**My deepest apologies to everyone for the delay, but what you've waited for is finally here... the next chapter. PHEW. I've FINALLY completed finals (is that redundant?), and was able to finish my chapter and get it proofed. My latest term at school proved to be NASTY, hence the lack of writing time.
Next term looks much better, though. I'll hope to have chapters out more frequently. As always, the ideas are there, but the time to write seems mysteriously absent from the schedule.
**I'd like to give props to a few great stories on the archive: Check out 'The Project' by Ad. Not only is he a great friend, but he also writes a great story. DEFINITELY read 'Common People' by Seth. Also, email the guy.
Seth is a person that, in a very short time, has become an awesome friend.
Get to know him, and you'll be able to say you've gotten to know an awesome person. Thanks to RCJ, Ryan (miss ya, bud), Andrew, Molly (I'm comin' to your city next!), Atlantian, and anyone else I've missed-sorry.
**To ALL: This is a story about love and a relationship between two guys, one of whom happens to be in the ever-popular band 'NSync. Though I might hint that that certain member might 'play for the other team' wink wink, there's no basis in reality for such a claim-but a boy can dream, no? Please continue reading if you are of legal age, OR if you want to break the law. Your choice.
**ANYWAY, I'm actually submitting this from my laptop on vacation, so I won't have too much email access to answer any responses (if i get any). I'll be busy with peebes and stuff this weekend, but i'll be back on track beginning of next week. I'm sooooooo sorry to those who have written and not gotten a response-I've gotten your notes, but I've been BUSY and not near a computer... all will be reconciled! If you'd like to drop me a line about whatever, even just to say hi, please do so! I'll totally get back to ya from now on. Enjoy the story-
~Jeff kaiser_goof@hotmail.com
Previously on Twist of Fate (WAAAAAAY back then, when they only had black and white TV sets)....
Jessica and I had a good little chat, and I was about to excuse myself from her, when her radio went off. I had expected a regular calm voice to speak, just like all the other radio calls I'd overheard. Instead, it was someone frantically yelling. It was crackling at first, but then cleared up.
"...a medic on the stage. We need a MEDIC ON STAGE!!! SOMEONE'S BEEN HURT.
I REPEAT, WE NEED A MEDIC ON STAGE!!"
I didn't even think. I was instantly off towards the stage. I tried to review all the things I had learned in my EMT class, but my mind was quickly becoming clouded from the adrenaline in my system. Oh boy! Here's my big chance! As I was running, however, I stopped dead cold in my tracks when it hit me. The band was on stage doing a sound check. The person that was hurt? It could be Lance!
Chapter 15
When I arrived on stage, it looked like a circus. A large group of stagehands and band members were huddling in a circle on stage, looking down at something. I glanced around at the faces in the crowd, desperately searching for Lance's. I didn't find it. I gasped as I stood there at the edge of the stage, and I know the color must have left my face. Dashed over to the huddle and yelled,
"LET ME THROUGH! MEDIC!" I felt like Moses as I said those magic words, for the people parted like the Red Sea. I fought my way in, mentally preparing myself for the worst case scenario. My heart was in my throat, and I was panicking because I didn't know how Lance was. I finally made it to the center of the circle, and I gasped when I saw Lance's face...
...and Justin's face, and Joey, and Chris... all kneeling around two bodies on the stage. I looked to see who they were, and I instantly noticed that one was JC! The other was a man in black, apparently a stagehand. Lance and Chris were looking after their band mate, while Justin and Joey were seeing to a man lying unconscious on the stage.
"What happened?" I asked, trying to stay calm, relieved out of my BRAIN that Lance was okay, but knowing I had a job to do.
"Oh man," Joey began to explain. "Charlie was working on the lighting, and his safety line broke. He fell from the trussing over the stage, but the line caught, broke his fall, but then snapped anyway. He hit JC on the shoulder on the way down." Realizing I had two victims, I turned around and yelled,
"Where's Victor?! I NEED HIM!" With that, I went to work, assessing both Charlie and JC. JC was sitting up and completely conscious, and seemed to be doing okay. His shoulder was hurt from the fall, but it could wait. I quickly focused on Charlie. Charlie was unconscious, so I began my evaluation after pulling on a set of gloves. Airway... CHECK. He was fine.
Breathing... CHECK. He had no problems with breathing. Circulation... CHECK. Checked his pulse, around 120 beats per minute. A little high, but what do you expect from the adrenaline?
