Two friends, inseparable friends, share something very special between them. Call it deep friendship, call it love, the end result is the same. Life paints a rosy picture for their relationship until fate steps in, a very cruel fate which will separate them forever. Is it true what is said, does true love never die?
Chapter 1 -- The Good Times and the Diagnosis
He was gone now, only cherished memories of their relationship remained, memories which would live forever in Daniel's heart and mind. Daniel was now nineteen, and employed full time within the Information Technology branch of a large retail outlet. He worked hard at his job and was well respected by his employer, his keen knowledge of his work having other staff frequently asking questions. Over the last twelve months however, he had become quieter, almost introvert, the sadness within him seemingly deepening as time passed. Daniel knew, deep within himself, he would always feel this way, his loss was something almost too horrific for him to grasp, and he knew the thoughts and memories of his relationship with Shannon would remain with him forever, until they were together again in the next life.
Their friendship had started four years previously, when they were both fifteen, both meeting at after-school sport in the sports pavilion. Shannon was the new boy at school, and Daniel was determined to befriend him and assist him through the difficult times of the first few weeks. Their first meeting went seamlessly, Shannon having an outgoing, friendly nature, and within a few weeks, they were almost inseparable, both sharing the same group of friends at their school, both sharing a distinct fondness for football and swimming.
Shannon was of average height for his age with a strong, but slim build, almost an exact mirror of Daniel. From a distance, they could have easily been mistaken for twins, except Daniel had dark hair, and Shannon blonde. Their peers at school, referred to them as "him and him," for they were never far apart from each other. Both of them enjoyed the friendship and respect of their peers, as friends firstly, and as fierce opponents when on opposing teams during football matches.
Their relationship had started not long after their first meeting, Daniel having started the ball rolling by asking Shannon to spend a weekend with him at home. The invitation had been snapped up, Shannon quick to accept. It had gone from there, their friendship blossoming into something more than special. Daniel knew there was an attraction to Shannon at the back of his mind, but in the early stage, didn't really understand it. He had his girlfriend, someone he was close to, but nothing had as yet happened between them, and as far as Daniel was concerned it never would, they were just good friends. When Shannon came along, something snapped within Daniel, it was as if his being had been reborn. He had feelings he'd never before experienced, thoughts he'd never before had. This was another guy, why were his thoughts and feelings for him so intense?
Shannon also could not, at this stage, fathom his reasoning. Sure Daniel was a handsome guy, slim and athletic, but what were these strange sensations he got within him when they were together? Finally the matter came to a head one weekend.
The two were camping for the weekend. Their first night had been spent under the stars, chatting endlessly about whatever came to mind, both happy to be in the other's company. They hit their sleeping bags fairly early, both wishing to be fully refreshed for the following day. It was during the following day that it happened, something neither was expecting or contemplating. They were both taking a break from their hike, enjoying a mid morning coffee, when Shannon turned to Daniel.
"This is good," he said, "fine weather and good company. What more could we want?"
As Daniel turned to reply, his eyes locked to Shannon's, seeing something hitherto unrealised within them. Shannon saw the same within Daniel's eyes, the realisation finally hitting home for both; a simple explanation of their thoughts and feelings. Daniel's first thought was `this isn't right,' but after analysis, it was him who made the first move, leaning in towards Shannon.
Shannon also found himself inexplicably drawn to Daniel, placing a hand on his shoulder as their faces closed the distance between them. Their lips brushed then pulled apart, each still unsure where this was leading. Shannon's hand was still on Daniel's shoulder, each was gazing into the other's smouldering eyes until their thoughts were clear, and their lips met again. Daniel threw an arm around Shannon's neck, holding him as if he would never let him go, kissing him with a passion as yet unrealised. Shannon returned the passion willingly, his tongue entwined with Daniel's, his arm around his friend tightly, hoping this would last for ever. How long they stayed that way is anyone's guess, it could have been seconds, it could have been minutes, but when they finally pulled apart, there was a new definition on their friendship. Their eyes remained locked for several minutes.
"Whew, I guess that explains it all." Daniel was the first to speak.
Shannon was silent for several moments, his mind still attempting to grasp what had just happened. Finally. "Yeah Danny, it does, everything is suddenly just that much clearer."
Their relationship went from there. Nothing sexual was to happen for several months, in fact until Shannon's sixteenth birthday, the day Daniel told Shannon of his love for him. Daniel was at Shannon's house for the big day. Being a weekend, he'd been invited to stay, both Shannon's parents realising how close they were. He had left his gift until the evening, until the mid-day jollities, barbecue etc. were out of the way. They'd both gone to Shannon's room, where Daniel had nervously presented him with the gift; a gold cygnet ring, with onyx centre and a small but dazzling centre diamond. Under the onyx centre was the inscription, `Shannon, you are my world." Shannon's eyes were locked to the inscription, and Daniel was astounded to see tears fill his bottom eyelids. He looked up at Daniel as the first large drop ran down his cheek. "You're mine as well Danny."
Daniel opened his arms and Shannon fell into them, his head on Daniel's shoulder, his arms tightly about him.
"I love you Shan," Daniel said, "I love you with my very being."
Shannon did not reply, it was still dawning on him what Daniel had said. All those past months of wondering were now at an end, and Shannon realised his sensations and thoughts had been correct; Danny truly loved him. He drew back and gazed into Daniel's eyes.
"Where to from here Danny?" he asked.
Daniel's eyes indicated the bed. "I guess it's a natural progression Shan, something that's going to happen whether we want it to or not. I don't know how and I don't know why, but for some reason this was meant to happen. Are you cool with that?"
Shannon looked at his watch, 10:45pm, definitely not too early for bed. "Yeah Danny, I'm cool with that."
