When Nothing Goes Right

When Nothing Goes Right 16

Disclaimer- This story involves the love of two males so if this offends you then don't read. This story is totally fiction and not meant to reflect on anyone. And all the usual stuff applies lol.

Author's Note- Hey you guys this is my first attempt at a gay themed story, so bare with me and send feedback, tell me if I suck or if I'm any good. This is the last chapter of the story.

Join my yahoo group- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/deansplace/

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*This is dedicated to my friend Enrique, whose enthusiasm for this story kept me going on to finish. Without him I'd probably still be halfway done. Thank you to the original Gerber baby, bald headed, one-eyed pirate hooker lol

When Nothing Goes Right

Chapter 16

The next couple of days were the hardest I think I've ever faced. I was grateful that the love of my life was alive, it just sucked that he didn't remember me. He couldn't remember anything about his life. It was weird because he did remember basic stuff like math, how to read and write, what different things were and what they were used for. But he was like a different person. The doctors thought it might be a combination of the head trauma he received from the accident as well as his previous head trauma with the blackouts. He didn't have good use of his legs, the doctors said he would be able to walk again but most likely with a limp and he might need the aid of a walker or cane.

I was hesitant to be around him the first couple of days because I didn't quite know where I stood with him. He didn't even know who I was; he probably didn't even know he was gay for that matter. I avoided him during that time sticking to my room and would get updates from Zander's parents. They encouraged me to go visit but I told them I wasn't ready yet. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I loved him more than anything else in the world but I was scared to see him. I was scared of the hurt I would feel when I wouldn't see the recognition or the love in his eyes when he looked at me.

"Sky, honey, it would be great if you would come by tomorrow." Mrs. Daniels said to me after updating me on his condition.

"I don't know..."

"Look pretty soon you're gonna have to face him. He needs you even if he doesn't know it right now."

"I don't know how to act around him. I mean he doesn't know who I am. I'd have to pretend..."

"Sky we told him who you are, he knows you're his boyfriend. We brought him pictures."

"Really? What did he say?" I asked her.

"Well he's still confused, he said you were cute. If I ever doubted about Zander's sexuality I know now he was definitely born that way." She laughed.

"Well what is he confused about?" I asked as she walked to the door.

She looked at me in concern then said, "He's confused about why you're not around."

I looked down in silence as she closed the door to leave me to my thoughts. I felt bad, he was wondering where I was. Even though he didn't know me he didn't understand why I never came to visit. I had to be the worst boyfriend ever. I decided then and there to go and visit him. I had to throw my fears and concerns aside and just be there for him like I should have been from the start.

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The next day I went with his parents to visit Zander. They told me that he understood that I was still recovering from my own injuries and that's why I hadn't visited him yet. I know it was just an excuse they were using and I was grateful to them for that. It made facing him a little easier.

"We have a surprise for you, sweetie." Zander's mom said as she walked into his room. I waited outside feeling really nervous about his reaction to me.

"Oh hi, what kind of surprise?" I heard him ask.

"We brought you a visitor." Zander's Dad replied as his wife came to pull me into the room.

"Um, hi" I said a little timid as I hesitated stepping closer.

"Hello" He said to me. His face was neutral so I couldn't tell if he was happy to see me or not.

Mrs. Daniels pushed me to sit down at his side, and then said, "Sweetie, your dad and I will be right back."

"Okay", he said not taking his eyes off me.

He seemed to be drinking in my appearance, like he was trying hard to remember something very important. I put my hand over his and grabbed it, out of habit. That broke his concentration on me and he looked down at our hands. I reacted by snatching my hand away.

"Sorry, this must all be weird to you." I said not looking in his eyes.

"It's ok if you want to hold my hand, it's what we do right?" he said; bringing my eyes to his face.

I smiled "Yeah it's something we do a lot." I grabbed his hand again.

We stared at each other for a few seconds before it got awkward and I spoke up.

"So how are you feeling?"