"CHARLIE?" I yelled, trying to rouse my patient. "CHARLIE?" Nothing. I gave him a pinch on the fleshy part just below the shoulder blade to see if he responded to stimuli. He moaned a bit. I began getting concerned, so I gave him a head-to-toe examination. Starting with his head, then neck, arms, torso, pelvic region, legs... I needed to see if he was hurt! I reached up to his head, and immediately noticed some blood on my gloves.
"Did he hit his head on the floor?" I yelled to the crowd, looking at Joey.
Joey just shrugged, and a quick scan of the others in the crowd showed that nobody else knew. I noticed Jessica in the crowd, and called to her. "Jessica? You and Joey call 911. We need an ambulance. And where's Victor?!" I was a bit put out that my partner (I use the term loosely) wasn't around to do his job.
Reaching for my med pack, I grabbed some gauze to hold against the wound. I wanted to find out the extend of his head injuries! After applying the gauze, I finished my exam of Charlie with my other hand, and found no other injuries. I picked up the gauze, and noticed only a slight amount of blood.
"I'm here. What happened?" I looked up to see Victor walk up with his med pack. Nice timing. I gave him the skinny on the situation.
"Charlie fell from the trussing, hitting JC on the way down, breaking his fall. ABC's are okay, heart rate 120, unconscious, scalp laceration of unknown size, possible head trauma. I need to do a neuro on him." I gave the bullet to Victor without looking at him, focusing only on my patient. I felt Victor kneel down beside me.
"Okay Billy, I'll take over from here." I straightened up my back to look him square in the eye. If there's one thing you learn in medical training, it's that you NEVER leave your patient unless you're relieved by ambulance or hospital staff, OR you're too exhausted to continue your treatment. Neither applied. How dare he even suggest that. I gave him a glare that could have melted a block of steel.
"Like Hell you will! I need you to hold this gauze and maintain his neck support while I give him a neuro." He seemed taken aback that I would actually stand up to him, seeing as he WAS older and a bit more experienced.
I didn't care. This was my patient, and I was sticking with him. He paused for a moment, fuming inside, and realized he did have a job obligation. He took over for me so I could give Charlie a neurological exam, checking his stimulus response and checking his pupil response to light. Thankfully, Charlie had no symptoms of any damage from these tests. I glanced up to check on JC, but was caught by Lance's stare instead. He had a somewhat shocked, somewhat smiling face. I think he was amazed that I stood up to Victor, but proud of me at the same time. That's what it seemed like, at least. I was beginning to get really good at reading his mind.
"Charlie! Can you hear me?" I yelled, trying to rouse my patient. In the meantime, Victor had put on a neck brace to stabilize Charlie's neck. Surprisingly, Charlie came to life as his eyes slowly opened, and a quiet moan came from his mouth. "Charlie, do you know where you are?" He was able to grunt back an 'uh huh', and that was good enough for me. It could have been so much worse!
Once Charlie was stabilized, Victor went over to work on JC's shoulder. I kept talking with Charlie, trying to assess his mental condition. He was slowly coming out of the haze, and was telling me about all he remembered. Another glance to Victor showed JC slowly rotating his arm around his shoulder for Victor's inspection. Victor was poking and prodding, but it seemed as if JC would survive.
"Ambulance is here!" someone yelled from behind me, and I turned around to find a few paramedics rolling in with med paks. After giving them the skinny on Charlie, they took over for me, loading Charlie up on a gurney and rolling him out to the ambulance.
"...do not want to go to the hospital!" I heard, and I glanced over to JC complaining to his bandmates, Victor, and Peter.
"But you hurt your shoulder, JC!" Peter said, reminding him of the events that had just happened.
"Look... look at this. Does it look like I'm hurt?" JC had rolled his sleeve up past his shoulder, and was rotating his arm around slowly in the socket slowly. I could tell by JC's face that he was in a bit of pain, but that's expected with such a bump on the shoulder.
"Victor, tell him he needs to go," Peter said.
"Well, his arm checks out. No major swelling or discoloration, and he has full range of motion," Victor answered. From how it appeared, both JC and Victor were right (did I just say Victor was right?)... JC didn't need to go. Peter just gave in, on the premise that he'd report to Victor and Billy for frequent check-ups, and that he'd take it easy in the concerts.