After good nights to Shannon's folks, the two made their way back to Shannon's room. Words cannot describe the happenings of that night. The first penetration was painful for Shannon, but as time passed, he knew he'd never felt more pleasure than he was now experiencing. Him on his back, his knees pulled up, his hands bunching the sheets, his head lolling from side to side as his guy made the most perfect love to him imaginable. All too soon, it was ended, and they lay as one, totally exhausted.
Throughout the following months, it was something that was to happen many times, something they both enjoyed to the full, and something totally unsuspected by their peers. Shannon's first time with Daniel was at his sixteenth birthday, three weeks after Shannon's, and was almost a mirror image of Daniel's first time. When they were concluded, both knew nothing could tear them apart, ever.
During the long winter months, it was amazing what the two invented to keep each other warm at night. Perhaps I didn't mention that now, one was always at the others house at the weekends, usually taking it turn and turn about. Their love for each other deepened until, if one was seen without the other, deep concern was felt. None of their peers, even now suspected anything was happening between the two, thinking them just to be good, inseparable friends. Of course there were the usual taunts from the perhaps less well educated students at school, but these were quickly and decisively sorted out by their peers. No-one called Daniel or Shannon queers, or very swift justice prevailed, very quickly.
It was now spring, long warm days when the swim team could practice. Shannon had appeared tired for the last few weeks, nothing anyone could point a finger at but he looked tired. He admitted to Daniel one day that he seemed to have no energy in reserve, after he gave his all to the swim team, there was nothing left. After several weeks, Daniel suggested he visit his doctor, a suggestion which was solidly put down by Shannon.
"I don't need a doctor," he told Daniel, "as long as I've got you, I'm the healthiest guy around."
Daniels eyes bored into Shannon's. "Look Shan, you haven't been well for several weeks now, even I can tell that and I ain't no doctor. Why don't you go and see him, just to put both our minds to rest?"
The matter came to a head during a swim meet. Shannon was walking along the concourse at the side of the pool, when for no apparent reason, his legs collapsed under him. Daniel rushed to him, fearful he may have injured himself. He found Shannon somewhat annoyed.
"I tripped," Shannon said, "I caught my foot on something."
Daniel looked over the concourse, seeing nothing for anyone to trip over. He looked back to Shannon. "You didn't trip Shan, there's nothing to trip on." A sudden dread filled his mind. "You got to see the doc man, you're not well. You know that and I know that."
Shannon returned Daniel's direct look with an amused gaze. "I'm OK Danny, I tripped, I told you that."
Over the next few weeks, Daniel kept on at Shannon to see his doctor. Shannon still looked tired, and on several occasions Daniel noticed his balance wavering; once on the starting block of the pool. Shannon climbed onto the block as normal, but from there on things became far from normal. He visibly swayed from side to side before losing his balance completely and falling headlong into the pool. Daniel and his trainer rushed to the pool, and Shannon was pulled from the water and taken to the benches. The trainer was the first to speak, asking rapid fire questions, culminating in Shannon finally agreeing to see his doctor.
"You worry too much Danny," he said later. "Look, I'll go to the doc, just to keep you quiet, but he'll find nothing wrong, I'm fine, you wait and see."
Two days later, Shannon kept his appointment, just as he'd promised Daniel and the trainer. The doctor gave him a thorough overhaul, took a detailed history of his apparent tiredness and balance problems, and sent blood tests away for analysis. Nothing more could be done until the results of these tests were known. At the start of the following week, Shannon was summoned to the doctor's surgery, even though his appointment was not for another three days. Strange, Shannon thought, maybe they've found something.
On entering the surgery, the doctor told Shannon to take a seat. "I've got the results of your tests back Shannon, and I want to go to hospital on Wednesday for further analysis. You'll only be in there for a day while they run some tests."
Shannon was mortified, the swim carnival was on that day and he certainly didn't want to miss that. "I can't go then doc," he explained, "that's the day of the swim carnival and they're counting on me."
The doctor fixed him with a concerned gaze. "It's not a case of maybe Shannon, it's a case of you will be there for these tests, they're vitally important."
For the first time in his life, a chill of fear crept up Shannon's spine. "They've found something wrong, haven't they doc?"
The doctor's eyes dropped to his desk before he lifted them again to Shannon's. "The tests indicate you may have a disorder known as MND or Motor Neuron Disease, but we've got to make sure, there can't be any guesswork in the diagnosis, it would be too dangerous."
"Dangerous!" Shannon almost shouted the word. "What are you saying doc?"
"I can't say anything until I get the results of the tests I'm going to send you for Shannon," the doctor said, "there's no way I want to alarm you un-necessarily. Once we get the test results, we can get you back in here to discuss the prognosis. I'm hoping to get the results by Friday, but you have to promise me you'll go to the hospital. Do I have your assurance?"
Shannon sat in the chair staring at the doctor, feeling almost numb. "What if it is this MND doc, what then?"
"I can't say anything until I'm sure," the doctor said. "Like I said, I don't want to alar..."
"Let's skip the bullshit doc," Shannon cut in, amazed he'd actually said that to the doctor. "What if it is MND?"
The doctor looked directly at Shannon. "I'm sorry Shannon, if it is, there's no known cure and the disease will run its course. Now please, don't worry at this stage, the results we have at present are only preliminary, they may well turn out to be incorrect."
Shannon relaxed somewhat. "OK, I'll be at the hospital on Wednesday, but I've got to have a certificate explaining where I'll be, or the coach will kill me."
The doctor smiled, reaching for his pad of certificates. "I think I can help you there. Now please Shannon, don't worry un-necessarily. I'm hoping the preliminary tests are incorrect, and that the full tests will confirm this."
Shannon stood holding out his hand. "Thanks doc, I hope so too. Sorry I swore at you earlier."
