To Thine Own Self Be True

This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. Shakespeare (Hamlet)

Thanks to Chael for assistance proofing the story. This is wholly fictional with no reference intended to persons alive or dead.

Please do not distribute to other sites without permission of the author. Comments can be sent to firehosejoe@yahoo.com

The year is 1971. The occasion is Alex' 25th birthday. The bit of conversation is with Zach Bertrand. Zach's background and brief family history follow. Though absent from this chapter, Alex's sexual escapades and wrestling will continue in future chapters. Good reading!

From the previous chapter:

"My pleasure, Bud. You know, taking a page out of your playbook and leasing the plane was the smartest idea I've ever stolen. Makes trips like this from the coast so easy. So when are you going to come back to the Bay Area? That last visit was just too short. We packed a lot into it. I hated to see you go!"

"By the way, have you kept up your wrestling? That was one hot match at the club. I want to see your bod in action again." Zach sank his hand in his trouser pocket and fondled his swelling member as he grinned at Alejandro.

Alejandro looked down and smiled. Zach was such a cock tease. He knew Zach was, at the moment, just messing with his mind; but given half a chance would have taken the action inside to the bed.

Chapter 26

The fact that Zach referred to his San Francisco as Frisco' seemed a bit cowboy' to Alejandro. Zach was given to affectations occasionally – given to them in a way that added to his appeal and zest for living.

They both served on a museum board in San Francisco and had quickly became friends. For a `rich boy', Zach could be disarmingly down to earth. Alejandro liked that. Zach Bertrand was the model of an easy-going personality. He had an artlessness with people that Alejandro envied.

Zach's family fortune was founded on the gold rush of 1848. Legend had it that his forebear had come from New England, via Cape Horn bringing with him a flour mill, along with products to stock a dry goods store. While in transit, news of the gold rush broke.

Learning of the rush when he landed, his ancestor set up his first store near Sutter's Mill. His ancestor had seen that the true mother lode came from the ever-swelling population in search of the magic metal. Scraping together capital, he expanded his ventures to a small town called Yerba Buena, a coastal encampment that was to become San Francisco.

Knowing the appetites of the newly minted men of fortune, he built brothels and saloons, along with legitimate businesses that provided for the needs of the miners. For those new arrivals, he provided all a miner needed, save luck with the sluice and pan. For those returning with the yellow metal, a hot bath, good food, `companionship' and a clean bed were availableat a price.

Within a few years, he was one of the first millionaires in the Bay Area. That fortune had since been parlayed countless times as California had grown. As with many families, there were the occasional wastrels who squandered their portions, but the bulk had been preserved, reinvested and leveraged in the development and politics of the new state.

Zach's father had a knack for development and had been, for years, one of the movers and shakers in the expansion of the San Francisco Bay Area. His influence and financial reach were vast. He was a man of enormous ego and matching appetites. His marriage to a beautiful socialite was more for decoration and connections than anything else. Neither had wanted the inconvenience of children.

Zach's arrival, late in their lives, proved to be of little consequence to their daily lives. Reared primarily by his nanny, with the supporting cast of family servants, he could have turned out like many of his acquaintances - a self-serving, petulant rich boy. However, the formative magic in his life came from his close association with his nanny and her husband.

Zach was naturally inquisitive, graceful, and athletic. Handsome and well liked by most of his peers, he thrived at his private school. Intelligent and intuitive, he soon learned to please his parents with his own version of being seen and not heard. At dinner, when he was deemed old enough to join his parents at table, his deportment was nearly flawless. Maria, his nanny, had schooled him carefully.

He made a game of name-dropping and quickly learned which of his friends' families were on his mother's `A' list socially. More importantly, he quickly learned to read his father's expressions of approval and disapproval. However, his father's appraisals never fazed Zach nor changed his opinions and interactions with friends.

His mother and father, nominal Catholics at best, were glad to have Maria and her husband, Juan, take young Zachary with them to church. At their knees, he learned the rubrics of the Mass, the basic tenants of the faith and saw the true application of Christian charity practiced in their poor parish. Though he attended St. Mary's Cathedral with his parents on Christmas and Easter, his spiritual home was at the Chapel of Our Lady.

As Zach matured, he realized he'd have neither his father's flair and passion to develop businesses and build buildings nor a desire to be a political mover and shaker. Instead, he turned his attention to money management. After finishing his MBA at Wharton, he came home, and with his father's blessing (and sigh of relief) began to work with the family foundation.

The conservative posture of the investment analysts had led to laziness in their management of the fund. Of course, that was only Zach's opinion. As long as the monthly reports and year-end statements were showing profit, Zach's father was satisfied. Zach, however, saw much greater potential for growth.

With his father's permission easily gained, if just to have his son happily occupied and using his expensive education, Zach began to manage some of the investments. Soon his limited portfolio was showing significant returns.

This proved a satisfactory filler for his time, ambition and intellect but only accentuated the other unfulfilled areas of his life. Zach, weary of providing his own relief, began tentatively to explore the rich homosexual opportunities available in San Francisco.

Imprinted in his imagination was his ideal of a man. A rowdy college roommate had initiated him to the pleasures of man sex as they had rolled and wrestled in their apartment. Unconsciously, Zach searched out men who might fill that need. Experience soon taught him that most men who enjoyed that contest for dominance wanted to fulfill their own needs in ways that Zach couldn't bring himself to accommodate.

Zach looked to Alejandro as a friend and perhaps more. Their interactions, their sex, their compatibility promised hope that something might develop. If he honestly faced his intention and need, Zach realized in quiet moments of introspection that what he most deeply wanted was a lasting relationship with another man. He knew the Church would frown on it, not to mention his family. He'd cross those bridges when the time came.

When He looked at Alejandro he felt a connection. No, he felt a longing both in his heart and a pressing sexual need to be with this man. He didn't know what their future would hold. He was almost afraid to hope that it might become a relationship but he was willing to take the chance.