The crowd had since dispersed, and the stage was left populated by the band, Victor, Peter, and I. Peter told everyone to take a break, which was greatly appreciated. Victor disappeared instantly, while JC got the royal treatment from the rest of the band. Except Lance. I looked to him and gave him the 'come over here, we need to talk' with my pointer finger. He nodded slowly and we walked together out to the trailer. When we were out of earshot while we were walking, I finally broke down to Lance,
"That scared me so much! When I heard the radio call about someone being hurt on stage, I freaked. I thought it was you. Then when I got to the stage, I couldn't find your face, and all I could think of was that you..." I wasn't crying, but it WAS the first time in the last 20 minutes that I was able to let my guard down and let the stress out. Lance had such a concerned look on his face.
"Shh shhh shhh shhhhhhhh... hey now, hold on... hold on!" Lance said as we arrived at the trailer. He opened the door and let us both in. He could tell I was upset, so he immediately grabbed both my hands and comforted me. "I'm okay, see, I'm fine. Look at me! That's the sweetest thing, Billy... that you were concerned about me... and it means so much that you'd come running if you thought I was hurt... but I'm fine. I'm fine... I'm okay......... thank you for caring... thank you..." I took a deep breath and exhaled, knowing that Lance was okay. I squeezed his hands, and he squeezed back. Oh, was I happy he wasn't hurt.
"Lance, I don't know what I would have done if you had gotten hurt. I mean, you're so important to me, and I forget that whatever stream of luck brought you into my life could just as easily take you out of it. When I heard that someone was hurt, it was the first time I realized that I could actually lose you... I mean, to injury, or whatever. I could lose my job here, or I could go off to school, or you guys could stop touring, or you...... you... might find som........." I stopped speaking dead-cold in the middle of my sentence because I couldn't believe that thought had crossed my mind. Perhaps the excitement of the moment had sparked unnecessary scenarios, or maybe I was just voicing a concern that had been sitting deep within my mind.
"I might find... what?" Lance's face became very serious as I looked up at him. He seemed to know where I was going, but he needed to hear it himself.
My eyes were dry, my mouth was clogged with cotton... I did NOT want to say the next few words that were to come out of my mouth, but I knew that I had started the thought, and I had to complete it.
"You might find............ someone else. Someone better than me........." Lance's face stayed frozen, yet I could see his shoulders drop as he exhaled. He released his grip from my hands, and turned around. I suddenly had a sinking feeling in my chest that told me I had hurt him. He walked a few steps away, his back still to me. He reached up to his face with one of his hands, and it looked as if he was holding his mouth or chin, in thought.
I had to say something. "Lance, I'm s...."
"No, no... don't start," Lance said as he put his hand up to mute me. He slowly turned around to face me. "First of all, I'm shocked that you'd even THINK something like that," he said. I wasn't sure if he was mad, or compassionate, or hurt, or what. He wasn't happy, though. "Is that all you think this relationship is? A fling? You think I'm just doing this for fun? You think I'm still 'on the market'?" He paused, as if he wanted me to answer his rhetorical questions. I just bit my lower lip, and shook my head slowly. I could feel my eyes start to water up-not because of what he said, but because I could have even ALLOWED this thought to come into my head.
Lance continued. "Billy, I KNOW you know how hard it is to carry on a long-distance relationship. You and I both had to do it for the last few months! You KNOW that it's nearly impossible to survive on emails and the occasional phone call, but we did it. I did it. I did it for you. If you were just some anybody, I wouldn't have done it. But you're very special to me, Billy. I care about you so much, and I think about you all the time! I've lost sleep over you. I've been the butt of the airhead jokes with the band because I'm always daydreaming about you, and I don't hear it when people talk to me. Billy, I've had a long, hard time these last few months because of you... but I'd GLADLY do it again anytime if it meant I could be with you."
Lance's words sucked the air from my lungs as I exhaled. Lance had paused his rant and looked up at me. His words were deep, perfect, and revealing. I felt like such a jerk for actually saying what I said. Lance saw my face and slowly walked back to me. He reached for my hands again, gripped them, and pulled them up to his chest. A light tug from him pulled me close to him. Lance then proceeded to say the sweetest words I'd ever heard him say.