The doctor smiled again, shaking the offered hand. "If you think we doctors have never heard bad language, think again. It's a part of life Shannon."
Shannon was ushered from the surgery, finding Daniel in the waiting room. "What are you doing here?" he asked, "didn't you trust me?"
Daniel grinned. "Nah, just thought I'd help you home in case you lost your balance again."
"Very funny," Shannon replied, winking at the receptionist, "and you call yourself a friend."
Shannon duly entered hospital at 8am Wednesday morning. A battery of tests was conducted on him during the day, the final one, a spinal tap, being the most unpleasant. By the end of the tests, he was completely exhausted, and was pleased when his folks appeared at the ward door.
Daniel was at home when they arrived, looking after his younger brother, Shaun. Shannon excused himself and made his way to his room, with Daniel. Daniel was a virtual encyclopaedia of questions, what happened, did they do anything to hurt you, do you know anything yet, what were all the tests for? The question went on and on, Daniel not knowing anything as Shannon had not told him about the preliminary tests. Shannon's description of the spinal tap left Daniel feeling sick.
"Jeez man," Daniel said, "there's no way they'd do that to me without a very large protest."
"Ah well," Shannon said, "come Friday, we'll know if there's anything wrong or not. Take it from me here and now, there won't be, so get yourself ready for me to crush your skull for putting me through that for nothing."
Daniel slowly pushed in the lock button on Shannon's door. "There is something I'd like to take from you here and now, and I think you know what it is."
The next half hour, saw Daniel on his back, his knees pulled up, his hands bunching the doona, his head lolling from side to side as Shannon made his sweet love to him.
Thursday afternoon, when he arrived home from school, Shannon found his folks anxiously awaiting his arrival.
"We've got to get you to the doctors surgery Shannon," his mother said. "He's called for an urgent appointment."
Again the chill of fear crept up Shannon's spine but he dismissed it; the doctor only wanted to tell him nothing was wrong after all.
The three made their way to the surgery, leaving Shannon's younger brother at home awaiting Daniel's possible arrival. On their arrival, just one look at the doctors face was all Shannon needed to tell him all was not right. The doctor ushered them to chairs, and sat behind his desk.
"I have the results of the tests before me," the doctor began, "and unfortunately they are not good. Shannon, you do have what we discussed on Monday, MND, and the tests reveal it is well advanced."
Shannon sat as if turned to stone, but his folks were all questions. What was MND, what was happening to their son, how long would he take to recover? All the questions were taken in by the doctor and answered by way of explanation.
"MND or Motor Neuron Disease, is the destruction of the cells within the brain that control voluntary muscle activity, such as speech, walking and breathing and so-on. Characteristic symptoms include gradual weakening of the muscles, tiredness, loss of balance, wasting away and involuntary twitching of the muscles as the disease progresses. These symptoms become more and more severe until the patient has to have assistance breathing." The doctor ceased, to allow the family to digest what he had said.
"As for your question of when will Shannon recover," the doctor continued, "he will not recover. Once the disease has started, there is no recovery, science has not as yet found a way to reverse the disorder."
Now it was Shannon's folks who sat as if turned to stone. "What will happen to him doctor?" his mother asked.
The doctors eyes dropped to his desk before he raised them again to the group before him. "The tests indicate the disease is well advanced, it is rather surprising Shannon hasn't shown more symptoms than he has. However, you have asked the question, and it is my duty to tell you the disease will progress to a stage where Shannon is unable to breath on his own, and if nothing is done to alleviate this, he will literally asphyxiate. As I have told you, there is nothing we can do, only offer comfort and assistance when the symptoms become difficult."
Now it was Shannon's turn. He looked from his mother to his father before returning his gaze to the doctor. "Are you saying this thing's going to kill me doc?"
The doctor studied Shannon for some time before replying. "Yes Shannon, it will."
Shannon's mother clung to the arm of her husband, her expression shocked beyond belief, tears running down her cheeks. His father sat poker faced, attempting to digest the shocking diagnosis. This couldn't be, there had to be a mistake, Shannon was only sixteen years old, and now he'd been told the disease he had would kill him. There had to be another explanation.
"So how long?" Shannon queried.
Again the doctor dropped his eyes to his desk. "There is no way of accurately telling that Shannon, it could be six months, it could be six years. Your disease is well advanced so it coul..."
"How fuckin' long?" Shannon almost shouted the question, feeling his eyes filling with tears.
His mother turned to him sternly, then thought better of it. She knew well what the news was doing to her son.
"Considering the advanced state of the disease," the doctor gave a direct answer, "I would say you have between twelve and twenty-four months, certainly no longer."
Twelve to twenty four months. Well, given the circumstances, Shannon thought, that really wasn't too bad. He had imagined maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months, but one to two years seemed reasonable, he should be able to get the things he wanted to do done in that time. "Will I still be able to compete with the swim team doc?" he asked.
"As long as you feel you are able," the doctor replied, "you can do so. You will know within yourself when it is no longer an option, your body will tell you that competition is no longer possible. But until that happens, yes, compete by all means, it will be good for you."
Shannon turned to his mother and father, noticing without difficulty the shocked and strained expression on both their faces. "Please listen to me mum and dad, there's no way you can say anything of this to either Daniel or Shaun, it wouldn't be fair to them, and it wouldn't be fair to me. I'll tell Daniel in my own good time, and you can find the right time to tell Shaun, but right now, it's got to remain a secret between us. OK?"
Shannon's mother and father just nodded their heads. Their eldest son had just been given a death sentence and he didn't want to concern anyone else with his problem, especially his close friend and his brother. What kind of person can receive such news and not want to bother anyone else with it? They both knew Shannon was living up to his reputation of complete selflessness. The family rose from their chairs as did the doctor, who ushered them from his surgery, giving the parents an encouraging pat on the shoulder.
