Author's Notes: Well here it is, Chapter 3. I got it out as fast as I could for all of you who were worried about poor Justin. I think this chapter will be a little happier than the previous ones. Enjoy.
Whatever It Takes - Chapter 3
By, Teresa
Justin blinked his eyes slowly, trying to clear his vision as he looked around the unfamiliar room. `Where the hell am I?' he thought, as he slowly took in his surroundings. As the realization that he was lying in a hospital room dawned on him, he suddenly became aware of the gentle weight on his right hand. He looked down and saw Lance sitting in a chair at the side of his bed, with his head down on the bed next to Justin, gripping Justin's hand for dear life, and sleeping peacefully. Justin smiled tenderly at his sleeping friend, and reached over with his left hand to run it over Lance's hair. As he looked down at Lance, he could feel the tears building up at the back of his eyes.
He couldn't believe how mean he had been lately. He had been treating Lance like crap, but here he was lying next to Justin like nothing had changed between them. That was the kind of person Lance was. Nothing as small as a petty argument would stop Lance from being there for a friend when he was needed. Justin continued to absently stroke Lance's hair as he got lost in his thoughts. Lance began to stir and he felt the gentle hand running over his head. Every nerve in his body was aware of Justin's touch. He wanted to move, needing to check on Justin, to know he was okay. But at the same time, he could imagine himself getting lost in the gentle touches that Justin was giving him.
He snapped himself out of his daydreams and slowly lifted his head, turning to face Justin. It wasn't until Lance's head moved beneath his hand that Justin snapped back to the present.
"Hey," Justin said with a shy smile, noticing their hands still interlocked on the mattress.
"Hey yourself," Lance replied. "How are you feeling this morning?"
"I guess I feel better? I know it's bad, but I really don't remember anything," Justin said with a frown on his face.
"Yeah, I guess I wouldn't expect you to. I've never seen you that out of it before. It scared me - it scared all of us. You weren't breathing normally and you were blue and we had to call an ambulance for you. They said you had alcohol poisoning, and they had to pump your stomach and.." Lance's rambling trailed off and he stared into space with a sad and distant look in his eyes, as if he was reliving the scene again in his mind. He didn't want to remember how bad it was, how scared he had been that he might lose Justin. It was still too overwhelming to let himself fully imagine the possible endings to the previous night.
Justin squeezed Lance's hand. "Hey, it's okay, I'm all right now. I, well, I still don't know exactly what happened last night, but for some reason, I feel like I should be thanking you. I haven't exactly been the easiest person to be around lately, and well, with you being here right now, I feel like I should say I'm sorry." As he spoke, Justin was absently picking at the hospital blanket with his left hand, unable to look into Lance's eyes as he finally admitted defeat.
Lance smiled. "Well, I don't believe it. I hope Steve's hiding behind one of these IV's because I need to get this moment on tape. This is one for the highlight reels."
"Oh shut up," Justin said with mock anger, before breaking into a smile.
"No way," Lance laughed. "I got the almighty Justin Timberlake to say he's sorry. Do I get a medal for this? Oh please tell me I get some kind of reward." The two boys laughed and they shared a silent understanding that the pettiness of the past week was behind them. As their laughter subsided, a silence developed between them and they both looked down at their still interlocked hands at the same moment. Lance pulled away quickly.
"Uh, I better go get the other guys and tell them you're awake," he said.
"Yeah, where are they anyway?" Justin asked.
"Probably just developing a few permanent back cramps in the chairs in the waiting room," Lance replied. "I had to practically beg, scream, and bribe the nurse just to get her to let me stay in here. She finally said I could, but she'd only let me do it. The other guys had to stay outside."
Lance got up and headed for the door. "Hey Lance," Justin called.
"Yeah?" Lance replied as he looked back at Justin.
Justin looked at him straight in his eyes and spoke with a slow and steady voice. "I'm sure once the other guys and management and all that get in here, things are going to get kind of crazy. I just wanted to say thanks for staying with me last night. I know I don't say these kinds of things enough, but I don't know what I'd do if you weren't around."
Lance didn't know what to say to Justin's words. He opened his mouth, but nothing would come out.
"You don't have to say anything Lance," Justin said with a smile. "You look like you're trying to catch flies. Go get the other guys."
"Okay, I'll be right back," Lance said relieved.
"I guess I'll just wait here," Justin said ruefully.
For the next few hours, Justin was caught up in a whirlwind of activity. Between the other four guys coming in and attacking him with hugs and macho slaps on the shoulder, and their manager Johnny coming in and berating him until the man's voice was hoarse, he was a constant focus of attention. His mother called and it was the first time that Justin felt true remorse for what he had done. Even though she tried so hard to be angry with him, he could tell that she was mostly sad. All she could think of was where she had gone wrong with him, and she hit him with a barrage of questions, trying to make sense of it all. What had she done to make him so irresponsible? Hadn't she raised him right? Had she let him get into the group at too young of an age? He had ended up having to turn the phone over to JC, who managed to calm Lynn down with promises that he'd watch over Justin with a careful eye.
