week was slowly coming to an end I was starting to run out of clothing to wear, or at least non sweaty and pre-worn clothing to wear.
After throwing my clothes around, with Pike and Ally watching mystified, I find a good setup to wear; a grey t-shirt with a nice tribal design on the side and some nice slacks with a black weave interlacing the blue denim. As I admired my ragtag setup, Pike interrupts my train of thought to ask a very obvious question. Well it was more of a statement than a question, "So... I'm taking it you're not joining us for the party tonight?"
Ally sat on the bed as Pike gathered his supplies for the shower. Looking to the two of them, I firmly state my plans, "Nah, Kyle is taking me out somewhere for dinner. We might go later but it depends on how the night goes." I add a little twinkle to my eyes on the last part, a little wish and hope to amuse them.
Ally looked up to Pike then towards me as a hint of worry flashed across her face. Given the last time we hung out we got attacked, their concern for my safety was still evident. Clearing her voice, Ally said in the most motherly tone possible, "Just be careful out there ok Chris? And if you do, you know... do something afterwards, please let us know." It was almost comical watching her try to skirt around the possibility of sex, especially without directly saying it.
"Yea Ally, I'll be fine. And if something does `happen'," I make the quotes around the word to show my amusement, "I will let you know." Putting on my clothes, I do a last minute precheck before heading out. It wasn't much but given the resources, it was the best I could do. My hair was still a little damp, which was causing the puffiness of it to sag down a little. My normally dark curls looked almost like a wet mop on my head.
Heading down the elevator, I knew I was a little early but that was my habit. I was hoping that I could surprise him by being there before him, as well as possibly add a little guilt factor to the night by making him think that I was waiting a while. With a slight smirk on my face as I thought it over, I checked myself out in the mirror, running my hands through my slowly drying hair and trying to make sure that my shirt was as unwrinkled as possible.
With the ding of the doors, I strolled out to the lobby, taking in the fixtures of the furniture and looking for a secluded spot to hide in. Near the middle of the room though, Kyle sat there fiddling with his phone, his attention diverted from my presence. Grumbling that he had beaten me to the punch, I altered tactics and tried to sneak behind him to surprise him. It was futile though as he managed to catch me out of the side of his vision, my slinking a bit obvious in the near empty room.
He looked stunning as he rose from the chair. It was amazing how he managed to have created a great mixture of clothes, a long sleeve black v-neck t-shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, some faded black pants with dull white spots on the knee cap areas and black and white Chuck Taylor's to finish it off. Some might have considered his attire to be a little Goth but he made it flow, his blond hair falling to the side as he rose from the seat.
His blue eyes seemed to twinkle with delight as he admired me, the glancing of him checking me out slowly making me blush. Almost at the same time we seem to blurt out, "You look stunning." It was childish but romantic in the same manner, a hopeful sign to the start of a great night.
Standing there blushing at each other, the silence slowly began to take over the situation, adding an eerie montage. If someone were to pass by us right now and look at us, it would almost look as if we were stuck in time, neither of us moving from our spot. Kyle broke out first, taking my hand to lead me towards the door.
The feel of his fingers sliding between mine sent a tingle of warmth down my spine. The pull of him on my body was like a renewed sense of belonging, someone actually pining for me in a way that I enjoyed. Entering to the beach walk, Kyle spun me around and surprised me with a nice plant of his lips to mine.
Caught by surprise, my eyes went wide, my arms stiffening down to my sides. Regaining feeling of my limbs, I move my hands up to his shoulders and gently push him off. "Slow down tiger. I have missed you too but wow. That was a bit of a surprise." The taste of his lips lingered on mine, the hanging on of his scent almost wanting me to reengage the kiss.
Kyle twinkled his eyes at me, a knowing smile on his face. "I'm sorry but I wanted to surprise you." He shrugged his shoulders as he put his hands in his pockets and turned to walk down the strip.
`Great way to make me feel a little guilty Kyle,' I muse to myself as I stroll up to him. "So where are you dragging me tonight?"
Kyle smiled at me under the glowing moon, the nightlights starting to radiate from the setting sun. "That's a surprise. If I were to ruin it you would complain." I make a mock face and punch him playfully in the shoulder.
It took about a half hour to walk to the food joint, the two of us talking about our games during the mean time. Any talk of our previous lives were shut out, neither of us daring to bring it up. The diner looked to be a small sea food eatery, the smell of something fishy hanging around the premises.