"I'm sorry Shannon," he said quietly, "I wish it had been better news, but you know I'm always here if you need to discuss anything, anything at all."
Shannon smiled his acknowledgement.
It was to take another month before Shannon told Daniel of the news. Together one evening in Shannon's room, he told Daniel there was something he had to explain, something which was going to happen whether either of them liked it or not. He told Daniel the full story, from the battery of tests to the diagnosis by his doctor, and also the prognosis; the likelihood he wouldn't be around within two years. He saw the tears well in Daniels eyes as he digested the news.
"This can't be right," Daniel said, his voice verging on tears, "this can't be happening to you. How long have you known?"
That was a question Shannon hadn't expected, but he decided to tell the truth. "I've known since we all had to visit the doc's surgery, about a month ago," he said. "I'm sorry Danny, but I didn't want you worrying over something you can't control, there's nothing anyone can do to change the way things are."
Daniel felt a surge of anger, but let it pass. "I wish you'd told me sooner Shan, but then again, I guess that's you, you don't want anyone worrying. You know I'll be with you all the way, don't you? and I mean all the way"
Shannon grinned. "I should hope you will be. The only people who mean more to me than you, are in the lounge right now, trying to get their minds sorted. I love them as my folks and my brother, but I love you because it's you; you're my world Danny."
Daniel suddenly took him in his arms, holding him as if he never wanted to let him go. "You're mine too Shan, I love you more than words can ever express, and no matter what happens to you, I know we'll be together in the future, no matter how long it takes."
Daniel guided Shannon to the bed, pushing him gently on it, then lying beside him and holding him tightly. "Nothing can separate us Shan, nothing, not even that." He lay beside his lover as his emotions finally overcame him, burying his face in Shannon's shoulder and weeping as if his heart would break.
Chapter 2 -- The Downhill Slide
From that night, Daniel steeled himself for the road ahead. There were no more tears, they could come later, he didn't want Shannon thinking he was crying just because he was going to lose him. Even though that was the case, he knew Shannon didn't want anyone feeling sorry for him. He still had up to two years left, and together they were going to make the most of that time.
Swimming was high on Shannon's agenda, and throughout the Summer months, and early autumn, he swam with a strength hitherto unrealised. Even though, on many occasions, he felt weak within himself, he gave every meet one hundred percent; his collection of trophies at the end of the season, having him stand tall amongst his peers.
No-one save Daniel, his folks and younger brother, knew of what Shannon was facing. He had made it very clear, shortly after the diagnosis, that no-one was to know, even his closer friends. He was going to see this thing through, and even though his doctor had delivered a virtual death sentence, he was going to do his utmost to beat it. He stayed away from internet sites which contained information of his condition, thinking correctly it would be depressing to read what he had already been told. He wanted to live his remaining time the way he wanted, totally wrapped up in his beloved sport, even though he knew well it may be a short lived dream.
The first real crash came in late June. Shannon was at school, ready to take to the football field when his legs literally collapsed. He tried to regain his stature, but to no avail, his legs would not support him. He lay at the edge of the sports oval, anger seething within him, watching as his team mates came to his assistance. The coach was the first to arrive, concern written on his face as he saw Shannon's plight.
"What's up lad?" he asked.
"Dunno coach," Shannon lied, "my legs just seemed to give out."
The coach remembered Shannon's so called tripping and loss of balance at the pool, the recollection perfectly clear. "Have you seen your doctor young fella, this isn't the first time you've had problems, is it?"
"Yeah, I've seen him coach," Shannon replied. "I'm OK, just a balance problem, should have it fixed in no time flat."
The coach eyed him with genuine concern. "OK Shannon, if that's the way you want it." He could see in Shannon's face there was something he was not saying. "You'll have to stay on the benches for this game, you can watch from there."
Shannon struggled to get to his feet but his legs still wouldn't work properly and he had to be half carried to the benches.
The coach eyed him again. "Is there anything you want to tell me Shannon, anything at all?"
"Nah coach," Shannon replied, "I'm fine. Don't worry, I'll be back on the field next week, promise."
The coach left it at that, walking back to the rest of the team, but there were thought processes happening in his mind and he was not happy with what they were saying. Shannon sat on the benches furious with himself. Why did that have to happen now, of all times? He rested against the benches massaging his legs, feeling the strength slowly returning. He knew this meant he would have to return to the doctor, maybe to get some drugs of some sort to relieve what had happened. He saw Daniel walking towards the pavilion. Now this could mean trouble.
"How come you're not playing?" Daniel asked.
"My legs gave out as I was walking out," Shannon replied. "I think the coach suspects something Danny. He mustn't find out, there's no way he can find out."
Daniel helped Shannon to his feet. He was still weak in the legs, but at least they worked now. "Come on, I'll help you back to school. Mum's meeting me so she can run you home, and I'll stay with you until your folks get home."
"I knew there was a reason I loved you so much," Shannon said, meaning every word.
The following day, he saw his doctor. The doctor examined Shannon again and prescribed a drug, telling him the correct time it was to be taken. "This is a powerful drug Shannon, and it has to be taken correctly. The first one will knock you cold, so I'll give you a certificate for your school for tomorrow. After that, you take one every evening at 7pm precisely, there must be no deviation from the dose. Do you understand that?"
"Yes doc, understood," Shannon replied.
The doctor smiled. "You will find out tomorrow morning what I mean about powerful Shannon, you're going to feel like a zombie for the whole day. Once you've taken the second one, your system will be used to it, and you'll wake the following morning feeling as fresh as a daisy. I have to tell you though, this will only be temporary. As your disease advances, you will find you'll require more powerful medication to keep you going, but don't worry about that now. The day after tomorrow, you'll think you've been reborn, believe me."
