Wilfred

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Chapter Six: January

We returned up the hiking path through the park, stumbling in the dark, and finally made our way to the car. When Scott jumped in the car he said cheerily "How are the lovebirds?" We both turned around to thump him. He threw up his hands and just laughed at us.

David said, "Well, I guess fine, mostly. How about a late night snack? On me." I drove to Foster's Freeze, the oldest place I could think of in the area; it had been around when my father had been born, so somehow it seemed authentic, real California stuff.

"Scott, we need to borrow your bedroom for a couple of nights while David is here."

"What? Eeew, no way. Gross."

"Why, what's wrong?" David asked.

"I don't want your nasty DNA all over my sheets."

"You are making an assumption."

"Oh sorry, I see, you guys want the twin beds instead of Paul's big queen bed?"

"Right."

"But, Paul's a queen, and so I thought..."

"Very funny, moron, shut up!" I shouted at Scott.

"OK, no problem, but you guys have to change the sheets later."

"Sheesh, you don't get it do you?"

"No guess not, but I can make an assumption can't I?"

"Dream on."

We got home just as Emily was pulling in the driveway, and so all of us piled into the living room at the same time. Dad was asleep in his big chair, and Mom had gone to bed. Dad greeted us and turned to go to the master bedroom down the hall, and then stopped and turned around and said "Everybody alright?"

We assured him we were all great, and he kind of `harrumphed' at us, and went on to bed. I assumed he meant where are the two big boys sleeping, but did not want to discuss it with anyone at that moment, so David and I took off and went on upstairs to Scott's bedroom.

Within a few minutes, we had brushed teeth and jumped into the two twin beds in Scott's room, turned out the lights, and settled in for a long winter's rest, as they say. I was just about to drift off to sleep when I heard David stirring. As I turned to see if he needed anything, he was opening the covers to my bed, and climbing into bed with me.

"I thought you wanted to try to be Mr. and Mrs. Chaste for the time you are here?"

"Fat chance."

He thrust himself in my direction, and I slid my hand down the front of his crotch and found exactly what I had expected. He crawled in beside me, and we held each other lying on our sides, face to face. He kissed me, and we as quietly as possible began fondling each other, my erection suddenly standing up at attention must faster than normal. He kissed me again, and said very quietly, "I don't know what to do."

"What do you want to do?" I asked David.

"Well, is there a menu?"

"David you crack me up. Here, let's try this."

And I slid out of bed, turned around so we could 69, and got back into the bed and as quietly as possible began to manipulate our cocks so that we could suck each other. He had no idea what to do next, nor did I exactly, but I figured that Nature would soon lead us down the right path. And that is exactly what happened.

He took my cock into his mouth, and I was breathless; he was wonderful, sliding his tongue along my shaft slowly, carefully, and sucking it in as if it were his last breath. I was trying to do the same things to him, but it was so distracting, having a man sucking my cock for the very first time in my life, I could not concentrate on how wonderful it was to have his cock in my mouth.

Finally I stopped sucking him and just let him have me, and after a couple of minutes he stopped and pulled off me and asked "Is something wrong?" and I said "No, babe, I just get so crazy, you are wonderful, are you OK? Is this OK for you?"

He said "Of course", and continued sucking me. I went back to work on his cock as well, and within a few minutes, he was bucking into me, and I now realized we were not prepared for the inevitable: when we came, where would that go? Poor Scott, he was right, it was DNA time! I pulled off David and I said "I am about to cum" and he nodded, and then he pulled off of me, and said "Me too", and so we rolled onto our backs and jacked off, and it was all of a sudden a mess on our stomachs, rather than in each other's mouths.

He laughed, softly. "That was amazing."

"Not `wow'?" He laughed at me again.

I grabbed a couple of dirty socks from the floor, knowing that using Scott's gym socks was never a wise decision, but in the moment we had little choice. We both giggled, and threw the socks as far under the bed as possible. In a few minutes, we were both asleep, holding each other.

Amazingly, it was Scott who was the first one up the next morning, and he woke us by rummaging around in his room for clean clothes, a project in itself in his room. He tried to stifle a laugh as he saw us cuddled together in the one bed, and when he left the room and closed the door he laughed out loud. Mom called up the stairs a few minutes later, and we went down to breakfast in jeans and t-shirts, and then after breakfast got in the shower. To make everyone else comfortable, we showered separately.

Our plan that day was to go up in the mountains, not as far as Lake Tahoe, but past Folsom and up into the redwoods that grow on this far side of the valley. Dad had a certain favorite fishing hole, and I had a hard time finding it at first, so it was way past lunch when we got there, but the beauty of the spot and the day and the calm California winter weather made a very special time for us. We went hiking for about an hour, and finally stopped for a rest and our picnic which Mom had fixed for us.

"I could really get used to this California-style winter" David said. "It's much better than Japan."

"No kidding, that night in the blizzard I thought we were going to die."

"You know if we had not had that blizzard..."

"What?" I thought I knew what he was thinking, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"Well, I was just thinking that was the moment that really brought us together."

"Hhmm."

He looked at me, and smiled, and stood up to kiss me, and then we headed back down the creek toward the meadow where we had parked the car.

"Last night was amazing" he said. "Maybe we should just go ahead and sleep in your room in the queen bed."

"Sure, and then Mom will come into the room in the morning to make the bed and clean the room and then what?"

"Oh yeah."

"But yeah, last night was great. I can't wait to hold you in bed again tonight."

