I missed Susan terribly, of course. I thought about her constantly every day, remembering our times together and all of the ways she'd completely transformed my life. Then I jerked off to the very same memories every night. I didn't have any other close friends I could talk with, and my parents simply wouldn't understand. Mom would tell me it was just one of my pitiful little crushes I had to get over, and dad would get horny as soon as I mentioned anything about sex and stick his cock in my mouth.
But maybe he was on to sometime. I'd been hopelessly awkward, isolated, and lonely back when I was thirteen, and the answer to that had been as simple as giving head on a regular basis. I decided to try getting over Susan using cock therapy. And I had plenty of free time available now that school was out.
I cross-dressed full time at home, occasionally driving out of town with mom to shop or have lunch together. Ryan let me know about the parties which we still had every two or three weeks. Dad somehow needed even more blowjobs than usual and I was happy to oblige him. He seemed to get hard almost instantly and have massive loads for me whenever I was wearing Susan's lingerie. That was odd, since he hadn't cared all that much about what I was wearing earlier.
Maybe it was because I felt hotter when I was wearing her outfits. They reminded me of all the sexy times she had stroked my clit and teased me while I was sucking cock, so much so that I got hard just putting on her clothing. Before long I was wearing something of hers all the time, even if only nylons, garters, panties, and a bra under my boy clothes. I'd even dress that way on trips to the park restroom and strip down for the men once I got inside.
And that was the point when sissy cocksucking crossed over from being my favorite pastime to a genuine addiction. I was using it to fill the gaps in my life left by Susan, not just because of how much I enjoyed giving head. And it couldn't fill those gaps, no matter how many guys I sucked off. Soon I was at the park nearly every day, splitting my time between reading outside the restroom and giving blowjobs in the back stall just as long as possible.
School was out and I didn't need to study, so I also started taking long walks in the evenings dressed up in Susan's clothes. I usually ended up at the park, of course. The restroom had a different feeling at night, with only a single working lightbulb for dim illumination and lots of shadows. Guys were sometimes halfway drunk and much less careful about being discrete. It felt more like a small party, typically with one or two eager cocksuckers like me servicing a steady supply of men who just wanted to get off and treated us with about the same level of respect and consideration as the urinals.
It was a bit scary. I was the only teen and the only sissy, and men were always asking me if I wanted to fuck or go home with them. I tried to be a good girl and limit myself to sucking cock for an hour or two each night, but I certainly couldn't have stopped anyone if they forced me. Mom and dad surely knew what I'd been doing when I came home with a mix of smeared makeup and cum stains all over my face, but they never said anything.
It wasn't long before my good intentions were history. It happened on my third or fourth evening visit, when another cocksucker and I were sucking two guys side by side in the open area next to the sinks. I didn't know any of them, and the other cocksucker was entirely nude. I heard the man he was sucking groan as he came, which was hardly unusual. But in another minute I heard what sounded like a stream of water running and felt drops of a warm liquid sprinkling my face. I realized it had to be piss.
"Go back to the stalls, dude!" The guy in my mouth wasn't very happy about having his blowjob interrupted, since I had stopped sucking his cock to watch the golden shower going on right next to me. I knew that was rude, but I had never seen one before and couldn't help myself. The man who had cum had stepped back a few feet and was just pissing casually in the cocksucker's face, who had his mouth open and was swallowing much of it. But a fair amount ended up on his exterior, too, and some of it was still splattering on me. It went on for a long time until I knew that the man must be dispensing at least a few beers. And I finally realized why the floors in here sometimes smelled like stale urine.
"Hey, Twiggy! Are you going to suck my cock, or would you rather get pissed on?"
"Uh, I'm not doing that."
"You sure? You look pretty interested."
"I've just never seen this before. Really." A man was pressuring me into trying something incredibly nasty and I knew I was about ready to submit.
"I'll pay you for it."