Shannon left the surgery feeling far happier. There were a few strange looks from the Chemist staff when his prescription was filled, and Shannon knew within himself they knew exactly what the drug was for. That didn't matter however, he was looking forward to the day after tomorrow.
The following morning, when he awoke, Shannon didn't know where he was, or even if he was alive. It was as if he was behind a clear plastic screen which he could see through but could not penetrate bodily. Nothing seemed to be real, his room looked different and he didn't recognise his mother when she brought him his breakfast. His brother Shaun came into his room to say goodbye before he went to school, and Shannon didn't recognise him, only able to offer "Ughhh" as a reply to his greeting.
As the day wore on, the effects of the drug began to diminish, and when Daniel arrived after school, he was semi back to his normal self. His speech was still affected though, and a lot of what he slurred didn't make sense, but Daniel understood; Shannon had pre-warned him of the effects.
The following morning, Shannon did not believe the difference. The events of the previous day were gone, no memory whatever remained of his almost comatose state. For the first time in a long time, he felt as if the world was his oyster, it was all out there waiting for him, and he wasn't going to waste a minute. He half ran to the dining room, where his mother had his breakfast waiting.
"I feel a million dollars mum," he extolled, "I'm back to the normal me. I knew I could beat this thing."
His mother turned to the kitchen, tears in her eyes, but hiding them from Shannon. She knew this was only the beginning of the downhill slide for her son. It was good that he was feeling so refreshed though, he looked better than she had seen him look for many weeks, and she welcomed his enthusiasm.
Shannon played his beloved football with a vigour he'd not felt for many a long week, the coach both surprised and happy that Shannon was back to his old self. He appeared to have more zest for the game, seemed to possess an energy he hadn't shown before, and it was no surprise that at the end of the season, in September, he was named best and fairest for the team. His team mates roundly congratulated him on his achievement.
Things however began to go downhill from there. In the spring, eleven months after his initial diagnosis, Shannon noticed his hands had begun to shake. Not all the time, but certainly after he'd been playing sport. At first, he took no notice, thinking he'd perhaps overdone it, but when one day he found himself almost unable to hold a glass of water, he knew the time had come to re-visit his doctor.
Daniel was now staying full time at Shannon's house, an agreement having been reached between their respective folks. Even though Daniel's folks knew nothing of the activities between the two, when Daniel asked them if he could stay with Shannon, they began to suspect their closeness was more than just friendship. They said nothing of their thoughts to Daniel however, both of them considering if it was happening, then there was nothing either could do about it. It was their lives, and tragically, Shannon's was to be cut short. Daniel had told them of Shannon's diagnosis, swearing them to secrecy; not even Shannon's folks must know he'd told them. They respected his wishes.
Outwardly, it was difficult to tell Shannon was sick. He appeared bright and cheery, the drugs keeping him on a straight but narrow road. It was only when the boys returned home after sport, and Shannon threw himself on his bed in exhaustion, that Daniel could see things were not as they should be.
"Are you going to tell anyone else about this?" Daniel asked him one day.
"Shannon was silent for some moments. "I've been thinking Danny. When the time comes, and I'm not able to go to school, would you tell the class and the teachers what's happening?
"Is that what you want?" Daniel asked, perhaps a little surprised.
Shannon looked up at Daniel from his bed. "Yeah, I think they ought to know. I've been thinking about telling them myself, but I don't want them feeling sorry. I couldn't do it myself Danny, I reckon it would hurt them too much."
Daniel kneeled on the floor and held Shannon tightly. "It's always the others Shannon, isn't it. There's never any thought about yourself, just the others." Daniel's eyes were filling with tears at the thought of Shannon's complete selflessness. "Why don't you think about yourself for a change. You know I'll be here for you, always. I live here now anyway thanks to the generosity of your folks, and I'll be here until..." Finally the emotion of the situation overcame Daniel, and he buried his face in Shannon's shoulder, weeping.
"Stop that Danny or you'll have me going," Shannon said. "When that time comes and I can't get to school anymore, yes, I would appreciate you telling the class and teachers, I think they deserve to know." He sat up on the bed with some difficulty. "Now, I've got to make an appointment with the doc, I think I've been overdoing it a bit..." He thought his last comment through before lying back on the bed, "but not enough to deny you what you deserve," a wicked smile crossed his lips, "and what I think I need." He began undressing.
"Are you sure your up for..." Daniel began, then seeing the condition of his lover, "well, you're certainly up."
He pushed in the button on the door as Shannon threw all his clothing in an untidy pile on the floor, then lay back and lifted his knees. The next half an hour was ecstasy for both, Daniel entering him slowly and gently, making his exquisite love to his guy.
They were done. They lay as one, Daniel whispering his love for Shannon, Shannon reiterating. Many minutes they lay together, each realising the possibility that this may not last for much longer. Finally, Shannon kissed Daniel deeply, Daniel withdrew, and Shannon picked up his phone extension, ringing his doctor.
The appointment was the following day, the doctor conducting a full examination before requesting Shannon to get dressed. Shannon sat facing the doctor, noticing a perhaps puzzled expression on his face.
"Are you still taking the medication I prescribed Shannon?" he asked.
""Yep doc," Shannon replied, "exactly the same time every night, just like you said."
"You say your hands have started shaking?"
"Yeah, but only when I perhaps overdo it at sport," Shannon replied.
"That's to be expected," the doctor said. "I've made a full examination of you, and I can't see that the disease has got any worse. You are right about the shaking hands, it's a product of over exertion. I want you to stay on the medication until I see you again, I don't want to increase the dose un-necessarily. How are you feeling in yourself?"
"The same as when I started the tablets doc," Shannon replied, "apart from the first day that is." He grinned.
"So how did that go?" the doctor asked.
"I wish I could tell you," Shannon replied, "but the whole day is a complete blank."