David looked thoughtful; "I was wondering, is there a book or something?"

"A book? For what?"

"Sex."

"Probably, I think there is a book for everything, cake decorating, how to get a divorce, how to groom a dog."

"So then there is a book on how to do it?"

"Do it? Like have gay sex?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I know this bookstore, we can go look there."

"Cool. And while we are out, can we have dinner in town? I want to take you out on a date."

"Really? How cute."

"No, I am not trying to be cute, I am serious, we have never had a real date, you know, go out and do something, so maybe that's a step toward that thing we both want?"

"OK Mr. Branson, I accept. Take me out on our first date."

"What do you like?"

"Food? Or what?"

"Food silly, I know some of the other stuff."

"Just about anything, Italian, steaks, Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Mexican, you name it. And in Sacramento we can get all of those, just depends on what you want."

"French?"

"Sure. We can even get a little dressed up if you want?"

"Your folks won't get suspicious?"

"Don't think so, let's go."

"French it is."

We enjoyed the rest of the day driving back down to the valley, and when we got home I looked up a French restaurant, a bistro with a large menu, and by 8 PM we had showered, dressed, and said goodbye to the family and were on the road to Le Fontaine. It was in the lobby of the Capitol Hotel, near downtown, and we had a great time. The waiter asked if we wanted wine, and David started to say "No thanks, we are Mormons", but it made both of us laugh.

I skipped the escargot appetizers, and had crepes instead, and we shared a main course of coq au `vin, which made David giggle over the name, as the waiter pronounced it. "We get that reaction a lot", he smiled at us. It was pretty obvious we were on a date. I was just wondering what kind of reaction we might get from Mom and Dad if they could see us now, when in walked the stake president and his wife. I did not know whether to die on the spot, or run for the back door.

President Jenson headed straight for our table. I stood and shook hands with him and his wife, and introduced "Elder David Branson" from Salt Lake City, and they went on to their table in a far corner, and we tried to enjoy ourselves as unobtrusively as possible. "What are the chances?" David said, and we both started laughing.

I laughed even harder when David asked, "So, the bookstore next?"

We spent about an hour wandering through the aisles of the porn bookstore and David was fascinated by all of it, and then when I introduced him to the video booths, he was blown away; like me, he had never experienced anything like it. We went in and slipped a dollar bill into the first booth, and stood together watching a male couple fucking, and David kept saying "Wow." I rubbed the front of his pants, and he was indeed hard.

"So, has any of this helped to educate you?"

He laughed. "I certainly never imagined any of this existed" he admitted.

We bought a book titled The Joys of Gay Sex, and he was happy that he had some homework to do. On the ride home, he said "You know this does not automatically mean that we are going to jump into bed and try all of these positions."

"And, why not?" I asked, mock offended.

"Well, we have to have some surprises, don't you think?"

"I just think being with you is the most surprising thing in my life, and so whatever you want is going to be good enough for me."

He smiled at me and kissed my cheek. "You are a foolish romantic, you know that?"

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I hope it never changes" and he kissed me again.

When we got home, Mom was still awake, and she asked what we had done and David quickly replied "Oh, just dinner and a movie." I instantly started laughing, and we went up the stairs to bed. Before we left the room, she said the cousins all wanted to go up to the mountains and find snow tomorrow, and we were invited to go along. David was not very excited about snow, having already experienced more than a month of it in Utah, but was willing to be a sport and go along if that is what I wanted to do. We decided that might be fun for just a day, so planned on getting up early to drive with Emily and Scott.

We did not even pretend to try to sleep in the separate twin beds in Scott's room; David undressed and hopped into bed with me, and we held each other for a long moment, just languishing in the feeling of being together, being close, and feeling each other's warmth. His skin was amazingly soft for the jock body he sports, and his kisses were equally soft. We turned to face each other and kissed, and soon I felt his hardness rubbing into my own.

"You are easy" he laughed.

"You make it easy" I retorted.

"Is this my fault?"

"David, seriously, there are days just thinking about you makes me hard. If you want to take the blame for me being hard most of every day, then go ahead. But, so far, this is the most amazing experience of my life, and if we end up having a relationship, if we end up together, then this is exactly what I have wanted all of my life. So yes, then, this is your fault."

"Paul, shut up and kiss me."

I complied. I kissed his lips lightly, I kissed his eyes, I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his ears, his neck, and his nose. When my lips returned to his, he was a willing and fervent participant, and we kissed more passionately than I think we ever had. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a firm embrace, until I thought I would stop breathing. And then he slowly turned his back to me, and asked me to hold him. In that position, my cock had no choice but to run up into his ass crack.

He moaned. "Harder" he moaned. I pushed into him slightly, both of us still dressed in our temple garment underwear. The fabric resisted my advance into his ass. He was breathing hard, and he moaned again: "Paul, make love to me."

I stopped moving. The world had stopped revolving at that moment. I did not know what to do; I wanted to make love to this man more than any other thing that had ever happened in my life. It was not that I did not want to, or even that I did not think that I could not do it or that I did not know how, but the world stopped for a few brief seconds, and I pulled his chin toward me and kissed his face and his lips and looked into his eyes. What I saw was desire, lust, passion, and fear and excitement and longing. What I wanted to see was love.

"David, if I make love to you, I want you to know it is love. I have not said it to you because of what you said to me the other day about taking things slowly. I wanted to tell you `I love you' the other day, but I made myself wait. Babe, I do want to make love to you, and I want it to be special for both of us."

