WHY IS EVERYBODY ALWAYS FUCKING MY ASS?
by Jerry Weiss
Copyright July 2016 by Jerry Weiss. Do not read if you are prohibited from doing so in your jurisdiction. Please contribute to Nifty.
I'm really at my wit's end. I don't look for it, I don't want it, but every time I look around someone seems to have his cock up my 19 year old ass.
Take the other day when I went to visit my friend Tom at his cottage in the woods -- somehow within ten minutes of my arrival, I found myself naked and on my back with my legs in the air and Tommy nine inches deep in my butt. What the fuck is it? I can't help if I have the bubble butt ass of death, but that's not a license for every Tom, Dick or Harry to have his way with my tight, throbbing butthole!
Why just last week, this cop pulled me over on a lonely rural highway for "speeding" when I was going 45 mph, and threatened to ticket me. I can't afford no tickets, so I asked him if there was anything I could do so's I wouldn`t get one. He said, well, you could pull down your pants and lean over the car so I can fuck that fine ass. Damn! Even our trusted law enforcers can't seem to control themselves in the presence of my rear end.
Not to mention the hypocritical religious. Last Tuesday, two young Mormon "elders" were talking to me on the sidewalk and suggested that we continue our conversation in this little alleyway. They walked me behind a dumpster, and while all the time continuing their preaching about how Mormonism was the true Christian way, undid my pants and took turns putting their Utah cocks to my tight boy slit.
I have to admit that my ass is a really prime example of a flawless, smooth, peachy young behind, but guys, control yourselves! Would you believe --- last month I went to a bath house to get some steam and was resting in my room on my stomach with the door ajar to get some air, and wouldn't you know, within minutes some big-cocked bruiser was plowing my rectum really hard. And he was followed by ten others!
Dudes! I admit I'm gay, but hell, I'm a total top! I fuck, I don't get fucked. I mean I have muscles up the bazonga and a beer can dick with bull balls, why anyone could mistake me for a male version of a twat is beyond me!
I went to a hockey game the other night, what could be more masculine than that? When I visited the locker room to congratulate my team on their win, I was gang-raped! All these scruffy big guys took turns scoring goals in my puck, and when they were through the last guy said that I should check out my "cunt" in the mirror, that I had a cream pie that looked like I had been fucked by the entire Russian army. I don't deserve that. I mean enough is enough, my ass is not a public convenience!
I spoke to coach to try to explain why I wasn't producing on the field, that it was because these horny guys are using up all my practice time screwing my glutes, and he asked to see the source of all this uncontrolled sexual abuse, and when I showed him my ass, darned if he didn't push me across the desk and fuck me too!! There's just no end to it, no relief. I'm beginning to think other men just see me as a hole.
I think I could go to the mayor, my senators, my representative, and all that would happen would be that they would end up screwing me too. If I went to court to get a restraining order, I think I'd get fucked by the judge!
Well, if that's how it's going to be, I think I'm going to go professional and make money on my asset, if you get my drift. First off, I'm going to insure my ass with Lloyds of London. Then I'm going to start charging. If I can't beat them off, they can pretty darn well start stuffing my apparent male snatch with Benjamin Walkers --- oops, sorry, Benjamin Franklins, after they've shot their loads in my velvet glove.
It shouldn't take much advertising with pictures of my "pussy" to bring in the johns. I have enough evidence that my boy twat is irresistible. One look and the dude's cock will be so itchy to penetrate my cunty asslips that he'll be willing to part with some do-re-mi. Why not take advantage of your special natural attributes while you have them to provide for your future?
Why is everybody always fucking my ass? Because they're paying me $200 for the privilege. Way to go, ass!