The doctor smiled. "Just as I believe I predicted. I want you to stay on the medication Shannon, just like you've been taking it. I'm not going to go into the future right now, but I want to see you again in a month, or sooner if you get any further symptoms."
"Thanks doc, will do." Shannon left the surgery feeling happy within himself; maybe he could still lick this thing.
The following weeks were good for Shannon. He still got tired, but his self set goals were gradually becoming achieved. He now had a stack of trophies, and these were becoming more every week. Everything he had set himself so far, he had achieved. How long was it now? just over twelve months since the verdict, and even though he knew his tiredness was increasing, he still felt reasonably well within himself. He knew he had to keep taking his medication, that possibly being the only thing holding him together, but he was determined to win through, to achieve all the goals he had set for himself.
Finally, at the conclusion of the school year, he had achieved all his goals, and was as proud as punch when at the end of year ceremonies, he was awarded School Academic Achiever of the year, and School Sportsman of the year. He stood on the school stage facing his peers, hearing their thunderous applause, seeing their smiling faces and their fists raised in victory. He had done what he set out to do, and he could not have been prouder.
The following year was the final school year for both Shannon and Daniel; year twelve. It began well, Shannon still in control of things, but he knew within himself this could not just be the final year of school for him, but indeed his final year. He set himself a limited set of goals for the year, determined to achieve those he could manage. He knew he was definitely becoming more tired as the weeks progressed, his hands shook more frequently, even when he hadn't been involved with sport, and he knew he must soon face the doctor yet again. It was not just his hands shaking now, it was several parts of his body and his legs. Sometimes his legs shook so badly, he had difficulty standing, and on more than one occasion, they collapsed completely. He made an appointment with his doctor.
"The disease is progressing rapidly Shannon," his doctor explained, "I will have to increase the level of your medication, but doing this will require me to explain things to you."
Shannon listened intently.
"With the increased dose, you will not be able to return to your schooling," the doctor explained, "it would be too dangerous for you. Although it will appear you have improved balance, and the shaking will diminish, your body may collapse at any time, your legs unable to support you. Just imagine if this was to happen as you were crossing the road. I'm going to assign you a wheeled walking frame to use, it will improve your balance and make your life a lot easier. I'm sorry Shannon, I wish I could do more for you."
Well, Shannon thought, the time had finally arrived, the time he had been dreading, the time he could no longer attend his beloved school. He thought of his conversation with Daniel; maybe now was the time for him to tell the class and teachers. He left the doctors surgery with his frame, finding as the doctor had said, movement was far easier with its assistance. His father loaded it in the car, placed Shannon in the passengers seat and headed home. As expected, Daniel was awaiting their arrival, rather shocked as Shannon took the frame from the car.
"I think we'd better talk," Shannon said.
They went to their room, Shannon closing the door behind him. "I guess the time's arrived Danny, the doc doesn't want me going to school anymore. It's Friday tomorrow, could you do what we spoke of, you know, letting the class know?"
Daniel silently agreed.
The following day, Daniel went to the office, making a request to see the Principal. Although it was rather out of line, the office staff assisted him. Daniel stood before the Principal.
"How can I help you Daniel," the Principal began, "I don't see your name on my list of defaulters."
"I'd like your permission to address the year twelve students Sir," Daniel requested, "and the teachers. There's something very important I have to tell them."
"Would you like to let me in on this important thing?" the Principal asked.
"No Sir," Daniel continued, "but I want you there, as well as the Deputy."
The Principal eyed him for some time, seeing his genuine attitude. "OK Daniel, I'll make the arrangements for two o'clock this afternoon, will that suit?"
"Thank you Sir, that's perfect," Daniel replied. He left the office, ringing Shannon on his mobile. "It's arranged Shan, two o'clock this arvo. I'll let them all know then."
"Thanks Danny, I'll see you when you get home," Shannon replied.
Two o'clock that afternoon, the twelfth year students were assembled in the hall, Daniel standing on the stage, microphone in hand. The Principal, Deputy, teachers and students sat before him, all eager to learn what was happening; this sort of thing certainly didn't happen every day.
"I've requested your attendance here today as there is some news I have to tell you," Daniel began, "some very sad news. You've all seen Shannon of late, you all must have noticed he's not as well as he could be. He's asked me to tell you, he won't be back at school this year, and the reason for that is..."
All persons in the hall heard the double doors opening behind them, all turning to see Shannon, supported on his frame, walk slowly down the aisle towards the stage. His blonde hair shone in the powerful lights, giving him an almost angelic quality. He approached the stage and stood before his peers, turning to Daniel.
"Sorry Daniel, it wasn't fair of me to ask you to do this."
Daniel descended from the stage, handed him the microphone, then joined his peers. Shannon turned back to the teachers and students.
"You've heard what Daniel said, and yes, it's true, I won't be coming back to school after today. Just over seventeen months ago, my doctor told me I had MND or Motor Neuron Disease, and since then, it has progressed to the stage you see me at now, having to walk with a frame. I tried to hide it, I tried to do the best I could in my schooling and my sport, and I think I achieved that last year. However, this year will be different, I can no longer do what I used to do."
All eyes in the hall were on Shannon.
"Seventeen months ago, my doctor gave me between twelve and twenty-four months, so I guess I'm living on borrowed time right now. I want to thank each and every one of you for your encouragement, friendship and sporting competition over the past years. They have been the best times of my life. You have to realise though, I'm not going to be around for much longer, my disease is a death sentence and I've accepted it as that. I would just like to thank you all once again for making my life worth while."
Silence enveloped the hall, total and complete silence, every eye without exception staring unblinkingly at Shannon. There were more than a few stifled sobs, more than a few tears in more than a few eyes as Shannon stood facing the assembly, feeling contented he'd told them himself. It started as a single clap at the rear of the hall, swelling to thunderous applause and foot stamping, as without exception, everyone in the hall applauded Shannon for his courage and determination.