"Do you have to analyze everything?"

"Sorry."

"Paul, make love to me."

We got undressed, I fumbled around in the pocket of my slacks for the free sample of lube the bookstore clerk had given us, and we got back into the twin bed and began kissing. He held my face with both of his hands, lying on his back with me lying on top of him, and we kissed for a long minute, deeply, slowly, softly, both of us on fire. This was not going to be a slam-fest taken at lightning speed; this was going to be slow, deliberate, and amazing.

I kissed down his chest, taking each nipple into my lips and sucking on them, his moaning guiding me to be slightly blunter, and then continued kissing down his chest and his stomach to his navel. When I reached his cock, he was ready, already leaking pre-cum, pulling his cock upwards with his hand to manipulate it toward my face.

We were having fun, this was not as serious as I had imagined in all of those late nights when I had jacked off imaging my first time with a man. I took his cock into my mouth, and sucked long and hard and slow, going slowly up and down his shaft, taking it as deeply into my throat as I could without gagging, and playing with his foreskin, rubbing his cock around inside my mouth like a giant fleshy lollipop.

His moaning got louder, and I slowly moved my hand over his mouth, lightly, just a little warning, not forceful. He continued moaning, but it changed to a more guttural, low-key, animalistic sound, like the low growl of a large dog. A Labrador. I was having the time of my life, controlling my movements to coincide with the heart-beats of his cock.

He began panting "Baby, please, now, please make love to me." I got up on my knees, moved so that he could roll over, and turned him on his side and moved his upper leg and knee toward his chest, exposing his ass toward me. I fumbled around in his crack and found his hole, and he gasped. I pushed a little of the lube out of the pouch, and its coldness hit his hole making him gasp again, and I plunged my finger inside of him. I squeezed a little more lube into his hole, and then a larger amount on my throbbing cock, and kneeling over him, both of his legs captured between mine, I kneeled downwards to try to find my target with my cock.

When the tip of my stiffness hit his hole, he gasped again, and I said "I am going to be slow, baby, tell me if I need to wait for you." He said "Go ahead, lover, I want this, I want you." I was amazed at his wording, but assumed it was the passion of the moment that was causing this change in him.

I pushed my cock into him slowly, centimeters at a time, glacially slow, trying to feel my way inward and not hurt this man whom I adored. He was whimpering, and I could not tell if it was pain or pleasure; for me it was pure pleasure, and I loved every tiny little slide into his ass, matching my advances with his moans and his shudders. I could not hear any distinguishable words coming from him, he had turned his face down into the pillow. Finally, I was deep inside of him, just resting, my entire cock engulfed by his ass, and on my knees and hands, just waiting for him to signal to me that he was ready for more.

After almost a minute, he began to buck slightly under me, moving his own ass up and down, making me slide inside of him slightly more, and the motions made us both suddenly hotter, suddenly more passionate, and the moment suddenly came alive with our needs and I began thrusting inside of him, nearly withdrawing, plunging forward again, and the deep plunges made him gasp sharply and moan deeply into the pillow. I thought I could hear him saying "Oh God oh God" but the sounds were indistinguishable, muffled by the pillow and by the movements and by the fire inside of us, and they were the same sounds I would be making if I dared.

In what seemed like hours, hours of fire and lava and fireworks and shooting stars and explosions, we fucked, my cock deep inside of David, wanting him forever, claiming him, marking my ownership, but I am sure it was over in minutes, my cumming inside of him like an avalanche, slowly building and then finally becoming uncontrollable and inevitable, nothing I could have done would have stopped it, and it seemed to go on forever like a giant ocean wave. I was poised above him, my cock still hard and still buried in him, and he was shuddering and moaning, panting, sweating, and then trying to turn to see my face.

I slowly pulled out of him, and he whimpered again; "I hate that" he said, and I froze.

"You hated it?"

"No silly," he laughed, "I hate it that you pulled out of me."

"Oh, god, I thought you meant what we did. I thought you hated the whole thing."

"Nope, you passed. Grade `A'. Congratulations."

"David, stop trying to be funny, I loved it, but I seriously need to know how you are feeling?"

"Babe, it was my first time of course so I have nothing to compare it to except how I have imagined it to be, but baby if you can do that to me every time, you need to be in the movies!"

"Wow."

Then he started to laugh out loud and I had to cover his face with my hand to keep the noise down, and we both started laughing, and I fell down beside him and he grabbed me and we cuddled for a few minutes, and then I kissed his face and I asked him "Seriously, are you OK?"

"Never better. I know I am going to not be able to sit down for a few days, but I thank you sir, and my ass thanks you, and my whole heart thanks you", and he kissed me. "But Pauly, I have a question for you."

"Sure."

"Did you like it? Was I good for you?"

"David, you have fulfilled every fantasy I have ever had about this, and about you, so just shut up, you are wonderful."

"Good, because now it's your turn."

"I was hoping you would say that."

He was a little clumsy finding my hole and entering me, and it was a tightness and a burning that I had not anticipated, but when he was finally inside of me, completely filling me in a way I had also never anticipated, the feeling was delicious and energizing and fantastic and hot and lustful and I just wanted him to fuck my brains out all night. Having just fucked him a few minutes before I knew it would not go on all night, but in my dreams it will go on forever.