In the midst of all the confusion, the doctor came in and cleared out the room, checking Justin over one last time before giving him the go-ahead to leave the hospital. He gave Justin the routine lecture for victims of alcohol poisoning or drug addiction, urging him to get treated and seek professional psychological help. Justin nodded along complacently, wishing he could just hurry the guy along and get out of that place. He had always hated hospitals. Their smell, their lack of human warmth, and what he saw as a representation of illness and death had always creeped him out. He couldn't wait to get back to a real bed, even if it was just in some hotel room. It was "real" enough for him at this point.
A few minutes after the doctor left, Justin heard a soft knock on the door, before it opened slightly. "You decent?" Lance asked.
"I guess it depends on your definition of decent. But if you're asking if I'm dressed, I'm getting there slowly but surely," Justin said. "You can come in if you want."
Lance entered the room somewhat timidly. He didn't know just how much Justin had managed to get dressed and covered up so far, but he didn't want to walk in on what could be an uncomfortable situation for him. He knew that Justin would be totally comfortable with getting dressed in front of him. After all, they had done it a million times during concerts. But at the same time, Justin had no idea about the true nature of Lance's feelings for him, and Lance felt like he would be taking advantage in some way if he caught Justin in some awkward state of undress.
He let out a sigh of relief as he saw that Justin already had his pants on and was in the process of pulling his shirt over his head. Justin turned around and sat on the bed to put on his shoes and socks, and as he bent over he winced in pain and let out a low groan.
"What's wrong?" Lance asked, concerned.
"Ugh, I'm just so sore from all of the pumps and tubes and whatever else they put in me in this place. I can barely move," Justin said, the heavy exhaustion apparent in his voice.
"Well, I can help you if you need me to," Lance offered.
"Yeah, could you? You're the best, man," Justin replied.
Lance made his way over to Justin and picked up his shoes and socks. He held them in his hands and stared at them for a moment, as if he suddenly didn't know what to do with them. He looked up and noticed Justin watching him expectantly. "Well are you going to sit there and admire my shoes all day, or are you going to put them on my feet?" Justin teased Lance with a smile.
Lance looked up and felt a blush creep onto his cheeks. He quickly covered up his embarrassment with a smile. "Hey I'm not used to putting on other people's shoes. I'm just trying to plan my strategy for this reverse approach." He set to work putting on Justin's socks and shoes, trying to do it as quickly and scientifically as possible. Justin's feet might not exude sex appeal like the rest of him, but the nearness of Justin's body was driving him crazy. As he slipped on Justin's shoes, he saw him slowly turn and stretch, his T-shirt lifting and exposing a glimpse of skin. Even though he'd seen Justin shirtless a thousand times, Lance couldn't deny the electricity that ran through his body at that particular moment. He fumbled as he tried to tie Justin's shoelaces.
Justin leaned down as far as he could and got right in Lance's face. "Loop, scoop, and pull, Lance. Just loop, scoop, and pull," he said, before ruffling Lance's hair playfully. Lance regained his composure and hurried to finish tying Justin's shoes. "There, all done," he said, looking at his work with great satisfaction.
"Yeah Lance, that was a real accomplishment," Justin teased.
"You better watch it or I'm going to put you back in that hospital bed," Lance said. In the midst of their playful bickering Lance helped Justin up off of the bed and they slowly walked out of the room, where they met the security guards who would escort them back to their car.
"Oh yeah, you and who else? I'll take you on. I'll take you all on," Justin continued. Their voices trailed off as they headed down the hall, Justin holding on to Lance's arm for support.
They returned to their hotel and headed up to their rooms. On the elevator, Justin kept looking at Lance out of the corner of his eye, as if he wanted to say something, but was afraid. Finally, he looked over at Lance and spoke with his characteristic shyness that was so often buried under his stubborn, macho exterior.
"Do you think it would be okay if I stayed in your room tonight?" he asked quietly.
Lance looked at him surprised. "Well yeah, sure, if that's what you want," he said.
Justin looked relieved. "Cool, thanks. It's just that I think I'd feel more comfortable in there. You know, in case I need anything. I just - I just feel better knowing that you're there."
Lance smiled at Justin's heartfelt words. "Hey, it hasn't been the same without you anyway. I haven't been able to sleep a wink without your loud, obnoxious snoring filling the room," he said.
"I do not snore!" Justin said defiantly.
"Do so."
"Do not."
"Do so."
"Do so."