"I could be better. I'm starting physical therapy soon. Apparently I'm going to have to learn how to walk all over again." He said his voice was neutral with emotion every time he spoke. At least that was something that never changed about him. He liked to hide his feelings even without his memories.

"Babe...Zan, you may not remember this but it's me ok, you don't have to hide your emotions from me. You can talk to me."

He stared at me in shock. "What...How..."

"Like I said it's me." I told him no longer feeling uncomfortable. This was the love of my life and I was going to help him in whatever way he needed.

He looked up at the ceiling and I could see him letting his mask fall, as frustration, anger, confusion, and sadness seem to go through him at once. I watched a tear fall down his eye. I reached up and wiped it away.

"I just feel like a big disappointment, to my parents, to the doctors, to myself, to you."

"Babe, listen to me you could never disappoint me."

"I don't blame you for not wanting to come see me."

"It wasn't..."

"No, you don't have to pretend. You were the first face I saw when I woke up. I know you were. I dreamed about you when I fell back asleep. I even saw you there when everyone else showed up the second time I woke up. I know because yours was the only face I remembered in the room. I didn't know who you were but I knew your face. I saw how disappointed you were when I couldn't remember anyone. I'm sorry I don't remember us." He turned away from me, the best he could with his injuries.

"Babe no, it's true I was avoiding you. Look at me..." he turned and looked at me. "I love you more than anything babe, the reason why I didn't show up till now had nothing to do with you. I feel responsible for what happened to you. I feel so guilty. I'm sorry babe for everything it's all my fault." I hid my face in my arms on is bed, and after a while I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"I don't blame you Skyler; I call you Sky right..." I nodded my head in my arms. "From what I've been told none of this is your fault. I believe that. You have to too okay."

I looked up at him and he smiled at me. I smiled back at him. We spent the remainder of the time reminding him about me and our relationship.

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The next few weeks I was in Zander's room everyday talking to him, helping him through his daily routine. It was still a little awkward between us; I kept my distance from him in terms of personal space. Not wanting him to feel uncomfortable, but I was there for him in any way I could be. Pretty soon he would be starting physical therapy and I wanted to help out.

"Ok, don't worry I got you." I said as Zander sat up to move from the bed to the wheel chair.

He was still pretty weak from being bed ridden for so long. I grabbed around his waist for support as he stood up. He leaned heavily into me as I sat him into the chair.

"Thanks." He had turned a little red. I wasn't sure if it was from the exertion or from embarrassment, I hoped it wasn't the last one because he had nothing to be embarrassed about.

I took him down to the second floor where the physical trainer talked to him about the different exercises he would be doing and the process that would get him back to walking on his own.

And so it began, three times a week I would take him down to Physical Therapy and help him in his exercises. His bones were pretty much healed and soon he would be able to support himself on his own for limited amount of time. The doctors had wanted to keep him in the hospital for observation because of the head trauma but it seemed that they were ready to release him from the hospital soon.

On one of his last visits to Phys. Therapy before he would be going home, I was helping his in an exercise that I did all the time with him; with him laying on his back I was pushing his each leg in a circular motion that simulated walking to get his muscles used to being used before he was ready to try actually walking.

He had been oddly quiet the whole time, and avoided looking at me. I could tell that something was on his mind.

"You must be happy to be going home and getting out of this place?" I asked him trying to start a conversation.

He glanced my way nodded and made noncommittal grunt, then looked away again. I stopped what I was doing, placing his leg gently down. I sat down next to him and reached up and ran my hand through his hair placing the strands behind his ear. He didn't react to me at all.

"Babe, what's wrong? What's on your mind?" I asked him.

He turned and looked at me. "Why are you still here?"

"What do you mean; I always help you with therapy unless you want someone else too..."

"No, I mean here with me?" he interrupted. I stared at him a little confused.

"I'm not sure what you're trying to say, you're my boyfriend where else would I be?"

"I just don't understand why you would be though, I'm damaged I can't remember you or our relationship. I only know what people tell me and I don't think it's fair to you. I can't kiss you or be intimate with you because I'm uncomfortable; you're like a stranger to me. I think you deserve better."