We made love that second time, David inside of me, in much the same way he had enjoyed my cock in him, but since he is a little thicker than me, it was probably longer before the discomfort turned into pleasure, but by the time he flooded his cum inside of me, I wanted that cock forever, never to leave me, and fully physically, emotionally, and lustfully understood why he complained when I pulled out of him.

"You OK?" he asked as we rolled over and lay side by side.

"No."

"What?" he asked in a startled voice.

I chuckled. "How can I be OK? We stopped."

He laughed. We had crested the Moon, and lay there arm in arm and fell asleep. In the morning Scott awakened us as usual, and just stood there laughing at us, and when I tried to find a shoe to throw at him, succeeded in only pulling off the covers and exposed both David and myself in our nakedness, both with stiff morning wood, and Scott began yelling "Whoa, tigers, put those guns away!" and backed out of the room.

As we grabbed a quick breakfast in the kitchen with Mom and Emily, Scott said "Man it was hot upstairs last night."

"Why, was the furnace on again?" Mom asked.

"Must have been, because it sure was hard to sleep last night" he retorted.

David faced away from my mother and looked me in the eyes and had a worried frown and did not say anything, but had that questioning look in his eyes and with both eyebrows raised.

"I will be sure to check it tonight" I offered, and Emily just giggled.

We left for the snow, and in the car Emily was still giggling. "Yep, kinda hot last night" she said.

"OK, I gotta ask, since you guys seem to be having a lot of fun, what the joke is about?" David asked.

"David, darling, please don't try to act all innocent around us, we are practically family, you know, and when you guys were playing that old Japanese game of the Dragon with Two Backs, it was a little obvious" Emily explained.

"Oh God!" David and I shouted at the same moment.

Emily and Scott broke into loud laughter. "At least you broke the mold finally" Scott said.

Neither David nor I could say anything, we just sat there blushing, until finally he started laughing. "Yeah, well, sorry kids, it was my fault, I have to confess, I forced Paul to do it. He resisted like a storm trooper, but I finally won."

"Bullshit" Scott shouted, "I call `Bullshit', you guys have been hot for each other since forever."

"Yeah." David and I stared at each other. "Guess you are right," David replied. "Kinda nice, huh?"

"So when is the date?" Emily asked.

"Date?" Both David and I were confused.

"The wedding. When are you guys getting married?"

"Ah. Yeah, uhm, well, we have not really talked about that, just kinda taking it real slow right now, you know, college and all that, uhm..." David was fumbling for an answer.

"Bullshit!" Scott exclaimed again. "Did not sound very slow last night!"

David and I blushed all the way down to our toes. "I am going to stop this car and thrash you" I said to Scott.

"As long as you don't use that monster you thrashed David with!" Scott laughed.

Emily said "Well, maybe we can change the subject, but really, Paul, and David, please know that we love you both and if there is anything we can do to help, just tell us. We are happy for you."

"Yes, you can gag your brother" David said, laughing.

"OK," Scott instantly replied, "as long as you don't gag me with that thing you gagged Paul with last night!"

"Oh god, enough Scott" Emily commanded. "I am not naïve, but enough with the peepee jokes."

"Oh, Sis, you should have seen them this morning when I woke them up, those things aren't peepees, those are weapons."

"Jealous?" she asked.

We all groaned.

We had a wonderful day with all of our cousins, except of the course the southern California cousins, Aunt Zoe's kids. We laughed and played and got frozen and threw snowballs at everyone, a great big game of murder ball, and finally headed down the mountain about mid-afternoon and decided to find a pizza joint.

None of the cousins put David on the spot by asking all of the embarrassing questions, and we had a very relaxed time. I had been fearful that this might turn out to be another `Jeopardy' game with all of them asking questions, but it was pretty low-key.

We got back about dark to the farm, and Mom had a big beef stew dinner with biscuits ready for us. Dad and Grandpa had been out of town again trying to buy cattle, and were expected back in about an hour.

We sat with Mom in the kitchen at the table, being lazy after a very active day, and she started to ask David the questions I had feared the cousins would ask. She asked about David's family, his college major, how he and I had met, his experiences in Japan, and his career ambitions. She asked about his mother and father, and in every case, David was straight forward and accommodating with his answers.

He of course skirted the finer details of our time together in Japan, and merely hinted that we had spent a few months together in the worst part of the winter in the mountains, but the rest of the time we had not seen much of each other. I had a hunch that answer unfortunately left a few more questions in my mother's mind.

Dad and Grandpa came in a few minutes later, just as we were starting to eat, and we had a nice chat with them about the cattle business, which was new to our farm operations. David had a lot of questions for them about the farm in general, and the cattle business and a few pointed questions about financial margins in the farming industry, and the way in which farmers had to go about managing financial resources.

He sounded very knowledgeable, and Grandpa asked David how he knew so much, and he responded that he had only begun to learn about it when he took a couple of economics course at BYU and was kind of interested in perhaps pursuing an economics major when he returned to school.

I watched my family intently to try to notice any signs they might give off about their feelings about David. I was also fearful that they might have some suspicions about my relationship with David, so I was watching them intently for that as well. Grandpa seemed to be merely interested in David's career thoughts, and Dad as usual was a stone, you always had a hard time telling what his thoughts or feelings might be at any one time.

Dad asked David a couple of questions about his family, and Mom cut in that she had already grilled David, and she would fill in Dad later. David said he did not mind, but the matter dropped when Dad asked me how our day had gone and what plans we had for the next day.