"Billy, it would be impossible for me to find someone better than you because......" Lance paused and sighed, then continued, "because you're perfect for me. Ever since I met you, ever since we got together, I haven't thought about anyone else. I mean, sure... I've glanced at a few butts here and there, but you... YOU Billy...... you're the one that has my heart."
I had smiled at his 'butt' comment, but my eyes had closed involuntarily as he finished his statement. I felt myself swaying almost weightlessly in his grip. He let go of my hands and wrapped his arms around me in a loving hug--a hug I didn't feel like I deserved. We stood in that embrace for a moment, just enjoying each other's company. Although I wanted to stay there for a long long time, I felt I needed to make amends.
"Lance, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I even thought that," I said as I reluctantly pulled out of his arms. "It's just that the fact that I got so lucky to have YOU is mind-blowing, and I guess I'm just preparing myself for when this dream ends and I wake up. What you just said meant so much, though. Please forgive me for ever doubting you." Lance reached up and rested his hands on my shoulders.
"Billy, I forgive you. Don't worry about it. Always know that I'm here... I'm not going anywhere. And Billy? There's one more thing that I want you to remember... and this is the most important thing..." I nodded with anticipation, ready to burn whatever he said into my permanent memory. Lance reached up to lightly hold my face, and he finished his statement. "The most important thing is......" Lance moved in quickly and planted a smooch right on my lips. "YOU'RE IT." In an instant he was gone through the door back outside, and I was left in a haze, knowing I had been HAD--but knowing I had been forgiven at the same time.
"......sound crazy, but it ain't no lie, baby, bye bye bye!!" The echo from the last note of this new song rang out through the empty stadium. A few production staff members scattered throughout the venue were the source of the very few rounds of applause that were heard as the band finished up. I, of course, was one of those applauding! I had never heard the song before, and just figured they were going to add it to their tour.
"Okay guys, you're done. Good job!" Pete said through the stage monitors. "Break for a while, be sure you've eaten and visited wardrobe and makeup by 7:30p." In a flash, the band turned and headed my direction. They first stopped and talked with the soundman, dropping off their wireless mics and earpiece monitors. Everyone except for JC.
"Hey Billy," JC said, rubbing his shoulder.
"Hey JC. How's the shoulder doing?" I responded. Time to play doctor.
"Well, it's okay, I'm just wondering if you've got some ice or something I can put on this."
"Is it hurting you?" I started to get concerned, thinking that our diagnosis from an hour ago might be out of date.
"No no, it's okay... just a little sore. I mean, I did have a guy land on it this afternoon!" Just to be sure he was okay, I wanted to take a look at it.
"Let me take a look." JC obliged, and pulled his shirt up and pulled his left arm through the arm hole, leaving it crumpled around his neck. While the view of his chest was fine, I kept my eyes in line--right on his shoulder. I had a job to do, and I was going to do it, DARN IT... even IF JC's left nipple was only 6 inches away...
I shook my head clear of those thoughts and completed my exam. Everything checked out, so I smiled and nodded, cracking open a cold pack from my box.
"Here ya go. Keep it on for 20 minutes, then off for another 20. Maybe use an old shirt to tie it on or something." JC thought for a second, smiled, and said,
"Don't tell me they teach you THAT at paramedic school!" I shook my head.
"Well, first off, I'm an EMT, not a paramedic. Secondly, nah... I've just seen that done before, so I thought I'd suggest it." He nodded.
"That's great. I'll remember that." JC then decided to change subjects. "So... how do you feel about this whole tour thing? Are you enjoying the life?" I thought for a moment, and responded.
"Oh, it's great! Excitement, meeting new people, seeing the world-- I just have one question. When is it that we sleep again?" JC snickered and nodded, acknowledging my sentiments.
"Ya know what? You've only seen one night! Wait until you've been on tour for a week. Or a month. Or three months! I mean, we get days off now and then, but it can really start to wear on you."
"Well, I'll keep that in mind. I'm sure having good friends like you guys around will totally lighten up the experience, though."
"I sure hope so. We can all rub each other the wrong way sometimes, but for the most part, we keep each other sane in this insane schedule. One work of advice, though... Stay away from Justin until he's had something to eat in the morning." I nodded and smiled, recalling that this wasn't the first time I had gotten this warning.