"Well that's one thing that hasn't changed you telling me what you think I deserve. But let me tell you something. I know what I deserve and I know what I want and I'm looking right at him." I said placing my hand on his cheek. He flinched away from my head and turned his head away from me.

"I don't think we should be together anymore. I think it's time for you to move on Skyler." His tone was neutral.

"It's Sky, babe, and what if I don't want to move on. I can wait babe, you'll get your memory back. You're worth it, you mean everything to me and I'm not going to give up on you." I said to him.

"I already have." He whispered. It was silent for awhile. I didn't know what to say to him, so I reached up to grab his hand. He moved it away from me.

"Don't...please, just leave." He whispered again.

"But Zan..."

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" he screamed bringing everyone else who was training attention to us.

I looked at him in shock, before I got up.

"If that's what you want." I said to him, he didn't say anything. I turned around and walked out without another word.

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I flew through the front doors of the house I had been calling my home for a little over a month but strangely felt like a stranger for the first time since before Zander and I got together. I had made a decision on the way home that I had over stayed my welcome and it was time for me to go home. I would beg my dad to let me stay if I had too.

"You're home early" Mrs. Daniels said to me from the living room as I zoomed up the stairs.

I had ignored her completely as I walked into my room to pack my bags. I knew she would be here in no time flat to see what was wrong.

"Skyler, honey, what's wrong. What are you doing?" she asked concerned.

"I..I just can't..." I said still going through drawers and throwing clothes into my bag.

"You can't what sweetie, what happened?"

"I can't stay here, I have to go." I shouted trying really hard not to break down in front of her. She came over quickly and put a hand on my shoulder to stop me.

"Tell me what is wrong, Sky!" She commanded but in a non threatening way.

I looked at her and froze and then I felt the tears coming down and I lost it. I broke down and she held me in her arms like any mother would her son. I grabbed on tight.

"He doesn't want me around; he doesn't want me at all. It's over. He told me it's over."

"Zander's just confused, honey. You have to give him time. He didn't mean it I'm sure." She said trying to comfort me. She held me for awhile to let me calm down and I after I did, I looked around my room as she waited for me to say something

"I just, I need to go home. Can you tell him I love him, for me?" I told her. She looked sad but nodded her head.

I continued packing as she closed the door to give me a little privacy. After I finished I went to say my goodbyes.

"You know our door is always open to you." Mr. Daniels said to me.

I nodded, then with one more glance I left to go home.

I sat in front of my house, in my car just staring at the front door. I was thinking I should have called first, but it was too late now. I slowly made my way out the car. As I walked up the front steps the door opened and my mom put her arms around me.

"Mom..." I started, tears streaming down again.

"Shh, baby it's ok. Janet called and told me. I talked to your dad, go ahead and go inside.

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Angie was at the hospital helping Zander to get ready to leave. The day had finally come for Zander to be released. The doctors thought that maybe in familiar surrounding it might help with the recovery of his memory. They also told Zander's parents that in some cases memory loss was permanent and the patient usually just had to cope and make a new start. Either way everyone including Zander was happy to be free of the hospital, though he would still have to comeback for regular checkups and Physical Therapy. He was still too weak to walk on his own but with the help of forearm crutches he could walk limitedly on his own.

With the paperwork signed off, Zander's parents, Zander, and Angie all loaded the car and left for home. There seem to be a lot of hope and excitement in the air that maybe Zander would recognize his home. She spent the car ride catching up and trying to re establish their bond as best friends, so that he felt more comfortable around her which it seemed like he did.

When they arrived at the house and got inside, Zander looked around in awe. It seemed nothing was familiar to him.

"Do we really live here?" Zander asked as his dad wheeled him in.

In his absence Zander's dad had set up a ramp up to the front door and they had bought a stair lift which was a chair with a seat belt that ran on a track up the stairs.

Zander's parents looked at each other in disappointment that he didn't recognize the house, and Angie quickly thought up something to change the subject.

"I thought Skyler would be here?" Angie brought up

Zander suddenly looked sullen.