I told him that we had not planned anything yet, that maybe we might go to San Francisco and Dad said that would be fine, especially since he wanted me to gather some materials for him from a farm supply store over in Davis. While we were there, he wanted us to go to the University and get some information on a few crops, so then David and I agreed we would go to the Bay tomorrow.

Dinner over, David offered to wash the dishes for Mom and although she protested, he insisted, and so both of us spent another hour in the kitchen cleaning things up, and Mom and Dad and Grandpa went into the family room to watch TV. As usual, by the time we had finished, the two men were asleep and Mom was working on a quilt. How Mormon.

David and I told her we were tired and heading for bed after a very active day and went upstairs. As we were leaving the room, she called after us "Be sure to check the heat up there" and we laughed and blushed.

Once in the bedroom, David asked me if I thought we could sleep in the queen bed in my room for a change. I said that would be fun, and we went to the room next door and undressed and jumped into bed. Scott was out with friends, and we hung a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door I had stolen from a hotel in Las Vegas from a family vacation when I was a teenager. As we lay together in the big queen bed, arms around each other, David asked "How are you feeling babe?"

"You know David, truthfully, I am feeling two or three things. First, I have never felt better in my life. This has been a wonderful vacation, I am so glad you came down from Utah, and I never want you to leave. Next, I feel really horrible that you have to leave, because I want this to go on forever, but I remember what you said about taking it slow, and about not being sure of your own gayness, and about wanting to figure out what your own life is all about. I honor that, and I do not want to make any demands on you or set up any expectations that cannot be fulfilled and then end up hurting either one of us. Third, I guess I am kind of scared about my own future too, and although I told my Grandpa I was interested in law school, I am not sure that is true as yet, but I still need to finish my college degree and then see what's next."

"What is next, Paul?"

"What do you mean? Do you mean us?"

"Well, yes, and then the rest of the world. Yeah, there is the `us' part, but we also have to live in a world that is not completely friendly, especially to gay couples, even though we have not said we are a couple as yet, but do you know what I am trying to say?"

"I think so, baby, let me see if I can figure this out. First, here we are two young gay men, Mormons at that, and have to deal with a world that is potentially hostile to gays, especially to gay couples. You remember that gay Mormon guy that committed suicide a few years ago down in southern California on the church steps?"

"Yeah I heard a little about it, it was a news storm in Utah, and you can imagine what everyone up there was saying."

"I bet it was not warm and fuzzy?"

"Nope. Right on."

"So" I continued, "second we have to deal with the usual growing up kind of stuff, college, starting careers and that stuff. That takes time, and thought, and planning, mainly because I am not even sure yet what I want to do with my life- except love you."

"Sweet!"

"Yeah, glad you think so. Anyway, there is also the hardest part, the church. We have not even talked about the Mormon part, and there you are at BYU, the throbbing heart and soul of Mormon culture, the great bastion of heterosexual Mormonism, the Mommy-mill. Doesn't it get to you?"

"Yeah, sort of, I have to be really careful."

"I can only imagine. Here at Sacramento State University, I am just a face in the crowd, I don't know how many gay guys there are, probably a few, but I am pretty sure there is only one gay Mormon returned missionary!"

David laughed. He hugged me tighter, and kissed my cheek. "Baby, I know you are a very strong person, I realized that a year ago at midnight during a blizzard." I started to cry.

"Hey, what's this?" he asked, wiping my tears.

"Just remembering all of those feelings I had back then, and all of the things we have done, and have experienced, and been forced to experience. So on that topic, we have some unfinished business."

"Like what?"

"Remember that really rainy day in March when you were in northeast Sendai and Turner and I came to visit you? And you looked horrible and were sleeping, and we took you to lunch, and your comp was gone out with the zone leaders and you were all alone? What was that about?"

David blushed. "We had a fight."

"A fight? You mean with fists?"

"Yeah. He called me a fag, and I took a swing at him, and he hit me in the face, and then ran out the door like a little pussy, and I did not chase him, and he went and found a phone and called the zone leaders, and they came and got him."

"You know I was in the mission office at that time, and we never heard anything about it, how come? That kind of thing always hits the mission office, and the missionary rumor mill too!"

"The zonies decided to keep it quiet, they did not report anything to Wagner and Komatsu, so we all just let it slide. I was going home in a couple weeks, so they did not want any trouble. You know President Honda, `just bring me solutions', and all that."

"Baby, I am so sorry that happened."

"The zonies split with us after that, they took my comp with them on the road, one at a time, and the other zone leader stayed with me. It worked out, it was awkward for a while, but actually we all kind of got along after that."

"Funny the assistants did not hear anything, being as close as they were, right in Sendai."

"Yeah well you know Wagner had his nose up the President's ass so far he did not see daylight, he thought he was going to be sent straight to Salt Lake City and become a General Authority. So he had no time for little fags like me."

"Don't say that."

"It's true, he was like that."

"I meant don't say `fag', babe."

"Oh, sorry, you offended by that word?"

"Kinda, yeah, got it a lot in high school."

"You see, Paul, that's another thing, you are so different from me in so many ways. Farm boy, grew up knowing you are gay, the California thing, big old traditional family wrapped up tight in so many generations and cousins and stuff, sweet brother and sister, and you are freaking bright and smart and funny and you know what you want. I am really different from all that."

"Explain?"