"Well, your shoulder is a-okay. But you come back if it gives you any trouble, and I'll be sure to check on you after the show to be sure everything is fine." JC cocked his head, gave a confused smile and said,
"Ya know what? Most of the EMTs we have don't give a damn about what's going on. It's just 'do their job' and that's it. But I can tell you care about your job... That's cool in my book. Thanks for taking care of my shoulder!" He then reached his arms up and actually pulled me into a quick hug! If I wasn't already blushing from his comments, I sure was from this display of his affection. I readily accepted his friendship gesture, which was over in an instant. "Catch ya later, Billy."
"No problem, JC. Just doing my job..." He smiled and nodded as he turned away, headed back to the band who was still at the tech table in the wings. I still had a nice grin on my face when someone came up from behind me and poked me in the kindeys. "Youch!" I yelped as I turned around, ready to clober whoever had scared me. I turned and found myself face to face... with Lance.
"What's up with that? I turn around for five seconds, and you're gettin' it on with the rest of the band. You ho!" Had Lance not had a big grin on his face from joking around, I would have had some explaining to do.
"Well, ya know... you can't have too many 'NSync members in the palm of your hand at once. I think I'll work on......... Joey next." Lance sat there and contemplated what I said, and finally responded,
"Hmmmm... I definitely agree with JC. Good call, he's kinda cute. But Joey?" He crinkled his nose and we both said in unison,
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" That was enough to send us both into stitches right there in the wings of the stage. Just then, as luck would have it, the rest of the band walked by after finishing up with the sound people, and we both received the "You are Totally Crazy" award from all of them. We tried to sober up, but it wasn't happening, especially after looking at poor old Joey with his bright red hair.
"What are you guys ON?" Justin asked. Neither of us could respond, we were stil laughing so hard.
"I don't know what, but whatever it is, I want some," Chris said, smiling and shaking his head at us. After a few moments, both Lance and I fought our emotions and forced ourselves to calm down. This, of course, included attempts to wipe the smiles off our faces, short stifled giggles, and the inability to look at anyone for fear of another explosion.
Joey just shook his head as we finally returned to sanity. "It's about time you guys calm down!" He paused for a moment, and addressed the whole group.
"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm getting hungry. Anyone up for a bite?" We all nodded and headed for the catering room. We all started to head for the food, but Joey dropped back a step to talk with us as we were walking. Lance and I were still both pretty giddy, so that didn't help. "I'm trying, and I want to figure out what's going on in your messed up little brains. I haven't yet, but I want to get you guys!" Joey said as he shook his head.
An evil smile came across Lance's face. "Sorry Joey, Billy and I have already decided... Only JC can get us. You're just out of luck!" Lance and I didn't stop laughing until after dinner.
"Goodnight, Milwaukee. We love you all. Stay 'NSync!!" Justin yelled those closing words, and the stage lights died. I had NO IDEA that 30,000 screaming fans could be THAT loud! The whole crowd had been screaming like crazy all night, and even called the guys back for two encores. The guys expect that and plan for it each night, but I'm sure the crowd thinks it's all spontaneous and just for them at every show. In a flash, the guys turned towards my wing and exited the stage. Security had lined up at the front of the auditorium and it took all their efforts to keep the crowd off the stage! In a flash, the band was surrounded by a slew of people from sound, wardrobe, and various other crew members. Microphones and earphone monitors were dropped off, bottled water and towels were distributed back and forth.
"Oh, thanks," Chris said as he grabbed a towel and some water. A similar response came up from all the guys. I scanned the faces of all the guys to see how they were doing. Chris seemed pooped, but okay. Joey was fine. Justin? Hyper as ever. JC looked like he needed a shower and a few hours rest. Lance? GASP. It took the breath out of me to see Lance! He looked so pale, so ill. He even had the lightest green tint to his skin. He looked like he had just run 10 miles having not eaten anything for a week. What could be making him look so bad?
"Lance, how are you feeling?" I asked as I rushed over to him. I wanted to reach up to feel his face, or to give him a hug, but I decided it would be best to remain professional. Lance was a bit slow in his response.
"Wha huh? Oh, I'm fine. I'm just a little tired. It's a good thing we have a day off after tomorrow's concert! Haha..." He did his best to smile and laugh, but it struck me through the heart to watch his mouth turn up in his patented smile but not see a single spark in his cold, tired eyes. I wanted to shake him for not telling me how he really felt, but I didn't want to press the issue here. I knew it was either something he did NOT want to talk about, or he'd be able to open up later.