"Do not - dammit, Justin! You always do that. Why do I keep falling for that?" Lance shook his head in mock frustration. He smiled to himself. He always let Justin think that he had tricked him. Seeing Justin's triumphant smile upon "fooling" him was enough to make Lance go along every time.
Lance unlocked the door to his room and helped Justin to one of the beds. "I'm just going to go get your stuff from Joey's room, and I'll be right back. Do you want me to get you a soda or anything from one of the vending machines while I'm out," he asked.
"Nah, I'll just get one from the mini-bar and charge it to you. That's more fun," Justin joked.
Lance rolled his eyes at him, and left the room. When he got out in the hall he smiled to himself. `It's so good to have him back,' he thought.
He knew that they still needed to have a talk about things, but when he returned to the room and found Justin snuggled on top of his still-made bed, he didn't have the heart to wake him. He gently rolled Justin to the side and pulled back the covers before taking off the shoes and socks that he so painstakingly put on just hours before. He rolled Justin back under the cool sheets, and covered him up. He smoothed back Justin's hair and gazed at his face for a moment before smiling and shutting off the lights. Even though there were still so many things to be settled, Lance hadn't felt this happy in a long time.
-------- The next morning Lance awoke to the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. He wondered how Justin had managed to wake up before him, and glanced at the clock. It read 11am. He couldn't believe that he had slept so late, but the combined exhaustion of an emotional week and the previous two days' events had obviously taken their toll on him.
Justin emerged from the bathroom with a mouthful of toothpaste and the toothbrush dangling from his mouth. He grinned at Lance around his foamy mouth as he bent over his suitcase rummaging around for his cologne. He went back to the bathroom to rinse out the toothpaste and came back into the room.
"Good morning sleepyhead," he said as he ran some mousse through his curls. "Or should I say, good afternoon?"
"Oh please," Lance said. "You wake up before me ONE time, and you act like you won a marathon or something." Justin sat on the bed next to Lance and began to bounce it a little. "Come on, La-ance," he said in a childlike voice. "I wanna go play today. Get up!" He began to tickle Lance's sides and laughed in delight as Lance squirmed all around, laughing uncontrollably.
"Okay, okay, I'll get up!" Lance cried, trying to catch his breath.
He looked at Justin seriously. "There's just one thing I kinda need to talk to you about before we go off and have fun and pretend like nothing happened." Justin looked down at the bedspread. "Yeah, I figured this was coming," he said.
Lance grabbed Justin's chin and gently turned his face to so that their eyes met. "I want you to promise me that you're going to get help like the doctor told you to."
"I don't know if I can do that Lance. I mean, no, I don't want a repeat of the other night and I realize that I do have a problem, but I'm not sure if I can just go and spill my heart out to a stranger. I have no problem going to alcohol counseling or like AA or whatever, but please don't ask me to go to a psychologist," Justin begged.
Lance looked at the pleading look in Justin's eyes and felt his heart melt at the sight. But he knew that he had to stay strong in urging Justin to get help or they ran the possibility of having Justin fall right back in to the same routine.
"I'm glad that you're willing to get help for the drinking and all, but you and I both know that there's more to it than that," Lance said. "You need to talk to someone. You need to get to the root of it and deal with whatever it was that caused all of this to happen in the first place. Can you please just try to talk to someone?"
Justin shook his head. "I just don't think it would be helpful at all. I can't talk to strangers like that. You know how I am about trusting people. So why should I go and expect someone who doesn't even know me to be able to just magically solve all of my problems. I'd rather talk to someone I trust. Someone who knows ME for more than just this random set of problems that needs to be treated."
"You sound like you have someone in mind," Lance said.
"Well, I kinda do," Justin replied.
"Oh yeah? Who's that?" Lance asked curiously.
"You," Justin said.
Lance looked at him for a moment, shocked by the unexpected answer. "Oh, oh wow, okay, I just totally wasn't expecting that. But anyway, I'm not a professional. How do you know that I'll be able to help you?"
"Because I trust you with my life," Justin said, looking Lance straight in the eyes.
This wasn't something that Lance could argue with. "Okay," Lance agreed. "But promise me that if you don't start to feel better and you feel like things are getting bad again, you will go see a professional."
"I promise," Justin said sincerely.
"Okay then it's settled," Lance said. "Now let's get ready and go have some fun." Justin remained seated on the bed as Lance made his way into the bathroom for his shower. He couldn't believe how good it felt to have Lance around again. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed him, and how much he truly needed him. As he heard the shower start, Justin laid down on Lance's pillows and thought about the days and weeks to come. He sighed to himself and hoped that they wouldn't be as difficult as the past few months had been.
Well there you have it. I told you the fighting and unhappiness would be short-lived! I plan to have Chapter 4 out by Thursday or Friday. Don't hold me to it, but I promise to try my best. Send me feedback at teresa_8998@hotmail.com. Thanks!