"We'll leave you two. Angie can you make sure that he gets up the stairs ok?" Zander's dad instructed them on how to work the chair lift and then left them alone.

Zander struggled a little to get himself up and then sat on the chair lift. Angie, carrying his crutches, walked slowly with him as it took Zander up the stairs.

"So do you wanna talk about what happened?"

Zander avoided her gaze and kept quiet. When they reached the top Angie gave him the crutches and they walked slowly to his room. Zander stood in awe of his big bedroom and Angie let him take a second to let it all sink in but she wasn't going to let the subject drop.

"Zander! Talk to me, what's going on?" she demanded once Zander got to his bed.

Zander picked up the picture sitting on the bed side table. It was of him and Skyler, they seemed really happy together in the picture and he felt a little gloomy. Angie sat next to him on the bed, waiting for him to speak.

"It wasn't fair to him that I am broken. So I broke it off."

"WHAT? ZANDER!"

"You don't know what it's like for me!" Zander snapped. "I don't have any memories. I don't remember our relationship. I could see the hurt on his face every time he tried and wanted to get close and I flinched away because I was uncomfortable. It's better this way.

"Skyler thinks the world of you. You're probably hurting him more now. Zander, him being with you changed him in a positive way. Do you know what it was like for him before you guys got together?"

Zander looked down and shook his head. "He never mentioned his life before we got together."

"That's because he didn't really have one. His life started with you. Did you know you put him through hell when you guys first met? He was shy and uncomfortable in his own skin, uncomfortable around other people and when you guys first met you turned the whole school pretty much against him."

Zander's gloom started to deepen as he felt an odd pain in his heart as he heard these words. "Why would I do that?"

"You guys didn't start off as the best of friends. But then something happened. Zander before him you were ready to give up on love. But somehow he got under your walls and you the same for him and you guys found love." Zander started to tear up. "I've never seen a more perfect couple than the two of you."

Zander lay down and faced the wall in depression. Angie looked at him, and ran a hand through his hair. Then got up and went to the door. She opened the door then turned around and said "please, just think about it. Don't throw him away; he needs you just as much as I'm sure you need him. You just don't realize that yet." She walked out and closed the door.

Zander stayed like he was for a couple of hours thinking over and over again about Angie's words. He turned down dinner when his mom came to check in on him stating that he just wanted to sleep. It was late at night when he finally turned around on the bed and stared at the picture of Skyler and him. It was strangely familiar now that he really looked at it. Almost had a sense of déjà vu and he smiled at the warm feeling that washed over him as he looked at how happy they both seemed to be in that moment in time. He glanced to the side at a camera that was sitting next to the picture and reached over. He didn't know why but the camera also seemed familiar and he knew exactly how to work it. He switched it to playback mode and there were a dozen of pictures and videos.

He watched video upon video of him and Skyler together being silly, teasing, being intimate, being... loving. With each video he saw it seem to awaken things in him about Skyler. Not memories but feelings. He could feel that love that was expressed in each video, in each picture. It was like finding something in deep dense fog that finally cleared up and the realization of what he'd done really hit him and he broke down.

When he finally got himself under control he realized what he needed to do. He picked up the phone and searched for the right number.

"Angie? It's Zander, I know it's late but could you do me a favor?" he listened, "I need you to drive me somewhere."

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"I hope you know that I will not have that in my house." My dad said to me as we ate a late dinner.

I stayed silent not looking at him as my mom hissed his name and gave him a look.

"Are you listening Joel?" my dad persisted.

"May I be excused?" I asked my mom. She hesitated then nodded her head as I went to my room.

I sat on my bed my thoughts were with Zander. He was all I could think about. I knew he didn't really mean it. He just needed some space and I was happy to give it to him. I just hope his memories came back soon. I missed him so much and it killed me that I couldn't be there today when he got to go home.

Outside my room my parents were having another one of their talks about me. This happened pretty much every night. My dad was being pretty stubborn about it.

"I've done everything I could to make sure that you are happy. But some things are just too much." My dad whispered still at the table while my mother was cleaning up the table.