Chapter 3 -- Inevitability
It was now April, and Shannon had not attended school since the previous month. He and his folks, had reached an agreement with the school Principal, whereby he could continue his studies at home, his assignments being brought to him by Daniel. He found life far more relaxing being able to continue his studies at home; any research needed could be looked up on the internet.
The school Principal had convened a special assembly to inform the rest of the school of what was happening, as it was not just year twelve students who had been close to Shannon. His presence had been felt throughout the school, from the youngest to the eldest students; his assistance in sport and academic studies always being much appreciated.
Shannon could feel the tiredness creeping through him now, and when it became too much, he simply lay on his bed and slept for a couple of hours. Daniel never wavered from his routine, always returning home as soon as school was ended; there was no way he'd leave Shannon for any longer than was necessary.
His friends from school visited on a regular basis, some of course more than others, and Shannon enjoyed their company. On one occasion, the whole swim team, eleven guys turned up on the doorstep, and Shannon willingly asked them in, anxious to hear what was happening. Not a thing was said of his illness by anyone, they were just happy he was still with them in one sense.
The long, cold winter was now upon them, a trying time for Shannon as he missed his football more than he could ever express. He spent his days in his room, his assignments scattered across his study desk, his computer always at the ready for when he needed it. On a particular Thursday, around mid-day, the thought of food made its presence felt in his mind. He made his way to the kitchen, but halfway up the hall, his legs suddenly gave out and he crashed to the carpet. He watched his hands, terrified, they were leaping around instead of just shaking, and try as he might, nothing would stop them. His legs and feet were also shaking badly. What was he to do? He couldn't move himself to the phone to call the doctor; he simply couldn't move. He lay where he was, hoping against hope someone would come home early, or that this nightmare would cease.
No one came. Shannon lay on the carpet for what seemed interminable hours until Daniel returned home from school. Daniel opened the front door to be confronted by the sight of Shannon, prone in the hallway. He rushed to him.
"What happened Shan?" he asked, frantic. "How long have you been there?" He helped Shannon into a sitting position.
Shannon smiled. "Oh, about three hours I guess. My legs gave out Danny, then my hands, arms and legs started jumping around. I'm frightened man, real frightened, I don't now what's coming next."
After taking Shannon slowly to the lounge, Daniel made his way to the phone to contact the doctor. He was at the house within thirty minutes. He made a full examination of Shannon, then opened his bag.
"I'm going to give you an injection Shannon," the doctor said, "it will help you relax. Is it OK with you if we talk in front of your friend?"
"Yeah doc, Danny knows what's happening," Shannon replied.
The doctor smiled at Daniel, then turned back to Shannon and gave him the injection. "There, that will relax you very soon. I'm not going to play games with you Shannon. It's apparent your disease is in its final stages, which means you will have these turns more and more often. It's no longer safe for you to be in the house by yourself, so I'll arrange to have a home nurse with you from the time your parents leave for work until someone comes home. Who usually gets home first?"
"I do doctor," Daniel said. "I get home around three thirty every day."
That's good," the doctor replied, "I'll arrange for a nurse between eight thirty and three thirty during the week. Now, about what happened here today. The motor neurons, or movement cells in you brain are breaking down Shannon. As time passes, these cells will be destroyed faster and faster until you have no control over your muscles whatsoever. If it were just a case of inability to move, you could survive, but these motor neurons control all voluntary movement, and that includes breathing. When the disease reaches its zenith, you will not be able to breath without assistance, which will mean you will have to be on oxygen constantly. I have to tell you Shannon, that from here onward, your quality of life is going to diminish."
"If he's given assistance to breath doctor, doesn't that mean he could still survive this thing?" Daniel asked.
The doctor looked at Daniel with a sad expression. "Unfortunately no Daniel. The disease will eventually erode all the pathways, to all the muscles, and that includes the heart. Once that happens... well, I think you understand."
Shannon was not beaten yet. "Twenty months ago you gave me twelve to twenty four months doc, how much have I got left?"
"When I first saw you Shannon, and we got the results of the tests, I didn't really believe you would last any longer than six months, considering the advanced state of your disease. You, by your steely determination, have proved me wrong and I am the first one to admit it. I can't give you a time Shannon, I really can't, but I can tell you you'll know in yourself when things are deteriorating. Now, I have to get back to the surgery; I can see you are in good hands here."
Daniel saw the doctor to the door, then returned to the lounge. "Are you OK Shan?" he asked.
"Yeah, better now thanks Danny," Shannon replied, "that jab worked wonders."
Daniel told Shannon's folks of what had transpired when they arrived home, both of them shocked beyond belief. They readily accepted the presence of a nurse, someone who could watch Shannon, someone who would be there if something like this should happen again.
From that day onward, the doctors explanation was almost word perfect. Shannon began having difficulty getting out of bed in the mornings, he had to be helped showering, something of course Daniel was happy to assist with. His appetite diminished and he was no longer able to eat more than a few mouthfuls before he felt sick. His days were now spent largely on his bed, only studying when he thought he had the strength. Outwardly, he appeared cheerful, but only Daniel was privy to his inner feelings. Shannon didn't wish to bother his parents with his problems, they had enough to cope with right now. He was frightened, he didn't know what was around the next bend, and he was fearful of what the next day held in store for him.