"Well, first there is my family, my Dad's side is long-time Mormons, my Mom's family is not Mormon at all except her, she and my dad met when he was a missionary and she became a convert. She is from Atlanta, he is from Salt Lake City, so there is one thing. Then, the divorce, you know that affected a lot of things in my life. Being split from my Mom and my sisters, so we are not as close as all of you guys in your family."

"I see."

"Then, being a city boy of course, and also loving the outdoors, going hiking a lot, skiing, being a jock, being a Utah boy, that all means something I guess, not sure what, but it is obvious that life in California is nothing like Utah. In fact, people in Utah kinda look down on Californians like they are all hippies or surfers or something."

"I get it, I guess."

"I know, Paul, you and your family are nothing like hippies or anything like that, it's just a Utah misperception."

"We are just farmers."

"Yeah, and see, that is something that I think is really cool, like, you guys actually produce something, not just have these horrible corporate jobs, pushing money around, it's what I think is unique about you."

"I guess."

"Don't downplay it, Paul, it's true, you are unique, and so is your family."

"Thanks, I guess? So baby I have a couple of questions for you, is that OK?"

"Sure. And why do you keep calling me `baby'?"

"I don't know, I guess it feels good. You want me to stop?"

"Never."

I smiled, and I breathed a sigh. He pulled me tighter and kissed me again. Just then the door opened, and Scott stepped in. He saw we were awake and talking and not naked, and he took a step forward and asked "Hey guys, sorry, did not expect to see you in here, is it alright if I come in? I need some clothes."

"Sure," David answered for us, and then Scott came over and sat on the edge of the bed. "Can I ask you guys something?" I was suddenly afraid.

"Sure," David answered again, "we really like you Scott, so shoot, anything you want." I looked at David and wondered what was going through his head, as well as Scott's.

"Well, it's like this, there is a girl in school, and she is not a Mormon, and I really like her a lot, and I know Mom is going to kill me when she finds out."

"Finds out what?" I asked.

"Finds out she is pregnant."

"No shit?" I sat up straight in bed.

Scott started laughing, "Gotcha!" he shouted. "No, nothing like that, we have not even dated yet, but I am just afraid Mom is going to have a hissy fit when she finds out. What should I do?"

Before I could say anything, David said "Scott, always follow your heart. No matter what. Follow your heart, not just in love, but in everything. Your career, your family life, your personal life, everything. You won't go wrong."

"David, is that what you are doing?"

There was a long pause, during which time I died a thousand deaths. "Yes. I am here in this bed tonight with this man, because I did exactly that."

"Wow." Scott stole my best phrase.

David pulled me into another tight embrace and kissed me. On the lips. In front of my brother.

"Get a room!" Scott shouted, and then laughed. "Hey, thanks, guys, and can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"Love you guys, and I am happy for you. And David, I still reserve the right to kick your ass if it ever needs it. Do not, I repeat, do not hurt my brother."

"Promise, Scott."

I was crying.

When Scott closed the door, David said "Where were we? What were we talking about?"

"We were right here" I said, and kissed him.

"Oh yeah, that!" and he kissed me back, slowly, lovingly.

I sat up and turned to look at him. "David Branson, I have been waiting all my life for this moment, and I know we talked about going slow, but I am going to burst. My heart is going to come pounding through to the outside of my chest if I do not do this. I love you. There, I said it. I love you, and I have loved you for a long time, actually since before the blizzard, and I will love you for the rest of my life. Even if you never do anything about this, I will always love you."

My heart was pounding. I did not want to look at him, I was so afraid.

He sat up, and took me in his arms, and said very quietly, almost a whisper "Pauly, I do not deserve you. You are too good for me. But you have always been honest, and I think you have never been more honest than right now. Thank you. I know it sounds weird to say thank you after you have just confessed all of that to me, but truly, thank you for loving me, thank you for caring about me, thank you for giving me this chance to be what I really am, thank you for allowing me to be just me."

He went on: "I want to love you, I want to learn to love you, I want to learn how to give you what you need and deserve and want. So for now, please know this: I love you as much as it is possible for me to love, because baby, I truly do not know how, but I am trying, and you make it easy for me to learn just by watching you. Thank you."

I was crying. He wiped the tears from my cheek, and kissed me. He pulled me down to lay in an embrace with him, and we slowly drifted off to sleep.

The city of Davis was confusing the next day; we had a hard time finding the appropriate offices for the farming information Dad wanted us to get for him. The University of California -- Davis is the big major agricultural school in the California flagship university system, unlike the campus I was going to be attending in a few days at Sacramento State, the second-tier system. After a couple of dead-end turns and nearly getting a parking ticket, we found the right place and were able to get everything Dad needed, and also set up a visit to the farm by one of the specialists who was interested in coming out to see our operations.

Because of the delays in Davis, it was about two hours later than we had planned on in getting to downtown San Francisco, so we called home and told Mom that we were going to get a cheap hotel and stay the night rather than run all the way back home late that day in traffic. David was impressed with the City by the Bay, and of course we had to do all of the tourist things, like drive across the Golden Gate Bridge, as I explained that one of my ancestors had helped to build it, and then we had to go to Chinatown, and walk around Union Square, and eat dinner on the wharf across the street from Ghirardelli Square, and buy `SF' T-shirts.

The nasty little hotel room we stayed in that night was down a block from Union Square, and even though it was about a hundred years old, we did not care, we were just two lovers in love, in flames, ready to pounce on each other as soon as the door was closed. As soon as the door was closed, David grabbed me and hugged me, and began kissing me, and turned me around to rest my back against his chest, and began unbuttoning my shirt, and kissing me madly on my neck and ears. By the time he made it down to my belt, I was already hard.