"Okay Lance, it's just that you look really tired, almost sick. I just want everyone here to stay healthy," I said, showing him through my eyes that I meant so much more than those words were able to communicate. It was only then that I saw his eyes warm up and I sensed life from him.
"I know, Billy. You're just doing your job. I'll be fine after some sleep.
I promise." Although unconvinced by his response, I let it drop. They all had to go, anyway. Jessica had walked up with radio in hand, and started shuttling them all off towards their dressing rooms to get out of their wardrobe and ready for the trip to the next city. I just sighed, knowing that I had to do something for Lance. What? I don't know, but I only hoped I could find out soon!
Although Lance had been shuttled away to do his little performer thing, that didn't mean he wasn't on my mind. Now I know what he was talking about with the daydreaming thing. The last few days, I'd seen Lance more than I had in the last three months, yet I found myself thinking about him more and more every moment! I was starting to get better at my responsibility of tearing down the makeshift medical station set up backstage, and I didn't even mind that Victor wasn't as helpful as he should have been. The way I look at it, I'll be doing it by myself soon enough anyway, so he can go take a flying leap off of wherever he wanted to, and it wouldn't really affect me. He still seemed cold about the way I had handled the medical situation that morning, but I wasn't going to budge on that one... I knew what I had done was right!
I had already made a few trips to one of the production vans in which the medical supplies were transported, and each trip took me past a set of make-shift offices, the bathrooms, and the security station. Each time I walked by security, I got to know Steve and the other guards pretty well. "Hi Steve," I said. "Hey Doc," was the response. That was about the extent of our conversation. OKAY, it wasn't the greatest or most in depth choice of words, but there's only so much you can say when you're jamming to get done for the night!
I was on my third... no, my fourth trip out to the van, and all I could think about was getting done and getting on the bus where I could look after Lance. A sound coming from the bathroom as I walked by caught my attention, though. It was faint at first, but became more distinct the closer I got to the door, and unmistakable as I set the backboard down and walked in. It was a sound I had heard before, especially when Scotty had the flu. It was the sound of someone throwing up. The bathroom was pretty big and winding, with sinks on one side, urinals on the other, and stalls behind a wall. I walked around to where the sound was coming from, and traced it to the handicapped stall closest in the row. I peeked around the corner, hoping there was something I could do to help.
"Are you okay?" I said softly to the person who had just finished driving the porcelain bus. He didn't say anything, though, but rather sat on the ground, clutching the throne, shaking like a leaf. I leaned down and lightly put my right hand on his left shoulder, trying to turn his face towards mine. But feeling that shoulder, seeing that hair, and recognizing his shirt, it became painfully apparent who it was.
Lance's face slowly turned up towards mine, and it took every ounce of strength in me not to step back. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and nose and mouth stained from his recent bout of reverse peristalsis. His face looked even paler than it did before, and I knew right then that I had been ignoring all the symptoms I had been seeing in him. Here he was, at his lowest of lows, and I'd not intervened in any way to help him. I immediately dropped to my knees and put my arm around him.
"Lance, what happened?" It was a pretty stupid question, and I got a pretty stupid answer.
"I, uh, threw up." His chest jumped as he laughed at his own joke, and for a moment I saw a smile on his face... but it was quickly replaced with a wince of pain as his stomach muscles cramped. I shook my head.
"Lance, you're not well. I've been watching you the last few days, and you look pale, you're not eating, you don't seem healthy. What's wrong? What's happening?"
"I don't know, Billy. I don't know. I guess I'm just getting the flu or a cold or something. I don't get sick that often, but when I do, boy is it a doozie." Lance was making me mad.
"LANCE! STOP IT!" I nearly yelled. "You're NOT well! You're pale, you're getting thin, you have no energy, and now you've thrown up! How can you say this is a little bug?"
Lance then muttered under his breath, "It's wouldn't be the first time I've thrown up..." I pursed my lips and paused in utter disapproval at his lack of concern about his health.
"Lance!......" I said in frustrated exasperation. "That is NOT okay with me. I care about you so much, and I'm not going to stand by and let you disintegrate! I've just started touring, and I know it's tiring on the road. But this is more than being tired. You can't catch up on sleep, on food, on energy, on anything. Lance, you're pushing yourself too hard! You need to take it easy... you need a break before you REALLY hurt yourself!" Lance's head had dropped as I started my speech, and it was only at this point that he looked up at me. He exhaled and started talking.