Daniel offered him comfort, being with him every waking moment he was not at school. He gave up his sport, he gave up other interests which would see him away from Shannon, not wanting to be absent for one un-necessary minute. They still shared their intimate times, although Daniel knew these would not last much longer. Shannon no longer possessed the strength to participate fully. By the time October arrived, twenty four months after his initial diagnosis, Shannon was so weak, he was scarcely able to get out of bed. His nurse did almost everything for him, she fed him, she washed him and she sat with him while he did his studies. When he was studying, he seemed as though he wasn't ill at all, sitting up in bed, his mind lost in some assignment or other. Shannon was so determined to pass his final examinations, he would sometimes study until the small hours of the morning; Daniel with him, even at that time.
Shannon did his examinations during November. His nurse, owing to the circumstances, having been approved by the Education Department as supervisor. His work was submitted, and in late November he received his results. He had passed everything with high achievements. Shannon was so proud, all that work had paid off and now he could just sit back, so to speak, and await the inevitable.
Whenever his friends came to visit, they were always made welcome, Shannon sitting up in bed and chatting. Although nothing was ever said, all could see the deterioration in him. His cheeks appeared sunken, the definition had dropped from his arms; he appeared a mere shadow of his former self. An oxygen bottle was constantly by his bedside, as he was now having difficulties breathing.
Throughout December, he outwardly appeared to recuperate; he was looking forward to Christmas, the Christmas he knew was to be his last. Daniel, his folks and brother, were with him constantly, one or the other of them always by his side. Christmas day dawned, and Shannon steeled himself to get out of his bed, being helped by both his folks, as Daniel was spending Christmas at home. He sat in a comfortable chair in the lounge, watching as the gifts were distributed, seeing the delight on the faces of his parents and brother as they opened their gifts from him. He had given Daniel the list of what he wanted to buy, and Daniel had bought the gifts, patiently wrapping them under strict supervision from Shannon.
Daniel and his folks were around in the evening, distributing their gifts, but Shannon was tired, requesting he be assisted to his room. Daniel accompanied him, telling his folks he'd be spending tonight here with Shannon. There were no protests, his folks realising Shannon's time was short; they'd been shocked beyond belief by his appearance.
Shannon saw in the New Year, although he had to sleep for the better part of the following day; New Years day. When he finally awoke in the afternoon, he confided to Daniel.
"I haven't got much longer Danny, I can feel it in myself, the doc was right. I love you Danny, I have done since we first met, and I love you with my entire being. Make love to me, please, just this one last time before the great hereafter catches up with me. Whether it's right or wrong, it's what I want; it's what we both want."
Daniel made his love to Shannon, feeling a union between them no-one could ever destroy; sensing an ending to their three year relationship. This was to be the last time, Daniel could feel it within himself, Shannon did not have a lot longer.
The following day, Shannon slept the whole time, not even waking for his evening meal. Daniel was with him the whole time, as were his folks and brother; they knew his time was close. Daniel kept his vigil beside the bed, cradling Shannon's head on his arm, his head on Shannon's chest. He could hear the slow, but rhythmic beat of Shannon's heart, and as he thought of what had been between them, suddenly, there was no sound at all.
"Shan, Shan, please wake up," was Daniel's desperate plea. He gently shook his lover, "Shan, please, it's me, Danny." He raised his tearful eyes to Shannon's folks. "I think he's... he's..."
Shannon's father gently felt for the pulse in Shannon's neck, finding nothing. He turned to Shannon's mother and brother. "He's gone, God rest his soul," he said quietly.
The doctor was called, and he pronounced life extinct at ten thirty eight on January 2. Shannon had outlived his expectations by three months, and a lot longer than his original personal prediction. Daniel's folks were contacted, and gave their permission for him to be given a sedative, they knew well what this was doing to him. The police were notified, but as there was a doctors certificate of death being issued, only preliminary paperwork was required. Daniel was in the lounge as Shannon's body was discretely taken by the funeral home.
The funeral was held four days later, and the family was astounded when they arrived. The church was filled to capacity with Shannon's peers and teachers; without exception, every student who had known Shannon was present. Daniel had been asked to present a eulogy, and he did as requested, standing before his peers, and Shannon's family.
"Shannon meant the world to me, as I'm sure he did for the rest of you. His long and traumatic struggle is now at an end, and I take comfort in knowing he is now in the arms of his maker. Shannon was only eighteen years of age, and was struck down by a disease not even the medical scientists know a great deal about. How and why, are not questions we should ask, the answers are only known to a far higher being. All we should be asking, is what Shannon meant to us all, and as far as I'm concerned, as I believe the rest of you are, he meant everything. Even though his life was ended early, he achieved everything he set out to do, and that should be a lesson to all of us. Never to take for granted that we are here for our own purpose, but are here because we are meant to be.
"I shall always take comfort from the fact I knew Shannon. Even if it was only for a few years, his friendship is something I will cherish for the rest of my days. He's gone now, but his spirit will continue to live within us all. His personal courage and his zest for life is something which will never be forgotten, at least, not within my lifetime.
"To his folks and brother, we all offer our deepest condolences. Shannon was the product of your upbringing and love, and to have known... no, loved him, for even a single minute, is a privilege which will live with me for ever."
Daniel left the dais, slowly making his way back to his seat. The service having concluded, Shannon's coffin was raised onto the shoulders of eight of the swim team and carried slowly to the hearse. Shannon's family and Daniel followed behind, standing still as the coffin entered the hearse for the short drive to the crematorium. The congregation exited the church, standing in groups, many of them offering their personal condolences to Shannon's family.
It was over, Shannon's bitter struggle was ended, but his life had left a legacy with his friends. Although he was gone, his friendship, academic achievement and fierce competitive spirit, would remain with them for many years to come.
That day was the start of the sadness Daniel now felt. He'd lost his soul mate and lover, the person who meant more to him than almost anyone else. He may become close to someone else, somewhere in the distant future, but he knew no-one would ever mean as much to him as Shannon. It was a sadness he knew would remain with him until they finally met again. It was true what was said; true love never dies.
The End (Conclusion of Story)