He turned me around and knelt in front of me and ripped open my zipper and as quickly as possible pulled my erection out of my underwear and shoved it into his mouth. He was like a starving man, and I nearly lost my balance, as the feeling of being engulfed in him overcame me. I rested my left hand on top of his head, and as he worked on my cock, I wanted to be in him in every way, and to have him in me in every way as well. We fell onto the bed, and I clawed the rest of my clothing off as he continued sucking me, not caring where anything fell, just wanting all of this man, every inch of him, and began trying to twist around so I could get to his cock as well and engulf him with my mouth.

David got the message, and finally stopped long enough to get naked, and resumed sucking me in a 69 position, which was quickly becoming my favorite, and we took each other's hardness and began a passionate rhythm that would inevitably lead us to shooting, which in a very few minutes, it did, as David came first on my chest, and I followed seconds later on his.

He fell back on the bed, and was breathing hard and said "Twenty years from now will it still be like this?"

"Nope, it will be better."

"Why?"

"'Cause we will be able to look back at this night, and all of the other nights, and realize what we have given to each other and what we mean to each other."

"You are too romantic."

"Hate it?"

"Nope. Never stop." And he grasped my softening cock, and began stroking it, and said "You better be able to fuck me."

"Really? Think you are ready for that?"

"Not just ready, craving it. Fuck me please, baby."

And in a few minutes, after lubing his ass and my cock, I was plunging inside of him and craving his ass as much as he was craving being fucked. It was the second time for us, but it was just like the first, actually it was better than the first, because we did not have to stifle our moaning, and he sure moaned!

In the middle of fucking, he began moving, trying to re-position us, and finally convinced me to do it on our hands and knees, and I was standing behind him on my knees, grasping his hips with my hands and shoving myself inside of him, almost ramming it in him, and he was moaning louder and begging me to fuck him, and suddenly I was cumming again, and moaning his name.

We collapsed together, with me on top of him, and I was afraid I was crushing him, but he assured me I was not hurting him, and he turned his face to the side and said "Don't even think about pulling out of me!" I stayed in him as long as I could, until I began to get soft, and the little rascal slipped out by itself. The popping sound it made startled us both and we laughed. He rolled to the side, and stared at me.

"What?"

"You are good. In fact, you are the best I have ever had."

I laughed. "I am not going to ask how many you have had."

"One."

"Oh, OK, that's good."

"How many have you had?"

"Hundreds. In my dreams."

He threw a pillow at me, and we laughed, and we went to the bathroom and cleaned ourselves. I asked him if he wanted to fuck me, and he said "maybe in the morning before we leave the hotel." We quickly fell asleep, arm in arm.

The morning came too quickly, and I still felt tired, but lying on my side felt David trying to get inside of me, and so I rolled to a position where he could find my hole and shove his hardness inside of me. He lubed me, and very soon the coldness of the lube turned warm, as his cock invaded my hole for only the second time, and I was filled with a warmth and thickness and fulfillment and craving that would not stop.

I wanted this man to fuck me every day for the rest of my life. David was kneeling over me with his legs encasing mine, and I was on my side and so I could push back against his thrusts, and we fucked for nearly twenty minutes, and he finally came inside of me, filling me with warmth and a feeling of ownership.

We showered together, and he stroked my cock while we showered, and we kissed in the shower, getting sloppy wet, and water all over the bathroom floor, and finally, laughing, got ready for the trip back home. We went to Berkeley for breakfast, even though it was mid-morning, and had a slow drive back home over the brilliant green Coast Range Mountains. We thought about stopping at the Nut Tree for lunch, but it turned out to be too soon after our breakfast, so we went on home.

When Mom saw us drive up, she was sitting on the broad front porch. I asked "Waiting for us?" and she smiled and waved and said "Not really, just enjoying the day, not too many like this in the winter." As we stepped up onto the porch, she said "Boys, sit down please." I was suddenly afraid.

"David, thank you for coming to visit us. I don't know if you have had a good time, but we have enjoyed every minute you have been here. I want to say something to you both, so please just hear me out. David, thank you from me personally, as well as from the entire family, for what you have done for our son."

"Ma'am?"

"David, please, I am not blind. I am a mother, and mothers have a sense that other people do not. I know what Paul has had to battle with his whole life, and now I see that through you, or better yet, with you or even because of you, he is more at peace than I have ever seen him, Perhaps he is even in love?"

I coughed; I wanted to run and hide under the porch, and David, god bless him, just sat there very calmly.

"Sister Campbell, Paul is a great blessing in my life. I do not know completely or fully yet what I want in my life, but if there was ever a man I wanted to fall in love with it is your son."

OK, I can die now.

"David, thank you. This is hard for us, you realize that, and I am sure there are many choices ahead for the both of you that are going to be very hard. Please know that we love you both and support you and honor your decisions, whatever they may be. You are welcome here, and you are welcome in our family any time."

And then she turned to me and said "You really did not think I was that stupid, did you?" and she laughed.

"Mom, this is incredibly hard for me. I love you and Dad both very much and I never wanted to hurt you. I have always tried to do the right thing, but this is bigger than me, and I just did not know what to do. And then he happened."

"Son, you cannot blame this on David."

"Oh, I can take it" David laughed.