"He's our son. We're supposed to love him unconditional. Not just to make me happy. What about him being gay changes that? He's still our son, he's still the same boy you used to let ride on your shoulders, take to games, and whoever he loves doesn't change him."

My dad stayed quiet. "I'm getting really tired of this; you really need to get over yourself. Him being gay is no reflection of you, if that's what you're worried about. You need to..." My mom was interrupted by the door bell.

My dad jumped up to get the door; happy in a way to be saved by the bell. He quickly regretted that when he opened the door to see the cause of all this mess standing in front of him. He took in the sight of the boy that changed his son into the little fairy he was now. The boy looked bad, like he was sick and he was using special crutches to help him walk and stand by the looks of it.

"What do you want?" he sneered.

"Please, can I talk to Sky..." Zander started but was interrupted.

"And why would I let you do that."

"George!" My mother stated

"You caused enough trouble already, why don't you just go home." My dad started to close the door.

"No..." Zander threw himself into the door and with him being so weak he lost his balance and toppled over.

My mom cried out in shock and my dad looked down at him in surprised. I heard the commotion and stepped out my room into the hallway. I didn't want to make myself known so I just listened to what was going on but I couldn't see around the corner.

Zander took a moment to compose himself before he looked up at my father on the floor, he was more embarrassed then hurt.

"I just need to talk to him." I was shocked to hear Zander's voice in my house, I almost ran out to him but something held me back as I continued to listen to him speak. "I made a huge mistake. I need to tell him what he means to me. I may not have memories but I have these feelings inside me that wash over me every time I see him, every time I think of him that make me know what I feel for him. I know that I love your son and he loves me too. Everything just feels right like we belong together. I couldn't see that before but now I do. I know I'd do anything for him. I'd die for him if I had to. He needs to know that I still love him and I won't leave until I see him." He said with conviction.

"Let's get you off the floor." My mother said. I walked around the corner to see my dad hold her back.

"I'm not going to let you..." My dad started to say to Zander.

"I'm not going to give him up." Zander said stubbornly.

"George, this needs to stop." My dad turned to her and in that process caught me standing behind her.

He stared at me in disbelief. I took a step towards them. My mom and Zander both turned into my direction.

"Sky, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He said his eyes watering.

And that was it. That was all I needed to see, the love in his eyes. The truth in his words all there and I ran to him kneeling down to hold him in my arms on the floor. And he was crying and holding me tight. I smiled as I also had tears running down. Happy tears, I felt light; a great weight lifted from my shoulders.

"Shh babe. I know, I never doubted. I love you too."

"This will not happen in my house." My dad stated but with less conviction.

I glared over at him. "Dad, I'm not going to prove myself to you. This is who I am. This is who I love. Being gay doesn't define me it's just a part of me. And if you can't see past that, then I've lost all respect for you. I mean really think about it what about me loving another person is so wrong, why do you hate me so much for who I love? I love you dad but you know what I've learned; that the people who matter most are the ones who love you for you and not the people who try mold you into something that they can love. This is me, dad, so you can take it or leave it.

My dad stayed silent, thinking over what I just said. Then he looked at my mom, then back to me and the boy who I had in my arms that I loved more than anything. And he looked down in defeat and nodded his head. My mother breathed in a sigh a relief and hugged him very tightly.

Zander held me tighter as I closed my eyes to let the relief wash over me. When I opened my eyes, I took in Zander's eyes gazing back into mine. In that moment I knew I'd never love anyone as much as I did him and for some reason I felt that no matter what came our way as long as we had each other, nothing would ever go wrong again. Everything would be just right.

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Hey guys, Dean here...So that's it, the end of the journey that only took me about 4 years to write haha. Thank you for staying with me through it all. It has been fun. I have two new story ideas that I want to work on; one of them is outlined already, and the other one I want to work with a co writer, so if anyone is interested let me know. Feed back on this chapter and the story as whole would be greatly appreciated, so go back and reread it as a whole and tell me what u think. Send to adsherrill@msn.com, until next time I'll catch yall later.