"Sometimes showbiz can be like this. I don't have to like it, though. I hate it, actually. But it's the way the tour is..." Lance paused again, and looked down at the cold tile of the bathroom floor. "I know I haven't been doing the best lately. I haven't eaten well, I haven't slept well, I haven't... been well." Again, Lance looked up at me. "But you're here now.
You're here with ME. I know I'll be better now that I have you close." I reached over and placed my other hand on his shoulder, squeezing my love into him.
"I WANT to help you, Lance.. I want to encourage you! But you need to promise me that you'll eat, and sleep, and take care of yourself. I can't fix that!" Lance found my eyes again and stared for a moment before he slowly nodded.
"I will. I'll take care of myself. I pro..mise.." His words broke up at the end as he started coughing. He turned his head back to the toilet and spat again.
"Come on Lance, let's get you cleaned up, and then into bed on the bus. You need it and deserve it." I grabbed his hand and helped him stand up. He was a little wobbly at first, but quickly gained his legs. I walked him to a sink and poured some warm water while balling up some paper towels so he could clean himself up. He just leaned against the wall with his eyes closed. "Okay Goof, here ya go." Lance walked over and started rinsing his face and mouth out in the sink. I ran to a stall and grabbed some tissue for him, and he promptly blew his nose upon my return. Lance opening up the sink stopper seemed to indicate that he was done. I reached over and patted his upper back, saying, "All better?" Lance paused, looked over at me, and nodded.
"Yeah. All better." He smiled, and continued. "Thanks for being so good to me, Billy. I'm always getting all messed up, and you're always taking care of me. Thanks." These were the words of a humbled man, but I needed to show him that his humility was out of place.
"Lance, you've been there for me so many times! To give me advice, to encourage me when I'm down... Remember that terrible day I had in the ambulance? You called me and made me feel like a million bucks! Lance, I could in no way repay you for the love and care I've gotten from you. I just hope I give you a fraction of what you give me." Lance took in a deep breath and sighed, never taking his eyes off of me. I took a step closer to him and reached up to hold his face. He seemed to resist, and began to speak and point to his mouth, presumably to remind me that he probably didn't have the greatest breath. I just shushed him, leaned his head down, and gave him a long kiss on the forehead. When I was done, there wasn't anything more I wanted to do than hug Lance. So darnit, that's what I did.
"I love you, Goof," I said as I pulled him close.
"I love you, Billy," Lance responded.
FLUSH. I was shaken by the unexpected sound of a toilet flushing, and Lance and I were instantly apart. The look of love in both our eyes quickly turned to one of horror as we both realized that we weren't alone in the bathroom. A million thoughts went through my mind, and probably Lance's as well. I pulled my stare away from a frightened Lance and began cautiously walking along the rows of sinks towards the source of the sound. My head was spinning, my heart was beating, and I was scared of who I might find. My fearful curiosity was satiated, however, when someone walked around the corner.
"Oh, hey Billy," Victor said as he turned on the sink and proceeded to wash his hands. My heart stopped and I froze cold. I couldn't speak, I didn't know what to say. What had he heard? How long had he been in the bathroom?
Would he tell anyone? Does he...... know?? Victor glanced over my shoulder towards the third person in the room. "Oh, hey Lance."
"Hey Victor," Lance managed to crackle out. Victor turned back to me and said,
"You almost done packing up? I noticed the backboard outside. The van's about to leave." Victor seemed totally oblivious to the events in the bathroom leading up to our conversation, and I had no choice to play along with him.
"Hum, uh, yeah. I'm almost done, yeah. I was just... helping Lance, he wasn't.. i mean, isn't feeling well. But.. .he's better now." UGH.
"Really? I'm sorry to hear that, Lance! You should get some sleep!" Victor seemed so sincere, and Lance could only acknowledge it with a muted thank you. Victor had finished drying his hands, and began his exit.
"Well, I'll see you all when I see you," Victor said as he started walking away. However, he turned back to say, "Hey Lance, if you're still feeling badly tomorrow, we'll get you to see a doctor. Actually, just talk to Billy. He'll be able to take GOOD care of you." And with a nod, he was gone.
*Okay, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I look forward to getting another chapter out soon, and to hearing your opinions on the latest. I'm coming, peebes!
~Jeff kaiser_goof@hotmail.com