"No, really, Mom, I mean David opened a way for me to be able to envision my future, in a way that I had always kept hidden because of well, so many things, you get it?"

"Yes Paul, I get it. Let me tell you something. I am not happy that either of you boys are gay, because I know what lies ahead of you, from the church to society in general, and it is a hard road, and if you choose to be together as a gay couple, it may be even worse. But this place right here," and she tapped her foot on the flooring of the porch, "this place is your home and it will always be your home and there is never any reason to hide what you are from the people in this home who love you."

"Thank you Sister Campbell."

"Bethany."

"I can't call you that, really, but thanks."

"David, Paul, I need you to do me a favor. David is going home to Utah in a few days, and tonight is the only time I can get the whole family here for a dinner together. There is a brisket roasting in the oven, there will be four vegetables including roasted red potatoes, and I need you to run to the store and get fresh tomatoes, avocados, and jalapeños, as well as tortillas. I don't make tortillas here at home any more. We will also need something for dessert. Be back as quick as you can."

I was stunned. I was silent all the way to the grocery store. I made David drive. He kept looking at me cautiously, I suppose because I must have scared him a little. Finally, in the grocery store, as we were approaching the produce, he said "Do we need fruit?"

I turned to him, and with a very serious look on my face, said "Don't we have enough fruit already?" He was very perplexed, and I finally broke into a grin and grabbed him, and he relaxed and started laughing.

I made him drive home again, and we began to talk.

"David, I do not know your middle name. You forced mine out of me, but you never told me yours. Give."

"Well, actually I have two, in the old southern tradition from my mother's family. My name is David Stephen Douglas Branson. How about that?"

"Wow." I laughed. "So you should be the lawyer, not me?"

Dinner was a raucous affair as was usual around my family, but it was joyous. As soon as the blessing had been said, my father stood at the head of the table and began speaking. "Folks, loved ones, we are taught in the church that the most important thing in this world is to prepare for the next world, where we get to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Naturally, the family is the focal point of this life here on Earth, and so it should be. Now, it seems to me that some folks have defined `family' in a very narrow way. But tonight, we Campbells get to broaden that definition. You all may not have yet met David, but I want you to know..." and suddenly, one of the extremely few times I ever saw my Dad cry, as he continued "we are deeply proud of having you meet David, and please help us welcome him into our family, because of what he has brought to all of us, and especially what he has brought to our oldest son Paul." And he sat down, amid a wild round of applause and chatter.

I could not breathe. I looked at David, and stood up, and encouraged him to stand up also, and I said "Look everybody, I know this seems kind of sudden to all of you, and David and I do not have firm plans at the moment, but we have said `I love you' to each other, and what that brings in the future we do not know yet, but thank you for your love and support."

David was blushing of course, and said "Well I did not know this was going to be an engagement party" and everyone laughed, and he continued, "Thank you all for your love, for your hospitality, and for the things you have offered me. Thanks, Sister and Brother Campbell, and all of you, Scott and Emily, this has been the greatest week of my life." We sat down, and I could not continue eating.

That was Friday night. We went to bed late, after playing Monopoly with Scott and Emily, and did not make love, but just held each other. Saturday we spent riding all around the farm on the four-wheelers, and finally found a creek near the shepherd shack to stop and get drinks. By the time we got back to the farm house, we were both tired and just wanted to shower and lay down and take a nap. In the shower, we kissed, and jacked each other off, and finally ran out of hot water. We napped on the queen bed, and did not hear when Mom called us to dinner, and Dad came and woke us up.

It was a little embarrassing to have my father find me in bed with my lover, but he just smiled and said, "Come on boys, your mother is waiting." We enjoyed a quiet dinner with Mom and Dad, because Scott and Emily had gone out with friends to a church dance. I was hoping that my parents would not say anything more about the relationship issue, and thankfully they did not. They encouraged David to come any time to visit, and Dad even said if David wanted to come in the spring and work on the farm, he would be welcome.

That night in bed, I asked David to make love to me, and when he was inside of me, making me feel full and warm and loved and on the edge of every sexual emotion I have ever felt, he asked me if I felt different than the night we spent in the blizzard.

"Of course", I laughed, "that night I wanted your cock in me, but it was only in my hand, remember?" He laughed, and his thrusting inside of me became more rhythmic and slow and soon he was cumming in me and I was in a place I knew I wanted to be forever.

"Really, though, Paul, is it different?"

"David, I have said this to you already so forgive me for the redundancy, because I do not know how many times a couple over a lifetime may say `I love you', but David Stephen Douglas Branson, I love you. Nothing will change that. Only the intensity of my love will change. Yes, it is different, and that is the reason."

We fell asleep quickly, and in the early morning hours, before the sunrise, he stroked me awake and asked me to make love to him. It was sad and it was sweet and it was special, and it somehow held more meaning than any other time. We showered and dressed, and packed for the airport, and sooner than anyone wanted we were on the road to drop him off for his flight to Salt Lake City.

I did not cry on the way home. I had kissed him in the parking lot before we went inside the terminal, but suddenly at the last minute just before we were to part, he turned and kissed me. On the lips. And then he said "Paul, I love you." He did not say goodbye.

I did cry, long after I got home, riding the four-wheeler back up the canyon toward the creek where we had spent those few minutes on Saturday afternoon. I bawled like a newborn baby. I had to get it out, I had to release it, and I had to find a new stage to be on, to launch myself into the next and the next and the next and whatever came after that. It was cleansing.