Entering in, everything changed. I had expected it to be just as ragtag as the outside, but instead of fishnets and oars hanging loosely from the ceiling, it was as if we entered into an antique ship, the windows on the sides of the shop the old portholes that would be found on trailers. The lighting was powered by electric candles, a dim lull suspended over the tables. On the tables, actual candles flickered left and right, their burning flames spitting out puffs of smoke now and then.
I was quite surprised that Kyle knew about this place as it is one that I would have never have found on my own. "What is all this?" I stutter out as I take it all in. The overwhelming display had definitely caught me off guard.
Kyle took my hands and led me to an open table. I was looking around for other patrons but for some reason the place was empty. "I know the owner and managed to get it to be closed for an hour. He is in the back training the crew on the spring menu." Sitting me down in the middle of the room, I looked around confused.
Feeling the red and white checkerboard tablecloth, my senses start to slowly come to. "This is more than just knowing a friend Kyle. What's going on?" Everything seemed too perfect for what was going on.
Kyle sat down himself and looked at me, his eyes slightly tearing. "Let this be the first step towards correcting our problems." I gasped slightly as it hit me that he was doing all this for me.
Widening my eyes, I blinked to try and believe it, as if this was a dream. "Kyle you didn't need to do all this for me." Before he could respond, the owner came over and interrupted us, asking if we wanted anything special to drink. I could tell that he knew the owner personally, their banter back and forth too cohesive to be forced.
After ordering our food, Kyle looked at me, "I've missed you." The passion in his eyes burned like an intense fire, consuming the entire contents of his soul.
Trying to be the reasonable one in the situation, I took a drink of water and glanced at him, simmering my eyes into his. "It hasn't been that long. What, maybe four days at most?"
Kyle lifted his towel and placed it on the table, "But Chris, you don't realize it. It has been a long time. It's been four months. More than that actually." His expression was pained, the concern predestined for me.
Oh. We were talking about this. Us. Swallowing hard, I flick my eyes back and forth from him to the walls, as if they were going to give me the answers I needed in a time like this. Kyle continued, "This is the first date that we have actually ever been on. One that is meant to be romantic."
With a lump in my stomach, I started to venture into the relationship territory. "If we want this to work, how? Cause Kyle, I want to trust you but you hurt me." I wanted to focus on the new Kyle but the old one still remained in my mind.
Kyle's focus drifted to the mistake he committed, a sense of dismay and apprehension dampening the mood. "Like you said, we need to talk. Take it slow. I want you to trust me Chris."
Facing our dinner that was emerging from the kitchen, our conversation changed to the smell of the delectable items being placed before us. I had ordered the halibut, Kyle a platter of variations of shrimp. The food was top notch and I took a mental note of the location as we left, making sure that I wanted to come back.
Moving back to the hotel, a good majority of our walk was silent. They say that it is the small things that count, and when Kyle held my hand, that was a point for him. Entering my hallway to my room, Kyle seemed more than gracious to escort me to my door. Slightly opening the door, I turn around and start to thank him for the night. "This was nice. Thank you Kyle."
He stood there like a little dog wanting to come inside. I really wanted to have him come in as well but it was not the time. Even though it was still early in the night, around 9:30, we both didn't want things to progress to fast. "Thank YOU Chris." He said in reply, wrapping his hands behind his back. Leaning against the wall, he stood there watching me.
Moving up to him, I gave him a hug and held him tight. His hands came out from behind him and grabbed me firm, the clenching of his fingers starting to dig into my back. Leaning back, I focus on his face and peer into his gaze, his mesmerizing eyes captivating me. Kissing him gently on the lips, this time catching him off guard, I murmur to him, "You know, Michael did warn me to be careful with you."
Kyle, still holding me taut, smiled playfully, "Oh, did he?" He seemed at ease with the threat though, fully aware of Michael's warning to him.
Pressing off of him, I step back. Kyle, at the same time, releases me from his grip. We both knew what was going on but we didn't want to say it. We were starting to move to fast. Turning around, I entered into my room and, looking back at him while I close the door, whisper out to him, "Goodnight." The room was empty behind me, all lights off and devoid of life.
With the latching of the door, the bittersweet taste of the night set in. It was a great start to a new beginning, and hopefully, something more. Moving over to my bed, I lie down and look up at the ceiling, thinking it all over. Talking out to myself, I try to say what my mind already knew, "This was for the best."
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It's been a while since I have written a chapter this long but it felt great to flow the way it did. I hope you all enjoyed it as well and I look forward to hearing from you.
Also even though the semester is wrapping up (abet slowly) I am starting to draft Chris's sophomore year. If there is any suggestions of topics you think should be covered (I have a few ideas already in mind) let me know.