I tried hard to resist the urge but I couldn't. Mom and Susan were like two little cartoon angels and devils fighting inside my head, and Susan won. It wasn't even all that close, honestly.
"OK, but please don't piss all over me like that. Mom wouldn't like it."
"Well, we wouldn't want a sweet little girl like you getting in trouble with mommy, would we?" He was pretty amused. "I can piss right in your mouth and pace myself, but you'll need to keep on swallowing to keep up. Ten bucks. Deal?"
"Um, yeah. Deal." I'd forgotten to negotiate.
The guy took some money out of his wallet and handed it to the other man, who was done pissing on his cocksucker by now. I gathered he'd give it to me once I'd kept my part of the bargain.
"Look up and keep your mouth open and tongue out. That way I can tell when you're getting full, and it's less messy if you spill a little." He was clearly pretty experienced at relieving himself in other people's mouths. I did as he directed, and he laid his cockhead on my tongue once he got a little softer. I could sense the two other guys watching us.
It seemed like a very long wait until he was relaxed enough to start pissing. But I certainly heard, smelled, felt, and tasted it when he finally let loose. The taste was new to me since I had honestly never played with my own piss—warm, salty, and a little bitter. It wasn't all that bad, really. The entire experience didn't seem too bad, in fact, which told me something. Susan was right that my initial phase of being shy and embarrassed about being used and exposed was long gone. At this point in the process I was stuck, anyway. All I could do now was comply if I didn't want to get drenched.
I thought that I might be starting to overflow, but then he paused the stream and lifted his cock up off my tongue. "Look at me while you swallow." I looked in his eyes and tried hard to smile afterwards. Then I opened my mouth again so he could go back to pissing in my mouth.
He really had to go pretty badly and I lost track of how many times I swallowed. It might have worked out to about a dollar a gulp. There wasn't anything I could do but continue. We had a deal, after all. I just kept doing what I'd been paid for and wondered why it didn't feel more humiliating.
I smiled for him again and threw in a meek "thank you" for good measure once he finally finished. The other guy gave me the bills and I put them in my purse. I knew how much I'd just been used and degraded, but still didn't feel particularly bad about it. I was docile and obedient, just like Susan had said, with a real need to be highly submissive to dominant men like this.
The night was still just getting started and two more guys were already waiting for blow jobs. They had been watching me drink piss and I realized that one of them was John. That type of exposure was finally a little embarrassing, but honestly not very much. He came over to me and I started sucking his big, beautiful cock with the aftertaste of pee still tainting my mouth. I was back in familiar territory. Giving head was what I liked and what I was good at, and when I swallowed John's load everything was finally all right. Piss drinking was suddenly just one more part of another fun evening satisfying men.
The little telltale urine stains were all dry by the time I got home, so I don't believe mom knew I'd done anything different. And I kept on going back to the park afterwards every few nights. Word spread quickly that I'd let men piss in my mouth if they paid me, so I found myself doing it again once or twice every evening. I really didn't mind all that much, and would have done it more if they'd asked me. I even did it once for John while another guy took pictures with his camera. It felt wrong taking money from a good friend who had done so much for me, but he still insisted on paying for some reason.
Mom and Susan were both right. Men did own you once you started taking money, but that was exactly what I needed. There wasn't any turning back. Guys expected it now and I just reflexively complied. My clit had decided that she liked it, too, and I'd jerk off in bed afterwards thinking about it.
Spending one or two hours at the park in the evening turned into two or three, and then into three or four. Guys offered to pay me for other favors, of course, particularly fucking. I didn't go for it. It sadly hadn't occurred to me that I might make some real money being a teen virgin. I was frankly getting ready to give it up, especially after what Susan had told me about sissigasms, but was still waiting for a more memorable occasion. An opportunity presented itself quickly enough.
[To be continued. Send comments to laceyfemme@yahoo.com, and please consider making a donation to Nifty at https://donate.nifty.org/ .]